Chapter 394: I Don't Feel So Good (1)
Translator: RaidenTL
Chapter 394: I Don't Feel So Good (1)
Mi Hyoran cherished dreams.
Unlike the twisted, ever-shifting nature of reality, her dreams offered glimpses into a world brimming with hope and light. Even the nightmares—agonizing as they were—often showed her the happiest moments of her past.
Yet these dreams were bittersweet. They granted her a fleeting taste of joy, only to snatch it away the moment she woke, leaving a hollow ache behind.
This was one of those dreams. Mi Hyoran knew it, of course. The friend standing before her—the one she could no longer see in the waking world—existed only here, in this fragile realm of memory.
-It’s a flower!
-Kyaaa! A bee!
-Hyoran! Biyeon’s running away!
-Cheonhee! Put that down!
…
It wasn’t a scene she particularly wanted to revisit, yet Mi Hyoran found herself unable to look away.
-Hyoran?
Amid the cheerful chaos, the white-haired girl approached, her face lit by a radiant smile—the same brilliant expression that could melt even Mi Hyoran’s legendary coldness. That was this girl’s power. Perhaps it was why even that man had tried to smile in her presence.
-Hyoran! Look, a flower!
Mi Hyoran didn’t understand her. The plant was clearly no ordinary bloom, but seeing the girl’s delighted expression, she accepted it anyway.
-Young Lady Mi! That’s a poisonous herb! Drop it at once!
A woman with jet-black hair and an icy aura shouted from nearby. Dressed in light blue, she wore a cold expression but hid a fiery spirit.
It was the White Phoenix, Moyong Biyeon.
The white-haired girl turned toward her, and Moyong Biyeon immediately broke into a panicked run.
-Are you insane?! Wait! Don’t bring the bees over hereeee!
-It’s a flower!
-I know that! Stop coming this wayyy!
Mi Hyoran smiled behind her fan. The scene was like a silly play, yet it filled her with an odd sense of stability.
She glanced at the white flower in her hand—the one the girl had given her, the one Biyeon claimed was toxic. But Mi Hyoran knew it wasn’t poisonous. She was certain the white-haired girl would never give her such a thing.
Gently, she tucked the flower into her pocket.
I’ll ask its name later.
Maybe she found it beautiful; she even considered growing it herself someday.
Mi Hyoran took in the scenery calmly—the vast, cloudless sky, the sprawling forest, butterflies dancing on the breeze, the distant chirping of crickets. Who would believe such tranquility existed in the Abyss? Even she could scarcely believe it.
How had she ended up in this place, feared by all? Yet she felt no fear then. Was it youth? Or was it because she was with others she trusted? Likely the latter.
Back then, she had believed everything would be fine as long as they were together. It was a time she allowed her immaturity to take hold—a stark contrast to who she was now. She dreamed of this past because she missed it.
And that was why it saddened her. She knew she could never see this again. The present Mi Hyoran was aware this was a dream, and so she tried to absorb every detail. It was one of the few welcoming visions in her current life.
The white-haired girl, who had been chasing Moyong Biyeon, suddenly turned and walked back toward Mi Hyoran.
“Hyoran,” she called. Her pinkish-purple eyes shimmered like gemstones, and her white hair swayed gently. “Are you happy?”
Mi Hyoran froze. Her own shocked expression stared back from within the girl’s eyes.
“What do you…”
“I’m happy as long as Hyoran is happy. So… are you happy?”
Is this because it’s a dream? Strange emotions swirled in Mi Hyoran’s chest, leaving her speechless.
Was she happy? She could have simply said no, but first she had to consider—what was happiness? Had this question surfaced in her dream because she’d been pondering it lately? And from her friend’s mouth, no less.
After a moment of silence, Mi Hyoran finally replied.
“I’m… trying my best to be.”
Then she asked in return, “Were you happy?”
The girl smiled but didn’t answer. Mi Hyoran knew she wouldn’t. This fabricated world was born from Mi Hyoran’s own longing. Just as she set aside her disappointment and gazed back at the scenery, the girl spoke again.
“It’s not your fault, so you can be happy.”
“…!”
Mi Hyoran stiffened. Something felt off—too real for a dream. As she reached a trembling hand toward the girl, a distant voice broke through.
“Captain.”
And with that, Mi Hyoran awoke.
A dark ceiling greeted her. Night had not yet ended. After checking the time, she rose slowly. Though she had just woken, her eyes were already sharp and clear—a habit born from her need to always appear composed. Dizziness within had to be masked by alertness without. That was the mindset required of a merchant association captain.
What was I dreaming about?
It felt important, but the memory slipped away… A flicker of disappointment rose, but she suppressed it and turned to the side.
“What is it?”
A man clad in black, face masked, knelt on one knee before her. It was Mujin, one of her escorts.
“…A guest has come to see you.”
“At this hour?”
“Yes.”
Mi Hyoran frowned. An unannounced visitor so late was not only rude—she despised people who acted without forethought. Yet she showed no anger. Mujin knew her well; he wouldn’t have woken her without good reason. If he’d judged it disrespectful but still came to her, the guest must be important. Understanding this, Mi Hyoran asked no more.
“Where is this guest?”
“…Waiting outside.”
Mi Hyoran nodded and began to walk. After straightening her appearance, she stepped out to see who had come. Who could it be? Only a handful of people would visit so late, and most of them Mujin would have handled himself. That left her genuinely curious.
