Chapter 33
Chapter 33
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Translator: MadScientist
Chapter: 33
Chapter Title: Mini Bull Market
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Mini bull market.
The wildly tangled cosplay threesome had finally come to an end.
In my cramped studio apartment, only the heavy breathing of three people and the thick, lewd scent of sweat mixed with semen lingered in the air.
On the bed lay two exhausted women who had poured out everything they had.
Yura's body was barely covered by a white nurse outfit half-torn off, and next to Chaewon's head sat her crumpled police cap like some trophy of war.
Scattered on the floor were their stockings and toy handcuffs, proof of last night's frenzy.
Amid all that chaos, I had seized the most powerful and clearest Post-Nut Clarity of my life.
Every bodily sensation faded into the distance, leaving only my brain—my mind—spinning faster and more precisely than any supercomputer on earth.
Even the crushing fatigue felt like a pleasant buzz in this perfect state of awakening.
I sat up in bed.
It was time to prepare for our final war, the one that would stake our future.
While the two women showered, I lit a cigarette and exhaled a long plume of smoke.
As I'd predicted, just a few hours before the CPI announcement, the market would be flooded with one last wave of panic selling.
The time when the hypothetical reasons I'd analyzed before would truly engulf the market in fear.
'Then... what if we pour a little fuel on the fire?'
A perfect battle plan was taking shape in my mind.
By the time I finished thinking, the two women emerged from the bathroom, fresh and fluffy after their showers.
I called quietly to them.
"Yura, Chaewon. Come here for a sec."
At my words, Yura was the first to grimace in disgust.
"Ugh, you perverted freak. Don't tell me you wanna go again before we even finish washing... You're such a pain."
She clearly thought I was suggesting another round of sex.
As she grumbled her way over, I snapped back in annoyance.
"Hey, you crazy bitch! That's not it, alright? Fuck, don't you wanna get rich? Is your head full of nothing but cum?"
My irritation made Chaewon glance back and forth between us bickering and shake her head.
"Why do you two always have to yell at each other? Anyway, what is it? Something to talk about?"
With that one line from Chaewon, I switched back to my 'leader' face and began explaining the perfect plan I'd just devised.
I looked at the two women gravely and asked.
"You know what 'opinion warfare' is?"
Chaewon tilted her head.
"Opinion warfare?"
"Yeah. Like 'comment brigades' and that shit."
With my simple explanation, Chaewon finally got it and let out a soft "Ahhh."
Confirming she understood the concept, I started assigning specific tasks.
I turned to Yura, who had been listening quietly.
"Yura, you're an English major, right? If I write the content, can you translate it to English?"
I was checking her key skill.
But then I thought it might be a hassle and muttered to myself.
"Tch... Nah, maybe just run it through a translator?"
At that instant, Yura's face hardened menacingly.
"Wow, you fucking asshole, you say the stupidest shit."
She glared at me like she was genuinely pissed.
"Hey, if you use a translator, the sentences come out all fucked up."
"So, can you or can't you?"
I cut off her emotional outburst and got to the point.
Yura sighed heavily, "Hoo," like she was confessing some dirty secret.
"If I hadn't been such a total outcast in school... my grades were fucking great."
That one line explained everything.
I didn't ask anything more and just replied curtly.
"Okay."
With that, our team's roles were fully assigned.
Strategy and content creation: me. Domestic opinion war: Chaewon. Overseas opinion war: Yura.
Everything seemed perfect.
Then Chaewon pointed out the most basic flaw.
"But... we only have one computer. How are we supposed to do this together?"
'Shit, right... I didn't think of that.' My 'super intelligence' had hit the simplest wall of reality again.
But the solution was surprisingly straightforward.
Yura, who hadn't joined the conversation until now, looked at us pitifully and said.
"What are you stressing about? Just go to a PC bang. And it's hot out today—perfect timing."
PC bang. I mentally kicked myself for not thinking of that simple fix and asked Yura.
"You don't have class today?"
"Is class the issue right now? This is our quantum leap moment."
Her solemn answer made me grin mischievously as I teased her.
"Oh, Han Yura. Selling your panties to dump everything into coins, huh?"
In response, Yura silently flipped me the bird.
Then, with a murderous glare, she added quietly.
"So if this flops... I'm killing you."
"Yeah. But if it works, don't forget you owe me that ass."
At my parting shot, Yura made a face like '...Fuck, why did I say that?' full of regret.
