Against My Dazzling Moves, You Can't Do a Thing
At the viewers' suggestion, Choe Seohyeon set a collab date with the other streamers.
On the day of the collab, I slipped into the gallery for the first time in a while and wrote a post about him.
As always, I wrote it from the heart — a fan of Choe Seohyeon first, and the mod only after that.
But.
The comments mostly ran like that. Nothing but attempts to tear me down.
"Haa... Not a single person understands a word I say from the heart..."
It stung a little. My love for Choe Seohyeon, at least, was genuine.
"Well. Maybe it can't be helped anymore."
The image had already set like concrete.
Since things had come to this anyway, I scrolled a little farther down — might as well take the temperature of the gallery before the stream. Partway through, I found a post about Choe Seohyeon.
The community was locked in a full argument over his play. Of course it was. Painting Octopus is built on a simple loop: someone hides, and the seeker finds them. That's why most people choose to hide.
But solving the whole thing with raw mechanics?
"I'm so fucking hyped."
I really was. Just picture it — Choe Seohyeon, on absurd mechanics, toying with the other streamers.
"Kkhh."
The drool hit all at once.
"Yeah. This is what a proper stream looks like."
It had been a long time since I'd looked forward to one of his broadcasts even when he wasn't playing Naopyu.
And besides.
"Choe Haeun. She's in this one too."
Ppulppulpiri. Choe Haeun.
She was joining the collab as well. Which meant—
"Ah, I want to see it."
I wanted to see it so badly. Choe Haeun, toyed with by her own brother until the tears came... The moment I pictured that scene, the water in my mouth blew past a trickle and turned into an outright drool.
"Good."
I waited for the stream, barely able to stand it.
"Popcorn, check. Drinks, check."
Everything worth eating was ready. So all that was left...
"Should I write one more post before I watch?"
The last one must have come up short on sincerity. That had to be why nobody believed me. So this time, I put it up again — for real.
Exactly the reaction I'd expected.
Having drawn about as much of a response as I was after, I smiled and took one last look at the streaming gallery as a whole.
"Mm."
Fortunately, even without me bothering to throw out bait, today's gallery was running itself. A model specimen of a gallery.
"All right, then."
Enough worrying about the gallery. Time to focus on the stream.
"Hello, everyone."
"Hello~."
Ten streamers had gathered in all. I kept Choe Seohyeon's broadcast up and ran the others on my second PC, eyes on every feed at once.
"So, as you all know, today's stream is..."
"We already know. Can we just start the game?"
"Hey, come on. I'm actually in the middle of explaining..."
"You're gonna say that and then coast for ten free minutes. Am I wrong?"
"..."
Hopang, the streamer who'd gathered the collab, seemed to lose the thread entirely and shut his mouth. Live chat shot upward in answer.
Hopang and Yoo Seoa. The pairing that detonated every time they collabed had the room alive from the first minute, and the collab rolled on from there.
"Mm."
On the whole, it was fun. Hard to pin down why — they were all streamers of a certain size, so entertaining scenes just happened on their own.
Hopang tucked himself into an absurdly perfect hiding spot, and Yoo Seoa, unable to find him, was at a complete loss.
"Hey, hey, I told you it's not there. How many more times do I have to explain this?"
"But I can't see it..."
"That's because it's not there. Agh, aagh, this is so frustrating..."
"If it's not here, then where on earth..."
Fweet—! Hopang's whistle cut through again. Even so, Yoo Seoa still couldn't find him.
It was a hell of a scene. In Painting Octopus, a seeker has to tag the hiders by shooting them with a paint gun. But what if the spot is one the seeker can't shoot at all?
"Hey!! That's a spot I couldn't tag in the first place—!!"
"Yeah? If it bothers you, you hide like this too."
"Wow. You are actually pissing me off."
Hopang needling her with perfect smugness, Yoo Seoa hitting maximum rage. The collab, at its core, ran exactly like that.
And then—
"Here we go."
At last, it was Choe Haeun's turn.
"So this time it's Haeun?"
"Yes. Hehe. Everyone, look forward to it. I practiced this for three whole hours on a private stream yesterday, you know?"
"Three hours on a private stream?"
"Boo. I didn't practice."
The moment Choe Haeun openly admitted she'd practiced, everyone started tearing into her.
But.
"Mm. But nobody ever said we weren't allowed to practice."
An airtight, logical rebuttal. Even so, the other streamers kept herding her into the corner of sneaky, of cheating.
And right in the middle of that—
"Oh, right. Didn't Seohyeon say he'd tried this a bit?"
