Chapter 72
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Translator: MadScientist
Chapter: 72
Chapter Title: Ogre Raid
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They'd been waiting for quite a while, but there wasn't even a glimpse of the ogre. The adventurers, who had been on high alert with weapons at the ready, started to relax bit by bit. Some lit bonfires, while others hid in the bushes and lay down.
"Heh, the fire's nice and warm."
"Warm makes me sleepy."
"Let's take a quick nap, guys."
"Kid. Sing us a song."
"No way, why me?"
It was the picture of a disorganized Tang Dynasty army with zero discipline. Some faces were flushed red, suggesting they'd probably swapped the water in their canteens for booze.
Are these guys on a high school field trip or what? Why does everyone look so damn happy?
"They look fucking thrilled, those bastards."
Well, adventurers weren't soldiers to begin with—they'd just come for the ogre hunt—so whatever bullshit they pulled didn't really matter. But if they got ambushed in this state, they'd be lucky to salvage their bones.
—Yawn.
A yawn escaped me in the lazy atmosphere.
"...Think this ogre prick isn't coming?"
I was starting to slack off myself.
My body was going all limp and relaxed.
"...Snore, snore."
Kobson, who had bragged about spotting the ogre first for the bounty, was nodding off by midday.
Having so many people was both a pro and a con. The thought of "with this many around, it'll be fine" was making everyone drop their guard.
Claudia, sitting on my lap, chimed in.
"Who knows? If it were a desert ogre, that wouldn't happen. If you think they're the same type of monster, then this ogre will show up."
"Yeah? What were the desert ones like?"
"Desert ogres... the ones I hunted were incredibly greedy and violent. Super prideful too. They wouldn't just let a bunch of tiny humans invade what they see as their turf."
Large monsters often had that trait. The bigger they were, the more inflated their egos and the nastier their tempers. No reason to hold back their annoyance when they were that strong.
To an ogre, humans must look like utterly pathetic specks. Hit 'em and they die. Small, so crush 'em. That's all there was to it. Seeing those worthless pests filling up its living room? Natural instinct would be to smash them flat.
Especially if they were throwing a damn booze party.
"Probably hit us at night? As the king of monsters, it's not dumb. But these other adventurers look pretty stupid. Smells like booze too. Total rejects. Bunch of pathetic losers... maybe they'll at least draw its attention."
Claudia scanned the surroundings with a look of disgust. An expression she'd never show me... but it was adorable. I pulled her waist in tight to calm her down.
"Eep."
"Relax. They're just alcoholics... but hard to trust 'em like this. Lying there, they'd pop like balloons if stepped on."
I turned to glance at the watchtower. The lady was standing there arms crossed, vigilantly scanning the area. The soldier holding an umbrella over her looked exhausted.
Below the tower, soldiers had pitched small tents and were resting in neat ranks and files, properly disciplined. They looked like the real deal—the core force for this extermination.
"Hmm."
Honestly, this adventurer squad might just be cheap meat shields they'd hired on the low. One silver was big bucks to a bum like me, but pocket change to them. That "base pay of 1 silver" was probably bait.
Spend a little coin to throw adventurers out front as fodder, then have the soldiers and lady finish it off to minimize losses.
That way, they get the fame of "[The Lady of Isbrandt Slays the Ogre Threatening the City's Economy]" with barely any downside.
Seemed like that from every angle. Adventurers would dive in headfirst for just one silver. I shared these thoughts with Claudia.
"Smart thinking. I've been wondering what you were pondering while staring at the lady. That's what it was? People who think are always commendable."
"Heh, so you were bothered I was looking at the lady."
"Wh-what? N-no, not that."
"Don't worry. No other woman catches my eye but you. Why? 'Cause you're the most beautiful. You're my goddess."
For starters, the age gap. Like the difference between a mortal and an immortal. She really did feel divine.
Beyond that, elven beauty was beyond imagination. I could probably take a gut stab, see her face, and die smiling.
"..."
Claudia went quiet on my lap, then turned toward me. That position—like cowgirl but sitting... wait, Claudia? Here of all places?
Her face flushed, she stared into my eyes with a seductive gaze. The pattern lovers fall into when close... oh no, not here!
"W-wait, Kobson's right..."
I brought up Kobson. He was snoring away, bubble from his nose and all. Who knew that was real.
"It's fine. He's asleep."
"But if the ogre shows..."
"It's fine. My ears are always open."
I'd thought Claudia got shy about overt stuff unless we were alone, but was I wrong? Fuck! Even so, not here! I didn't want anyone seeing her like this!
"Haa... just a kiss? Please?"
"Okay."
Kiss only was fine.
"Don't worry. I won't do that stuff unless we're alone. Not something to show off anyway..."
"Got it."
