13. 'Forced FUCK with Mother' Injected Straight into the Brain-Level Humiliation = Dogeza? I Have No Parents! (Proudly)
"It's unfair, so unfair!!!"
"......"
Of course, it wasn't unfair at all. Lily, you were spot on. I was the ninja sent personally by your father, Claudia Archduke, to take you down—the Inari's Shinigami.
Someone might look at me and sneer, "You call yourself the Shinigami, but aren't you embarrassed bawling snot and tears while slamming down your ultimate dogeza?" But nah, not even a little?
I dropped to my knees and bowed my head low to build momentum, that's all...? Sneaky? Embarrassing? Heh, to a ninja, that's all praise.
The only shameful situation for a ninja is one: failing the mission you accepted and slinking away in defeat. Whether from Inari Village or another clan, ninjas live off taking other people's requests. So, to keep existing as a ninja, you need the credit to match.
In a way, ninjas are just mercenaries. Fail a personal request, and it doesn't just tarnish you—it drags down your whole group. That's why any request you accept isn't just some job; it's a must-complete obligation. Fail it, and your clan hits you with murahachi—that shady social lynching ninjas inflict on each other!
Compared to that, just dropping an ultimate dogeza right here is way better...!
The moment I revealed I was a fox beastkin, the two knights guarding Lily's back whipped out their swords.
"Beastkin...!"
"Don't believe a word from this devilish half-beast, my lady! Weren't there assassins with fur just like that before?!"
"No...! I was just bullied and starving up north, so I came south to live like a person! Please, believe me!"
"Shut your trap! You think we'd trust vermin like you?!"
Yeah, whether you believe me or not doesn't matter... What counts is if your 'lady' does. And sure enough, Lily—who'd been glaring daggers at me—suddenly lit up like a kid at Christmas.
Hya, Lily, you're... so damn easy. Thanks for the gullible pussy.
"Whoa... that's not a polymorphed fake face? And fox ears, a tail too... Wow, wow! This is insane."
"S-so you'll believe me...?"
"Of course! Your face makes it believable!"
"My lady, no!!! Don't fall for that filthy beast's lies!"
Aah, so annoying. Your lady says she believes me—what's the problem?
One of the guarding knights, the young guy on Lily's left, started screeching and pointing at me nonstop. The same jerk calling me a devilish half-beast, less than human.
Too much, way too much... What? Beastkin are cruel, violent, and lie through their teeth? That's all slander, hate speech born from prejudice!
..........
Kukuku... Nice instincts. Leave that guy be, and he'll cause trouble. How should I deal with him?
"Sir Jeremy, that's discriminatory speech banned by imperial law. Plenty of beastkin live in the empire... You mocking them all?"
"But it's true those infiltrating half-beasts cause chaos everywhere!"
"......Can you shut your mouth?"
Lily unleashed her aura again, slamming it into Jeremy or whatever in an instant—he dropped to his knees.
"Guh...!"
"My cutie pie's crying! There there, don't cry. Your pretty big sis will rip out all those meanie uncles' tongues."
"I-I just came south from the brutal north to find work... That's all, it's too much, uheheeeeng."
Lily pulled me into her arms, patting my back as I wailed crocodile tears over fake grievances. Whoa, now I get it... This must be the thrill scheming traitors in history felt slandering loyalists to death!
Puhb, puhuhuhu, ahahahat... Total farce. Lily, Lily... you gullible little bitch. Opening your heart this easily.
"You wanna work here? Welcome aboard! Start in my office tomorrow—big sis'll spoil you rotten. Uhuhu..."
"Whoa, really?!"
"No, my lady!! Even if some beastkin are decent, it's not her! She used high-level polymorph to infiltrate the archduke's house without batting an eye! Does that look like normal job-hunting?!!"
Damn, solid reasoning. Yup, polymorph—henge—is rare even up north. Only tanuki pull it off effortlessly. Foxes and cats manage it too, but it takes years of training. But that's just logical inference. Won't sway your lady, puhuhu...
Besides, you guys have no clue how the north works.
"Wh-what? High magic? In my 'tail fox' tribe, this is just basic cantrip stuff!"
"See?!"
"Th-the reason I used henge to sneak in? Jerks like you, uncle! I undid it and did nothing else, but you wanna persecute me just for being beastkin!"
"Exactly! Jeremy's the bad guy!"
