Chapter 522: Just Let Me Hold It Once (29)
Translator: RaidenTL
Chapter 522: Just Let Me Hold It Once (29)
Should I let her go?
Namgung Bi-ah’s declaration, her desire to leave, sent my thoughts spiraling into chaos.
If I had to let her go… why should I?
The North Sea.
I wanted to stop her from insisting on journeying to that distant, frozen land.
And yet, I couldn't bring myself to forbid it.
The reason was simple.
Her eyes.
Namgung Bi-ah’s eyes, as they rested on me, were clearer than I had ever seen them. The usual haze was gone, and her blue irises shone with a piercing, jewel-like clarity. She looked like someone who had finally found her path.
Seeing that unnaturally bright resolve made it agonizingly difficult to tell her not to go.
But.
I said it anyway.
I wanted to tell her not to go. Not to leave me behind for that distant place. That’s what I wanted to say.
Even if it was dirty and petty. Even if I had to resort to such means, I wanted to hold onto Namgung Bi-ah.
It was a truly shameless feeling.
I had pushed her away so many times, despising this very emotion, but now that worry had taken root, I was completely entangled. This went beyond mere affection; it was a foul, ugly possessiveness.
Because I had carved out a place for Namgung Bi-ah in my heart, that space had grown ceaselessly, making it impossible to imagine letting her go.
And yet.
“I have to go.”
Even when I begged her not to, Namgung Bi-ah looked at me with those impossibly clear, bright eyes. To show them to me now, when she so rarely did, felt like a dirty trick.
So, should I let her go? Just like this?
I couldn't.
She’s going to train, to gain the strength to protect me? And for that, she has to go to the North Sea?
What a joke.
Who’s protecting whom?
Look at everything I’ve been through. Look at the purpose for which I've struggled, only for her to declare she’ll protect me in this life, too?
Not a chance.
I wanted to shout it right in her face.
You’re not the one protecting me. I’m the one protecting you. So just stay quietly by my side.
I wanted to spit out those pathetic words, but I bit my lip and held them back. This damned thing called affection stoked my possessiveness while simultaneously forcing me to endure it. That’s why I couldn't say it.
But even if my words were restrained, my actions didn't have to be.
I stood facing Namgung Bi-ah.
“...”
Our eyes met as I stared at her. She didn't look away. I gazed intently into her blue pupils.
...
Looking into that unwavering gaze, I found myself wanting to be the one to avert my eyes.
When was the last time I had looked at her so slowly? I tried to recall, but…
I don’t think there ever was a time.
As far as I knew, there wasn't. I had no memory of ever studying Namgung Bi-ah’s features in such detail. Perhaps that was why I found myself looking at her so intently now.
Pale, blue-tinted white hair. Snow-white skin. A subtle atmosphere lingered around her eyes, as if delicately powdered.
Beautiful.
She was still beautiful.
As I calmly observed her…
“...”
…I saw the accessory in her hair. It was the moon-shaped ornament I had given her. She was still wearing it. I’d bought her such a cheap one that it looked a bit worn out now. I should buy her a better one next time.
Ha.
Thinking that, I let out a short, dry breath. I must be crazy, thinking about things like this now.
Countless thoughts crossed my mind. A million stray ideas flashed through my head. I knew. The destination of all these thoughts was an attempt to ignore the part of me that screamed not to let her go.
Maybe because I knew that, it didn't work. There was no way I could ignore it. If I could, I wouldn't have kept Namgung Bi-ah by my side in the first place.
She probably had no idea what a monumental decision it was for me to keep her close. And I hoped she never would.
Shing.
A cool sound reached my ears. It was the sound of Namgung Bi-ah drawing her sword.
Seeing that, I asked, “Are you really going to do this?”
“Yes…” Namgung Bi-ah nodded firmly in response. Her posture was straight. Honest.
A duel. Namgung Bi-ah had accepted my ridiculous demand without hesitation.
It was impossible. No matter how much of a genius she was, this was beyond that. She must have known that as well.
The reason she accepted despite it all…
…It must be because of my pathetic trick.
The condition I attached to this duel was probably the reason. That we would duel using swords.
