I Shouldn't Have Picked Up the Magical Girl
Magical girl. Magical girl. Magical girl. Villain. Magical girl.
Where there are fans, there are haters. Where there are haters, there are fans.
A vicious cycle of mutual biting and tearing.
Which side am I on?
I’m not particularly biased toward either, but if I had to pick, I lean closer to the hater side.
I have that lingering edgelord tendency toward the entire world losing its mind over magical girls, and that was true even before what happened to my family.
“……”
I stared at the photograph that had held its place for four unwavering years.
A once-harmonious family portrait that had become a memorial photo.
I knew it wasn’t the magical girl’s fault.
She had simply been doing her job.
She had simply fought with everything she had to stop the villains’ rampage.
She had simply failed to block one attack, and my parents and little brother—who happened to be standing in the wrong spot—were crushed to death.
Even so, I couldn’t bring myself to blame her.
My little brother had adored magical girls more than anything, and that same magical girl had once saved my parents’ lives.
Beep.
The truth is, I’ve never really cared about magical girls.
Not because they killed my family, but because I was never interested to begin with.
“Magical girls? It’s not even a kid’s game. How childish.”
Feeling a little hungry, I shuffled outside in my slippers. Right then, an emergency alert buzzed on my phone.
Villain sighted in xx District, xx Neighborhood. Estimated D-class threat. Residents in the area, please remain indoors until the all-clear message is sent. Citizens currently outside, please evacuate immediately to the nearest building or shelter.
The same tiresome text that arrived at least once a day.
I knew it was safety complacency. I wasn’t the only one.
On social media, in the news comments, posts with the same tired sentiment kept popping up: “Stop sending those damn evacuation alerts. I live in the next neighborhood over and I still get them.”
As if to prove the point, the college students walking past me were laughing and strolling along without a hint of urgency.
BOOOOM—!
“That sound is no joke. Must be pretty close, huh?”
Only then did the two of them finally start running in a panic.
It sounded far away. There was no way it would reach all the way here—
BANG!!
“Ah, shit! You scared the hell out of me!”
Suddenly, some unidentified mass came flying straight at my face.
I swore without thinking. Then a person rose from inside the cloud of dust.
“Phew~! I thought I was a goner!”
Blonde twintails.
Even covered in dust with messy hair, she was unmistakably the type who’d have tons of fans.
I didn’t even care about magical girls, yet I still froze for a second just watching her.
“Hey, Oppa! Didn’t you see the safety alert!? Get out of here, quick!”
“Uh… huh?”
WHOOSH!
Before I could even snap out of it, something massive came flying in.
The blonde magical girl grabbed me and rolled us both out of the way. I got a mouthful of dirt and finally understood what magical girls had to deal with.
Okay. The idea that magical girls strut around basking in their popularity? I’ll put that thought on hold for now.
“Cough! Cough!”
“Ah, sorry. Are you okay? Anyway, you should get back inside—”
“Behind you! Behind!”
At my shout, the magical girl spun with graceful, almost Olympic-level precision and dodged the incoming laser.
“V~”
She countered by hurling a massive spear. The black mass struck by the twintailed girl’s spear vanished from sight.
“Ah, it ran away. We risk our lives fighting and they just flee the second things go south.”
She matched the bright, cheerful image I’d seen on TV, but she was covered in dust, bleeding, and breathing hard.
It was a little different from what I’d imagined, but I could finally see why my brother had been so obsessed with them.
“If I go back like this, I’m gonna get yelled at again.”
“Um…”
“Yeah?”
Even now, I don’t know why I spoke up at that exact moment.
The magical girls who had killed my parents and brother.
She wasn’t one of them, but I still carried a deep-seated aversion toward magical girls. Yet the words came out without hesitation.
“If it’s not too much trouble… would you like to come inside, treat your wounds, and clean up a bit?”
“Eh… Puhahaha! That’s the first time anyone’s made such a stupid offer. Clean up? What, are you a pervert, Oppa?”
She seemed to have taken my words in the exact opposite direction I intended.
“No no no no no. I didn’t mean take a shower—I just thought you might want to wash the dust off and clean your face before going.”
“The more you stutter, the more suspicious you sound.”
“Even so, I wouldn’t say anything dangerous like that to a minor.”
“For someone who just invited a random magical girl to wash up at his place, you sound surprisingly decent. You did help me, and I did save your life, so… would it be okay if I take you up on that favor for a bit?”
Wait. Isn’t this even more dangerous?
Inviting a magical girl into my house to wash up?
“Oh, right.”
The twintailed girl picked up my grocery basket from the ground and handed it to me.
“I’m twenty, by the way. A legal adult.”
“That’s not really the issue here.”
“Puhahaha, just in case.”
And so, before I knew it, I had picked up a magical girl. She washed up, ate, had bandages wrapped around her head, and was now sprawled on my sofa.
Only after I came to my senses did I fully register the situation.
Her blonde hair had reverted to black after her transformation ended, but the twintails remained.
Online, people said that without her transformation she was actually ugly, or that she was secretly a guy. I’d assumed there was some correction effect in play.
But if the saying “a girl looks as pretty as she tries to look” existed, then right now she was naturally, effortlessly beautiful.
