Chapter 360
Chapter 360
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Translator: MadScientist
Chapter: 360
Chapter Title: Collection
-----------------------------------------------------------------
I can't believe it.
No matter how strict the Radiant Cross Society is, the idea of sending her on a dispatch mission and then taking the money she earned there as an offering is just absurd.
Of course, they'll use it for the public good. That's the kind of church they are. They'll buy better killing gear with the donations or invest in exterminating heretics.
But even so, if Elise wants to make a donation, the least they could do is tell her to use some of it as pocket money.
That's just basic adult responsibility.
If they snatched up the hard-earned cash this young girl brought back just because she offered it as a donation, they wouldn't be proper adults.
Then again, proper adults don't walk around in just their underwear anyway.
"Elise. Use all the money you earned this time for yourself."
"Of course, I'd love to do that, but as I just mentioned, for personal donations..."
"No!!!!!!!!!!!"
"S-Saint?"
I gave Elise a stern scolding.
Before the flustered girl could even react, I reached out my arm. Elise hesitated for a moment before extending hers toward me.
"Donating is fine. But you don't have to give it all away. Don't you need things for yourself? Civilian clothes, maybe? Or something you want to eat?"
If you've earned money, you should spend enough of it to satisfy yourself first.
"...You're right."
Elise slowly nodded at my words.
"You need to get used to spending money too. Suppose you go on a mission alone to some other region. Experience spending will come in handy. You'll have to buy all sorts of supplies for the job on the spot, and that'll happen a lot."
"That does make sense. As you say, Saint, I think it's okay to use the money I earned this time personally."
"Right? Then let's go!"
"Yes!"
I bolted down the street with Elise right away.
She's a bit lacking in common sense in a lot of ways. Today, I need to drill the concept of spending into her before sending her off. She's leaving tomorrow, so a full day of intensive training should do it.
"Alright, Elise! You've got plenty of money, so pick out some clothes you like!"
The moment we entered the clothing store, I started picking out outfits with Elise.
"Hmm, I have no idea what to choose."
"Just go with what catches your eye. Or pick something like the clothes you saw around town that looked nice. Civilian clothes are necessities anyway. Don't overthink it."
"In that case..."
Still riding high from our time at the arena earlier, Elise seemed genuinely excited as she rummaged through the clothes.
I told her to try them on and shoved her into the fitting room.
Swish.
"Does it suit me?"
"It looks great. You could pass for an ordinary girl."
"...I see. Good."
I made sure to only say positive things whenever Elise stepped out in a new outfit. She started off hesitant but soon got into it, picking out everything she liked.
"This reminds me of that immortality incident last time."
"We bought disguise civilian clothes back then too."
"Yes. It's just as fun now as it was then. This has been a truly enriching time."
"Heh, yeah?"
"But that heretic giant we dealt with... I still don't know what it really was. I wonder what happened to it."
"Who knows. No point worrying about something we've already judged. We turned it half to ash anyway."
I'm done caring about that giant punk.
About an hour of this went by.
In the end, Elise bought five outfits. She'd even changed out of her nun robes into a girlish dress.
She doesn't look like a nun at all now—just the picture-perfect young lady from a wealthy family. Flawless skin, bobbed red hair.
Yeah, total rich girl vibe.
"This should cover my civilian clothes needs. Thank you, Saint."
"Good. But don't overspend. Money disappears faster the more you use it."
"Hehe, I already know that. No need to worry. So now..."
"Let's grab some shoes. They're consumables, so a few pairs would be smart."
"Got it. That sounds good."
I figured shoes were next and started dragging her to a shoe store. But as we moved, my stomach growled. Lunchtime already.
"Ah, damn, I'm starving."
Eating at a restaurant would take too long. Elise leaves tomorrow, so we need to make the most of our time.
I proposed a compromise to Elise.
"Elise. Let's just grab street food for lunch. Time's short."
"Whatever you say goes, Saint. But what's street food?"
"That stuff over there."
I pointed to the row of food stalls. Skewers of miscellaneous meat grilled and sold—common everywhere.