Since a straight fight was an absurd proposition to begin with, I’d added this stipulation. Furthermore, I’d woven in the wordplay that she didn't have to win, but merely gain my acknowledgment.
It was my own clever trick to get Namgung Bi-ah to agree. I had to offer something she would find acceptable.
And so.
I would defeat her and make her give up. That was my goal right now.
Petty, you say?
I know. I know that much…
I know it all too well. But that’s just how much I don't want to let Namgung Bi-ah go.
Gone were the days when I screamed for her to leave. Now, I was in a state where it would be difficult if she wasn't by my side. Especially in my current condition.
…My mind isn’t sound.
I hadn’t told anyone, but my mental state was not normal right now. Along with getting my qi under control, I needed time to grasp my changed emotional and mental landscape. Given the situation, I was desperately hoping Namgung Bi-ah wouldn't leave right now.
Whether I was cursed for my foul possessiveness or condemned for my selfish heart, so be it. That was how I felt.
Facing Namgung Bi-ah’s sword, I raised my own. It was an ordinary iron sword I had grabbed from nearby.
I wanted to use Solar Light, but that seemed like overkill.
As I raised my sword, I felt gazes from the side. They were the gazes of the White Ripple Sword and the Monster of Wudang. Their stares were filled with curiosity, no doubt because I had declared I would duel Namgung Bi-ah with a sword.
They must be wondering how I intended to fight like this. To them, this must seem like a very strange situation.
The difference in our levels was clear. But for a close-combat fighter like me to wield a sword meant I was giving up my main martial art, akin to fighting with both arms tied behind my back.
After all, I didn't know a damn thing about swords.
Even if I used my qi, without proper enlightenment, it would be a half-baked sword aura. And since I didn't know any sword arts to utilize it, it would be nothing more than wild, random swinging.
If I fought Namgung Bi-ah at the peak of her power, I would lose, barring any miracles. At least, that’s how it would look to them.
I wasn't sure about Namgung Bi-ah, since she knew me well. But seeing as she accepted the match, she probably thought the same.
However.
…Elder Shin. I’m counting on you.
I had none other than Shincheol, the Divine Sword of Mount Hua. A man who wouldn't lose to anyone when it came to the sword. A figure who had risen to the rank of a hero with a single blade.
I had seen him toying with even Namgung Jin as if teaching a child. This time, too, he would teach her a lesson with the sword.
That’s what I was thinking when I spoke to Elder Shin.
[…Huh…? Me…?]
Elder Shin, who had been quiet, spoke to me with a bewildered voice. His reaction was strangely unsettling.
What’s with that reaction…?
[No… Surely, you’re not telling me to fight?]
Then who else would fight?
[Look at this crazy bastard! It’s your body, so of course you should be the one fighting!]
Elder Shin spat out, sounding utterly dumbfounded. Hearing that, I was dumbfounded too.
What! How am I supposed to fight! I don’t even know how to use a sword!
[How can you say that so shamelessly! If you don’t know how to use it, you shouldn’t have suggested it, you bastard!]
If I say I’m using a sword, it’s only natural for you to step in, isn’t it?
It had always been that way until now. So I naturally thought it would be the same this time.
[Ha… haha… What am I to do with this crazy bastard? He’s trying to get a free ride on everything.]
Elder Shin lamented continuously, as if faced with an unexpected situation.
[When you said you’d use a sword, I was watching, thinking you’d just lose gracefully… You really are the most shameless bastard in the world…! Does it make sense to do this to your own fiancée?]
…Hey, you can scold me later. Can’t you just help me this one time…?
I knew he was looking at me pathetically, but I had to get this done, even if it meant throwing a tantrum. With that thought, I was about to beg Elder Shin.
[No.]
Elder Shin refused flatly.
Elder Shin…!
[Even if you ask, what can’t be done, can’t be done.]
Why? You were always good at stealing my body to use it…! Why are you pretending to be so righteous at a time like this?
[This little shit…?! When did I ever steal it…! Besides. It’s not that I won’t, it’s that I can’t.]
Pardon?
…He can’t? What does that mean?
My eyes widened at his unexpected words, and Elder Shin continued as if to explain.
