Chapter 40
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Translator: MadScientist
Chapter: 40
Chapter Title: Dungeon
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"Shit! Treasure chest!"
Half out of my mind, I bolted straight for the treasure chest. The rush of pleasure surging through me felt like it was frying my nerves...! My mouth was foaming like I was about to keel over! Life had been nothing but a nonstop parade of bullshit until now, and finally, something good was happening to me!
Looking back, ever since tripping into this other world, I'd only known endless suffering that didn't suit my fate at all. Tears were the only thing that came to mind back then. Was this my reward for all that? No bullshit—I was hit with the thought that living decently had paid off!
Treasure chests always have gold coins inside.
Gold coins.
GOLD.
What a fearsome yet beautiful ring that word has.
Those golden coins, shining like the sun rising over the desert, each held the value of a hundred silver coins. If I minimized my living expenses, a single silver covered a month, so one gold coin was worth at least a hundred months. Just one could let me live easy for years.
"...Hold up."
But.
In the middle of my sprint, a sudden chill of unease slithered down my spine.
My steps naturally slowed... but my grip tightened on my sword. The swordsmanship I'd honed by brutalizing my body over the past month kicked in the moment the excitement faded, snapping me into a perfect battle stance for this unexpected situation.
"No way in hell something that good happens to me."
I muttered the plain fact under my breath. Keeping my sword tip low and forward, I advanced slowly. Yeah, no way something good happens to me. I'd never had a single stroke of luck in my life, so I knew it better than anyone.
This was blatantly suspicious.
A treasure chest—the only thing left in a room that looked like it had nothing of value.
It was tempting. Tempting enough to make my mouth water. I was going insane with the urge to rip it open violently, check what's inside, and suck it dry. Yeah, of course it was.
However.
However, this might be a trap. Sure, it could just be my overactive imagination and a bit of paranoia, but humans have to be cautious in the face of big fortune. It's not like we're in a world where you fall backward and bust your nose in Seoul, or you don't tap a stone bridge before crossing. Big luck brings big opportunities—and equally big misfortune.
Well, maybe someone's already looted it and only an empty box remains. Still, it felt off. I stood in front of the treasure chest. To probe it, I poked around with my sword tip.
"One second you charge out like a maniac, now you're suddenly all cautious. Bipolar much? What's up, barbarian freak?"
"Wait. This chest is fucking suspicious."
"An old treasure chest... yeah, definitely looks sketchy. Better investigate."
Kobson and I poked and kicked at it—calling it an investigation if you can. Something seemed inside; it was heavy enough not to budge when kicked. Definitely something in there.
Was it really something valuable, like it looked? I swallowed hard.
—Gulp.
"Alright then."
"Let's open it."
We groped around, and no traps triggered. Seemed safe. Kobson and I reached out with trembling hands. Slowly. So very slowly and delicately. Our tension peaked just as we were about to pry open the lid—like peeling the last wrapper on your final pack of choco pies when you're down to your last chance.
"Stop!"
Elise shouted like thunder from behind.
"Huh?"
A trap after all?! I yanked my hand back and tried to backstep, but fuck, the lid opened on its own?
—Creak.
Too late.
—Snap!
"What the—"
Suddenly, the treasure chest's mouth gaped wide, revealing fangs hidden inside. Those grotesque, hook-like teeth jutting out, an unbelievably long tongue. And globs of sticky fluid spraying everywhere. It lunged at me like it wanted to devour me whole.
"Fuck."
A lame curse slipped from my lips. What the hell kind of monster was that? My backstep failed, and I toppled backward, slamming my ass on the floor. The scene of that horrific toothed chest bearing down on me seemed to play in slow motion.
Could I kill it by stabbing my sword into that maw? No idea. But it was my only option now. If I just sat there dazed, it'd rip my head off. I had to do something. I thrust my sword toward its interior, hoping its own momentum would drive it through its throat.
"It's a Mimic! Get away now!"
—Crack!
In that instant, Elise charged out and smashed it with her mace.
—Groooar!
Elise's mace was a morningstar specialized for smashing and destroying. It hit like a Babe Ruth homerun, sending the Mimic flying into the wall.
—Boom!
"You fucking piece of shit!"
Snapping to at the sight, I jumped up and charged it...! Whatever it was, I had to kill it! You fucking bastard!!! How dare you attack me!!! You crazy box bitch!!!!
"I'll help!"
Kobson, who'd been standing there dumbly, ran with me. Elise followed too, raising her mace high, insisting we finish the monster off properly. Her momentum could take down a raid boss.
