Chapter 381: Good Work (2)
Translator: RaidenTL
Chapter 381: Good Work (2)
“I know.”
I had to suppress my shock at Father’s response.
Yet, I had expected it. I’d always believed he was the only one who knew my mother’s whereabouts. I met his gaze and pressed further.
“…Then where is she? Where is my mother?”
I needed to find her. It wasn’t just a child’s longing; all my current problems were inextricably linked to her. I had learned of the beast residing within my body, and that my mother was called the Second Calamity of the world—the Ruler of Ten Thousand Worlds.
But the most crucial thing I needed to understand was related to the Celestial Sword.
Just before the Celestial Sword was about to vanish from this world forever, it was my mother who held me, her voice warm and gentle as she spoke to me. I could never forget that moment, even if I tried. Her voice is etched into my memory.
She told me to absorb the Celestial Sword, and I obeyed. It was possible, even likely, that she knew how I could meet the sword again.
“If you know anything, please tell me.”
“…”
Father didn’t answer. He just continued to stare at me, his face an unreadable mask. But by focusing on his eyes, I detected a faint reaction—a slight tremor in his pupils.
He was affected.
I waited patiently for his response. After a long silence, he finally spoke.
“…Why do you want to know?”
I frowned. Why? The question itself felt absurd.
“Is it so strange for a child to want to know their mother’s whereabouts?”
“…”
“…I’m not asking out of simple curiosity. I have the right to know, eventually.”
How long had it been since I’d raised my voice to Father? It was the first time since my regression, and I’d rarely done it in my past life. But in this situation, it felt justified. This was something I had never known, even up to the day I died in my previous life. Whether my mother was truly alive, and whether she was connected to my current struggles, I had to know.
“Surely you can tell me if you know.”
My impatience grew with his continued silence, fueling my frustration.
“My Lord…”
“What will you do after you learn of your mother’s whereabouts?” Father’s sudden question gave me pause, but I answered immediately.
“I will go.”
“To where your mother is?”
“Yes.”
I didn’t lie. I gave him an honest answer.
“…That is not a place you can go as you please.”
“Why? Is it because it’s in the Abyss?”
“…”
“If not that, is it because I must prioritize becoming the Young Lord? Or if that’s not it either…” I looked closely at my father’s face, which seemed clearer today than ever before. “…Is it because Mother is a Calamity?”
…!
The moment the words left my mouth—
Cgggk-!
An explosive heat erupted from Father’s body. A powerful wave of Qi nearly forced me back a step, but I held my ground. Not today. Today, I would not be intimidated.
Father’s gaze turned razor-sharp, the heat around him intensifying. Was he frowning? Was this his anger? I couldn’t tell; I was so unused to his expressions.
“…How are you aware of that?”
He was referring to me calling my mother a Calamity. So, he knew of her identity as well.
“I heard it from—”
Swoosh-!
Before I could finish, Father unleashed a dense, overwhelming pressure that made my heart sink.
“Who. Who dared to tell you that?”
…Damn.
He was furious. The heat radiating from him was as intense as when he’d faced the White Heavenly Sword. Why was he so angry? Was it a problem that I’d been told about my mother?
“…That’s not what’s important here.”
“No, it is. Tell me.”
“…”
He wasn’t going to let this go. I had no choice but to answer.
“…I heard it from the World Tree, who was once the ruler of a world.”
“…”
Father’s pupils shook at my answer. The World Tree had told me that both he and my mother had visited it in the past. His reaction confirmed it.
“But… how do you know that? Did you actually…” His large hands gripped my shoulders. “Did you visit that place?”
“If you mean the prison where the World Tree is held, then yes.”
His expression darkened further. Why? Why did he look like that?
As my confusion grew, he asked, “You overcoming your wall… Was it also because of that place?” He was asking if my early breakthrough to the Fusion Realm was due to the Abyss.
“It played a part.”
It had certainly been a factor. The time I’d spent in that false world had allowed me to reach the Fusion Realm much earlier than I’d originally hoped. But Father’s expression only grew more severe.
“No one can enter that world willingly. How did you manage to set foot there?”
“…Through a coincidence.”
“How… just how long were you in there?”
He even knew about the distorted flow of time there.
I thought back. How long had I been there? I’d stopped counting after three or four years. After a while, it had seemed pointless.
“I didn’t stay for too long.”
My answer didn’t convince him. Why was he so serious? Time spent there didn’t matter once I returned. I’d felt hunger and thirst, but I’d hunted Demons for food and drank their blood. If a Demon’s blood was poisonous and I couldn’t cleanse it with my Qi, I simply endured the pain. As long as I didn’t die, it was fine. In the end, it had allowed me to reach the Fusion Realm and return with all my enlightenment intact. What was the problem? I couldn’t understand his adverse reaction.
But I had other questions. “I heard that you and Mother once visited that place as well.”
“Did she tell you that?”
She? The way he referred to the World Tree bothered me strangely.
“Yes.”
“…She dared to tell you such a needless story.”
I paused, hearing the anger in his voice. The World Tree was once the ruler of the Central Plains, yet Father spoke with a fury that suggested utter disregard.
“Are you refusing to tell me because Mother truly is a Calamity sent to this world?”
“If that were the case, what would you do?”
“Even if it’s true, nothing changes. I need to know.”
“…”
Father stared at me in silence for a long moment. Just when I thought he might finally answer…
“I refuse.”
…!
I gritted my teeth. After all this, he still refused?
“Why…? I think I deserve some answers after everything I’ve been through.”
I wondered if some kind of Shackle prevented him from speaking, but I doubted it. It was just a hunch, but my hunches were rarely wrong.
