Chapter 524: Just Let Me Hold It Once (31)
Translator: RaidenTL
Chapter 524: Just Let Me Hold It Once (31)
[What are you?]
The question came from Elder Shin after the Monster of Wudang, the White Ripple Sword, and Namgung Bi-ah had departed.
He was looking at Thunder Fang as he asked.
When I’d heard that Namgung Bi-ah was heading for the North Sea, I’d nearly lost my mind. I’d confronted Namgung Myung, demanding answers.
But he’d offered none.
The ensuing silence had only stoked my fury. By then, I was already half out of my senses.
How to describe it? It was as if boiling blood and scalding heat had rushed to the crown of my head. A rage I couldn't control had taken hold.
Looking back now, it's bizarre. Even for an unexpected situation, that level of anger was uncalled for.
Emotions I can't master are always a nuisance.
The real problem is that I know this, yet I still fail to rein them in.
What am I?
Just as I was about to scream in a blind rage, Elder Shin intervened. His interruption helped me cool down, if only a fraction.
What are you?
I recalled Elder Shin’s words to Namgung Myung. Was it yesterday, or the day before? The Elder had said something similar then.
-You are not Myung.
Elder Shin, who had been quietly observing Namgung Myung’s outburst, had reached a firm conclusion by the end.
That he was not Namgung Myung.
Then who the hell is he?
If that presence isn't Namgung Myung's lingering spirit, then what in the world could it be?
[...Heh heh...]
A faint, dry laugh echoed from Thunder Fang after Elder Shin's question.
[...What am I, you ask, Shincheol? That's a poor jest.]
[Does this look like a jest to you?]
Vmmm.
A warmth bloomed in my heart. It wasn't my own.
The subtle scent of plum blossoms began to flow through my meridians. A Taoist Qi that was light yet profound, deep yet strangely transparent.
This was unmistakably Elder Shin's aura.
[You are not Myung. Are you?]
[...Hah...]
At those firm words, Namgung Myung laughed. It was a cold, dismissive sound.
[Then who do you say I am? I am Namgung Myung.]
He spoke coolly, as if telling the Elder to stop spouting nonsense. But Elder Shin’s reaction remained unchanged.
[You may have deceived your descendant, but do you truly believe you can deceive us?]
[Shincheol...!]
[You are not Myung.]
Vwoooom-!
Thunder Fang began to tremble violently in my grasp at Elder Shin's declaration.
[Stop your bullshit. I am Namgung Myung. If I am not Namgung Myung, then who am I?]
Drrrdrdrdr-! The vibrations were so intense my hand shook.
Crackle! Sparks flew into the air, born from the faint Lightning Qi now radiating from Thunder Fang.
[After all this time, you appear only to insult me? You dare?]
[Yes, it must have been a very long time.]
The Elder's memories are… empty. Fractured. He’d said the gaps felt like shards of broken glass.
What was it he’d told me?
That he’d awoken from a long slumber to find himself sealed within an artifact.
It was a story that diverged slightly from the official histories.
According to the records of Mount Hua, the Divine Sword of Mount Hua was said to have ended his life shortly after fulfilling his duties as sect leader.
But from my actual conversation with the spirit…
I could tell the history was wrong. Twisted, starting from some specific point.
I don’t know if it was something done by those connected to Yeon Il-Cheon in the past, or if the Blood Demon's faction had tampered with things, but…
…there was clearly a problem.
And the Elder was probably the one most troubled by it.
[Yes. An incredibly long time. You, who have not endured such an age, what do you know to speak in such a manner?]
Namgung Myung's voice was thick with fury. It was the same as last time—this anger directed at Elder Shin, who hadn't shared that passage of time.
[You still know nothing.]
The anger was justified.
If it were me, remaining as a spirit for that long, waiting for someone who might never come… I might have gone half-mad myself.
However.
[You are right. I do not know.]
Elder Shin seemed to hold a different perspective.
[But I do know one thing: you are not Myung.]
[This bastard, really...!]
