Skill Rank-Ups: A Whirlwind of Absurdity
Skill rank-ups—three of them! Here they come, come, come!!! The skill rank-ups have arrived!! I let out a cheer and checked the tickets. Without a moment's hesitation, I tore them open right away.
Wet Wipe Summon, Succubus Pheromone, and Glow-in-the-Dark Dinosaur have leveled up!
The tickets spun wildly, swirling in an intense vortex of light. With a dazzling flash, three skills in my skill window began to glow brightly.
"This is gonna be a riot for real." What the hell am I supposed to do with these damn things?! This world is straight-up tormenting me—there's a limit to forced suffering!
I dropped to my knees in despair, and two people looked down at me with strange expressions.
"See? He's definitely not doing well!"
"Right?!"
Thanks for worrying... Our party was so sweet. Larirure Larirarion scooped me up princess-style and carried me. Lemon Hyacinth wrapped a bandage around my head—thanks for the thought, at least.
Anyway, time to check out these ranked-up skills.
Wet Wipe Summon LV.2
- Produces wet wipes from your hand.
- Material: Ethanol.
- Ethanol refills available anytime.
Succubus Pheromone LV.2
- Charms succubi.
- Corrupts succubi into females.
- ※ Warning: Touch from a succubus will drain your energy and kill you instantly.
Glow-in-the-Dark Dinosaur LV.2
- Summons a glow-in-the-dark dinosaur made of rubber.
- Any dinosaur form possible!
- Real-life size also possible!
They were... all so incredibly useful that tears welled up in my eyes. At least I won't have my head split open by a succubus. Not that I ever want to meet one—they're high-level monsters even A-rankers can't handle.
The glow-in-the-dark dinosaur had no size limit, so it seemed kinda useful. Sure, it's just rubber, but a massive one could still be dangerous. A real-life-sized glow-in-the-dark T-Rex... someone out there might want that, right...?
"You okay?"
"I'm fine..."
With Noksu's concern, we boarded the elevator. She warned us to be careful from now on, since they'd confirmed people targeting humans. But even if we lay low, they'd come for us eventually.
These guys could open portals anywhere—from the Magic Palace to the underground. Hiding was pointless. Plus, I was the only human in this city. Word would spread on its own.
Noksu knew that too. She said she'd love to assign an A-rank adventurer as a bodyguard.
"Including an S-rank serial killer, demons who can open portals and tame monsters, and even spies leaking info from our side... Their forces might be bigger than we thought."
She'd talk to the All Gods Temple as well. If they were after resurrecting an Evil God, the temple wouldn't ignore it.
The gods' prophecies could detect danger, but they were vague. Sometimes knowing them made things worse, locking in the fate. A god-spoken future was nearly inescapable.
"Unless you're Master or Overlord level, defying fate is tough."
She urged us to stay cautious while they investigated urgently.
So, maybe take it easy with some business? But a sudden ambush mid-sale would suck.
"Guess we gotta ask the guild," Larirure Larirarion said, suggesting we hire protection through them. The Adventurer's Guild was fine, but she insisted on the Trust Union guilds—there were elves there who'd help any human, her face grim.
"No, let's think it over carefully first."
Too much had happened today; my head was a mess. What to do with the World Tree seed? The leveled-up Forest skill... best not to dwell.
One lesson: skills rely on imagery. Imagining the hamster form activated Shapeshifter. Others worked the same. I should've realized when mindlessly shaping glow dinosaurs.
The Adventurer's Guild was busier after the incident. The All Gods Temple, kingdom, and guilds were investigating together. A force targeting the city with portals had even assassinated the king—and now sought an Evil God? Everyone was desperate to stop a bigger disaster.
During our week at the inn, we saw knights in armor, wyvern riders, priests—a spectacle I'd never witnessed before.
The Magic Palace probe came with massive bounties. Only a photo of Hands Collector, dead 10 years ago—the sole lead.
"We're rich!"
Lemon Hyacinth danced excitedly, Larirure Larirarion sang. We'd recovered the kingdom's crown and treasures via the guild: a whopping 15 PP. Compared to our snot-nosed kid earnings, it was a fortune.
We split it 5 PP each and pondered uses slowly. Larirure suggested tougher gear from the dwarf kingdom. Or maybe just meet the parents...?
'An Evil God, huh...' That detector wasn't for resurrection—just locating. A living one, not dead. What was the goal? World destruction?
I wrung out my infinitely rechargeable ethanol wet wipe, pondering. Larirure happily filled a bottle, thrilled it duplicated booze. Watching her made worries fade. Deep thinking wouldn't change much anyway—time to earn and enjoy.
"Phew, exhausting."
We kept at the business. I stayed hidden behind the stall making goods; they handled sales and transport.
After a good day, as they chattered about drinks, I bumped shoulders with a passing young man. I picked up his dropped cube and handed it back.
"Thanks, couldn't see ahead."
"No problem."
A cube toy... even in this world? The friendly-looking guy smiled with his eyes and vanished into the crowd.
"Crowds are nuts lately."
"Magic Palace probe plus A- and B-ranks returning. Anomalies stopped."
Larirure replied to Lemon Hyacinth. Yeah, crowds were thick—bumps were common. Anomalies vanished like lies once the Evil God's Watchers succeeded.
'Wish the All Gods Temple handled it...' Greedy, but I was too weak. Lay low, then hunt Magic Palace again.
"So, what about the hero?"
Slipping into an alley through the crowd, a voice echoed from the shadows. The cube-holding youth pondered, then smiled. Bonus: fried chicken from the giant robed figure.
"Barely any calluses on his hands. But a shortsword at his waist—not his main weapon. Doesn't primarily use swords."
"I see."
"Had a memorize spellbook, but no mana aura. Doesn't cast with his own mana."
"Divine blessing?"
"His party's level couldn't pierce Black Pudding or Invisible Stalker. He has reversal skills. Air around him purified, nice scent—unique god's favor. Hands reeked of ethanol; booze and chicken are his skills."
"Useful, but not combat-oriented."
"Good judgment, plays his cards well. Treasures comrades. Impression? Weaker than expected. Oh, succubus-like pheromone scent too."
"He's a guy."
"Maybe a girl?"
The man laughed—more fun not knowing what he'd pull. Obvious from looks was boring. Endless depth in the hero thrilled him.
"What now?"
"Like in hero tales? Hero arrives dramatically to save the day where trouble brews."
Grinning, he waved them off: Hero'd fix it. Go wild. In this drab world, heart-pounding excitement... though it might fizzle suddenly.
"Wonder if our hero can kill humans, not just monsters~?"
The youth vanished into shadows with the robed giant.
Soon after, near Salacia Sea by Gardriel Island: Bolef Kingdom, where our incident hit day 8, vanished from history and maps.
We heard three days later. Merchants found no survivors. Most vile monster among foul sorcery-spawned abominations had claimed it...
Muttering Maw
The Muttering Maw had devoured the kingdom post-sorcery. People trembled at the witches' return.