My Place in This World
Once my conversation with the branch director was over, I headed back to the lodging.
I had new work ahead of me, but nothing so urgent that it couldn't wait. I flopped onto the bed, stretched out long and slow, and stared up at the ceiling. Then I slipped a hand into my coat and drew out the Master Card.
I turned the card over in my fingers, tracing the gold thread that adorned it, before letting my arm fall limp and surrendering my weight to the mattress.
Winter's cold air slipped through the window and filled the room. I grabbed the blanket and burrowed underneath it. After a small yawn, I turned my head toward the window.
Bare branches swayed in the wind, and little birds flitted about. Beyond them, Antico's flags hung from the rooftops, painting the scene like a landscape. And I was part of that picture now.
I had melted into this world completely — my original world forgotten. Because the time I was living now shone far more brilliantly than anything I had left behind.
"……."
I lay still, gaze fixed, not moving an inch. A small guilt over forgetting my original world settled heavily on me. At times like this, staying quiet was the best medicine.
Before I knew it, the day had faded, and I finally dragged myself out of bed. Soft light spilled from the windows of the buildings outside. The sun had tucked itself away earlier than usual. As the sunset drained from the sky, moonlight slanted down from the left, bathing the earth below. The white world caught that light and poured it across the streets, bright and clear. Nights after snowfall were never dim — they were startlingly luminous.
I crossed those bright streets in search of a restaurant, my stomach growling. I wasn't in the mood for anything lavish, so dinner was a simple stew, and that was that. Then I returned to the lodging, stepped into the bathroom, and turned the faucet.
Water gushed out and began to fill the wooden tub. I stood before it and looked into the mirror.
White hair. Pink eyes. The exact face of the character I had customized in the game, reflected back at me. My body was pale and slender, almost delicate — and marked with more than a few scars. Glorious scars for a hunter. Despairing ones for a failed hero.
I traced them one by one with my fingertips. Scars I had carved myself. Scars I had not. Counting them carefully, I learned the history written into this body.
Facing myself again, I felt none of the old revulsion. I parted my lips and made a small sound.
"Aaah."
Even this voice was familiar now. This body had become my body. Through countless battles and endless movement, the tuning was complete.
I pulled the corners of my mouth into a smile.
You've lost a lot of that venom of yours.
Have I?
I studied my face. Still full of that same spiteful edge. Buried inside me was the trauma of having lost everyone — not my story, of course, but hers. Even so, I was thoroughly under her influence.
Still, my heart had felt lighter lately. I wasn't the only one being changed by the warmth of the people in this world. Our wounds were growing new flesh here.
I lifted the corners of my mouth again and smiled. It was a lighter smile than the forced ones I used to wear.
"Hmm."
I nodded and let the smile fall away.
We're still on course. You're satisfied enough, I imagine.
But still.
When I meet Miteraos — can I win?
Will we be able to return to the worlds we each want?
I groaned at my reflection in the mirror. Even bringing down the yeti Neveumano felt a little daunting right now. In the wasteland, I'd had endless support and help, and Disastro had fallen easily enough — but Neveumano could be different. What variables were waiting for me?
A sudden wetness at my toes made me look down. Water had filled the tub and was spilling over the rim. The mirror that had held my reflection was slowly fogging over with steam.
I shut the faucet tight and picked up a ladle. Scooping a full measure of water from the tub, I poured it over my head, washing away the unclean things that had settled on me.
Shaaaa—.
The warm water left my body loose and heavy with ease.
Pina returned to the lodging around noon the next day. Her face was quite haggard — not the look of someone who had been resting.
Curious, I asked her about it.
"You sure you were resting?"
"Nooo…."
Pina shook her head, looking utterly drained.
"My mom runs a shop, so I spent the whole time cleaning up and helping out. I was busy forever."
"What kind of shop?"
"Just a little restaurant tucked in a corner of the commercial district. We get a decent number of customers, but we're short on hands — that's the problem."
Pina flopped onto the bed and flailed her arms.
"Aah, I missed this bed so much. This lodging…!"
So Pina's mother ran a restaurant. There was still so much I didn't know.
"Why didn't you say so? Want to go eat there sometime?"
