How Many in a Hero Party?

"How many people are allowed in a hero party?"

"That's why this is the holy sword I got from the constellations yesterday."

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"A hero's sword? It just looks like a hilt though?"

"They say my obsessions are the blade... I don't have much interest in naughty stuff, so my libido's pretty low."

".........Is that normal for a guy?"

Naughty thoughts did make it extend a little, but there was a limit. Lack of imagination, maybe.

Larirure Larirarion touched the hilt but shook her head. In the end, since it was half my soul, it needed my obsessions no matter who wielded it.

"Guess there's no helping it.... We're gonna be husband and wife someday anyway, so I'll have to strip a layer!"

She shouted boldly, but her face turned beet red, sweat beading on her brow.

If naughty thoughts were the key, didn't that mean imagining a girl's naked body? It made sense, but I didn't want to peek at a party member's body for something like that.

"Sounds like an excuse. Feels like I'm taking advantage of you, Larirure."

"You know how desperate a 27-year-old dwarf gets! You don't feel that toward me, do you?!"

Humans like big breasts or something? Her face ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠was on the verge of tears, pure despair, so I shook my head no.

Should I be honest...? She hadn't even cried fighting black puddings—what was making her this desperate?

"Actually, during that test earlier, imagining your belly you showed me once or your underwear made it come out a bit."

"Really? Th-then... wanna see more?!"

Her eyes flew wide like she'd spotted hope and salvation. "Big sis will service you!" she said, grabbing my wrist.

I politely declined.

"Look! Big sis is mustering her courage here! Your love for me becomes the blade of the holy sword! Love turning to sword—that's romantic for us dwarves!"

Her face a total wreck, she yelled, "I'll show you! Let's get a room at the inn and at least touch!" Her face burned crimson, body trembling.

Then, like a robot with a blown fuse, she went pffft—froze, dropped to her knees, and slammed her forehead to the ground.

"I'm trash.... What am I doing to a kid younger than me... But I'm really desperate..."

Why did Larirure always charge in and self-destruct like this?

And right in the middle of the main street—she collapsed sobbing. Adventurers and locals stared, murmuring about us.

"Waaaah...."

"Larirure, get up."

"I wanna ask if you like me as a woman, not just a party member! Then maybe...! I'd just seem like a clingy girl!"

She knew that herself—that made her a good person, right? Dwarven bluntness, but her face was flushing like it might explode.

What should I do...? I didn't know much about feelings since no one had ever liked me. Even if someone flew in confessing true love, I'd need experience to know if it made me happy or not.

Smack— I wiped her tears and kissed her cheek.

Her sobs stopped dead. She froze solid.

"The holy sword... we'll use it eventually. Not urgent. It's our day off—don't cry from morning on."

"....Y-yeah..."

I took her hand, pulled her up. "Where to?" Her soul was gone.

Her body was here, but her dazed eyes had lost their way.

Clear Mind.... Help me... How do I handle girls?

The goddess was giving direct dating advice in my head...?! Is this okay, Goddess?

I dragged Larirure by the hand to the bakery. Her face showed no sign of cooling, gripping my hand tight, mouth agape, eyes still blank.

I sat her down, fed her cake by spoon. She ate it fine, but like a limp doll—no reaction even shaking her shoulders.

Girls... I don't get them at all. Never did in my old life, even less now...

"So you gave her a cheek kiss, and she broke like her soul got yanked out?"

Anyone would think she'd taken drugs. Larirure had her head slammed on the table.

I asked Noksu, another woman at the adventurer guild hangout. She burst out laughing.

"No way, Larirure's super famous. 17th failed matchmaking in Mongrel Kingdom, and that time she threw a fit on the street yelling 'I wanna get married too!!! I want a boyfriend!!'—guild folks all know. Even receptionists do. She's not called Dwarf Cupid for nothing.... Female dwarves date by 17 at latest, but she's 27 and never even held a guy's hand! Puhahaha!"

Noksu cracked up mid-sentence, clutching her belly, trembling. She chugged water—then spat it in my face.

"She breaks from a cheek kiss from a younger kid—puh, pffft hahahahaha!!! Princess dress outside, princess brain inside!! Ahaha! I'm dying... Aigoo, demon choking here!! Face red, dragged by a young boy—always bragging she'd snag an older guy, pffft hahahahaha!!!"

Larirure flew in, kicking Noksu. Noksu nimbly kicked off the floor, backflipped mid-air to dodge, landing beside me like it was routine.

"She always starts it, then gets mad herself."

"Still, she can pick any woman—means she likes you, right?"

"She's great. Reliable big sis type. Marriage... too early, but if it ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠happens, maybe."

"For real?! Marriage?! Not just grabbing and hammering?!"

"That's dwarf slang for mating."

"Don't tell him!!!"

I had no plans to leave anyway... Marriage might happen. I had no clue, but it was her goal from the start. I hadn't pushed her away, so better think seriously. Reliable adult, proper person.

"Adventurer couples are common. Even parties of one ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠guy and his wives."

Noksu added there were plenty of late-blooming virgins past that age. Larirure lunged yelling shut up—headbutted her down.

....This receptionist was stronger than she looked...?

"Humans seriously considering marriage is great. If you're adding party members, I can recommend a demon I know."

"Male if possible."

"I'll find one. Party members need care."

Back to normal, she thumped her chest. "Leave it to me!"

Grow faster by expanding party. Catch the Maou and me. If she's motivated, great.

Receptionists crowded, clapping congrats. "My treat today!" Larirure yelled.

Girls swarmed out; just me and Noksu left.

"I wouldn't date a weirdo dwarf like that."

"Thanks for the advice..."

What a hectic day. She was even doing circus acts on the table, chugging booze.

Business tomorrow—I bought wrappers from alchemy guild and headed back.

Wish I had a constellation skill guaranteeing growth.

......No fantasy I knew had a goddess like this.

I tore the falling Constellation Ticket right away.

"......"

No cancel? Auto-activates once a day? This was too much...

But it was active, not passive. Description said that, skill usable once daily.

I sighed in relief. No needless disaster victims. Not when I didn't want it, ignoring my will...

But those Stat Increase Tickets... tough choice.

Forces me to roll. Dice constellations—hard to trust.

"Wanna try? Daily Bonus"

"....1?"

Calm down—no disaster. My stats hit 24 now.

Once daily, min 1 max 2—huge gain. Low odds for 1 or 100...

No, that's gambler's fallacy...!

But couldn't skip. I like mint choco too. Devil's temptation.

Shudder at the constellation's cunning.

"Can't rely on random skills forever."

Tomorrow, recruit allies, find ways to use existing skills. Time Rewind could help big time if usable.

Bam—

"Show me your dick!!"

Drunken Larirure burst in yelling. Seeing my cold stare, booze fled her—face paling, she knelt quietly, bowing.

"....Sorry. Got excited for city tour, drank."

".....Good you know... I bought everything needed..."

"I'm trash!! You won't toss me, right!?"

"Don't make me trash!"

She crawled nimbly, clung to my leg trembling, asking.

Is our party really okay? Daily poverty, constellation gambling, growth distant...

Goddess all "Okay passing duty to kid #2!" mindset.

My fantasy worlds weren't like this, surely.