Chapter 19
Chapter 19
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Translator: uly
Chapter: 19
Chapter Title: Memories of That Day
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That day marked my initial visit to the imperial palace upon reaching the age required to form a contract with a spirit.
The Spirit Shrine was located within the magnificent confines of the imperial palace.
Navy blue banners adorned the white marble corridor and I found myself unable to look away as my heart swelled with a profound sense of excitement.
Each of these banners displayed intricate symbols that represented different spirits.
I reflected that once I successfully formed a contract, one of those distinct marks would manifest on the back of my hand.
I gazed down at my unmarked skin for a moment before turning toward my father with a look of firm resolve.
I declared to him with enthusiasm that I would surely emerge from the shrine having contracted with an extraordinary spirit.
My father remained silent in response to my exclamation.
I was incredibly animated that day because my father, whom I rarely encountered despite residing in the same manor, had accompanied me.
His countenance remained as impassive as ever after such a long interval, yet even that distant demeanor brought me a measure of joy.
I harbored a secret hope that if I succeeded in securing a contract with a powerful spirit, he might finally offer me words of praise for my efforts.
I considered that while I might be seen as a timid and foolish daughter unworthy of his affection, the contract might change his perception of me.
My two brothers had already contracted with magnificent spirits and were undoubtedly a source of great pride for my father.
I recognized that I fell far short of their accomplishments, yet I believed that gaining a spirit would allow me to improve myself.
However, the situation did not unfold as I had envisioned.
I stood before my father and offered a desperate apology for the outcome.
The entity I had encountered was the Wish Spirit, a being of legend whose existence was widely debated and classified as the most perilous of the high-grade spirits.
I quickly learned that I was strictly forbidden from revealing the nature of our contract to anyone.
According to the spirit's warnings, the imperial palace maintained a secret practice of sealing those who contracted with danger-class spirits.
In more direct terms, they were known to execute such individuals without any trace of mercy.
The spirit advised me that if I wished to preserve my life, I must inform the authorities that no spirit had chosen to form a bond with me.
I found myself facing the threat of being sealed without understanding the cause and felt I had no choice but to follow the spirit's instruction.
I expressed my profound regret and falsely claimed that no spirit had deemed me worthy of a contract.
My father stared at my unmarked hand for an agonizingly long duration before silently turning away and departing from the shrine.
I cried out for him to wait and pleaded for us to walk together as I struggled to keep pace with him.
I attempted to run through that wide, cold, and long corridor while struggling to catch my breath.
I remembered the sharp pain of tripping and falling onto the hard floor.
Even as my knee throbbed with an intensity that felt as though it might shatter, I gritted my teeth and looked up through my tears.
I realized that my father’s back had already vanished from my sight.
It was an experience that remained as a truly heartbreaking and horrific memory in my mind.
I remarked that I was well aware of how my father felt because his expression had betrayed his true thoughts at that time.
I noted that it was not that I failed to understand his disappointment in me.
I admitted that it was true that I was lacking in every capacity to be considered the daughter of such a great man.
My father frowned and shook his head while claiming that he did not possess any memory of the event.
He asserted that he did not recall his facial expression and insisted that he never viewed me as a disgrace to the family lineage.
He stated that the failure to secure a spirit contract was not a significant issue to him.
I responded with a sarcastic tone, noting that I supposed his statement might be true in his own mind.
My father ran a hand through his hair with a look of visible irritation at my response.
He asked if I truly did not believe him and repeated that the failed contract was not my fault.
I agreed that it was indeed not my fault and acknowledged that it was an event beyond my personal control.
However, I posed a question that caused my father to freeze in his tracks.
I asked if he could not have simply informed me at the time that everything was going to be alright.
I explained that I needed to hear those words so that I would not spend my life believing it was my fault.
I noted that I wanted to avoid feeling worthless and believed that I should not have felt the need to apologize for the outcome.
I insisted that he surely possessed the ability to say those simple words of comfort.
