Chapter 476: To You That Is Lost in Oblivion (3)
Translator: RaidenTL
Chapter 476: To You That Is Lost in Oblivion (3)
Thud. Thud.
Elder Shin continued to pound against the barrier, but I did my best to ignore the noise as I spoke with Tang Jaemoon.
Her earlier words gave me pause.
Tang Jaemoon’s reaction just now.
Elder Shin claimed there was a relationship between the lady from the Moyong Clan and the Thunderous Sword, but Tang Jaemoon’s response suggested there was more to the story.
Oh, of course.
I’m not that curious.
Okay, maybe I was a little curious. But the look on Tang Jaemoon’s face made it clear that some questions were better left unasked. Perhaps I had already overstepped by mentioning the Moyong Clan at all.
It was time to get to the main point.
“Senior.”
When I called out cautiously, her light green eyes turned to me. A trace of that earlier coldness remained, sending a shiver through me, but I had to press on. Steeling myself, I asked the necessary question.
“Why did you send me to that place?”
At my words, Tang Jaemoon lifted her head slightly, her green hair swaying with the motion. What answer would she give? I waited silently, my expression serious.
“How was it?” Tang Jaemoon began.
“Huh?”
“What was that place of yours like?”
“What are you referring to…?”
Why was she asking me this now? I stared at her, confused. Suddenly, she lowered herself and sat on the ground.
Huh?
My eyes widened in shock. As soon as she was seated, the same table from before materialized, complete with two teacups.
…Didn’t she shatter them all earlier?
I was certain she had smashed them to pieces, yet here they were, perfectly intact. How did this place even work? My mind swirled with confusion.
“…”
Setting my questions aside for the moment, I carefully sat down opposite her. It was clear she was waiting for me.
Dribble-
Tang Jaemoon began pouring tea into the cups. As I watched the stream of liquid, her voice reached me.
“What did you see? Or what did you change?”
I frowned immediately. I couldn’t help it.
“…Nothing. I wasn’t able to do anything.”
She had sent me there as a test, yet I had failed to leave any mark on that world. What was I even supposed to have seen or done?
The only thing I saw…
Was my own pathetic past.
What was the point of this test? No matter how much I thought about it, I couldn’t understand. With that frustration burning inside me, I asked Tang Jaemoon a question.
“Senior, you called this a test of regret.”
“Yes.”
“You said that nothing would change, no matter what I did.”
“Indeed.”
“I was brought back here without accomplishing a single thing. So what was the purpose of that test?”
I understood nothing. What had I gained from that world? What condition was met that allowed me to return?
“I wasn’t able to do anything.”
Was the test simply about confronting the regretful past I constantly dwelled on? Or was it meant to teach me the futility of struggle, that some things are immutable?
Whichever it was, my experience in that world had left me with nothing but a foul taste in my mouth.
I don’t get it.
What was I supposed to feel? I must have done something to pass, yet in truth, I had done nothing at all. My frustration mounting, I pressed her again.
“…What did I need to do?”
“Descendant.”
“Yes.”
“I told you at the beginning. You cannot pass or fail this test.”
She was right. She had said those very words before the test began.
-You cannot pass or fail this test.
-The thoughts you will have after the test, none of it matters.
There was no such thing as success or failure. Had I taken her words too lightly? Even so…
“…I don’t understand the test’s purpose.”
I never could have imagined an experience like that.
“What did I need to do in that world…?”
I had faced my past self. I had met the girl who died for me, and the girl who killed me. I had even encountered the woman known as the Calamity of the World.
The test wasn’t entirely without value. After meeting the Blood Demon, I learned of the countless alternate universes and their reasons for being. I had shattered my vessel and forsaken my humanity for greater power.
Moreover.
The Demonic Sword.
I learned that the Demonic Sword—no, Namgung Bi-ah—was fundamentally the same, no matter which world she existed in.
However.
So what?
Even with all that knowledge, I was left bewildered. What was I meant to learn and see there? It surely wasn’t for some grand new enlightenment.
Tang Jaemoon quietly took a sip of her tea after hearing my question. Her movements were so soft I couldn't even hear a sound.
A moment later, her gaze returned to me.
“Descendant.”
“Yes.”
“I do not know which world you went to, nor what you saw there.”
“…What?”
My eyes trembled at her words. She knew nothing?