"Yeah. I messed around with it a few days ago, and the viewers kept pushing me to do a Painting Octopus collab."
"Oh, so that's why you agreed?"
"Yeah."
"That's weird, though. Do viewers usually pressure you into collabs like that?"
"I thought it was a little strange too, but they were begging me to just do it. Said if I played it the way I did then, everybody's blood pressure would spike."
"...? What? Blood pressure?"
"Yeah."
The game began. And unlike everything up to now, Choe Seohyeon walked straight out in the open, right toward Choe Haeun.
Most of the viewers didn't seem to understand what he was doing. Neither did Choe Haeun.
"...What are you trying to do right now, Oppa?"
"Shoot."
"What?"
"I said shoot."
Shoot, he told her. Choe Haeun sent him a deeply suspicious look, but she must have made up her mind, because she fired the paint gun right away.
And then.
Exactly like the chat. Choe Seohyeon slipped her paint-gun shot on reflex and prediction alone.
"Wh-what."
Choe Haeun startled. In answer, he swapped his character motion for a pose with both hands planted on his hips and said it like he owned the lobby.
"From now on, I'm dodging every attack you've got."
"...??"
"Come on. Shoot me again."
At the invitation to shoot again, Choe Haeun's eyes narrowed, and she fired.
But.
"Wh-what? You dodged that too?"
Two dodges in a row, and she was plainly starting to panic. The viewers were no different.
Everyone was thrown by Choe Seohyeon's sultry little moves. Thrown how badly?
"W-wait. Is that even allowed?"
Badly enough that Yoo Seoa, watching, asked the entire group. Hopang seemed to think it over for a second, then nodded.
"It's not against the rules."
"I-I mean, it isn't, but..."
It wasn't against the rules. Even so, Yoo Seoa seemed to have more she wanted to say — but Hopang cut her off before she could get it out.
And he did it like this.
"Seoa."
"Yeah?"
"I do feel bad for Haeun, but that... doesn't it kinda seem like it's gonna be fun?"
He tossed it out while asking whether it didn't seem fun.
"Huh?"
At that single line, Yoo Seoa and the rest of the streamers went quiet all at once. Right — the moment a situation unfolded where Choe Haeun was clearly about to suffer, every one of them shut their mouth. A tacit agreement formed, with Choe Haeun the only one who hadn't agreed to it.
"...What is this. Why did everyone suddenly go dead silent?"
Choe Haeun asked what was going on. Not one of the streamers answered her.
Around then, Choe Haeun could feel that something had gone wrong. The situation was already in motion. Right in front of her, Choe Seohyeon cycled through sultry character poses, taunting his little sister.
"..."
"And just like that, you're going to cry and cry."
"...Your way of talking is so fucking infuriating."
The taunt must have landed. Choe Haeun dropped straight into combat mode.
"Die, you bastard—!!!"
She screamed at her brother to die and unloaded the paint gun.
But.
"Mmm, I dodged, didn't I~?"
And where on earth did he learn that one...
Wherever he'd picked up the latest bizarre trick, Choe Seohyeon started running her down in a voice designed to make a person lose their mind.
And Choe Haeun—
"Grrrh—!!!!"
Furious past the point of sense, she locked in so hard her face nearly touched the monitor.
Chat, in a word, was rioting. Between the bewitching way he moved and the way he talked, nobody could get their head on straight.
"Mmm, I dodged, didn't I~? Mmm, I dodged, didn't I~? Mmm, and I'm dodging again, aren't I~?"
"Grrrh!! Hey! Choe Seohyeon!!"
"Mmm, if I do this, your shot just slips right through here, doesn't it~?"
He used the stance from a few days ago — legs flung wide to either side, then a jump — and slipped Choe Haeun's paint gun by a breath.
Every single person in chat was too busy mashing out laughter at his movement to do anything else.
And was it only the viewers?
"Pfft— khk— bwahahaha—!!"
"H-hey, hey, don't laugh, khk..."
No. In the end even the collab streamers couldn't hold it, and the laughter broke loose.
Thirty seconds left until the game ended. Twenty.
"Does that even make any fucking sense?!"
Ten.
"You fucking son of a bitch, Choe Seohyeon—!!"
Five.
"Mmm. Our little Haeun sucks so bad."
One.
And so the game came to an end.
"..."
At those words, Choe Haeun's lips trembled.
"...Haeun?"
Yoo Seoa barely managed to kill the laugh on her face and asked, careful.
And Choe Haeun—
"...AAAAAAAGH——————!!!!"
She was so utterly pissed she slammed the desk as hard as she possibly could.