The Barbarian Way
The bandits showed up three days later, in the morning.
They approached hidden in the thick morning mist that blanketed the plateau. The moment the sun rose and the fog began to lift, they launched their attack.
The ones charging out were all hyped up.
"Charge everyone!"
"Kyaaahoo!"
"Grab the females, and the males too!"
"We're gonna be rich!"
Humans in a sloppy formation poured out from the forest below the plateau. There were a decent number of them, but their clothes and weapons were all mismatched. They weren't even paying attention to each other's positions, so their lines were a total mess. For how excited they were, they looked pretty pathetic.
One bandit at the front let out a scream.
"Shit, fuck! What the hell are those!?"
What he'd spotted was clearly the beastkin women preparing breakfast. He'd figured all the other beastkin were still asleep. That's why he'd rushed out first without a care—if he'd seen any sign of armed folks, he'd have hidden right away.
But suddenly, armed beastkin appeared from where none had been visible.
The bandits weren't total idiots. They'd been watching us through the mist and struck at our most unguarded moment.
The problem was, it was a trap.
"What else? It's a trap, you idiots!"
"Kill 'em! Kill!"
"Don't let a single one escape!"
The tribesfolk who'd been hiding burst out all at once.
"Dammit, it's a trap!"
"K-Keep the formation! If we fight, we'll w—" "Gaaah!"
In an instant, the bandits' ranks collapsed. Some got trampled by horses and sent flying, others smashed into trees. Bear Elder's movements were especially overwhelming. He'd close in with a shukuchi step in a flash, then unleash a kick at full speed. He'd follow up on the flying enemy with another shukuchi and kick again. It was pure, terrifying violence—no fight, no resistance, just a one-sided massacre.
Of course, we had the high ground advantage, but even accounting for that, the gap was ridiculous. An extreme difference in level. Comparing it to the plains battle was an insult.
"Dammit! Retreat! Retreat!"
"Run, you fuckers! I don't wanna die here!"
The ones who finally grasped the situation tried to flee, but Deer Elder's vegetation magic tangled their feet.
"Gaaah!"
The bandits who tripped and exposed their backs got cut down defenselessly.
Grass bind. Kinda practical in a sneaky way?
And just like that, the bandit raid was over in less than an hour. Out of nearly fifty, most were dead, with only about a dozen taken prisoner.
"Whew. What a pain first thing in the morning."
Even after the overwhelming victory, Deer Elder looked exhausted. She grumbled as she stared down at the corpses.
"Ugh, what a drag. Why'd they have to die in the front yard? Couldn't croak at home? Ruins the view!"
We killed them...
She seemed annoyed that the plateau was stained with blood and spoiled the scenery. Even after, she kept complaining: "Who's cleaning up the bodies~" "Ugh, look at this mess. Bet they don't even have anything worthwhile."
My expression wasn't great either. Not for aesthetic reasons like Deer Elder, though.
"Ugh... gross."
It was because the sight of human corpses strewn everywhere turned my stomach. The metallic stench creeping up made me dry-heave. Good thing I hadn't eaten breakfast preparing for the raid.
"Elder, shall we wrap it up?"
The warriors who'd chased down the stragglers returned from afar.
"Yeah. Whew. Cleaning up's always harder than fighting."
True enough. Hunting rabbits was fun, but gutting them? No thanks. The meat was tasty, though. Probably took all day to clean up after the plains battle too. Passing out after fighting the goblins might've been a blessing?
Deer Elder, who'd been openly annoyed, perked up when she saw the prisoners.
"Ah! This'll work!"
"...?"
What'd she come up with? A bad feeling hit me.
◇◇◇◆◇◇◇
Stab. Stab.
Down in the deep forest below the plateau, a dozen burly men were digging into the earth.
"Come on, come on. Finish before lunch, got it?"
"Yes ma'am!"
The diggers were the captured bandits. Piles of their former comrades' corpses lay beside them. Making the survivors dig graves for the dead—Deer Elder's idea.
"Hands too slow! Faster!"
Crack!
Deer Elder cracked her red whip to hurry them. Isn't that the demon's whip? When'd she snag that?
"Hah... hah..."
The lashes didn't speed them up much. No surprise—they were all injured, big or small, so efficiency sucked.
But that wasn't our problem.
"Ah... you're all too damn slow. Hey, this won't do. Everyone, stop. Just kill 'em all."
She beckoned to the tribesfolk behind her. The ones waiting with arms crossed cracked their knuckles.
At that, the bandits' hands flew like mad.
"S-Sorry, sis!"
"Spare us! W-We’ll work harder!"
"Good. Let's do this right."
They were desperate since we'd promised to let them live if they dug the pit well. Finally, she smiled in satisfaction.
"She's such a thug..."
We were starting to feel like the bad guys. Should've just stayed back and slept.
Thanks to the "encouragement" from the crowd(?), the pit was done quick. The prisoners chucked the bodies in haphazardly.
