The Hand That Should Have Been Held
Mathias, who had been kept away under the pretext of receiving an education, returned only after three full days had passed.
“The basic education has been completed successfully. The boy is exceptionally clever and learns at a remarkable pace. We had originally planned a week of training before field assignment, but he finished the course far earlier than expected.”
“I see.”
“Yes. He is bright and quick with his hands, so I believe he will serve the young lady without any shortcomings in the future.”
“Thank you for your consideration, Madam Mcdalin.”
“Not at all. Should any inconvenience arise, please inform me at once.”
Odeliana knew that speaking of inconvenience would amount to nothing more than futile complaints. She answered Madam Mcdalin’s kind offer to tell her anything with a smile and sent the woman away. She would have liked to dismiss the knights assigned as escorts, but she doubted the head maid would resolve the matter. The pitying glances, laden with sympathy, had also grown burdensome.
“Welcome back, Mathias. The clothes suit you well.”
With his hair neatly trimmed and every trace of grime scrubbed away, now dressed in the black tunic and brown trousers worn by squires, he looked so refined it was hard to believe he had come from the slums.
The way the other maids blushed while staring at him was entirely understandable. The makings of a man who would one day set the social world abuzz could not be hidden.
“Have you been here all day?”
“It is where I will be staying from now on.”
Mathias quietly surveyed the room. A low chuckle escaped him at the sight of the miserable space that held nothing but a lone bed and some bedding.
“This is worse than the servants’ quarters.”
“I was told it was originally an abandoned building left unused. They hurriedly repaired and cleaned it when they learned I was coming, and this is the result.”
“Does such treatment not anger you?”
“Why should it? I never expected any special treatment to begin with. If anything, this is quite tolerable.”
“……”
“It seems this place does not please you. Still, is it not better than the shack where you once lived?”
“I would not mind sleeping in the middle of the street, but such a shabby place is entirely unfit for Master.”
Well, compared to the stable-like room where she had first opened her eyes, even this was luxurious, so there was nothing shocking about it.
“Are you disappointed?”
“In what?”
“In my circumstances.”
“I am not disappointed, though I am somewhat shocked. It seems your treatment is far worse than I imagined.”
She found herself newly curious what reaction Mathias would have shown had he directly witnessed what she endured at the Hirschberg Forest villa. If even this level of treatment shocked him, seeing her confined in a cramped room covered in filth might have made him sense the hopelessness of the situation and flee.
“I actually think it is for the best. This place is far quieter and more secluded than I expected. No one comes looking for me. Not even my family. So I rather like it. I have no desire for their attention, and I detest noise above all things.”
She was not simply forcing herself to find a hopeful angle.
At first the blatant neglect had left her dumbfounded, but after spending several days here she had grown fond of the quiet, cozy atmosphere.
“I like that it is an environment where I can focus solely on you without needing to mind others’ gazes. Had I stayed in the main building, there would have been many constraints.”
It would be far more convenient for preparing for the knight examination. There were only five servants in total, and though guards stood outside the house, they literally only watched the exterior and paid little heed to internal affairs. Whatever she did here, what would they know?
“If that is how you feel, then I understand.”
“Your expression has suddenly brightened.”
“Hearing it explained, it does not seem so bad after all.”
“Doesn’t it? The main building has so many people coming and going that I could not devote my full attention to you.”
“Indeed. Since this is such a remote place, no one would know no matter what happened here.”
It was a shame they were not the only two present. The added remark carried clear regret. The existence of the mere five servants seemed to irritate him greatly. Well, he had always been a child who clearly preferred his own domain. He had liked wandering alone far more than mingling with crowds.
At this point there were even jokes that he enjoyed solitude. Having no friends, no beloved, no family—being alone might have seemed pitiable, yet perhaps because of his dazzling appearance, even that was packaged as him being selective with his relationships.
In truth it was simply because his personality was severely lacking in social skills.
“In any case, we will continue to stay here from now on, and you will be responsible for my overall daily life. Leave the chores to the other children. You need only remain at my side and attend to me. Also, I asked my second brother to obtain a knight’s manual. I must prepare for the knight examination to be held this summer.”
“Since Master herself would not sit the knight examination, I assume you intend to make this disciple a knight.”
“Do you dislike the idea?”
“Not particularly.”
His attitude suggested it made no difference to him. Most would have reacted by saying it was absurd for a commoner to even attempt the knight examination, yet he seemed strangely at ease.
“Are you not nervous? The chance of someone who is neither noble nor the child of a wealthy merchant passing the knight examination is as rare as beans in a drought.”
“Then what does Master think?”
“Hm?”
“Do you believe this disciple will meet your expectations and pass the knight examination?”
In the blink of an eye he drew close, naturally settling beside the bed and taking Odeliana’s hand in his, toying with it.
His countenance was so noble it would not have seemed strange even if he were the true master of the room. For a mere squire to climb onto his master’s bed was a clear breach of etiquette, yet far from appearing vulgar it somehow looked like an endearing prank—a talent in itself.
Was it his charming, handsome appearance, or because the common-born woman wearing the shell of nobility was so far removed from true dignity? Odeliana quietly regarded the large hand enveloping her own before she smiled.
“You will live up to my expectations. If it is you.”
Odeliana’s slender, delicate fingers wove between his in return. The boy who had been exuding such nonchalance stared intently at the woman’s hand that coiled around his own like a snake.
“My expectations for you are high.”
“……”
“Because I know that if it is you, you can rise even higher. You are far too valuable a child to waste away as a squire. Therefore, I intend to raise you to great heights. To repay the promise I made you, I will place you in a position so high that no one will dare disregard you.”
“You have excellent discernment.”
“Yes. The only thing this worthless person possesses is these eyes that recognized your worth. I trust my judgment. Therefore I will certainly keep the promise I made to you. If so, then you……”
Strength flowed into Odeliana’s fingertips as they gripped Mathias’s fingers. She bound his hand like a shackle, as if she would never let go.
“What can you do for me?”
“Well, what would Master like to receive from this disciple?”
He drew his body flush against hers while firmly clutching her hand. His face was now directly before her. His eyes, youthful yet not entirely innocent, flashed with sharp light.
“What shall this disciple offer you?”
The arrogant tone suggested he could place anything into her grasp. Yet it was strangely affectionate. The devil’s whisper promising to bring her everything she desired if only she would speak sounded almost like a plea. It created the illusion of a wish to be allowed to do for her all that he could.
The clever child knew he was being used, yet rejoiced in the very heart that sought to use him. At that realization Odeliana’s shoulders trembled ever so slightly.
“Give me yourself.”
“……”
“Give me the you who holds the world beneath his feet.”
The hand that Master should have held first was not that man’s, but this disciple’s.
“……As you said, this time I held your hand.”
At her softly murmured words, he remained silent for a moment, then closed his eyes and whispered in a voice so faint that Odeliana could not hear.
“You did well.”