"Die!"
"Drop dead!"
"Lord have mercy!"
—Thwack!
—Smack!
—Crunch!
We three hammered the Mimic, slumped against the wall, like maniacs. Kobson and I stabbed its exposed true body and kicked wildly, while Elise pounded the box itself to splinters. Wood chips and monster blood flew. The Mimic let out weird groans, convulsed, then went limp.
—Splat.
"Haa... It's done. We smashed it to bits."
Soon, the treasure chest—or its shell—was shattered to pieces. The Mimic's corpse met the same end. No fucker stands up to a three-on-one beatdown.
Even an unknown monster turns to mush against three people.
"You bastard! Good riddance! You fucking bitch!"
How dare you trick me...!
I swallowed my rage and thanked Sister Elise.
"Hoo...! I really almost died there. Thank you, Sister Elise."
"No trouble at all. Any injuries?"
"None. Perfect timing. Seriously, thank you. I barely survived. When we get back, I'll definitely donate to the Radiant Cross Society."
"No need for that..."
"Can I call you my lifesaver?"
"Just call me normally."
"My lifesaver Sister Elise."
"Enough joking."
I calmed my pounding heart and babbled thanks to Elise. No cap—that was the closest I'd come to seeing my coffin. First time seeing a monster this unreal, and no way I expected a chest to move that fast.
In a split-second life-or-death moment, without Elise's support, I'd have been gravely wounded or dead. I took deep breaths to steady myself.
"Hoo..."
Meria approached after securing the rear, poking the Mimic corpse with her toe.
"Slime? Is it a slime? Looks like one."
"It's a Mimic monster. An evil creature that lures and devours people."
The Mimic's true body looked like a slime. The treasure chest was just camouflage. Per Elise, Mimics were gelatinous beasts with teeth and organs that nest in boxes and eat passersby.
"What a vile monster! Disguising as a treasure chest!"
Kobson shuddered at the explanation. I rummaged the corpse for more Mimic info. It was totally mangled—beyond recognition. Even Grandma's Lunar New Year frying pan tosses would look prettier.
Anyway, those fangs looked sharp; worth keeping.
"Hm? Something inside?"
Meria flipped the wrecked chest and said that. A tough, sticky chunk of flesh dropped with something shiny.
—Plop.
—Clink.
"What is it?"
Clink? Definitely metal. Parting the Mimic guts, I found two silver cups with ornate engravings.
"Fancy cups?"
"Pretty cups."
Kobson and Meria said. The shine was faded, but the luxury endured the ages.
"Metal cups? No... the color... silver?! Solid silver cups?!"
I was floored again. These ornate cups screamed ancient relic! Undeniable jackpot, pure loot! I nearly foamed at the mouth again.
Examining one, Elise picked it up.
"This... is a pewter cup."
"Pewter? Not silver?"
Not silver, pewter?
"Yes, pewter. Churches use tons, so I'm sure. Still valuable even without silver. From an ancient ruin, I'd say a few silvers each, by my humble judgment."
"A few silvers!"
Expensive anyway!
"Jackpot!"
"Whoa!"
I went to grab Kobson's hand but saw his face and grabbed Meria's instead, jumping and cheering. Huge score. Worth the near-death scare!
"Looks like a Mimic nested in a chest with valuables. Lucky us. Especially well-preserved."
We happily pocketed the pewter cups. Worth the trip just for these? We took the fangs too—sharp enough for junk value. I carved them from the gums with my sword.
"Perfect. Now that's a dungeon."
Refreshing sweat beaded my forehead. Nothing beats sweat after hard work. Then I noticed Elise standing quietly.
Come to think of it, wasn't she the psycho—no, fervent believer—who took monster parts? I figured she'd be gleefully collecting flesh bits, but no.
"My lifesaver Sister Elise."
"...Please call me normally."
Curious, I asked.
"Haha, kidding. Anyway, uh, not taking any body parts? You did last time, I remember."
"Ah, that?"
Chopping off kobold noses and ears like a maniac. She was living proof of that modern saying about everyone having a mental quirk.
"Since we killed the Mimic together, no need."
"Huh? No need if it's group kill?"
"Yes. Taking body parts is a ritual only when I kill alone with my own power—claiming the soul to offer to our god. No need for group kills."
"I see."
So that's what it meant. Elise explained fluidly, subtly proselytizing.
Strange ritual—modern society wouldn't tolerate it. Thinking about it, even hometown Lunar New Year incense and bowing felt a bit otherworldly.