No camaraderie? They looked like they were tossing out kitchen scraps. No hint of sadness, even for familiar faces.
"Haha, all done, sis. Still some room left even after stuffing 'em in."
"Hm. Right on time, though..."
"Hehe, we always get the job done on the dot."
The prisoners bootlicked openly. The tribesfolk laughed along.
"Good work. Now off you go."
"Yes! Hehe... well, see you—" "Gurk!"
Squelch.
A waiting snake beastkin sliced a bandit's throat. The body toppled into the pit.
"Wh-What the...!"
"You broke the pr—gack!"
The rest of the prisoners were dispatched in seconds. With their bodies tossed in too, the pit was finally full.
"Hm? What's wrong, Ursa?"
Deer Elder looked puzzled at my dumbfounded face.
"...Why'd you kill them?"
"Why? You know the alliance terms, right? Wipe out all the criminals hiding in the mountains."
"..."
The Border March wanted every last criminal in the range eradicated as the price of alliance. We'd just fulfilled that—in true barbarian fashion.
"B-But you promised to let them live..."
"Just to keep 'em from rebelling. Who else'd dig their own graves?"
I was speechless.
"...Still."
"Ursa."
The eyes on me sharpened. No—not really. That's just how it felt. They were looking at me like always. I'd just glimpsed the barbarism I'd never seen before.
"Remember this: No mercy or pity for enemies. Unless you're dying for them, that's a luxury."
Pure barbarian logic. But no complaints or gripes escaped my lips. I couldn't argue. Because deep down, I agreed with their reasoning—and that made me a barbarian too.
◇◇◇◆◇◇◇
We could only eat lunch after all the cleanup. Wandering around to settle my stomach, I spotted Bear Elder.
Changed clothes? It was the outfit from meeting Border March.
Sure enough, I ran up to him.
"Bear Elder! Where to?"
"Mm. With the bandits mostly wiped out, need to report to him."
"Border March, right?"
"Aye."
As expected—he was off to see Border March. Which meant heading to his territory I'd only glimpsed!
"Take me too!"
"No. What business you got there?"
"Please! I'll be good..."
But his face stayed firm. This wouldn't cut it. A chance to see the Empire with my own eyes—I couldn't miss it.
No choice... I'd hoped not to use this.
I planted myself in front of him with a resolute look.
"Ursa, no means no—"
"Eeeeng... Bear Elder, pleeease. Can't you take Ursa just this once? Nee?"
"..."
Moments later, I was tucked under his arm. We stood at the plateau's eastern edge. Far off, Border March's castle loomed.
"...Don't cause any trouble."
"Unghihi... Yup!"
Bear Elder sighed and cast shukuchi.
Wooong.
Vision stretched, body pulled taut. Then suddenly, we were atop the massive walls.
This is insane.
As I marveled, a scream rang out.
"I-Intruders!"
Looked like the guards mistook us for invaders. Oops. We were intruders, technically.
"Wh-What do we do, Bear Elder? Guards incoming!"
"Mm... Guess this is as far as we get."
Even as guards swarmed, he eyed the inner castle wistfully.
We're gonna die!!!
◇◇◇◆◇◇◇
Luckily, the guard captain recognized Bear Elder, clearing up the misunderstanding. The captain who escorted us into the castle looked pale. Intruders on the wall in broad daylight? Terrifying.
Bit sorry. But apparently bringing me inside was too much—he left me in the front garden and went in alone.
This is plenty. My goal was sightseeing the territory anyway. Couldn't see the village past the walls, but the castle grounds satisfied me.
"So huge."
A grand white castle towered in the center. Beside it, a large mansion; ahead, vast, manicured gardens.
"Whoaaa..."
Even in my past life, I'd never seen a place like this. The city's tech was advanced, but I'd lived in a concrete studio hell. Maybe these folks had better quality of life than me back then? Nah—no internet here. My dopamine levels win.
Yep! Snapped out of my pointless mental victory.
Then, footsteps from behind.
"Ack!"
I locked eyes with someone. A girl about my age. Light gray hair, blue eyes. Dressed in obviously expensive clothes, she had a noble air.
Lives here? Border March's daughter maybe?
The girl spoke.
"B-Barbarian?!"
"..."
What? Barbarian? Who? Me?
"Who're you calling a barbarian!!!"
Objectively, yeah, I was a barbarian. Born that way, no helping it. But I wouldn't tolerate someone else calling me one!
"Bear fist!"
Thonk.
I smashed an enlightenment punch into the noggin of this rude girl who called me a barbarian out of nowhere.
"Kyaa!"
She crumpled, clutching her head, fat tears like chicken droppings welling up.
"Eeeeng... it huuuurts..."
Seeing her sob pitifully snapped me back to reality.
Wait, this is Border March's castle.
And I'd just made who looked like his daughter cry.
Bear Elder's warning echoed: Don't cause any trouble.
"...Ah."
Looked like I'd caused a big mess.