Chapter 435: Regret (1)
Translator: RaidenTL
Chapter 435: Regret (1)
My attention was completely captured by the Heavenly Poison Orbs resting beside a white stone. Tang Jaemoon watched me with a strange expression.
…Just how many are there?
At least ten of them sat glistening.
That was enough to buy out a small-to-medium-sized clan, if one were to exaggerate slightly. But it was an understandable valuation. This was a legendary elixir that even the Tang Clan could no longer produce. The Heavenly Poison Orbs didn't just contain a massive amount of condensed energy; they possessed a unique, special property.
They built immunity to poison within the user.
According to the records, consuming the elixir granted resistance to all manner of toxins. I couldn't be certain, of course, as it was only written lore. Still, this was a treasure that offered not only a staggering boost to one's Qi but also the coveted poison immunity. It was a relic of the past, something that couldn't be purchased for any amount of gold in the present day.
The Heavenly Poison Orb…
The sight of them completely filled my vision.
I didn't know what the test would entail, but passing it meant they would be mine.
Though I probably can’t use them right now, even if I get them.
My vessel was still too unstable; attempting to absorb the energy from those elixirs would likely shatter it.
But if I can’t have them, I can at least share them.
I had plenty of people around me to share with. Even barring that, their sheer value meant I had to acquire them, no matter what.
The same went for that white rock—no, the White Demonic Stone.
Ordinary Demonic Stones lose their color and power within days of being separated from a Demon's body. But that rule didn't apply to White Demonic Stones. Even now, this one maintained its color and lustrous glow, its energy seemingly still contained within.
I can’t be sure, though. I’ve never seen another White Demonic Stone.
It was just an assumption.
As I stared at the White Demonic Stone and the Heavenly Poison Orbs, a thought crossed my mind.
Yes, for fuck’s sake… this is what a secret vault should be like.
The sight moved me almost to tears.
[Shincheol’s disciple… You are crying?]
“Yes… They’re tears of joy. Please don’t worry.”
[Ah… I see.]
My mind flashed back to all the other secret vaults I’d been in. The first belonged to the Golden Sky Yeon Clan, and the second was in the Heavenly Dragon Academy. It was hard to say I’d gained anything from those two, considering all the bullshit I went through.
…But this one… this one brings joy back into my life. This is a true miracle.
This was how all secret vaults should be. That damned Golden Sky Yeon Clan. Now that I thought about it, both previous vaults were connected to Yeon Il-Cheon.
That son of a bitch. That evil bastard. So what if he was a regressor? How dare he try to kill me? Especially while I’m busy cleaning up the mess he and his ilk left behind.
My resentment towards the previous regressor grew even stronger.
Tang Jaemoon hadn't even promised me anything yet, but it already felt like the Heavenly Poison Orbs were mine.
“Senior…”
[Yes.]
“Would you mind if I bowed to you?”
[…What?]
Tang Jaemoon made a rather disgusted expression. Seeing her reaction, I nodded to myself, deciding I probably shouldn't.
Yes, I’d gone a bit too far with that one.
“It was a joke.”
[Shincheol’s disciple… unfortunately, you seem to have inherited his peculiarities.]
“You know that’s a serious insult, right…?”
Being compared to that old man, of all people, genuinely offended me. She seemed to find my response amusing, however, as Tang Jaemoon began to giggle behind her hand.
So she could laugh, too, huh? It was unexpected, given her cold exterior. Had she opened up a little? Feeling a bit bolder, I decided to ask a question I’d held back before.
“Um, Senior?”
[Yes.]
“It’s… not terribly important, but why did you leave that thing next to the Heavenly Poison Orbs?”
[?]
Tang Jaemoon turned to look at the White Demonic Stone.
[Ah.]
She clapped her hands once, as if suddenly remembering it was there.
[It’s a trophy. That came from a Demon I hunted. I put it there to brag to Shincheol when he finally visits.]
“…”
Her reply was delivered in a slightly high-pitched, proud tone. Unexpectedly, it was a rather cute reason. I’d assumed there was some profound purpose.
But no, it was just so she could boast…
I’m truly speechless.
I barely managed to stifle a laugh.
And she said she hunted the Demon herself…
My thoughts turned to the Azure Dragon River as I gazed at the stone. That river was formed as an aftermath of Tang Jaemoon slaying a White Demon.
She has that much power in her fragile-looking body?
It was a thought I had every time I met the heroes of the past. Each one seemed, at the very least, comparable to the current Three Venerables in strength.
Just… how strong were they, really?
And more importantly, how did they fail to defeat the Blood Demon when they so greatly outnumbered him? It was a question that nagged at me occasionally. The tales of the past and the reality of the present… the disparity between them made me ponder deeply.
But for now… those Heavenly Poison Orbs are what matter.
The White Demonic Stone suddenly seemed far less significant. But such was life.
Shaa…
“You shut your mouth.”
The Red Water Snake had poked its head out again, completely misreading the mood. I shoved it back into my pocket.
[Shincheol’s disciple.]
“Yes, Senior.”
I lifted my head at the sound of Tang Jaemoon’s voice. She studied me with a strange expression.
[…Your attitude seems a bit different from before… Am I mistaken?]
Had my attitude changed? Of course it had.
Unlike the bastards from the previous secret vaults who gave me nothing but trouble, here was someone actually offering proper rewards. I’d be more than willing to bow to her a hundred times if she asked. What did pride matter anyway?
A person who can feed you is both your master and your God.