It was like the gap between a woman in a sharp suit and the same woman in casual clothes.
For a twenty-two-year-old single guy, the situation was far too stimulating.
Especially since her chest had gone from… well, to significantly more.
“Kya~ Beer after work. This is what makes the job worth it.”
A magical girl drinking beer from my fridge in broad daylight.
I’d said the gap was exciting, but this gap was way too big.
“I was worried you might actually be younger than me for a second~”
“Ahaha…”
She didn’t hit her head hard enough to act this weird, right?
“Is that a family photo? You live alone? Or wait, your family isn’t about to suddenly come home, are they?”
“…They passed away. They were hit by a deflected magical girl attack.”
“Sorry… I said something insensitive.”
“It’s fine. I don’t really resent them. I do hate it, but my little brother loved magical girls, and my parents were once saved by one, so I try not to hold a grudge.”
The mood grew heavy.
We were basically strangers who would never meet again. I should have just said I lived alone and left it at that.
It wasn’t even venting. The words just came out half-formed.
“You seem like you’d be okay with it. Give me your phone.”
“Huh?”
“Hand it over.”
I passed her my phone without thinking, but her expression twisted slightly.
“You think I asked for your phone just to look at the model? Unlock it.”
Every action and word from her made my opinion of magical girls swing wildly up and down.
Not every magical girl could be like this.
It was a good thing my brother never saw this side of them.
“Here. I saved my number in your favorites. My real name is Han Yeeun. Since you said you aren’t interested in magical girls, I put my real name. If you’re ever in danger, call me. I’ll come running first.”
“Why are you doing this for me?”
“You remind me of the dog we used to have at home.”
“……”
“Puhahahaha, I’m kidding, I’m kidding. How could I just walk away after hearing you lost your family to a magical girl? Besides, you don’t seem like the type who’d do anything weird with my contact info.”
She—Han Yeeun—stood up from the sofa, stretched, and glanced at me.
Swish.
“It’s a little disappointing to find out you’re the type who stares at a girl’s armpits, though.”
“Absolutely not. I only looked because you stood up. It was purely by chance. I’m not that kind of pervert.”
“Your face is my type, so I’ll let it slide. No girlfriend, right?”
“Doesn’t look like it’s happening anytime soon.”
“Good. When I retire from being a magical girl, I’ll come find you. Keep the spot open. And don’t empty the beer in the fridge. Got it?”
“Huh? Yeah.”
Even though my answer was dazed, Han Yeeun smiled in satisfaction and left. After the whirlwind thirty minutes, I stood there staring blankly at the front door.
“Ha…”
Romance? Yeah, right.
I pressed down on the contact she had left in my phone—‘Han Yeeun (Delete This and Die)’.
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Ding-dong~
Did she forget something?
“Did you leave something be—huh?”
Something black flew into my house like it had been thrown. I fell backward in surprise.
Thud.
“Ow… Who are you?”
For a second I thought it was a burglar, but the clumsy way she’d tumbled in made that seem unlikely.
“I’m sorry… Could you hide me for a bit?”
“Excuse me?”
“Villains are chasing me. My colleague got hit by their transformation spell, so even I…”
A girl with a large wound on her shoulder, breathing heavily.
What kind of day was this? After years with zero connection to magical girls, two of them had ended up in my house in one day.
She had a somewhat dark, gloomy vibe, but no normal person would walk around dressed like that.
In the end, I ended up treating two women I’d never met before in my house on the same day.
“You can rest in my room for now.”
“Thank you, O… ppa.”
The girl gave a shy greeting through the crack in the door.
She looked around the same age as Han Yeeun earlier. Was she also an adult?
Both of them looked like they could pass for high schoolers sometimes.
Ding-dong~
What now?
I barely held back the rising irritation and checked the peephole. Two people in suits were standing outside.
“Who is it?”
“We’re from the Magical Girl Management Bureau. There’s a villain who fled into this area. We’re conducting a search. Have you seen anything suspicious?”
“……!”
At that exact moment, the black-haired girl grabbed my hand. It felt like my heart stopped.
The fragile magical girl was drenched in cold sweat, eyes glistening with tears as she shook her head.
The villains’ ability was transformation magic, wasn’t it?
“No, I’ve been home all day because of the alert.”
“I see. Thank you for your cooperation.”
The sound of their footsteps faded away.
Only then did the girl sigh in relief and smile.
“Thank you, Oppa.”
I couldn’t stop the corners of my mouth from turning up and had to cover it with my hand.
No, why are you smiling when the kid is hurt?
This time I can finally rest.
I collapsed onto the floor in front of the sofa while the magical girl sat politely on it.
Why the hell did I turn on the TV?
The A-class villain shown on screen had the exact same face as the girl I had just hidden.
I switched the channel as fast as I could.
My chest felt tight. Cold sweat soaked my entire body.
“You could at least try to hide the smell of sweat, you know?”
“Ugh!!”
I shouldn’t have been naïve enough to think the other party was just a wounded patient.
I shot up from my seat, but before I could take a single step, the girl who looked like a high schooler pinned me down with one hand.
“Ha… Even with my arm half-destroyed, you think I can’t handle one ordinary civilian?”
Help! Somebody help!!