Chapter 5
Chapter 5
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Translator: penny
Chapter: 5
Chapter Title: To the Baldies Who Love Freebies
-----------------------------------------------------------------
But she wouldn’t cry in front of me. That’s the kind of person my sister was.
I grinned brightly.
“Sister, wanna nap here for a bit?”
“In the funeral hall?”
“Yeah. No one else is coming now.”
“I have to work. Grandma sent all the helpers away.”
Damn leeches. The funeral costs were all deducted from the inheritance, so why were they meddling on their own?
“You’ve been serving food and cleaning alone since this morning?”
My sister nodded. It made my blood boil. She’d been pulling all-nighters since Mom passed.
It had already been three days. I’d caught some shut-eye here and there, but she hadn’t even managed that.
“Sleep a little. I’ll handle the food.”
She stared at me without a word. Then she let out a sigh and nodded slightly.
“It feels like a dream.”
What does?
“You acting like this feels like a dream. Have I just been up too long and lost my mind?”
“Sister…”
“You’re right. I do need to sleep. If it’s a dream, I’ll wake up.”
She spread out a cushion and lay down on it. I draped my jacket over her. She must’ve been exhausted because she fell asleep the moment her eyes closed.
Listening to her soft breathing amid the scent of chrysanthemums, I turned off the lights in the funeral hall and shut the door.
A sigh escaped me.
‘Cha Dowon, you worthless punk.’
You made your sister suffer right up to the end.
‘I’ll never live like that again.’
Let’s make it, sister. You’ll become a doctor, and I’ll climb to the top.
Never again. Never live like that again.
‘This time, I’ll protect you.’
Just like you protected me.
I pulled out the smartphone from my pocket. Beyond the bright light, the leeches swarmed. I eyed the baldies.
“First things first, deal with those guys.”
The screen lit up, still showing a black background with white text flashing.
[cheat mode 1/3]
Boisterous laughter echoed. I quietly tapped the screen.
[Funeral hall room 301, people over 50, change hair follicles to 0 in 5 minutes]
The screen filled with white dots. What price would it demand this time? Text soon appeared.
[Change completed.]
I pressed confirm without hesitation.
[Side effect: itchy toes for 2 seconds.]
Huh. That’s surprisingly mild.
[cheat mode 2/3]
Does this have limits too? As I pondered, my toes suddenly itched. But two seconds felt disappointingly short.
What the—seriously? I burst out laughing.
“Nice. Perfect.”
I headed toward them. The clueless leeches were passing around boiled pork and soju bottles.
In five minutes, their follicles would all hit zero. Rest in peace. As I quietly put my hands together in my mind, Grandma—whom I hadn’t seen in seven years—spoke up.
“Dowon, come here.”
I approached her.
“Yes? You called?”
“Is the estate settled?”
The funeral hadn’t even ended yet, and she was already on it.
“Guess it’s about time.”
“Leave it to me. I’m good at this stuff. You’re the eldest grandson now. Don’t let that vixen take it all. I was fuming, but this works out.”
I couldn’t hold back a laugh.
‘Eldest grandson duties to a fifteen-year-old.’
Right. That’s how it went before regression. They snatched Mom’s inheritance just like this.
‘Greedy old hag.’
What did she say when I asked for the borrowed money back? Something full of curses.
“Grandma.”
“Yes?”
“I had a dream last night. You know Mom’s spirit is strong, right?”
Her face changed instantly. I straightened up and spoke loudly.
“The moment she saw me, she grabbed my hand, crying, and said to trust no baldies. And she cast a final curse.”
It was utter nonsense, of course. Mom was all about karma—if anything—not curses or dark magic.
“W-what?”
“She said she cast a spell to bald anyone after her money. Anyway, trust people with hair.”
The murmurs stopped abruptly. I looked around.
“Probably just a silly dream. No way anyone’s hair would really…”
That’s when it happened. Grandma’s curly hair suddenly cascaded down.
“Eek!”
Wow.
Shrieks pierced the air. The uncles stared blankly at her, then clutched their own heads.
‘Not much left, but clinging so hard.’
The sparse hairs fluttered pitifully to the floor. No use grabbing them. I watched leisurely. What was it?
A spectacle.
Modern art material right there.
The screams orchestrated a symphony—basses and sopranos clashing in the funeral hall. I quietly covered my mouth.
‘Can’t stop laughing.’
The plated pork was now hair-infested. Grandma clutched her fallen locks and wailed.
“Cha Yeonhwa, you witch!”
No point cursing the dead.
‘Sorry, Mom.’
Blamed it on you. But you probably wouldn’t mind.
I said loudly.
“If hair doesn’t work, there’s another spell she mentioned…”
“Arghhh!”
The uncles leaped up, hair flying. Arms crossed, I watched their flabby butts flapping as they fled. So damn satisfying.
“Sweet.”
I shrugged at Grandma’s retreating back, handbag in tow. Cleaner than expected. I glanced at my smartphone and smirked.
“Time-delay attacks work too, huh.”
Controllable. Mom’s spirit was potent. I looked around. The hair-covered food looked pathetic.