[It must have been a very long time. Long enough for Mount Tai to crumble to dust, for nameless streets and countless generations to rise and fall upon its ruins.]
The Light of Might of Shaolin was barely clinging to his sanity, so weary and crushed by time it was pitiful to behold.
Tang Jaemoon had endured her entire life with the sole conviction of aiding the Elder.
But the Tang Clan he had sought to protect had rotted away from the inside.
It was too long a time.
To endure such an epoch is to undergo a change inevitably mixed with degeneration and corruption.
For those who had once harbored the will to save the world, did this world truly seem right?
It was a miracle they hadn't gone utterly insane long ago.
And yet.
But there's no way the Elder doesn't know that.
So why was he so adamant that the voice was not Namgung Myung?
I still couldn't grasp his reasoning.
Just then, the Elder began to speak again.
[Time is inherently like that. So even if you lost your true self along the way, it cannot be helped.]
[And the one who knows that is the one insulting me now?]
[Even that steadfast Cheolyoung eventually lost hope. I suppose it can't be helped.]
[If so, then at least...]
[However.]
What is this?
…This.
The two of them were conversing, but for some reason, a cold sweat trickled down my back.
The air grew heavy. This pressure wasn't coming from Namgung Myung. This was…
Elder Shin's presence?
The atmosphere was shifting in accordance with the Elder's emotions.
Hah.
Realizing that, I was struck anew by how incredible this old man truly was.
A man who was nothing but a spirit without his original body, yet could command such a palpable presence merely by controlling his emotions.
He often seemed like a foul-tempered old man, but at times like this, he revealed a completely different side.
In that heavy, pressing air, Elder Shin addressed Namgung Myung.
[At the very least, that man did not lose his conviction.]
[…!]
[I cannot feel such conviction from you. And yet, are you truly Namgung Myung?]
His voice, spoken so matter-of-factly, clearly contained something immense within it.
A faith so profound I couldn't begin to comprehend it.
A distant, profound certainty that allowed him to speak of 'conviction' with such absolute clarity.
[…]
Was it the weight of the Elder's words?
Namgung Myung fell silent for a long moment. Then, after a while, he spoke in a dry, rasping voice.
[…You know how many years have passed, and yet you say such things now?]
Even if one had conviction, enough time had passed for any such thing to have crumbled to dust long ago.
That much time had flowed by.
It was strange to think any conviction could possibly remain.
[What is strange about it?]
[What do you, who have experienced nothing, know to say such things? At the very least… at the very least, you should not have said that.]
Unlike the others who had remained, Elder Shin, who had not experienced that long passage of time, should not have uttered such words.
I could understand Namgung Myung's argument.
He had suffered through hell to remain, and then some guy who just woke up after several hundred years comes along and questions why he's changed? Anyone would be furious.
The problem was…
…that something about it feels off.
There was something unsettling, almost… guilty, in Namgung Myung's voice as he said it.
Elder Shin seemed to have sensed it too.
[…Conviction, yes. One can lose it. I have no right to condemn you for that.]
[…]
[But if you were going to lose it, you should have done it properly.]
[What… do you mean?]
Somehow, the Elder's voice felt like it was gradually sinking deeper, growing colder.
[If you were going to lose your conviction, you should have stopped there. But has not desire taken its place?]
[…!]
[Do you intend to deny this as well?]
At his heavy words, the air grew even colder.
Desire has filled the void where conviction was lost. What could that mean?
I couldn't fully understand it, but Namgung Myung seemed to have some idea.
[I can feel nothing but desire from you. The ambition to restore your noble clan. The impatience to mend your broken swordsmanship. That is all.]
[And… what is so wrong with that?! Are you saying that even in this state, I should have yearned only for some abstract peace and cast the Namgung Clan aside? How could you say something so selfish!]
This world has long since rotted.
Rather than foolishly wait while crying for peace, I would save my own bloodline.
In a way, it could be called the most rational way of thinking.
He had said this before.
That because Elder Shin still had Mount Hua, which had lost nothing, he could not understand Namgung Myung's position.