"I'd love that. My mom's cooking is seriously good, you know."
Pina stretched long, then spun herself in a full circle on her side, then pulled the blanket over her body until she was rolled up like a kimbap.
I watched her for a moment, then something occurred to me and I reached into my coat.
"Oh, right. Pina. I've got something to show you."
"What is it?"
"Ta-da—."
What I pulled out was the Master Card.
Pina, who had only been tilting her head from where she lay, took one look at the card and sat bolt upright, scooting closer.
"Oh… ohhh…!"
She gasped like someone thoroughly moved.
"Th-that's a Master Card! C-can I touch it just once? W-will it wear out?"
Pina hesitantly stretched out her hand.
Come on. It's not going to wear out from a touch.
I readily set the card in her palm.
"Go ahead."
"Wow…. The material itself is completely different. Honestly, I always believed you'd become a Master Hunter, Alice."
Pina returned the card to me and made a show of wiping away tears.
"This is truly moving. Watching from the sidelines, I really…."
"It's thanks to your help, Pina."
"Is that so?"
Pina smiled shyly. Then, in a careful tone, she said,
"Alice… you've found your rightful place."
"…Well. Something like that."
Was this my rightful place? I had been a Master Hunter originally, so climbing back to Master Hunter in seven months wasn't strange. A veteran can only pretend to be a newbie for so long before it shows.
"How does it feel?"
How did it feel. I shrugged at the question.
"Honestly, it was so inevitable that I just feel… normal about it."
"I know you're right, but that answer is incredibly full of itself."
"A little annoying?"
"Yes."
Sob. I shed silent tears at Pina's brutal honesty. She looked at my downturned mouth and chuckled.
"But that's just how you are, Alice."
Having said that, she brightened and asked one more thing, eyes sparkling.
"So now that you're a Master Hunter, did the Association give you anything?"
"They did."
"Th-they did? What is it?"
I had no idea what she was hoping for. Maybe she just wanted to live vicariously through me. With the air of someone delivering a death sentence, I told her.
"I got a commission instead."
"……Huh."
Pina's excitement drained away, and one eyebrow twitched.
"A c-commission…. We just took down Disastro and came back, and there's already another commission? You're not joking, right?"
I nodded at her disgruntled question.
"They found tracks of what looks like another Supreme-grade monster — somewhere other than the wasteland."
"Don't these monsters ever get tired of it…."
Tell me about it. They show up only to die anyway.
Pina sighed and sank heavily onto the bed.
"Then the kingdom's in danger again…?"
"You've got it."
"And we have to kill it again?"
"That's right."
Pina broke into a cold sweat.
There was no perfect way for monsters and humans to coexist. Unless both sides simply ignored each other, someone had to die. That was the chain of this world's ecosystem. Humans weren't sitting at the top of everything. Humans were the ones protecting their own bodies. Kill or be killed — that was exactly what this relationship meant.
Pina seemed deeply reluctant about heading back into anomalous territory.
"Is it at least better than the wasteland…? While we were there, my throat got so dry I thought I was going to die. When I spat, sand came out."
"Hmm. Was it that bad?"
"Why are you acting like it wasn't? You said the same thing, Alice! Your throat hurt so much you said you needed a mask."
Fair enough. I nodded vaguely in agreement.
"So where are we going…? It's been so cold lately — I was hoping for somewhere warm! Pretty soon we won't be able to survive without Thermal Powder, just like in summer."
Even now, Pina was full of hopeful thoughts. Those hopes crumbled to dust the moment I spoke.
"We're heading to a highland where the snow never melts."
"Ah. I see. No — why does nothing ever go the way I want? Why can't I ever be happy…."
Yeah. It was kind of amazing, really. Pina's predictions almost never came true.
I offered her something that wasn't quite comfort.
"Don't worry. The Association said they'd load us up with plenty of Thermal Powder."
"I don't think that's the problem…."
Pina groaned, fretting over the future ahead. Her worries were mostly pointless. Whatever appeared in front of us, I was confident I could cut it all down with my own hands.
I raised my index and middle fingers and held them out toward her.
"Just trust me."
"……."
Why no answer.