Chapter 408
Chapter 408
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Translator: MadScientist
Chapter: 408
Chapter Title: Kim Katt in the Forest
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Running and walking, running and walking—I kept repeating the cycle.
Every now and then as I moved, I glanced up at the sky, but no harpies had appeared yet.
No way they're not chasing me?
Maybe I was just being paranoid and worrying over nothing. But if you're stuck in a dangerous spot, it's always better to assume the worst and act on that.
Maybe the harpies were searching a wide area and hadn't reached this far yet.
"Hoo."
I leaned against a tree and sat down for a short rest.
If I could just find a proper trail, everything would be fine. But right now, all I could do was wander aimlessly and hope to stumble upon one by chance.
Finding your way in the mountains is no easy task to begin with.
Doesn't it make the news sometimes? People going missing after heading up the back mountain. Plenty of hikers die out there too, apparently.
I caught my breath like that and pulled out some rations to chew on. If I rationed them carefully, they should last up to three days. Once they're gone, it'd be a problem, so hunting monsters along the way was a must.
In the worst case, I might have to catch some kobolds or goblins and roast them. Those little bastards taste like shit, but who would've thought I'd be worrying about this after hitting D-rank?
Damn those harpy bitches.
They'd cost me time and money. It was like they were ripping my heart out. Hell, my wives were probably worried sick by now.
Next time I see them, they won't escape my judgment.
But Sesirith gets a pass.
I only escaped thanks to her in the end. And even if the situation was what it was, I couldn't get mad at a woman who'd let me fondle her pussy for hours.
—Fusion Confucianism.
Claudy told me to spread my seed far and wide, but that only applies to women who can bear children. Harpies lay eggs, so they don't count.
And knocking someone up right away is off the table too. Claudy plans to build the Kim Katt clan after I become a mighty warrior.
So kids are a long way off.
In other words, I need to mark women who can promise to bear my children later—and that doesn't happen every day...! Claudy! I miss you so much!
—Paat!
I shot to my feet like I was having a seizure.
—Thud thud.
—Thud thud.
I heard footsteps. Thinking orcs had already tracked me down, I drew my sword—only to see they weren't orcs.
—Brwoor.
—Buoooong.
"What the hell are these guys?"
What emerged were bizarre mushroom men.
Parting the underbrush, they shuffled forward at an agonizingly slow pace, straight out of a B-grade horror flick. Mushroom heads, bodies made of frail fungi.
—Brwoooor.
—Muoooong.
The things lumbered along, arms outstretched.
"Myconids?"
Something like that name, but I couldn't remember exactly.
Anyway, I gave up on fighting and bolted.
Those mushroom-like monsters spray a powder when hit, and it can be deadly. Blinds you temporarily, puts you to sleep, messes up your sense of direction.
Fighting those fuckers is suicide.
Better to run.
According to tales I'd heard, some mushroom beasts use their spores to plunge people into a deep sleep.
Once you're out, you're done for.
If another monster comes and eats you, that's merciful. But if some twisted luck lets you wake from that long nap unscathed, you've already become a host for the fungus.
When the mushrooms growing inside burst through your skin, that's game over.
The lesson from those legends? Run like hell from unknown mushroom monsters unless you know how to handle them.
Even minor status effects can be fatal in a real fight.
I dodged the threat like that and tried to navigate out of the forest skillfully.
I had to admit I'd lost my way the next morning, a full day later.
"Fuck."
I crawled out of the hideout I'd made the day before and basked in the morning sun.
No clue where I was. There should be a village nearby, but either I'd taken a wrong turn or something—they weren't showing up.
Did they kidnap me farther than I thought?
—...
As I crawled out, I looked up and spotted something like a huge bird flying. Thinking harpy, I ducked back down.
They're definitely still on my tail.
All I could hope was that their birdbrains forgot about me quick. They'd probably give up the search when they got bored and head home. They seemed nomadic, so they'd move from that cliff too.
God, I hope so.
I hopped on Burrow for a bit, then emerged outside again.
Nothing to do but pick a direction and go. Eventually, I'd hit a path people used.
It was around lunchtime when it happened.
Not particularly hot.
The forest was dense, lots of shade.
And with all that shade, anything glowing stood out. —Fizz fizz. Moss Wisps appeared again.
"Fucking Moss Wisps."
A bunch of them flitted around up ahead. Rare spirits like that—I'd seen some last time, and now again. Maybe this was their hotspot?
Anyway, time to go around them.
That's when I turned—
"Human?"
I spotted something besides the Moss Wisps. No, our eyes met. A fairly large butterfly-like thing—
"A human?"
It was, plain and simple, a Tinkerbell wannabe little shit.
Doll-like pretty face, tiny doll body. Light green hair topped with flashy antennae, inhuman butterfly wings on her back.
A fairy straight up.
"Fairy?"
From what I knew, fairies were vicious nightmares born from madness itself—brutal creatures that enchanted and tricked humans to their deaths.