As my composure began to crack…
“How many regrets have you had in your life?” Father suddenly asked an unexpected question.
“…Regrets?”
I was taken aback. Regrets? How many had I had?
“A lot.”
I answered with a hollow smile. There was no point in thinking about it. My life was full of regrets. So many that I grew tired of them, yet they kept coming.
Why was he asking this?
“As Lord of the Gu—… No, in my life, I have had only a few regrets.”
The randomness of his confession was jarring. Not many regrets? I couldn’t help but feel a pang of jealousy.
Unaware of my thoughts, he continued, “I lived mostly without looking back. I saw no point in dwelling on the past. But are you aware of what those few regrets are?”
Father’s regrets?
“…I don’t know.”
How could I?
When I answered carefully, he responded as if he’d been waiting. “My regrets are about you and your mother.”
…!
His words struck my chest like a dagger. I hadn’t expected that.
His regrets were about Mother and me? How could he say that to my face?
“How could you—!”
Just as I was about to shout in anger—
“I shouldn’t have brought you to your mother that day.”
His words stole my breath. I hadn’t expected this. ‘That day’ could only mean the day my mother disappeared, devoured by the Abyss.
“That’s—”
“I shouldn’t have sent your mother away like that. And I shouldn’t have let you stay there just because she asked me to. That is my only regret.”
A strange feeling enveloped me.
“…Mother’s request?”
And he said he ‘sent her away’? That made it sound as if she had left willingly.
“…”
“You brought me there that day because Mother asked you to?”
Father didn’t respond, but his silence was an affirmation.
What kind of nonsense was this? I remember that day vividly. It still haunts me. A winter night, my hands and ears red with cold. My mother’s hand on my cheek as my consciousness faded. Father standing before me, looking down. The strange gate to the Abyss opening behind my mother, and the tears streaming from her eyes. How could I forget? That was the day my life turned into a living hell.
Until now, I had never doubted that Father was the one who brought me there. But it was my mother’s request all along? I never knew.
“I shouldn’t have let you see her in her last moments just because she asked me to.” The moonlight cast a shadow over Father’s face, hiding his expression.
If what he said was true…
“Then why are you only telling me this now?” The incident was in the distant past. The time for telling me had long since passed.
I had lived my whole life believing my mother had ended up that way because of the damned burdens of our clan and Father’s decisions. I had been afraid of him ever since that day, convinced he had shown me that sight on purpose—as a warning that I would share her fate if I refused my role.
But if that wasn’t true…
“…Shouldn’t you have told me this much earlier?”
He was far too late. Whether his words were true or not, that event had irrevocably changed my life.
“Why did you never tell me until now? I don’t know about other things, but if you had at least told me this, then—”
“Then, do you think things would have changed?”
“…”
I had no answer. I couldn’t guarantee anything would have been different.
Even so…
“…Did you want me to resent you?”
That was exactly what had happened in my past life. My life had crumbled, and I had sunk to the bottom. Did Father not know that would be my fate?
Father took a few heavy breaths after my emotionally charged words.
“Whether they are human or any other living thing,” he said, his voice low and audible, “when beings are pushed into situations they cannot endure… they are bound to look for someone to resent.”
His words made my head spin.
“And if they need such a person, wouldn’t it be better for them to resent their incompetent father, rather than a world they cannot even properly confront?”
“…”
It hurt. I didn’t know where or why, but it hurt. This wasn’t what I wanted to hear from him. I just wanted to know where my mother was. I hadn’t expected this sudden confession.
“…It’s contradictory.”
“It is.”
“But even if you were being generous, it isn’t fair that you only watched me suffer afterward.”
It was my fault for breaking down under the pain, but it was also Father’s fault for leaving me in that state without any support.
“Are you saying you wanted me to resent you for that, too?”
My words scattered into the breeze. It felt as if all the emotions I had piled up were pouring out at once, creating a storm. Where had these feelings been hiding, only to reveal themselves now? I thought I had successfully erased such pointless emotions, but clearly, I had failed.
I began to wonder… if Father had helped me when my life was spiraling downward, would I have really changed? Since it never happened, I would never know. But a part of me wished it had. And if that wish had come true, I would have felt sorry for my present self, who never got to experience it.
So, please…
“Yes.”
I didn’t want Father to look at me with such eyes any longer.
“That, too, is one of my regrets.”
I wanted him to look down at me with his usual cold, sharp gaze.
“I knew I shouldn’t have done such a thing. It is my fault that I never reached out my hand to you.”
Stop looking at me with those bitter eyes.
“I’m sorry.”
“…”
“Because of that, I couldn’t send you to your mother. This is my lifelong regret.”
After this unexpected apology, the emotions I had been barely holding back finally broke free. It would have been easier if he had said he had no choice, or that he was too busy. But he didn’t. That only made me feel worse.
I hid my face with a shaking hand. Not because tears were falling, but because I couldn’t bear to look into Father’s eyes. I would have felt better if he hadn’t apologized, even if I had to resent him for the rest of my life.
How had things come to this?
…Ah.
I realized I did not deserve the apology Father had given me.
Was it because of all the trouble I’d caused? Or simply because he was my father?
No.
That wasn’t it.
The reason was much simpler.
At the very least…
Really, at the very least…
He should not have apologized to the son who killed him.
A memory I had sealed deep in my heart surged to the surface.
-Good work.
I was reminded of Father’s last words, and his compliment from earlier as well.
That’s right. Father’s last words.
In my past life, Father was the only person besides Wi Seol-Ah to injure the Heavenly Demon. He met his end not long after.
The Central Plains believed the Heavenly Demon had killed him, but that was not the truth.
Father did not die by the Heavenly Demon’s hand.
It was I who ended my father’s life.