I kissed Claudia. My dick swelled like it was gonna burst. It strained so hard against my pants it might rip through. The pressure hurt.
Kobson had face-planted into the dirt, dead asleep. Tense all morning waiting for the ogre, but past noon with no sign, he crashed.
"Mmm, ahh... haa..."
Beside him, Claudia and I shared lips, then tongues. The bushes were tall—no one would spot us. Claudia hugged my neck tight, grinding her hips down on my waist. My pants felt ready to explode, bat swinging free.
The pseudo-fucking was heating up.
—Fwoosh!
"Whoa!"
Suddenly a small fireball flew in. I shoved Claudia off in shock. Saliva strung out like a thread... no, that's not the point!
The fireball slammed into a nearby tree, scorching the bark. Sizzle—black smoke billowed. Magic.
What the? Ambush? Ogre mage? As those questions hit, I looked toward the shot. Someone stood there. The attacker was—
"You blackie... horny mutt—bitch?"
—Winia.
She'd run off earlier but was back.
"What the hell are you doing with everyone around?!"
Winia's face twisted in fury as she glared. Chills ran down my spine. I tried to speak but words failed. Panicking, I reached to pull Claudia close.
"Oh?"
But Claudia hopped off my lap lightly and stood before Winia.
"Who're you? What's your deal with blackie?"
"Me?"
They faced off. Claudia over 170cm towered over Winia's barely 150cm. Surprisingly, though, Winia's chest was higher up (pointless emphasis).
"Didn't I tell you earlier? Oh, wasn't specific. Let me explain again. I'm Catt's girlfriend. And stop calling Catt 'blackie.' It's unpleasant."
"Girlfriend...!"
Winia clenched her fists. Her staff trembled in her grip.
You goddamn bitch!
That pissed her off so much?! I balled my fists too at her unbelievable spite. She was messing with my happiness! Pest!
I was furious. And burst out laughing.
"Ha, ha—hahahahaha!!"
I jumped up and pointed at Winia, yelling.
Impossible in the old days. But now I had Claudia as backup. Backing makes you bold. Couldn't stop laughing.
"Winia!"
I declared firmly.
All the pent-up feelings, unleashed at Winia.
"I'm no longer your slave!"
Memories flashed: years of abuse from Winia since our first F-rank meeting. Time to break free. Like a chick hatching, I needed rebirth.
"So it won't go your way anymore!"
It was the cry of the Steel Horde itself.
"Blackie...! Got a girlfriend and now you're all high and mighty...!"
Furious Winia ground her teeth and raised her staff.
Fireball gathered in the gem. Full blast? She was monster enough to do it. Sensing doom, I dove—shit, tension too high, gonna get fucked again.
"—Said not to call him blackie."
Claudia grabbed Winia's wrist and twisted. Casting canceled. Winia grimaced in pain.
"Ack! Let, let go! Hurts! What does it matter what I call him?!"
"Told you. Unpleasant."
"Agh! My wrist! Ow!"
"And that's no way to call someone else's boyfriend."
Go Claudia!
I wanted to applaud!
Wished I could circle them dancing the Compass of Joy from Teacher Seolun.
"How's a, a blackie like him get a girl like you...!"
"Oh my?"
Claudia released her arm and smiled softly.
"No way... our little mage. Are you jealous?"
"J-jealous?!"
Winia's face turned persimmon red. Huge insult. She rapid-fired back.
"D-do I look like I'd stoop to that?! Just pissed you're doing that shit anywhere! Crazy?! Horny?! What the fuck are you doing?!"
"Hmm... should we go deeper in then? Out of sight. That work?"
"Not what I meant!"
"Then what?"
"Th-this...!"
Winia glared at me.
"Blackie! Explain! Who the hell is she?!"
"Hehe."
Arrows turned to me. Claudia stepped behind excited Winia, slinked to me. Snake-like arms wrapped my waist. Hand slipped under my shirt, caressing my chest.
"Hngh!"
I moaned like a girl. Fingers brushed my nipple.
"What else...!"
"Will you leave now? Don't wanna be interrupted. Like you said, we'll go 'inside' for it."
"Haaaaah!!!"
I shuddered at the ticklish pleasure. Claudia kneaded my firm pecs hard. Winia trembled too. From rage, she spun and fled.
"Grk!"
Second panty run.
Clear victory for us.
"Blackie moron! Motherfucking bastard! Horny dog!"
Her defeated cries Doppler-shifted into the air.
Love's power was great indeed. Love repelled the ugly monster once more.
I thrilled at the feat. Mostly nipple-wise. Claudia toyed with them relentlessly.
"Haaaang!!!"
My pathetic moan echoed. Finally, she pulled her hand out and muttered.
"...Did I go too far?"
Nah, not at all.