I loved that mix of remorse on her face.
Satisfied, I stood to get ready to head out.
For the first time in days, I dug out some proper clothes and started getting dressed.
Right then, I felt two weird stares directed at me.
Like they were zoo visitors spotting a rare animal for the first time.
As I pulled up my pants, I shrugged and said.
"What're you staring at? Bro too handsome?"
Yura replied with utter disbelief.
"No. It's just been fucking forever since I saw you with clothes on."
Oh, right... Ever since Chaewon joined the team, I hadn't left this apartment once.
Food? Chaewon cooks. Laundry? Chaewon does it. Cigarettes? Chaewon brings them.
"Holy shit...!"
That's when it fully hit me.
"Now that I think about it, I've been locked in this hole like a chump, turning trash like you two into millionaires?"
At my tragic cry, Yura and Chaewon just shrugged like 'About time you figured it out, dumbass.'
And so, for the first time in days, we stepped out of the apartment.
The moment we were outside, Chaewon naturally hooked her arm through mine like a girlfriend.
With a slightly anxious look, she murmured softly.
"Um... hey... if we make a ton this time... I'll... let you... do my ass."
'...Why's she bringing this up now?'
Her out-of-nowhere offer left me momentarily confused.
Oh, because of what I said earlier about being locked away making them rich?
She must've gotten insecure, thinking I didn't need them anymore.
A chuckle escaped me at the thought.
"That was just talk, no brain involved. Why take it so seriously and get all worked up?"
I ruffled her hair lightly and spoke sincerely.
"I'd be screwed without you two as well. I need you and Yura."
That one line melted away all her anxiety.
Chaewon looked up at me for a moment, then whispered in the tiniest voice.
"......Thanks."
Her pure gratitude made my face heat up without warning.
'Ugh, damn... She has this way of turning a total asshole into a real prick sometimes.'
Her earnest words left me feeling endlessly ashamed of my earlier grumbling self.
We headed to the biggest PC bang nearby.
Dim interior, flashy mechanical keyboard lights, gunfire and curses echoing everywhere.
Unlike the gamers enjoying themselves, our goal was crystal clear.
We grabbed three seats in the farthest corner, logged into our computers side by side.
I opened a blank notepad and began drafting our team's first 'operation': a declaration of propaganda.
My fingers danced across the keyboard.
My brain in 'crystal clarity' mode churned out the perfect logical combo to brew the most plausible fear, spilling it onto the text.
[Analysis] CPI Isn't the Problem. The Two 'Real Bombs' You're Missing. 1. The Illusion of the Logistics Chaos
> The market's only talking about the impact of the 'Shanghai port shutdown' on CPI, but that's just the tip of the iceberg. After deep analysis of unpublished satellite data and logistics networks, it's clear that unlike official reports, most alternate routes for key components have failed. This will hit Q2 corporate earnings with a 'hidden inflation shock.' The market hasn't yet grasped the true terror of the logistics meltdown lurking behind those CPI numbers.
2. The Backlash of Consumer Debt
> Recovery in consumer sentiment from 'U.S. auto union wage hikes'? Total bullshit. Unofficial data shows credit card delinquency rates spiking. Most of those wage gains are going to pay off debt, not spending. Clear proof consumer psychology has collapsed beyond repair—the strongest signal of the deep recession ahead. Even if the Fed cuts rates, spending won't revive.
Conclusion: No matter what CPI comes in at, it doesn't matter. The market's fundamentals are rotting away unnoticed, ready to burst. This isn't the time to chase profits—secure cash and think survival. Choose wisely. I scanned the masterpiece I'd just created, fully satisfied.
Then I sent this perfect 'fuel' to Yura and Chaewon via messenger.
"There, sent."
I looked at my two comrades sitting beside me.
Their faces now carried the grim resolve of soldiers heading into a massive war.
"From now on, we start the opinion war."
At my declaration, Chaewon and Yura stared at their screens with solemn expressions.
But after skimming what I'd sent, Yura raised the most reasonable doubt.
"But nobodies like us posting this—who's gonna care?"
She was spot on. I grinned at her sharp point.
"Yeah. Totally meaningless. One post alone."
Leaning back in the PC bang chair, I explained the core tactic.
"That's why we tweak the content a bit and win with sheer volume."
Chaewon looked at me, already grasping it fully.
"Just spam it everywhere like crazy, right?"
"Yep."
I nodded.
One post is just one opinion.