[Right after your body changed. I can no longer borrow your body.]
…What? What kind of nonsense is that?
This was the first I was hearing of it. It had only been a few days since my shedding, but this was a problem Elder Shin had never mentioned.
Just as I was wondering what was going on, Elder Shin added,
[…You were running around so busy. I guess I forgot about it too, you see?]
You’ve got to be kidding me…!
At Elder Shin’s words, my mind finally went blank.
Elder Shin can’t enter my body anymore?
Then.
Then what am I supposed to do…?
[Why are you asking me? You’re the one who caused this mess.]
I’m screwed. I think I’m really screwed, don’t I?
…You’re lying, aren’t you? Please, just tell me it’s a lie. I’ll let it slide this one time.
[What, should I bet the name of a former Sect Leader on it? That my words are true…?]
That’s not convincing enough… I feel like you’d bet that without a second thought.
[Haha, you brat, if I could take over your body right now, I would have already done it and either pulled down your pants or bitten your tongue… It’s a shame I can’t.]
Fuck.
Hearing that, it seemed like it was really true that he couldn't.
Faced with this unplanned situation, my mind started racing like crazy.
What do I do?
What do I really do?
My pupils were shaking uncontrollably. Namgung Bi-ah must have noticed, as she tilted her head.
“…What’s… wrong?” Namgung Bi-ah asked, her voice laced with concern.
Should I just say we should fight with our fists? The desire surged within me.
[That’s a bit… Wouldn’t that be too pathetic?]
...
Elder Shin said, as if that was truly not an option. I knew it too. If I really said that, I felt like I would despise myself.
…Then what do I do? There’s no solution now.
[Can’t you just fight reasonably well with a sword? What’s so hard about it?]
Spoken like a man who once split the heavens with a sword. He made it sound so easy. If it wasn't hard, would I have been a brawler instead of a swordsman?
Maybe I should just use Solar Light.
Solar Light, tied to my left arm. If I used this, things might be different. At least it would be better than this iron sword.
No… Solar Light is just unbreakable, so it might be meaningless.
If I thought about it that way, it wasn't Solar Light, but…
Swish.
I looked down at Thunder Fang, which I was holding in my other hand. It was right after I had finished talking with Namgung Myung in his quarters. We hadn't talked for long, but we had an important conversation. Maybe that was the problem, because Namgung Myung had been silent.
…In terms of efficiency, this is better than Solar Light.
As a treasure that maximized the user’s power, this was more suitable for the current situation than Solar Light.
But I can’t use it.
Leaving aside why I could even hold Solar Light, this was an item that couldn't be used without Lightning Qi and the approval of Thunder Fang itself.
“...”
I stared at Thunder Fang for a moment and stealthily infused it with my qi. Taking advantage of the fact that I could touch it, I tried to inject a little.
[Where do you think you’re putting that filthy qi…!]
Namgung Myung, who had been quiet, suddenly roared.
Busted.
I gave an awkward laugh and said, ‘I just tried it, just in case.’
[Ha…! A bastard who can barely even touch it…! Don’t you dare even hope. This cannot be used without my permission.]
So it’s not just Thunder Fang’s choice, but Namgung Myung’s choice is also needed. To think I have to please a foul-tempered old man. What a shitty item.
Solar Light is better, then.
In that respect, Solar Light was better. At least with that, I didn't have to please Elder Shin.
However.
Was it just my imagination? As I infused my qi into Thunder Fang just now, I thought, ‘It felt like something was about to happen.’ It felt like it was accepting my qi better than I expected.
Just in case, I pushed a little more qi into it.
Perhaps sensing this, Namgung Myung spoke to me, his voice laced with irritation.
[Didn’t I tell you it was a useless act? I clearly said….]
Fwoosh-!
“Huh?”
[…Huh…?]
I had been pushing a considerable amount of qi into it for a while. Suddenly, a light erupted from Thunder Fang’s jewel.
Chwaak-!
Starting with the light, an immense heat bloomed from the blade.
“...”
[...]
Namgung Myung, who had been chattering away, fell silent at the sudden turn of events.
I looked at Thunder Fang in my hand and whispered quietly.
“It works…?”