He had a point. But hearing those words only made Elder Shin's voice clearer and colder.
[You're right. It is selfish, to be frank. It wouldn't have been strange for anyone to do so.]
[But then why…!]
[If it hadn't been Namgung Myung, that is.]
The tone that cut him off was filled with an undeniable, quiet power.
[That man had a phrase he always used to say. If you are Namgung Myung, you would know it.]
[…]
[Do you know it? Even when his entire body was painted in blood, he would say this.]
Namgung Myung remained silent.
Was it because he didn't know? Or because he couldn't bring himself to say it?
Once again, I couldn't tell.
[There is no need for a Namgung that stands alone in a crumbling world.]
[…!]
[He used to say that the sword of the Namgung Clan is a sword that becomes a king to protect others. But what need is there for a sword with no one to protect? That is what the man said every single day.]
A monarch without subjects is meaningless.
They were arrogant and unpleasant words, but because they came from the very core of his being (心), they resonated somewhere deep within me.
[If that Myung had lost his conviction, he's the kind of man who would have cut his own throat on the spot. Filling that empty space with desire? What a ridiculous notion.]
Now I understood.
The reason the Elder's voice was growing darker and colder wasn't because his emotions were drying up.
On the contrary.
He's angry.
He was so furious that he was becoming preternaturally calm.
[So, do not insult my friend any further.]
Was it because the will imbued in his voice was so overwhelming? For a moment, I felt like my breath had stopped.
I wanted to interject, but I was so completely overwhelmed by the Elder's atmosphere that I couldn't utter a single word.
I couldn't help but find that faith… amazing.
How can he be so sure?
The conviction that even if his friend had fallen, he would not have become that.
The depth of trust required to hold such a conviction.
Just what kind of life had they lived? What kind of bond had they forged, to be able to believe in someone so transparently, so absolutely?
It was a relationship I, who had not lived such a life, could not hope to comprehend.
[I will ask again. Who are you?]
[…Shincheol.]
Namgung Myung's voice as he called out to Elder Shin seemed to tremble. Or perhaps it seemed… resigned.
After a long, heavy silence, Namgung Myung began to speak again.
[I… I… am Namgung Myung.]
This time, his declaration was the same as before.
[That fact will not change, no matter what.]
[This bastard, really…]
[It's just that…]
[I am not the main body.]
At the last words Namgung Myung spat out, Elder Shin, who had been about to finally erupt in a roar, stopped short.
[…What? What did you just say?]
The main body? What was this about now?
At those sudden, ridiculous words, my eyes widened in shock.
As I darted my eyes around, trying to make sense of the situation, Namgung Myung continued.
[A lingering regret left behind by the main body for the sake of the Namgung Clan. That is what I am.]
[…What? A lingering regret? Then where did the real Myung go?]
Setting aside all this talk of a 'main body' and whatnot…
…if the one speaking now is something like a remnant, a fragment, then where is the real Namgung Myung?
Even Elder Shin was visibly flustered as he asked.
Namgung Myung answered him.
[…The North Sea. He is in the North Sea.]
Of all places, the name of that godforsaken land had to pop up again.
* * *
I opened my eyes.
My eyelids felt strangely heavy and bothersome.
"...Ugh..."
I staggered as I sat up. A strange, deep muscle ache pulsed through my arms as I moved them.
What?
I sat up, clutched my head, and tried to think.
When did I lose consciousness? Was the memory I just had… a dream?
The dream where Namgung Myung and the Elder were talking. No, I don't think it was a dream.
After that conversation, upon hearing the name 'North Sea,' I think I abruptly grabbed Thunder Fang and stormed outside.
Right after that, I tried to duel Namgung Bi-ah.
I used Thunder Fang… Ah.
That's right. I used Thunder Fang.
I also remembered how, while desperately trying to channel my Qi this way and that, I had suddenly been able to activate Thunder Fang.
And then, while dueling with it… I lost.
Yeah, I lost. I lost to Namgung Bi-ah.
I acted cocky with a sword I knew nothing about and was defeated by a feint.
