Chapter 535
Chapter 535
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Translator: MadScientist
Chapter: 535
Chapter Title: What the Hell is This?
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Isvant really was different, starting with the air itself.
Stepping down from the carriage, I took a deep breath of that refreshing breeze and launched into some stretches. As vitality seeped into my weary mind, energy began bubbling up all through my body.
Home really was the best.
"Man, I'm fucking exhausted."
Everything was great, but long-distance business trips were mentally and physically draining no matter what. I hadn't gotten to fool around with Karin or Lisha either, so my lust for them had piled up to bursting point. It was rough.
No matter how hard Claudy and Winia tried to help, my sexual cravings had swollen way out of control. I wouldn't calm down until I railed every last one of my wives... I wanted to get home fast.
Above all, I was dying to train in the backyard.
Stuck in that Audville lodging, all I could do was indoor workouts, leaving my body stiff and sore. Still, I'd gained some real martial gains from this job, so I was satisfied on that front.
—Practical use of the Executive Fist Technique.
A little more practice, and I'd be able to use it smoothly. A true warrior had to master not just weapon arts, but bare-handed combat too.
"Katt, you heading straight to the church?"
Claudy asked while stretching.
I planned to go right away, yeah.
"Yeah. I'll be quick. Head in and rest up first."
"Okay. Sounds good."
Claudy flashed a smile and planted a kiss on my cheek.
"Heh heh heh, you not tired, Claudy?"
"Mmm... I barely slept last night since we didn't do it. Gonna crash once I'm inside."
"I'll make tonight count, so look forward to it."
"Hee hee hee, can't wait then. Hurry back?"
"You bet."
I finished sorting the luggage and said goodbye to the coachman.
Once that was done, Winia grabbed my backpack.
"Hand over the bag, blackie."
"It's heavy, you sure?"
"This? Heavy? Don't you dare detour after the church—straight home."
Winia grabbed my cheeks with both hands and made me promise.
With how hard I was throbbing right now, like hell I'd detour.
"I'll come right back, so wait for me. Oh, need anything? I can grab stuff on the way back from the church."
"Hmm, yeah—get some snacks for when you get home."
I'd made a good haul anyway, so swinging by the bakery would be easy.
"Alright, be back soon."
I sent them home first, then headed to the church.
The demon incident in Audville? Completely resolved. And in less than two weeks, no less. Saintess Cardia would definitely give me high marks for that.
I'd even wrapped up all the paperwork perfectly.
Wondering just how much reward I'd get, I let my imagination run wild and before I knew it, I'd arrived at the church.
She wouldn't happen to be out today, would she?
"Welcome, Quasi-Priest."
A priest standing in front of the church greeted me, so I grinned wide and waved. Didn't know his name, but I'd seen his face plenty.
"Ah, been well?"
"Of course. What brings you here today?"
"Gotta pass a message to the Saintess. She in?"
"Yes, she is. Come on in."
The Brass Celestial Society church might as well have been our master bedroom.
I went straight inside, stated my business, and waited in the reception room. I pulled out my report and prepped my spiel when a nun came in.
"Quasi-Priest. The Saintess says to come up to her room."
"Got it?"
High-ranking folks made you come to them, after all.
"The Saintess has been complaining of fatigue from overwork. Seems like she lacks the energy to move. She's been swamped since she arrived. She's even skimping on sleep for the world's peace. That's why she wants you to come up."
"Heh heh heh, the Saintess, huh?"
She'd said she was buried in work before—looked like overwork had caught up.
She'd even told me about it last time.
Competent leaders had to shoulder the load so their underlings could breathe easy. She had a bit of an authoritarian streak, sure, but she was definitely a good person.
"This way, then."
"Sure."
I followed the nun up to Saintess Cardia's room.
I'd been there once before, so no issues.
—Knock knock knock.
"Saintess. I've brought the Quasi-Priest."
The nun knocked and spoke, and a faint voice replied from inside.
Sounded like "come in."
"She says go ahead. Excuse me."
"Thanks. You too, Sister."