That was the only way to survive in this life of hardship.
Ignoring the fact that Tang Jaemoon had subtly backed away a step, I asked the question I’d been waiting to pose.
“Please tell me, Senior. What must I do to pass the test?”
[…]
She had said I needed to pass a test to claim the Heavenly Poison Orbs. I was ready to begin at any moment.
She said it was a test prepared for Elder Shin, right?
I wondered why she’d gone to the trouble of creating such a test for him.
But I guess everything has a reason.
I trusted she had her purposes. Still, one thing nagged at my conscience.
…Can I really take all of this when it was meant for Elder Shin?
If everything I had consumed so far was intended for him, was it right for me to take it all? Elder Shin might have said it was fine, but I was the one who felt uneasy about it. A sense of guilt welled up within me for some reason.
Even so, I couldn't let this opportunity slip away. I had vowed to do anything to prepare for the coming disaster. Because of that, I had to consume every resource I could get my hands on, even those not meant for me. Time was running short. I reminded myself of that once more.
Besides… Elder Shin wouldn’t have been able to use these anyway. It would have been right to leave them here if he had successfully resurrected or possessed a body, as his allies had planned. But Elder Shin never appeared in my past life. That meant one thing.
Their plan failed.
Whatever they had attempted, it didn't succeed.
Therefore,
I’ll consume these in his stead and clean up the mess all of you left behind.
I’ll just have to hunt down both the Heavenly Demon and the Blood Demon.
Speaking of which, that’s what Elder Shin had told me. He said that if I was going to stop a worldly disaster, I should stop the Blood Demon along the way. At the time, I thought he was spouting nonsense. But now, thinking about it, I was in a situation where I actually had to do it.
That old man, did he foresee this from the very beginning?
Perhaps Elder Shin knew something like this would happen. That was the thought that crossed my mind.
Then…
[Before you begin your test…]
Tang Jaemoon spoke again.
[There is one thing I would like to ask the disciple.]
“Of course.”
Something she wanted to ask me? What could it be?
As I stared at her with curiosity,
[Have you ever experienced regret?]
“Pardon…?”
It was an extremely random question. Yet, it struck straight to the heart of the matter.
Had I ever regretted anything? Me?
Of course I have.
It was almost a funny question. My entire life was filled with regret; how could I not have?
“I have. To the point of exhaustion.”
I shouldn’t have lived my life the way I did. I shouldn’t have done the things I did. I shouldn’t have said those words. I shouldn’t have left you, and I shouldn’t have used you as an excuse for my actions.
Though I only pondered for a moment, countless regrets flashed through my mind.
Tang Jaemoon looked rather shocked after seeing my expression. Just how terrible did I look for her to react like that? Unfortunately, I had no way to check.
After a short silence, she continued.
[…Have you ever tried to overcome those regrets?]
“Overcome my regrets?”
I couldn’t help but let out a derisive smirk. It was a blatant, mocking reaction. My mistake. I quickly wiped the smile from my face and answered carefully.
“…I don’t think regret is something one can overcome.”
[Then what is it, for you?]
“A burden one must carry. That’s how I see regret.”
[…]
Regret was a burden. It forced a person to live in the past instead of the present. It hunted you, endlessly. Overcoming it? No, such a thing was impossible. It was something you had to bear—a memory that could never be forgotten. I was constantly reminded of my past, yet I continued to walk forward, restless.
Is this conversation part of the test?
That was the only thought in my mind now. I suppressed my emotions and stared intently at Tang Jaemoon.
…Huh?
My eyes widened slightly as I registered her expression. For some reason, she looked sad.
[…Then, are you walking the correct path while carrying your regrets with you?]
I was about to answer immediately. However…
“…”
I couldn't.
I knew perfectly well that saying 'yes' would be a lie. I couldn't bring myself to utter it, no matter how hard I tried.
Tang Jaemoon’s expression grew more profound as she gazed at me. Then, she spoke in a heavier tone than before.
[Your test will begin now…]
Her words snapped me to full alertness. It was rather sudden, but I was glad to finally start. I focused my senses, unsure of what was coming.
I watched her nervously as she spoke in a calm, measured tone.
[There is no pass or fail in the test you are about to take.]
“Huh? What do you mean…?”
No passing or failing? Then how would the test be judged?
[And your thoughts after the test… they won’t matter, either.]
“Senior?”
Tang Jaemoon was saying things I couldn't comprehend. My nervousness grew with each word. Every time someone started speaking in riddles like this…
I ended up getting fucked over.
A chilling thought. I hurriedly tried to call out to her again.
[I just hope that you make a different decision than I did.]
But before I could speak, Tang Jaemoon reached her hand out towards me.
Then…
Craaaack-!
“What!?”
The space around us began to shatter.
Goddammit, I knew something like this would happen…!
I tried to leap away from the sudden upheaval, but the distortion had already gripped the entire area. As my vision shook violently, I heard Tang Jaemoon’s voice.
[…When you get the chance…]
Her tone was soft, carrying a faint emotion. Was it sadness? Or yearning? It was hard to tell, as I didn't really know her.
[Please deliver this message to Shincheol.]
I tried to say something, but no sound escaped my lips. As the world crumbled around me, only her voice echoed.
[I wanted to see him. I really… really wanted to see him. And… I…]
I couldn't hear the end of her yearning words. The crushing pressure intensified, and I lost consciousness.
When my eyes opened again…
“Hugh…!”
I was lying in the center of an unknown pit.