And then…
…
Smack-!
The memory of something soft touching my lips suddenly surfaced, and I reflexively slapped my own cheek.
Heat was undeniably rising to my face.
I remember up to that point. Dammit. All too clearly.
So, what's this situation now?
Why did I lose consciousness and then wake up here?
…Don't tell me.
Did I faint just because of a little kiss?
Wow. That's… a bit problematic.
That's so embarrassing…
To faint over just a kiss? That couldn't be it.
If that was really what happened, I was ready to bite my tongue and die on the spot out of sheer shame.
I shouldn't just think about it. Should I die now? Yeah, that's better.
Just as I was about to stop my pathetic worrying and put my plan into action…
[Stop your foolishness. It wasn't because of that.]
…the Elder spoke to me in a voice dripping with such profound pity it was almost insulting.
[The first thing you do upon waking up is this… What am I to do with this boy?]
It wasn't? Then what was it? Why was I lying down?
[What are you asking? It was the recoil from using Thunder Fang.]
Huh?
Recoil?
Perhaps thanks to the Elder's words, a belated memory surfaced.
Right after Namgung Bi-ah's surprise kiss. I was frozen like a stone statue for a few seconds. It was the moment I thought, oops, and tried to move my body.
Just then.
-Ugh…!
I had to suddenly clutch my heart.
An immense, tearing pain had suddenly struck it.
And not long after, everything went black.
…That was the recoil from using Thunder Fang?
[I told you not to use something that doesn't suit you!]
But when I first touched it, and even when I used it, there was no major problem, was there?
Other than it consuming a vast amount of Qi, it seemed fine… Are you saying the recoil is that severe?
[In the first place, wouldn't it be stranger to think there would be no recoil from using such a powerful artifact?]
But… Solar Light…
[You said it yourself, didn't you? That Solar Light is less efficient than Thunder Fang.]
…
I could feel a slight, pointed barb in his words.
This old man was definitely holding a grudge because I had compared his Solar Light unfavorably to Thunder Fang.
…I'm sorry about that.
[Hmph.]
I tried to apologize, but it seemed Elder Shin wasn't going to be placated so easily.
Putting that aside for now, what the Elder said wasn't strange.
Just from the immense aura I felt when I used Thunder Fang, it would be bizarre if there were no recoil after it strengthened my body to such an extent.
Does that mean it doesn't just consume Qi?
The problem is, in my past life, I never saw the Demonic Sword Queen experience this much pain immediately after using Thunder Fang.
I saw her look utterly exhausted after depleting all her energy, but I never saw her gripped by such agony.
In other words, this was likely a problem unique to me.
If I were to look for the cause…
Because I tried to use something that doesn't suit me…
Just as the Elder said.
It was probably a side effect of forcing an incompatible artifact to work from the very start.
Indeed, I had taken an item fundamentally meant to be used with Lightning Qi and brazenly covered it in my own Fire Qi. The fact that I could activate it at all was strange enough.
If I'd known this would happen, I wouldn't have used it.
Regardless of the artifact's own performance, it was an item that offered me zero efficiency.
To think I almost died just because I was needlessly curious and wanted to try it out.
…That aside. How did I really use it?
Recoil or not, I first had to figure out how I was able to use Thunder Fang at all.
I was about to start pondering the reason.
[Kid. I don't think now is the time for that.]
The Elder's voice cut into my thoughts.
Huh?
[Can you not see what's beside you?]
What is he talking about?
Following the Elder's words, I slowly turned my head to look beside me.
There.
"...Huh...?"
My father was sitting there, calmly drinking tea.
And across from him sat Moyong Hi-ah, Wi Seol-Ah, and also Namgung Bi-ah, all with their heads bowed low in a posture that screamed 'we're in deep trouble.'
…
Seeing that, I gave a slight, understanding nod and lay back down on the bed.
This must still be a dream. A particularly stressful one.
I thought so and closed my eyes tightly.
It didn't even take ten seconds for me to realize, with a sinking feeling in my gut, that it wasn't a dream at all.