“Then what was the point of this test?”
Why was I sent away? I had accepted this trial for the sake of the Heavenly Poison Orbs, but now I was just filled with a profound discomfort.
“…I…”
“The name of this test is ‘Regret and Longing.’”
“…”
She had told me this before it began.
“It is a test for you to face your regretful past.”
“I don’t understand.”
My regrets? Were they about the Celestial Sword? Or the Demonic Sword? For a moment, when I was reminded of her death, I thought it might be about the latter.
However.
It was nothing.
I never even reached the point of her death. Everything ended with the appearance of the Heavenly Demon.
Why did the Heavenly Demon appear there?
I had no answer for that, either. Was it because the Heavenly Venerable had set foot in Sichuan? Had she sensed his presence and intervened?
But the Heavenly Demon was in Xinjiang. How did she traverse such a distance to reach Sichuan in an instant? The specifics of how she knew or how she traveled didn't really matter. The idea that the Heavenly Demon was capable of anything was already carved into my heart. She truly could achieve any feat.
Because of her appearance, the test was forcibly concluded.
“I didn’t get to face my regrets.”
I couldn’t make sense of this situation at all.
“I…”
“No.”
As I tried to speak further, Tang Jaemoon cut me off, her voice firm.
“You have finished the test, descendant.”
“…What did I finish?”
I felt only frustration, a pressure building inside me until I felt ready to explode.
“I truly did nothing-“
“Shouldn’t you be happy that it’s over?”
“…!”
Her words shut my mouth.
“You didn’t have to face your regrets, and the test concluded. Shouldn’t you be glad?”
“That’s…”
“Why are you suffering so, descendant?”
I clenched my fists as I listened. She wasn’t wrong.
Huh.
…Why am I feeling this way?
That world had nothing to do with me. It could have been a reality that vanished eons ago. I gained new information and even grew stronger from the experience. By all accounts, it was a net positive.
And yet.
Why am I so angry?
Was I regretting not speaking more with the Celestial Sword? Was I still hung up on the Demonic Sword? Or was I furious at my own powerlessness when faced with the Heavenly Demon once again?
If it was none of those…
Maybe it’s because I didn’t get to slap that bastard upside the head.
Was I angry that I’d had the chance to beat up my past self and didn’t take it?
I didn’t know. I had no answer, but the anger was undeniably there.
As my thoughts grew more tangled with the mix of emotions,
“The regret you had to face,” Tang Jaemoon began, her eyes fixed on me, “was about the things you needed to realize, or the things you failed to remember.”
“What…?”
What kind of nonsense was that? I nearly spat the words out loud, but managed to hold my tongue. As infuriated as I was, I couldn’t afford to cross a line.
Yet, even without me finishing my sentence, Tang Jaemoon seemed to have a brief understanding of what I was thinking.
“I had hoped you would not make the same decision I did.”
“…Senior. If you’re going to explain, could you please be clearer-“
“You have already been feeling it, descendant. What you feel is not anger.”
Not anger? Then what was it?
“A sorrow so dense can often feel like rage.”
“…Do I look sad to you?”
“If not, then why are you crying?”
“…?”
I frowned at her words. Crying? I wasn’t crying at all. I raised a hand to my face, but my eyes were dry. What was she seeing?
I gave her a strange look, but she continued as if she hadn't noticed.
“Oblivion, you see.”
Oblivion.
The familiar word struck a chord deep within my chest, resonating for some unknown reason.
“It offers comfort from time to time, but it always leaves a trace.”
“Why are you bringing that up now?”
“One might believe they have erased everything, but unfortunately, that is never truly possible.”
Why was I feeling like this? I wanted to shout at Tang Jaemoon right then, to demand a proper explanation.
“This test may have been for you to face your regrets, descendant.”
But I found myself unable to speak. It was as if my mouth had been sealed.
“But it is also a record for those who have been forgotten.”
“Those who are forgotten?”
“Descendant, what did you forget? And what did you face there?”
“…”
I had no answer for Tang Jaemoon’s question. The reason was simple: I didn’t know what I had forgotten.
I remembered the life the Celestial Sword lived. I remembered the Demonic Sword’s death. I remembered everyone who had died for me.
So what was left to forget?
“It is alright if you do not remember. As I said, this test cannot be passed or failed.”
“…I can’t help but feel you’re joking with me, Senior.”