During the silent carriage ride home that day, Rubette had begun to sense the harsh reality of her situation.
She realized that she would likely never become a daughter of whom her father could be proud.
She saw herself as a stupid girl without a spirit who had brought shame upon her noble family name.
I confessed that the memory of crying until my eyes were swollen made me feel a sense of profound hatred toward him.
I turned my head away as I felt the familiar sting of tears beginning to well up in my eyes again.
***
The rare outing between the father and daughter concluded as a complete and utter disaster.
Rubette remained in a state of gloomy silence throughout their meal at the restaurant while Leonard was occupied with his own private thoughts.
Upon their arrival at the manor, Rubette exited the carriage with a dramatic flourish and hurried inside without a word.
Leonard hesitated as if he intended to reach out for her, but he ultimately let his hand drop and walked toward his quarters with a weary step.
His adjutant, Gott, followed closely behind him after having accompanied them throughout the afternoon.
Leonard called out to Gott and inquired about an event that had occurred approximately six months prior.
He asked if Gott recalled the day of Rubette’s birthday when they had visited the palace for her spirit contract.
Gott confirmed that he had indeed been present during that particular outing.
Leonard collapsed onto his bed and covered his eyes with his arm as he struggled to retrieve the faded memories.
He reflected on Rubette’s claim that his expression was seared into her mind and that he had looked at her with contempt.
He wondered why she believed he had left her alone and walked away in such a cold manner.
He lamented that his habit of living in a half-drunk state had caused his recollections of the day to become hazy.
Gott searched his own memory and noted that aside from the failed contract, nothing of particular significance had occurred.
He then recalled the significant fine the palace had issued after Leonard had assaulted the Shrine Master named Raus.
Leonard suddenly remembered the violent encounter and noted that he had indeed struck the old man with considerable force.
The memories of his daughter’s fifteenth birthday began to resurface with more clarity.
As a member of the noble bloodline of Diorus, Rubette was expected to form a spirit contract without exception.
The ritual took place within the Spirit Shrine, where Leonard and ten shrine attendants in white robes waited for the result.
He recalled his daughter’s face beaming with an adorable sense of excitement as she entered the shrine alone.
However, when she finally emerged from behind the heavy doors, her countenance was as pale as ash.
She had offered a tearful apology and claimed that no spirit had chosen to form a bond with her.
Leonard, who was typically composed, found himself in a state of profound shock at this revelation.
It was unprecedented for someone of the Diorus lineage with Golden Eyes to fail the spirit contract ritual.
In his own confusion, he had neglected the immediate necessity of comforting his distraught and weeping daughter.
The old shrine master had ground his teeth in humiliation and declared that the event was a grave disgrace to the palace.
Leonard recalled how those words had acted like ice water on his own jumbled thoughts.
He had become infuriated by the way the shrine attendants stared at his daughter with looks of intense scrutiny.
He realized that while only ten people were watching now, his daughter would soon face the mockery of hundreds more outside the shrine.
He had demanded to see her hand and found that there was indeed no contractor's mark present on her skin.
He realized that her words were true and that she had been rejected by the spirits of the shrine.
The sharp and judgmental voice of the Shrine Master echoed in his ears, noting that rumors of her inadequacy were now confirmed.
Leonard had felt a wave of profound disgust as he observed the people appraising his daughter as if she were a piece of meat.
He noted that Raus had referred to her as a Non-Contractor from Diorus with a look of utter disdain.
Leonard recalled how his vision had blurred with a sudden surge of rage at the old man’s insolence.
He had chased after the arrogant master with quick strides, intent on delivering a physical punishment for his words.
He realized that Rubette must have been following him, though he had not looked back to confirm her presence.
He had confronted Raus outside the shrine and demanded an explanation for the insult directed at his daughter.
He remembered beating the old man’s face to a pulp before he was able to regain his senses.
The palace authorities could not ignore such an assault, yet they were unable to imprison a man of Leonard’s stature.
He reflected on the light fine that had been issued a month later as the only consequence of his actions that day.