Chapter 369
Chapter 369
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Translator: MadScientist
Chapter: 369
Chapter Title: Troll's Song
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We woke up at dawn, got ready in a flash, and set off to track the troll. There were tons of footprints, all heading straight into the forest, so figuring out the direction was a piece of cake.
The trail was so damn obvious that even a three-year-old kid could follow it without breaking a sweat.
Guess it's true what they say about trolls not being the sharpest tools in the shed.
"Adventurers! Please take down that troll for us!"
"We're counting on you!"
"You got this!"
Even with a troll on the loose, the farmers couldn't just drop their livelihoods. They were bustling away in the nearby fields.
"Heh heh heh, don't worry about a thing."
I gave them a quick wave.
I don't forgive trolls that chow down on good, honest farmers.
I just hoped we wouldn't end up fighting the troll only for it to bolt and rampage through the village.
With that, we plunged into the forest.
"It's been raiding for days straight, so it probably hasn't gone far."
Winia, staff at the ready, expertly scanned the traces as she tracked the troll's path. Makes sense for a troll hunting right down to the village.
"Gonna be a quick hunt. Has to nest nearby if it's coming and going like this."
I followed behind, huge backpack on, eyes scanning the surroundings. Cloudy was bringing up the rear.
Morning fog blanketed the forest, making it feel a bit chilly.
Between the massive trees, green undergrowth grew thick, but there were clear signs of it being trampled and smashed. Following those marks felt like the troll was politely leading us right to its doorstep.
That's when it happened, as we trailed after Winia.
"Katt. Over there."
Cloudy tapped my shoulder from behind and pointed off to the side. Thinking it might be the troll, I went to chuck my bag and draw my sword, but she grabbed my wrist.
"Not a troll. Looks like someone's there. Monster maybe?"
"Winia. Something up ahead. Hold up."
I called to Winia and checked where Cloudy was pointing.
Thick fog and dense bushes made it hard to make out, but something was definitely moving over there.
"Sis, you see what it is?"
"Nah, not really."
Anyway, time for Investigator Kim Katt to deploy.
Shing.
I dropped my backpack on the spot, sword at the ready, and crept toward it.
Villager or monster, probably. With trolls coming out of these woods, no sane person would crawl in here unless they were a total psycho.
Bandit? Outlaw?
Or a forest jogger?
Maybe some village kid out playing.
Could be a monster too.
"Heh, heh heh."
As I got closer, I spotted something totally unexpected: a hunched figure squatting there.
Scritch scritch.
It was that creepy hunchback from yesterday.
He was letting out these gloomy chuckles while digging at the base of a tree with his hands. So focused he hadn't even noticed us approaching.
"Ain't that the hunchback from yesterday?"
What the hell's this guy's deal?
Out here in troll territory at the crack of dawn playing in the dirt? Only real warriors or total lunatics have that kind of guts.
"Looks like it. What the heck's he doing here?"
"Eh, whatever. Darky, just chase him off. Don't want any headaches if he croaks."
The girls said it like it was no big deal.
"Yeah, fair enough."
Not like sticking around here won't get him killed anyway. Better to shoo him away.
Like Winia said, if he dies here it'll be a problem. Guild sent us to hunt trolls, not babysit deaths on our watch—that could tank our careers.
Hell, with trolls around, he should've stayed home. What idiot risks their neck coming into the woods?
Dumb bitch.
Dead meat.
"Hey, asshole, what're you doing here?"
"Huh? Wh-who... are you?"
I nudged his back with my foot, and only then did he notice us and turn his head.
"Your mom."
Up close, his face was just as ugly as you'd expect.
Smashed-flat nose, skin all warty like a toad's. One eye squinted, making him look even nastier.
Village must be pretty forgiving to put up with a freak like this.
"M-my mom... uh, she ain't... around."
"No shit, kid. Anyway, what're you up to?"
I could've guessed his folks were long gone the second I saw him. Before chasing him off, I figured I should ask what he was doing. He held up his dirt-caked hands and said,
"Heh, heh heh. Me... me. Mushrooms. Huntin' mushrooms."
"Huntin' mushrooms? Why?"
"Mush-mushrooms. Lots... need 'em."
"R-right. Lotsa need... for 'em. Fuck."
Guy talks like molasses.
"Trolls're out here, dumbass. Get home before you croak. Didn't I tell you yesterday?"
Just waltzing into a danger zone like this is crime enough.
"Gotta... hunt mushrooms."
"Not gettin' through to you, huh."
Few good smacks oughta send him running.
If words fail, fists it is.
Better than getting troll-eaten. Way more merciful. Another good deed for Kim Katt today.
I sheathed my sword to kick him, but then he stared dead at Winia and Cloudy and said,
"Heh, heh heh heh. Pretty girls."
"What?"
Winia's face twisted instantly.
I was gonna let a lot slide, but not this shit.
"P-pretty girls. Boobs... huge. Skin... white. Brown girl... big boobs too."
"You fuckin' bastard!"
Thwack!