It was a rude thing to say, but Tang Jaemoon merely gave a slight nod, unfazed.
Overcome with frustration, I took a sip of the tea in front of me.
Then.
Woong-
“…!”
The moment the tea passed my lips, my body began to vibrate.
I shot to my feet, alarmed by the strange sensation. “What is this…? What did you do to me?”
Certain that Tang Jaemoon was responsible, I glared at her. Was it poison? It didn’t feel like it, but I remained on guard as the strange phenomenon continued.
“I do not wish for them to be forgotten.” She looked up at me, her eyes filled with a profound wistfulness. “Originally, I intended for Shincheol to experience this. But I am glad it was you, in his stead.”
“So… you did do something to me just now?”
“I am sorry.”
What had she done? I had no idea. My anger boiled over at being kept in the dark, but Tang Jaemoon only offered a sad smile.
“She may wish to be forgotten, but wouldn’t that be too tragic?”
“What did you do to me? Why is everyone so eager to fuck me over?”
I abandoned all pretense of respect. In this situation, formalities were the last thing on my mind. These damned spirits of the past never failed to meddle with me without explanation. As if my life wasn’t already difficult enough.
“What you swallowed, descendant, is a fragment of Oblivion.”
“…A fragment of Oblivion?”
“Originally… Shincheol was meant to consume it. But this, too, must be fate.”
Suddenly, Tang Jaemoon reached her hand out into the air.
Rumble-!
At her gesture, the white space began to crumble.
“I believe that you will be different from us.”
I knew something was about to happen as soon as she spoke.
“You’re going to disappear again after only saying your part…!”
These damned people were all the same. How utterly annoying. I lunged forward, anger driving me to grab her.
Snap-!
But the moment Tang Jaemoon snapped her fingers,
“…!”
I was whisked away to a completely different space. The white void was gone.
“Fucking hell…”
Perhaps I should have been grateful? I was intimately familiar with my new surroundings. It was impossible not to recognize this place.
It was the secret vault beneath the lake, where I had first met Tang Jaemoon. The room filled with countless Heavenly Poison Orbs and a single White Demonic Stone.
I was back.
“…”
After sending Gu Yangcheon away, Tang Jaemoon gazed at a single spot, a tumult of emotions in her heart.
It was the teacup from which Gu Yangcheon had taken a sip.
For some reason, a sorrowful expression crossed her face as she looked at it. Sitting in silence for a long moment, she finally whispered to herself.
Did I truly do the right thing?
She spoke to someone who could no longer hear her. To the lady who existed outside of any records, a person forgotten by future generations.
I’m sorry.
Even so, Tang Jaemoon offered an apology.
She knew. She knew that she should have respected her decision. After all, that was the kind of person she was.
Yet, despite knowing this, Tang Jaemoon could not quell the emotion stirring in her heart. Instead, it dug deeper, growing ever more dense.
The iron-blooded lady who single-handedly protected the Moyong Clan.
As thoughts of her filled Tang Jaemoon’s mind, she closed her eyes for a moment. Taking a calm breath, she…
“…For fuck’s sake.”
A familiar voice, one she had longed to hear, tickled her ears.
“What kind of joke was that!”
Hearing the old man’s voice, Tang Jaemoon smiled. Her first thought was that he hadn’t changed a bit.
“Hmm? Where did the brat go?”
“I sent him ahead,” Tang Jaemoon said, smiling as she looked at the fierce-faced old man. “There is something I wish to discuss with you. Just the two of us.”
She had been waiting a long time for this meeting. He was a paragon of Mount Hua, a man who prioritized saving the world over the love she had shown him. Facing this man, who was the very picture of a hero, she smiled.
Of course, Shincheol seemed deeply uncomfortable upon seeing her smile.
Gazing into his eyes, she called his name.
“Shincheol.”
“Hmm?” The old man frowned in response.
Finally, Tang Jaemoon voiced the words she had held inside for so long. There was no hesitation. Her mind had been made up long ago.
“I wanted to see you. So… badly.”
It had nearly driven her mad.
As she barely managed to force the words out,
“…Oh, um… I see…”
The anger on Shincheol’s face shifted into one of confusion and discomfort. The reason was simple.
What’s gotten into this bastard?
To Shincheol, Tang Jaemoon wasn’t a lady, but just one of the guys.