‘Let’s clean up. Can’t let Mom’s farewell end like this.’
Anyone walking in would think it was a dog-grooming salon.
Vacuum would clog. Where’s the broom? Ask outside?
As I mulled it over, someone I knew entered the funeral hall.
I groaned involuntarily.
“Ah…”
Long time no see.
“Aunt.”
My aunt in a black suit and uncle.
A faint smile crossed my lips. I hadn’t noticed before, but now I did.
‘Aunt looks a lot like Mom.’
Of course. Sisters.
“Sorry we’re late.”
I shook my head and hurried back to the chief mourner’s spot. After bows with aunt and uncle, a quiet air settled.
“Where’s Sora?”
“Napping over there.”
“Quieter than I thought.”
I scratched my cheek lightly.
“It was noisy till just now, but I chased them all out.”
Aunt smiled faintly. Oh, she gets the joke.
‘Her smile looks even more like Mom’s.’
Mom suddenly felt closer.
I took a deep breath and faced them. Yeah, pre-regression, I didn’t know. That these two would help me without asking anything in return.
I broached carefully.
“Can I ask a favor?”
Aunt turned to me.
“Help us.”
She eyed me surprised. I kept beaming.
“You’re the only one I can ask. As you know, the paternal side’s full of leeches.”
“Oh my.”
Aunt and uncle exchanged looks, then turned back to me.
“What kind of help?”
“Inheritance. I don’t know taxes. You two are experts.”
Uncle—dry but kind-faced—nodded.
‘He’s a banker.’
I exhaled softly.
“Lend us your wisdom. Neither Sora nor I know much.”
Silence hung. I swallowed my anxiety.
‘I could manage alone.’
Options existed. But at fifteen, my only real relatives were this couple.
“Sora’s twenty?”
I nodded.
“Inheritance at twenty’s tough.”
Aunt placed a hand on my head.
“We discussed on the way. If you asked, we’d handle the legal stuff.”
Her gentle touch stroked my hair.
“But your relatives are tacky. If they pushed, I’d have no choice… but.”
She tapped my cheek.
“Thanks for trusting me.”
I shook my head frantically.
“No, sorry to bother you.”
“Leave the legal to us. He knows great people in this field. Right, dear?”
Uncle chuckled and patted my arm.
“Know tons of judicial scriveners. Don’t worry.”
Their smiles made me grin genuinely. Immense gratitude washed over me, lightening a huge burden. I murmured inwardly.
‘Repay the favor.’
Succeed and give back the best to those who helped when times were tough. Whatever it is.
So. Cha Dowon. You punk.
‘You have to succeed.’
I fiddled with the smartphone in my pocket. Will this get me there?
Then Aunt said.
“Oh, Dowon. One thing to clear up.”
“Yes, Aunt?”
“Just thought—can’t help empty-handed.”
What? Aunt? Ice water down my back. Trembling, I stared. She grinned.
“One condition.”
Wh-what condition?
“Dear, come on…”
“Don’t stop me. It’s not every day.”
Aunt propped her chin, eyeing me. I averted my eyes like a guilty pup.
‘What is it?’
Why so scary? Like a beast looming.
“Dowon.”
“Y-yes?”
“Act cute for me.”
I blanked. Staring wide-eyed, she smiled leisurely, beckoning.
Awkward silence. I finally managed.
“A-Aunt?”
“‘Pretty please, Aunt’ works. Give it a try.”
“Dear, that’s enough.”
“Don’t. A bright boy’s cuteness? Not an everyday sight.”
Uncle shook his head, gripping my shoulder.
“She gets playful when close. No need, Dowon.”
“No way! I must see it!”
I blinked. Super awkward, but honestly… a bit.
‘Familiar.’
Mom did this for extra allowance. Made me kinda used to it.
“You two really are sisters.”
“I was jealous hearing Sis brag. Our Dowon. Grown so much, still a pretty boy.”
I scratched my cheek.
“Guess I am kinda pretty.”
“Yes. So just once. Aunt really wants to see.”
Couldn’t hold back laughter. What a riot.
After gut-busting laughs and wiping tears, I felt their gazes.
‘Warm eyes.’
Why didn’t I notice back then? We wouldn’t have suffered.
I quietly took Aunt’s hand, placing her slender fingers on my cheek.
Beaming, I said.
“Please, Aunt.”
“Oh my?”
Aunt covered her mouth, bursting into laughter.
‘Could write my name with my butt here…’
Too much, though. Aunt.
“Oh! Oh my goodness! So cute!”
She hugged and released me. Whoa, embarrassing. Face turning, she patted my shoulders.
“Seeing Sora and Dowon makes me envy Sis.”
“A-Aunt…”
“But don’t do this outside. Trouble. Whew, heart racing. Getting carried away.”
Uncle intervened.
“Dear, enough. Dowon’s red.”
“That’s the best part. Shy pretty boy.”
“Goodness, Dowon. Ignore her. She’s excited.”
Such people.
‘Memory had her stiff…’
Super lively.
“Sis must’ve struggled. Leaving such a flower of a boy.”
A boy, a flower?