"My lady!!!!!"
"Agh, gonna go deaf... Drag him out! Jeremy, six months suspension!"
"My lady, no!!! My lady!!!!!"
"Shut it! Make it paid leave if you keep yapping—be grateful! Take a vacation, cool your head!"
Just like that, Jeremy got hauled out by other knights bursting into the room... Even after he vanished, his "My lady!!!" echoed through the mansion. Probably barking like a dog till the end. Poor loyal pup.
Anyway, sharp guy had me worried how to handle him... But it resolved itself? Scary, my talent as a schemer...!!
"Sorry, you scared? Big sis won't let that uncle say weird stuff again!"
"Uw... B-but we're the same age... Not big sis, right?"
"Oh, really? Tsk... Shame. Dreamed of a cute girl like you calling me sis."
"......Same age or not, should I call you sis?"
"Uheheheng... Nah, better idea. You're working under me anyway, right?"
"......Y-yeah?"
"Th-then... Call me Mas-ter from now on? Uhet."
......For real? She's got issues...
Other servants call her miss or lady. Demanding this pervy title just from me? Sigh... Whatever, give her what she wants.
I squirmed shyly, batted my eyes wide and round, then said to Lily:
"M-Mas-ter...♡"
"Uhyatant... So cuuuute...!!"
See, Kasumi? Seduction's a breeze. Brain-melt pose plus a lil' tongue twist, and she melts. Lily... you brainless slut, pfft. Kukuku, keep your guard down... The day you fully drop it and go defenseless? That's your execution day. Won't even give you time for a haiku—straight to the slaughter!
"You're not seriously believing everything that fox beastkin said, are you, Master?"
"Hm...? Nah, not a word. My Spirit Eyes see right through lies anyway."
"Fair enough."
In the archduke's office that afternoon, with everyone dismissed, only Lily Claudia's voice should have echoed... But another voice lingered in the room.
The spirit—not beast, more like a spirit beast—contracted to Lily. Invisible in its ethereal form, of course.
"So why were you so harsh on that Jeremy kid?"
"Sir Jeremy's sharp—too sharp. But reckless, so he paints a target on himself first."
"......"
"I sidelined him before he rushed to his death. What? You think I look like a total sucker who'd hand him my liver and gall?"
Pfft, fuhat.
"Then that beastkin girl..."
"Ninety percent sure... she's an assassin my dad sent. A strong one—reeks of blood."
The spirit beast relaxed at Lily's words. Truth be told, it'd been worried. Lily was too soft. Look—she spares that monstrous pig of a father, the one sending assassins periodically, just 'cause he's her dad. Soft? More like a pushover.
If only she were a tad colder, crueler, to fit her seat. But the spirit beast chose her soft heart willingly...
Anyway, this time it could rest easy. Well done, Lily Claudia! Spotting the assassin's identity and pretending to fall for it to lower her guard! Now just show that bloodthirsty fox girl the depths of icy hell, and all's good!
With that thought, the spirit beast asked:
"Shall I kill her, Master?"
"Huh? Kill who?"
"The beastkin girl."
"......Who'd do it?"
"Me."
"Hey, hey!!! You rotten whale bastard, you nuts?!?! Why kill my cute fox!!"
"??????"
An incomprehensible reaction from its master. The spirit beast pondered. What'd it miss to get this?
It thought and thought, but even with IQ 53—leagues above other spirit beasts—its whale brain couldn't keep up. 'Cause it wasn't normal human logic!!!
"She's an assassin, so kill her!! What's the problem, Master?!"
"But she's cuuuute!! I'll raise her—assassin or not, I'll tame her!!!"
"Wha?!?!?!!"
"If she's that cute, I can forgive her trying to kill me!!"
"B-but she's an assassin! One slip, and you're dead!!"
"It's fine, I'm the strongest!"
"......Hopeless."
Setting aside that perfect "I'm the strongest" line begging for death...
The spirit beast suddenly thought: When it said "kill her," Lily snapped back "are you crazy?" But hand on heart, she should question if she's crazy first. Yeah, her master's a total sucker...
Damn, she'd give her liver and gall. Ah, right... Not pretending to fall. Her owner's head over heels for that bewitching fox.
With that realization, unease wouldn't leave the spirit beast. How'd it end up with such a quick-to-fall-in-love fool as its master...? It shook its head, chewing quiet regret.