The nun delivered the message and left promptly.
—Creeeak.
I turned the knob and stepped inside.
—Whoosh.
A fresh floral scent wafted over as soon as I opened the door.
Perfume... nice stuff.
"The Quasi-Priest is here. I've been waiting."
"Oh."
There sat Saintess Cardia in an outfit that'd make anyone blush, twirling a pen at her desk.
Her golden, lustrous hair hung loose and unkempt, but it looked decent enough catching the sunlight. Whatever—alone in her room, no need to fuss with it.
But right now, she was only wearing a crisp white dress shirt.
—Plump.
Her full breasts strained violently against the fabric. Her curves were on full display, to the point I worried the buttons might pop.
Seemed like I caught a glimpse of a black bra... and down below, just panties?
"Took about two weeks, huh. Faster than I expected. Let's hear the report first. Sit, Quasi-Priest."
"R-Right, of course. But Saintess."
"What?"
"Your... outfit's a bit, uh, revealing?"
Even in her own room, this was too defenseless with me here.
Trained by four wives though I was, even I couldn't help but stare for a second.
Karin lounged around like this on days off, and I'd pin her down and strip her panties off—the vibe was triggering memories.
"Heh. Can't take your eyes off this Saintess's beauty? Well, the Saintess uniform is stifling. Buried in daily drudgery, might as well get comfy in my room. Guess you've gotten a bonus view by accident."
Saintess Cardia set down her pen, scooted her chair back, leaned in comfortably, and crossed her legs while speaking. Shame I couldn't spot the panty color.
...She wasn't even wearing any?
"Heh heh heh, you're right. Gotta be comfy at home. Anyway, time for my report on resolving the incident."
I was rock hard and losing it, but I forced a smile and held it together. One day in the carriage without relief, and I felt like I might die.
This stimulation was too much.
"Full of confidence, eh? Report away."
I pulled out the official resolution documents from Audville and my own report from my pocket. Her eyes widened at the hefty stack.
"Ho ho?"
Looked like she approved.
"Take a look. I tidied it all up neat as can be."
"You handled all the paperwork too? Impressive. I love it."
She reached out and started reading through each document slowly.
"I gathered intel myself, then coordinated with the city guard to wipe them out on-site."
I timed my supplementary explanations perfectly.
"Paperwork usually takes time, but we split the credit with the guards to speed it through. Oh, but the incident itself? Fully resolved. Talked to the mayor myself. All identified demons eliminated."
"..."
"Hell, the city even gave me a commendation. Heh heh heh. Citizens were cheering. Boosted the Brass Celestial Society's rep big time."
I pulled out the commendation and set it on the desk.
She shut her mouth, her face turning serious as she toyed with her lips and stared me down.
"...Saintess?"
"Hmm."
Meeting her gaze, she finally spoke.
"Excellent. Truly excellent. You've got a real knack for writing, Quasi-Priest. Good work. Handled it perfectly. Easy to read, hits all the points. And a commendation on top? Honestly impressive."
"Heh heh heh, thanks for the praise."
She seemed genuinely pleased with my handling.
As she read, I answered her questions, explaining the child serial killer takedown and the labor reformer duped by demons.
She nodded along, heard me out, then stamped the documents.
"You know this Saintess is swamped with work?"
She filed the papers in a desk drawer, brushed out her long back-hair, and asked.
"Plain as day. You work too hard, Saintess."
"The reason? Short-staffed across the board. Expanding our forces is one of my biggest headaches lately."
Troops were always in short supply. Like that time the company commander dumped everything on one platoon—how the hell were we supposed to manage?
Damn, old memories flooding back.
"Frankly, producing even one Holy Knight and one priest—ones ready for field deployment—takes ages and costs a fortune. Devout, righteous, and competent? Rare as hen's teeth."
She uncrossed and recrossed her legs. Staring at those long legs and firm thighs had my throat going dry.
I was losing my mind.
Wanted to bolt home to my wives' arms.
"You're an outstanding talent, Quasi-Priest. Never dreamed you'd wipe out city-hiding demons in two weeks. I figured at least a month."