Creak—
She stepped outside. In the inn’s backyard, a small lake reflected the shimmering moon—a serene sight. But she wasn’t alone.
“…Ah?”
Mi Hyoran reacted the instant she saw the other figure. Shadows obscured the person’s face, but she knew immediately who it was.
“Ahaha.”
The visitor laughed—a uniquely cheerful, high-pitched sound.
“How…?”
That laugh confirmed Mi Hyoran’s suspicion. It was someone she knew.
As Mi Hyoran stood stunned, the guest walked forward, awkwardly scratching her cheek. The shadows receded, revealing a woman with wavy black hair, dressed in light blue robes.
As a martial artist, she had aged far less than Mi Hyoran. The sight brought a mix of envy and nostalgia—she looked exactly as she had in the past.
“Young Lady Mi.”
Mi Hyoran’s pupils trembled at the title she hadn’t heard in decades.
“It’s been a while.” The woman greeted her awkwardly, shoulders stiff.
This nervous figure was none other than a blood member of the Moyong Clan, a woman who had once been her rival for the same man’s affection: the White Ripple Sword, Moyong Biyeon.
Moyong Biyeon stared at the statue-like Mi Hyoran, then spoke again, her voice unsteady. “Could we… talk?”
After a moment of silence, Mi Hyoran gave a slight nod. The two went back inside.
* * *
“I’m sorry.”
The apology came suddenly, as I was eating breakfast. I glanced up at the girl—short black hair, black outfit—as I bit into a dumpling. It was Peng Ah-hee.
“Uoughwa?”
“…Sorry for interrupting your meal. Maybe finish eating first…?”
I swallowed everything in my mouth. “What’s this about? Why apologize out of nowhere?”
Avoiding my eyes, Peng Ah-hee explained, “I heard… something happened between you and my Lord.”
“Oh.” She means yesterday.
She must have heard about last night’s incident with the Lord of the Peng Clan—the Dao Emperor.
But I tilted my head. “I wasn’t really involved, though.”
If anything, it was Gu Yeonseo and the White Ripple Sword who’d borne the brunt. I hadn’t had much issue. Still, Peng Ah-hee wore a regretful expression.
“I already apologized to Young Lady Gu as well… I’m sorry.”
So she’d visited Gu Yeonseo too. It seemed Peng Ah-hee was cleaning up after her father’s mess.
She’s so normal… How did that old man turn out like that?
It was a mystery how the Dao Emperor’s children were so reasonable while he was… not. Peng Ah-hee was the most well-adjusted; Peng Woojin wasn’t exactly normal, but at least he didn’t share his father’s vile temperament.
“I’ll say it again—no need to apologize to me.”
“…Okay.” Her expression didn’t brighten, but there wasn’t much else I could do.
“He… He isn’t usually like this. He’s gotten worse lately…”
She seemed to be making excuses for him.
But I understood. If the Dao Emperor had been in the same state as when I broke off our clans’ engagement, last night wouldn’t have ended so calmly. Something must have happened to him recently—not that I was particularly curious. It was their problem, not mine. I just needed to avoid further conflict. If I got involved with him again, I might lose my temper too.
Having met many people like him, I knew my patience wouldn’t last. Who knew what I’d do if I tangled with the Dao Emperor again? Picking a fight with one of the Four Noble Clan Lords was trouble I didn’t need. Best to steer clear.
In that sense, you could say the Dao Emperor was like dung to me. You avoid it because it’s dirty, not because you’re scared.
“Don’t worry about it. Just eat.”
“…”
“I can tell you haven’t been eating.”
“It’s fine if I skip a few—”
“You never know when you’ll collapse like that. Sit. Eat.”
I meant it. I’d seen too of people die because they couldn’t fill their stomachs. Starving yourself when you have the choice to eat is just foolish.
Peng Ah-hee still hesitated, so Tang Soyeol and Wi Seol-Ah, sitting nearby, pulled her down and made her sit.
Namgung Bi-ah was still asleep, and Moyong Hi-ah hadn’t arrived yet. I’d need to see her soon—it was about time to infuse her with heat again. But she knew the schedule better than I did; wouldn’t she come to me? And if she didn’t… would I have to go to her? I really didn’t want to. The White Heavenly Sword was surely hovering around her.
Sigh… Why do these old men give me so much trouble?
For some reason, it felt like all the Lords of the Four Noble Clans had it out for me.
Namgung Jin was different now, but the White Heavenly Sword was literally hunting me, and the Dao Emperor’s glare left a bad taste. Comparatively, maybe the Poison King was… the least problematic?
Just as that thought crossed my mind, Tang Soyeol—as if sensing it—spoke up brightly.
“Oh, right, Master Gu.”
“…Yes?”
I stared, slightly caught off guard. She smiled her usual bright smile.
“About our trip to Sichuan.”
Oh, right, Sichuan. Good.
We did need to plan for that soon.
But before I could reply, she added, “Because of that, my father said he’d like to meet you. Are you free today?”
My mouth went dry.
She meant the Poison King. …The Poison King wants to see me?
A chill ran down my spine as Tang Soyeol continued cheerfully, “He said he’ll treat you to a meal! We know a really tasty place!”
“…Oh…”
There was nothing inherently strange about the Poison King offering me food, but his title alone was enough to set my nerves on edge.
I’m overthinking this, right?
I could only pray that I was.