Their magic specialized in illusions and hypnosis, which they used to fatten up monsters' snacks.
What happens to a human lured into the woods by a fairy?
They wander in a daze until monsters chow down the moment they snap out of it. Miserable end. Fairies make a life out of it.
Hell, they enjoy it.
That cute look fools countless people into doom.
Only spirit summoners—inhuman psycho serial killers—could communicate with fairies or spirits.
In this world, fairies and spirits are just murder machines.
The naiad I met in winter was one, and the Soul Eater from my F-rank days was in the same vein.
These bitches are never helpful to humans.
They're natural-born, high-level slaughter experts with pro killing skills.
—Gooo.
I drew up my fighting spirit. All my senses sharpened for battle. Looks like I'd wandered into the wrong place.
This their turf?
The Moss Wisps flying around over there had already buzzed right up to me.
"What brings a human here? Mind if I ask?"
The fairy grinned wide, like she was trying to ease my guard, her voice bright and cheery. Up close, she just looked like a short girl with wings.
Visual straight out of a collector's cage.
But I wasn't falling for it.
"...I've lost my way."
If I could talk my way past without fighting, that'd be ideal, so I gave dialogue a shot.
"Oh, lost your way? Makes sense. Why else would a human be here? Teehee!"
"Spot on. I want to head back—do you know of any human villages nearby?"
"Hmm~ You want me to tell you that?"
Perfect if she did.
But no guarantee this killer freak would actually spill. She seemed to understand speech, so with luck, we could resolve this peacefully. Worth a try.
Unlike most human trash, I had the combat chops to negotiate with monsters.
"Offer a tribute, and I might just tell you!"
The fairy puffed out her chest and declared.
Tribute?
"You mean a tribute?"
"Yep! A tribute! We fairies only grant requests if you offer one!"
"Humans are the same."
"Really? Anyway! Want my answer? Pay up with a tribute!"
Talking tribute made it seem like we could wrap this peacefully. Types who demand cash usually let you pass once paid—it's business.
What to give?
Shiny stuff first.
I reached into my pouch, opened my wallet, and pulled out a 1-copper coin.
"This work?"
"A... human coin...! No, not that!"
"No good?"
"Th-that shiny silver one! Give me that!"
Her eyes gleamed with greed. Shiny lover, huh? I pulled out a silver coin to test.
If shit went south, I'd take it back.
"This what you want?"
"Yes! That's it! Gimme!"
"Answer my question first."
"Fairies don't lie!"
No liar in this world ever actually avoids lying after saying that.
I handed her the silver.
"Tribute paid. Now your answer."
"You asked if I know where the human village is, right?"
"Yes."
"Well..."
She hugged my 1-silver coin tight, building drama like she was about to drop some profound truth. Sure, I could spare a silver if she actually pointed the way.
"No clue!"
Did I hear that wrong?
"Pardon?"
"No clue! Teehee!"
"You don't know?"
"Nope! I don't know where the village is! That's my answer! You asked if I know, right? I doooon't!"
For a second, I couldn't process that I'd been scammed. Heavenly Demon Kim Katt, conned by this butterfly bitch...?
As I stood there stunned, the fairy laughed at me.
"Idiot! Humans are such idiots! Teeheehee!"
It was only natural that I cleaved the scamming fairy in two after that.
"You fucking bitch!!!!!"
—Slash!
"Kyaa! What're you doing? That's dangerous!"
But the fairy was fine.
The moment my blade should've bisected her, her body shimmered like a mirage and dispersed—my sword passed right through!
Magic!
Fairy magic!
Of course the little fairy slut had some evasion trick!
"What was that for... You rude human!"
"Rude my ass, you fucking whore."
"Wh-what?"
"Where do you get off, you scammer bitch?! Give my money back, you whore!!!"
"Sc-scam? I answered as per the deal... Ah!!!!"
Then the fairy went wide-eyed and pointed at me. I paused mid-swing to split her skull. That evasion again?
"Y-you! No doubt! Human! That human!"
And then she said it.
She knows me?
"Heard about you from Naias! The Fairy's Public Enemy! Alert! The Fairy's Public Enemy is here!"
"What? Fairy's Public Enemy?"
For a split second, the winter spirit girl Naias flashed in my mind.
Know the guy who became the Fairy's Public Enemy?
"Everyone! The Fairy's Public Enemy is here!!!"
No fucking way this snowball's been rolling since winter? How the hell did they know about me? Some fairy network or what?
No more thinking!
"Kieeeek!!!!!!"
From the start, encountering a monster bitch like this meant fighting till one of us dropped dead!!!!!
"Die, you onahole slut!!!"
"Eek!"
I swung again to get my money back. But once more, as my blade touched her, her form blurred.
The sword passed right through the fairy.
"That's an afterimage!"
"The real one's over there!"
Harpies were bad enough—now a fairy!
I unleashed Extended Swordsmanship, unleashing a barrage on the fairy!
"Kyaa!"