Chapter 65
Chapter 65
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 65
Chapter Title: Rural Life (1)
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"Hold on, Dowon. Stand there. We'll go ahead and film. Walk over when we signal."
"Yes."
The camera crew ran off into the distance. Soon they signaled, panting, and I trudged forward step by step, pretending to struggle with my luggage.
Every road has an end. When we reached the rural house decked out with cameras everywhere, I dragged my bags over and sat on the porch.
'Looks like everyone's still asleep.'
The lights were on, though. I set my luggage aside and scanned the yard where we'd do the cooking.
'Is this where we cook?'
Ah, because it's 'Rural Life', they want us lighting a fire and setting up a cauldron?
'But these days, even rural folks use high-tech gadgets more.'
Real country people might find it funny. They could mistake mountain village homes for having no gas at all. They shouldn't have named it 'Rural Life' in the first place.
'Whatever, my opinion doesn't matter.'
It was just a concept, probably.
'They didn't think that deeply. They just want to see the cast cooking over firewood.'
That part would definitely be entertaining.
I started by rinsing rice and soaking it in water. Then I gathered kindling and built up the fire.
'Rice for breakfast, or bread?'
The flames flickered. A fan nearby caught my eye, but I turned on the portable fan I'd brought.
'Good thing I prepared ahead. Always be prepared. Broadcasting station bastards.'
With the fan on, the fire caught beautifully.
I glanced back slightly. The cameramen were filming me with awkward expressions.
"What would you like?"
I smiled brightly as I spoke.
"There's kimchi. Oh, and leftover rice over there!"
So, kimchi fried rice for breakfast. Luckily, there was plenty of cooking oil.
I looked at main PD Lee Ji-yong and said,
"Where do we get onions and green onions?"
Lee Ji-yong blinked and replied,
"The vegetable garden over there."
"Can I just dig them up?"
"Yes."
I opened my trunk and pulled out dried anchovies. Then I poured water into the cauldron.
'Egg drop soup?'
I set the cauldron on the fire and added more firewood.
"I'll head to the garden."
That meant follow me with the cameras.
The PD gave a signal, and a few cameras trailed after me. I grabbed a hoe and quickly headed to the garden, pulling up green onions and digging onions.
I looked at the camera and said,
"Plenty, right?"
For feeding the three beauties today.
I returned to the set with arms full of green onions and onions. The fire must've been weak; the water in the cauldron showed no sign of boiling.
'Damn...'
I added more wood and prepped the veggies. Fortunately, the dishes were all clean. As I skillfully chopped the onions and green onions, the crew let out impressed groans.
'What, over something like this...'
You guys really had no idea I could cook.
'Not my problem.'
Finally, the anchovy broth boiled vigorously. I added seasonings and closed the lid.
"There's kimchi, so fried rice? But the three beauties probably don't eat much..."
That's when Lee Ji-yong chimed in.
"No. Make a lot."
"Won't leftovers be a problem?"
"They'll eat it all, probably."
Really?
I thought of Yumi, who hadn't touched her lunchbox. That senior of hers supposedly loved kimchi fried rice without meat?
'Whatever, if there's extra, I'll eat it.'
I rinsed some aged kimchi lightly and set it aside, then lit another fire.
'Ah, seriously. Why not use a stove?'
I wouldn't do this even camping. Who knew I'd miss my portable burner this much.
I rinsed the cauldron lid and put it on. Poured in oil and started frying garlic first. That's when I added the ingredients one by one.
'Ah, they're coming.'
A bunch of cameras rushed in. Trailing behind, three sparkling cast members appeared slowly in the lighting glow.
I smiled brightly first. The three spotted the food smell and me, jumping in surprise.
Yumi shrieked.
"Kyaaah! What, what's this! Why is it Dowon!"
Why's she so shocked?
I gave a nod of greeting, then bowed to the eldest, Yoon Mi-hyun.
"Hello. I'm Cha Dowon from Zenith."
"Oh, right. But what's that?"
I added tuna and rice to the kimchi stir-fry and crumbled it in.
"You haven't had breakfast, right?"
"Caw! Caw! Rice? Is it rice?"
Another cast member, Eun Seong-ju, let out a crow-like scream.
"Nice to meet you. Cha Dowon here. Yes. Kimchi fried rice."
"Oh my god! Senior! Look at that! It's rice!"
Huh?
All three had sparkling eyes. No. Why?
"How long's it been since real rice?"
"Oh my god! Rice!"
"Rice! We're saved!"
Why are they like this?
"Really hungry?"
"Starving!"
"I could chew iron right now!"
I smiled awkwardly and glanced at Lee Ji-yong. Arms crossed, he said,
"We did feed you."
Yumi replied,
"We're just..."
Eun Seong-ju continued,
"Terrible cooks. We leave charcoal everywhere."
Wow.
Yumi shook her head.
"Either raw,"
"Too salty, spicy, or sour."
Oh dear.
"We ate to survive."
"Still hungry. I could chew wood."
"Honestly, wood would taste better than our cooking."
Lee Ji-yong chuckled.
'Just how bad was it?'
They looked so pitiful, eating awful food just to live.
'Feels like looking at malnourished kids.'
Yumi stared at me with shining eyes. In casual clothes, Korea's top singer looked surprisingly natural.
'I'd only seen her perfect side.'
Last time was stage outfit, maybe. Straw hat suited her fresh vibe.
"Make lots of fried rice."
"Yes. I'll use all the leftover rice."
