First Collab Jitters
My first collab stream—what Koreans call a hapbang. Not a particularly difficult concept. It just means broadcasting together with another streamer, plain and simple. Corporate newbies like me are usually barred from collabs with anyone outside their batch for a certain period right after debut. I'm not part of the company's management, and even now as a corporate VTuber, I don't know the exact policies or management details, but I can guess the reasons. Newbies need time to build a dedicated fanbase on their own, get used to streaming, avoid losing the thread when tangled up with too many people, prevent their character from solidifying in unintended ways... Anyway, there are all sorts of concerns, and I figure most companies think along similar lines. Of course, some agencies don't have such rules, so this is just one of many cases.
Personally, I think there's no need to outright ban collabs if the streamer has the skills to offset those downsides. Besides, who starts a collab right away with some sudden connection the moment they begin streaming? Sure, if you've streamed before in a past life, you might have lingering ties, but broadcast-wise, it'd come off as totally random. From that angle, someone like me—who has zero connections in the streaming world—wouldn't have anyone to collab with even after restrictions lift. I'd probably just greet my seniors and whoever they bring along.
A ding alarm chimed, and in flew a Discord message from Matsuura-san—one of the few seniors I actually knew and could chat with casually. Aka Saki-senpai. Company policy said to always use activity names even offline to avoid accidentally exposing Discord screens mid-stream, so she called me Tensai.
But... suddenly wanting to talk? I had zero clue why, so a faint unease crept up. Sure, things were amicable with Saki-senpai—more like she unilaterally liked me—but relationships can shatter over the tiniest things.
I fidgeted with my hands over the keyboard, agonizing over a reply.
Her leisurely—or infuriatingly sluggish—DM got a lightning reply. One of my gripes with this body: my typing was abysmally slow. Main reason? These ridiculously tiny hands. Koreans liken small hands to baby fists; Japanese to kitten paws—hence all the idioms. Mine were so small, it made perfect sense. Hitting keys precisely was no easy feat.
Next up: discomfort typing Japanese. Or call it muscle memory? My fingers naturally moved for Hangul, like some soul-deep habit lingered despite this body having no such history. Even consciously stopping it posed issues. Take "Saki-senpai" (咲先輩): I'd English-type "sakisenpai" first, then convert to kanji—an awkward rigmarole since English input felt alien.
Conversions were easier; common words topped the list, so picking the first usually nailed it. VTubers often had rare kanji names, so those needed care. Layer all that atop this body's unfamiliarity with computers, and my typing speed was a nightmare.
Clicking the link dropped me into a temp channel. Only Saki-senpai was there, which puzzled me. Why not just DM if it was one-on-one? Shrugging it off, I slowly pecked out:
No plans anyway, so I waited, idly tending my mobile game. Then someone joined. Nanoha-senpai? Nope. The name staring back was one I'd never dreamed of: Sharu-san.
"Eh."
Saki-senpai—oblivious to my dumbfounded stare—tossed that irresponsible line and bolted, leaving just me and Sharu-san (aka Charlotte). Then the chat bar taunted: "Sharu is typing..."
...Why the hell...? Total stranger... Wait, we'd crossed paths once. Still, no real talk ever. Stuck alone with an older broadcaster—likely a senior's acquaintance—I had no idea what to say. My chest tightened, head spun.
......
"Tensai-chan, you sound kinda down? You okay?"
"N-No need to worry about this body."
Charlotte Abe Whatever—long-winded name, glamorous dress screaming high-society, princess title aside—spoke in a surprisingly casual, down-to-earth tone. Tomboy princess vibe? The "princess" bit stemmed more from early stream memes than RP, which tracked.
Her small-talk jabs battered me defenseless, like Icarus blinded by the sun. I knew I needed proper replies, but thoughts wouldn't cohere. Was this okay? Would it sound weird? Timing slipped away in overthinking.
Chatting with near-strangers—even through monitors—was this brutal. I sighed off-mic.
"Oh, game queued. Helheim, huh... Hate this map. What're you picking, Tensai-chan? Brest? You crushed it last time. Gonna carry us today too?"
"Y-Yes, that it is... B-But. This body is Dr. Tensai, not Tensai-chan—"
"Nice to meet ya~ Huh? What'd you say?"
"N-Nothing at all."
My brave words drowned in her chipper in-game voice greeting. Hearing her ask to repeat snuffed my candle-flicker courage; I gave up.
A glance at chat: a grassland flood. More viewers than usual scrolled at breakneck speed, mocking my pathetic flailing—my grunts sans replies, low energy, tiny voice. Laughing at Sera calling me "commu-sho" (communication disorder). Sera... Saionji Sera-senpai? Guess my name came up on her stream. No denying it. With women, yeah, I had commu-sho bad. A guy? I'd chat way smoother...
"Tensai-chan, no doctor voice today? Your normal one's cute too, but last time you did that ikemen voice1 with cool lines."
"Guhk."
"'Your voice is so cute. Like an adorable kitten.' Or..."
"Kuhuuuh..."
I writhed in agony. Why'd past-me spew that deranged crap? Must've lost it meeting a cute-voiced teammate after so long.
Relentless shame-violence battered me till Charlotte laughed: "Teasing's over... But seriously, carry us?"
"...Leave it to this body. I'll repay my earlier blunders with victory for you."
"Ooh, cool~"
Deep breath. I wiggled my hands, mustering focus. Chat: chuuni vibes lol... Who're you calling chuuni? Sure, it sounded that way, and I dug the bravado. But in-game, even this motormouth might quiet down.
Focus on the game, catch my breath, memorize response patterns for later chats—like rehearsing food orders pre-app era.
"Ughk."
1Ikemen voice: A deep, handsome "hunk" voice.