Of course, that was thanks to Hildegaard's help. Without her, it really would've taken a month. But that's top secret—nothing to do with me.
"Solving it so fast was shocking enough, but perfect cleanup too? Spotless paperwork, coordinating with city authorities... Flexible, efficient, top-notch."
"Saintess?"
"And righteous heart with solid morals to boot."
...Why was she hyping me up like this?
All facts, though—no rebuttal.
"You've more than earned your qualification exam."
Qualification exam?
"You fit this Saintess's ideal recruit perfectly."
She nodded to herself and called me over.
"What do you say, Quasi-Priest?"
"Pardon?"
"Care to work under me?"
Say what now?
I froze, thinking I'd misheard.
"Clear hatred for evil. Ironclad morals. Pragmatic flexibility. Authority savvy. Better than most Holy Knights."
"W-Wait, Saintess! What did you just say?!"
I had to confirm.
"Heh. If you accept, I'll make you my direct Paladin."
She crossed her arms, smirked, and tilted her head.
"The Brass Celestial Society is one of the biggest churches around. Working as number two there? Wealth and fame are a given. Perfect for a righteous yet pragmatic Quasi-Priest like you."
This was insane!
"This is this Saintess's reward."
Hearing that bombshell proposal, I shot up from my seat and yanked my ears.
Something this good happening to me?
I calmed myself and asked coolly.
"Direct Paladin... Isn't that sudden? What makes you trust me?"
Sure, I'd crushed it, but landing a spot like that as reward felt... off.
—Better think deep before biting.
Quasi-Priest meant freedom; Paladin probably didn't.
"I trust my judgment and the reports. Verification's done. 'Quasi-Priest' is a title rarely used in our history. Know how hard it is for an outsider to earn church recognition?"
Quasi-Priest was that elite?
Yeah, these sticklers rarely acknowledged outsiders.
"Earning Quasi-Priest already verified you. This was just testing if you match what I need. Gotta recruit talent like you to ease my load."
My brain spun into overdrive, analyzing the situation. This needed serious thought.
Rushing a decision here could mean regrets.
"Hmm, mulling it over?"
She saw right through me.
"Figured my looks would seal it instantly."
So the shirt was bait?
"Not much for women, huh? Despite that wild look..."
"What're you saying! I can't live without 'em!"
I was barely holding back a boner right now!
"Good to hear."
She smiled.
"No rush anyway. I'll be in this backwater a while, so give me your answer before I leave."
Time extension, huh.
"Come find me anytime it clicks. You impressed me big time, Quasi-Priest. Don't wanna lose usable talent. Remember the perks I'm offering."
Tough to turn down, for sure.
I asked anyway.
"...Saintess. If I accept, what exactly would I do?"
"Reside in the capital, act on my orders."
Capital?
"W-Wait. What about faith? Mine's still pretty shallow—that okay?"
"I know your reverence and faith for Verde God are lacking. But religion isn't just about believing in gods, in my view. Personal righteousness, convictions, morals? Faith's secondary."
Blasphemy!
"Faith doesn't matter?"
"Believing in gods is just window dressing."
She propped her chin, explaining matter-of-factly.
"If people were truly righteous, religion wouldn't be needed."
"Kinda idealistic."
True, but hardly religion then.
More like political philosophy.
"You think it's naive too? I've believed that since childhood. But the higher you climb, the more reality chips away at ideals."
"Makes sense. Nothing corrupts easier than humans. Most are scum anyway—a just society without religion's near impossible."
Humans lacked conscience by default.
Did she develop these views knowing that?
"...You get it."
She seemed to approve my take.
I'd told her before: eradicating evil from the world was impossible.
"But this Saintess clings to a sliver of hope for that ideal world. To make it, I need pragmatic talents like you most. You already have church approval. Faith? Whatever."
She picked up her pen again.
"That's the pitch. Think it over seriously. Personal wish, but I'd love if you accepted, Quasi-Priest Katt."
With that, I left the church.