But if dozens, hundreds of different IDs flood similar posts and comments all at once?
It stops looking like one person's view—it becomes massive 'public opinion.' That's exactly what we were aiming for.
And so our team's first 'opinion war' began.
In the noisy din of the PC bang, only the area around our three seats felt like the tense situation room of a secret spy agency on a covert op.
I was the 'commander-in-chief' and 'content creator.'
My fingers machine-gunned across the keyboard, endlessly producing sharp critique articles to stoke market fear.
'Shanghai Port Shutdown: The Hidden Truth the Data Reveals.'
'U.S. Consumers Sinking into Debt's Grip, Not Wage Gains.'
'Three Reasons Your Assets Could Turn to Toilet Paper After CPI.'
Same content, but I varied titles and tones to churn out dozens of 'fuel' variants.
To my right, Chaewon was the 'domestic opinion shock trooper.'
She blasted my posts across every Korean coin community and SNS using dozens of anonymous IDs.
Sometimes posting, sometimes commenting like 'Pilgrimage to the holy post, taking my lumps' to slyly manipulate sentiment.
To my left, Yura was the 'overseas opinion special agent.'
Her real talent as the 'English major outcast' shone here.
She translated my core logic into flawless, elegant English no machine could match.
Then she exported our 'fear' to Reddit, Twitter, 4chan—everywhere global coin investors gathered.
Hours of 'opinion war grinding' dragged on.
We paused keyboards for late lunch with cup ramen. The savory smell spread through the whole PC bang.
Just as I was about to slurp noodles with wooden chopsticks—
Chaewon, eating ramen beside me, nudged my shoulder.
"Hey, check this out."
Dark circles from hours of hard work shadowed her face.
I glanced at her phone screen. An online news article.
[Analysis] Scarier Than CPI: 'Hidden Time Bombs' Signaling Market Collapse? Familiar title. I chuckled and teased.
"What... when did you become a reporter?"
"What're you talking about?"
Chaewon replied in a tired voice, barely hiding her excitement.
"Some 'hack journalist' straight-up copy-pasted your post into an article."
"...?"
I double-checked my eyes and read the article closely.
'Logistics chaos illusion,' 'consumer debt backlash.'
Exactly what I'd written hours ago. Word-for-word rip-off.
Our baseless anonymous 'fear' was now flying around the market as 'real news' under a media outlet's name.
I muttered unwittingly.
"......Jackpot."
Unable to contain our excitement at the operation's bigger-than-expected success, we buzzed for a moment.
Right then, Yura—who'd been hammering keys like mad, barely touching her ramen—scowled and called me.
"Hey, pig."
She pointed at her Reddit screen.
"I'm in a flame war with some dude... but I can't figure out what this asshole's saying."
I replied indifferently.
"You crazy bitch, why bother with every troll? Just ignore and overwhelm with volume, like I said."
"Fuck! This guy's like a total 'named'!"
That word.
'Named.'
I set down my ramen and checked her screen.
Dozens of comments shredding her analysis post with relentless logic.
The moment I saw the username, my face stiffened.
Fucking familiar.
One of the sharpest analysts in the scene with a shit-ton of followers—the infamous 'named' debater.
Our little 'op' had poked a heavyweight we never saw coming.
Ding! Alarm bells rang in my head.
This wasn't someone to ignore.
One counterpost from that 'named' could douse all the 'fuel' we'd spread with hundreds of IDs—like a massive extinguisher.
Our fear-mongering opinion could flip in an instant because of him.
I dropped my ramen, stood, and moved behind Yura.
"Yura, scoot over."
My voice was colder and more serious than ever.
"I'll handle this myself from now on."
This was no longer just 'opinion war.'
Ahead of the coming 'mini bull market,' it was the opening salvo of an all-out battle between two 'strategists' vying for market sentiment.
Or so I thought. Until I grabbed the keyboard.
Yura glanced back at me from her chair like I was pathetic.
"What're you on about, you dumb fuck."
She dropped a fact bomb.
"What can a guy who can't speak a lick of English do?"
"Ah................"
Her words deflated all my epic aura and charisma like a popped balloon.
All Reddit debates, naturally, were in English.
Deflated, I pleaded pitifully with zero prior swagger.
"Please... translate for me...?"
At my pathetic sight, Yura sighed deeply like 'Knew it'd come to this.'
She was now my 'mouth' and 'spear,' the sole interpreter delivering my strategies overseas.