"Oh my god, the smell!"
The nationally famous singer, actress, and veteran actress huddled together, staring only at me.
'Feels like a medieval orphanage director.'
I smiled brightly and said,
"The soup is egg drop with green onions."
The respected actress Yoon Mi-hyun plopped straight onto the ground.
"Uwaa uwaa! Real food! Actual edible food is being made!"
"Teacher, stay still!"
Just how bad was it?
'No choice.'
I kept my hands moving.
"Coming right up."
A kitchen shines when it's busy. I tossed in ingredients swiftly. Maybe because of the three pairs of sparkling eyes. A sense of mission burned to make it faster and tastier.
Food was almost ready. As I looked around for plates to serve, Yumi brought a clean mixing bowl.
"Here! Right now!"
"Not on plates?"
"We'll mix it all! This isn't the time for pretty plating!"
Like war orphans starved four days. Whatever they want. I scooped steaming kimchi fried rice into the bowl as ordered.
"Teacher, rice!"
"Rice!"
The three sat in the yard, shoveling frantically.
Oh my god.
The cameras captured every bit.
"Th-there's soup too..."
They ignored me, eating silently.
Oh dear. They must've been famished.
"Eat slowly."
I ladled egg drop soup into bowls and set a table alone, placing the soup bowls.
"For now, leave that and sit here."
Their spoons stopped at once.
The three looked at each other like creaky robots, checking themselves, then shuffled over to the table I'd set.
'Oh...'
Already half gone at a glance. Yoon Mi-hyun gulped egg drop soup, then stuck out her tongue from the heat.
'What a scene.'
No time for side dishes. And plenty more to do.
I quietly scraped the scorched rice from the pan.
'This is a delicacy too. Want some?'
As I hesitated, Yumi said,
"I, I want that too."
"Shall I?"
"Yeah! Thanks! Really thanks!"
I smirked, scraped the scorched rice, and delivered it in another bowl. Yoon Mi-hyun cheered.
"Hey, what's your name?"
"Cha Dowon."
"Oh my god. Such a handsome guy who cooks too."
I smiled, brought water. Yoon Mi-hyun looked at me like a savior.
"Really thankful. First proper rice in a week."
"What've you been eating?"
"Sour, gritty soybean paste stew?"
Vinegar or what? Why sour?
"Half-burnt egg patties?"
Even fried eggs have limits when burnt.
"We three can't cook."
"We're eat-out people."
"Can't even boil ramen."
Sure, anyone can suck at cooking. The issue is...
'This shoot's brutal.'
'Rural Life' chief director Lee Ji-yong.
Famous for every show succeeding. But nicknamed 'Devil.'
'He loves seeing cast suffer.'
No threat to life or health, though.
'Probably cast them knowing they're bad cooks.'
Even before regression, the three were pathetic. Clams exploding hard while grilling, burning potato rice.
'Poor things.'
So pitiful.
'I'll feed them well today at least.'
I refilled the egg drop soup. Yoon Mi-hyun drank it bowl and all, warm, and said,
"Still a lot left?"
I eyed the cauldron.
"Yes."
"Don't toss if it cools. Fridge it. We gotta survive here another week."
Top actress with five fox lead awards, like that—my eyes stung.
"Uh, Dowon."
"Yes."
"You came at the right time. Perfect timing."
Looked desperate, like grasping a rope from heaven.
'Well, I'm happy to be here too. Lots to gain.'
I smiled, scanned around. Cameras everywhere, rural house set all in view.
"Sh-should I wash dishes?"
Yumi jumped up.
"You cooked, how could we make you do dishes!"
"We're pros at dishes!"
"Dowon, rest. From today, you just cook."
She grabbed empty dishes and headed to wash. Fine, then other stuff. I quietly pulled tools from luggage.
"Anything need fixing?"
The three froze instantly.
'What?'
Strange silence.
Eun Seong-ju spoke first.
"Lots! Tons!"
Yumi said,
"Fix for us?"
"Yes. If I can."
"Oh god!"
Yoon Mi-hyun suddenly clasped hands.
"'Ask and it shall be given'—he sent us Dowon!"
No, teacher, why?
Eun Seong-ju yelled.
"God is dead' was a lie. What does Nietzsche know!"
Nietzsche now?
Yumi whispered desperately.
"Faucet. Fix the faucet. It bursts with a bang, floods everything."
"Yes. Let me check."
I grabbed tools and went to the sink. Obvious why the faucet burst.
"Just wrap tape a few times."
Not pipe issue, screw was fine. Faucet just loose.
"Need to shut the valve first."
"Wh-what's that?"
"Where's the valve?"
I turned to Lee Ji-yong; a staffer ran off to close it. OK sign from nearby soon.
I unscrewed the faucet with tools. Then—water sprayed everywhere.
What. Didn't shut it?
"Eek!"
Damn. Yumi was there.
I shielded her with my body, taking the water. Valve finally closed properly, water stopped, but Yumi and I were soaked.
"What now."
I slicked back dripping hair.
"Uh? Uh...."
Yumi was speechless.
"I'll replace the faucet first. Senior, change clothes."
"Huh? Oh."
Her face flushed.
"Senior?"
"Y-yeah, gotta change."
She stood like a broken doll, dazed as she walked off.
'Why? Big shock?'
Not traffic accident trauma resurfacing, right?
Wrung my shirt; water poured. I just slicked head water, wrapped Teflon tape on faucet.
'Wet's wet...'
This on purpose? Broadcasting station too much?