Couldn't let that slide—I kicked him right then.
"Guuk!"
"You dare sexually harass my girls, you piece of shit?!"
The hunchback, still crouched, took it straight to the back and face-planted into the tree roots. That oughta fix his scoliosis. No folks, and mouth like a sewer—figures.
"Alright, you fuck. Time to straighten that shitty back of yours."
"Guh... grrrk!"
I laid into the dirt-faced hunchback with wild swings. Daring to ogle my girls' chests? Beat him within an inch of his life.
Crack!
Smack!
"You dog! Die! Die already!"
"Kwahk! Huerk! It hurts!! Stop! Hurts so much!"
Only I get to do that.
About 30 seconds of taekwondo later, Winia and Cloudy finally piped up.
"Darky. He's just a retard. That's enough."
"Hee hee, Katt. Idiot like that, just forgive him."
They said that, but they looked plenty pleased with my impromptu beatdown show.
I hauled the half-rag-doll hunchback to his feet. Sadly, physical therapy failed—back still hunched.
"Hurts! St-stop... hittin'!"
Scared shitless now. No way he'd come back to the woods.
No time to escort a thick-skulled idiot home, so this'd do.
"Go!!!!"
"Hiiiieeeek!!!!"
I faked another swing, and he screeched, flailing his freakish legs as he bolted wobbling back to the village.
"Heh heh heh."
Good deed done.
Better than him playing dirt and getting troll-snacked.
"Kukuku. Hilarious."
"Hee hee hee. Right?"
Dude was a moron hunchback, but he gave us a good laugh. As we chuckled for a bit, I spotted a sack on the ground.
"That his?"
Picked it up and peeked inside—yep.
A few plants and mushrooms tumbled out.
Looks like he got up early to forage. Obvious retard, probably clueless about trolls, just doing his thing.
"Winia. What kinda mushrooms?"
"Those are Whistling Caps. Grow by tree roots."
That explains the root-digging.
"They do anything?"
"Kinda. Crush 'em and they give off a weird scent—good for masking stronger smells."
"Like deodorant, huh."
I repacked the sack and set it back. Just in case he came looking. Losing it in the woods would suck.
If he needs it, I'll track him down later.
We moved on and resumed tracking.
Scout for prints, crushed plants, gouged earth—connect the dots for the troll's path.
Trail so thick, easy going.
Still took time, and before we knew it, lunchtime hit.
"Ah, fuck, starving. Head back to the village to eat? Or chow here?"
"No need. Let's eat here."
"Too much hassle to go back. Darky, grab some firewood."
"On it."
I cleared a spot and fetched wood; Winia lit a fire. We warmed up jerky and rations for lunch.
"Hee hee, but Katt."
Cloudy giggled mid-bite.
"Hm? What?"
"You got that mad over what he said earlier?"
"Oh. That retard yapping about tits? Hell yeah, pissed me off, that fucker."
Obvious reason to blow up.
Being a retard doesn't excuse shit. Low IQ ain't a get-out-of-jail-free card. I went easy as it was.
"Made me happy. Got me kinda turned on watching."
"Heh heh heh, turned on? Such a violent girl."
"Kyaa."
I teased her ear, and she purred happily.
"But Winia."
"Yeah?"
"You really should change your style. Flaunting cleavage like that invites trouble."
Cloudy covers up in leather and jacket, hood and all. Winia? Her robe taste is hopeless—upper chest basically on display.
"Worried about me, Darky?"
"Damn right. I wanna be the only one looking."
"Kuku. Cute. But nah, doesn't bother me. Used to stares."
"That's exactly why cover up more."
"No need to care what others think. I wear what I like. And you like it too."
"Confident woman."
Lunch done, back to searching. We hit a stream; tracks stopped there.
Trail ends here?
"Cross it?"
Cloudy asked.
"Nah, better search around here first."
Winia wanted to fan out from here. Might be pushing it to find today. Miss it, and afternoon gets dicey.
Troll could hit the village again.
Then we'd pull an all-nighter there.
"Darky, pick up the pace."
Winia knew it too—steps quickened. Fine by me. Search here, no dice? Means nest across the stream, easy.
Searched hard, but no troll.
Paths might've crossed; it could've slipped back to the village while we were out. Headed home for the day.
On the way back, passed where I smacked the hunchback.
Sack was gone—must've come back for it.
"That retard came back, huh."
"Didn't beat him hard enough, Katt?"
"Shoulda gone harder."
Comes back after that? Totally nuts.
Hope he stays away tomorrow.
Today was all tracking, no troll in sight. Sunset by the time we got back; villagers yelled from afar.
"Tr-troll! Did you get it?"
"They're back!"
Good—no raid while we were out.
Winia told them: no troll today, get home, lock up, sleep tight.
"Darky, gotta camp here tonight. Might show at night."
"Knew it'd come to this."
Our inn's too far for quick response. Village has a stockade, but uneven—not foolproof. Better guard the forest edge.
Raids for days; camping tonight ain't weird.
Tough night ahead.