"Wait here. I'll go buy some."
"I can't let you go alone, Saint. We should go together."
"Nah. We've got bags. Just stay put."
No need to lug the bags around.
I grabbed Elise's shoulders, straightened her up, and locked her in place.
"Ah, ah. S-Saint, your hands..."
She suddenly averted her gaze.
"What? My hands?"
"...They're so big. They cover my shoulders completely."
"Results of training. But mostly you're just small."
Elise is pretty petite for her combat prowess. About Winia's size. Anyway, I let go of her shoulders, and she cleared her throat.
"Ahem. You're so considerate in every way. As expected, Saint, your heart is incredibly kind. You're the epitome of a good person."
"You got it. Wait here then."
I told her to stay put and jogged over to the distant stalls. Lunch rush meant delicious smells wafting everywhere.
I approached a stall selling hefty meat skewers.
"Hey, boss. What kind of meat is this?"
"Wild cockatrice subspecies, far as I know."
Bird meat that can't fly.
Around here, they lump all the two-legged, ostrich-like birds into "cockatrice." Tons of species, and nobody knows the details, so they just call 'em subspecies.
"Four, please."
"Four coppers."
They were thick skewers, so fair price. I handed over the coins. The vendor put them on a small brazier to warm them up.
"One sec."
Already half-cooked, they heated quick. No fancy seasoning—these are cheap eats.
"Here ya go."
"Thanks."
Now to enjoy these with Elise.
I grabbed the skewers happily, turned, and... Elise was gone.
Elise was gone?
"Eli...se?"
Too focused on the food, I'd taken my eyes off her.
She'd vanished like smoke.
"Divaaaaaane!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I roared, scattering the skewers into the air.
Splat!
Meat chunks rained down like precipitation. I took them on the shoulder while screaming for Divine.
"Gwaaaah!!!!"
Then a man's scream came from nearby. Sounded like trouble. Curious, I headed over and—
"S-Saint!"
"Elise?!"
Elise had twisted the arm of some bald guy who looked like a murderer and pinned him down.
Three burly guys who seemed like his buddies stood around, with passersby gawking.
What the hell happened?
More importantly, my skewers?
Before I could ask about them, Elise yelled like thunder at the pinned man.
"This wicked fiend tried to kidnap me!"
"What?! You little sh—!!!!!!!!!"
Whoosh.
No need to hear more.
I charged at full speed.
Kidnap? Kidnap?! I could guess the rest. They probably hit on her while she was alone, tried dragging her to a dark alley, and got shut down.
Screeeeech!
"Wh-what the hell is this guy?!"
"Block him!"
"Shit! She had backup?!"
The trio who'd lunged at Elise scrambled into stances against me.
But amateur footwork like that?
"Kim Katt Dropkiiiick!!!!!!!"
Won't work on me.
Thwack!
"Gack!"
"Gurgh!"
"Gwaaah!"
A dropkick from an elite warrior isn't ordinary. The murderously powered strike sent the trio flying into the wall.
Boom!
Pathetic weaklings!
"Who the hell do you punks think you're kidnapping?! Elise! What happened?!"
"While I waited for you, Saint, these wicked men tried dragging me off! I thought it was nothing at first and tried handling it peacefully, but they suddenly grabbed my arm and attempted to kidnap me!"
"This happened in broad daylight?! Unforgivable! Elise! Time for judgment!"
"Yes!"
The guy Elise had pinned was groaning his last. The other three clutched their backs and heads, writhing on the ground.
"Wicked evildoers! You've picked the wrong opponents! We'll enlighten you right here!"
"You shitty bastards dare ruin my skewers?! Elise! Leave this one to me!"
I smashed a killer knuckle-flick into the head of the man Elise had pinned. Crack! Bare-handed, but his bald scalp gave killer feedback.
"Gaaah!! What the—?! What the hell are you?!"
"That's what I wanna know, kidnapper!"
"Kidnap?! You little sh—!"
"Who the fuck's dying, you punk?!"
I booted the snarling kidnapper's face.
Smack!
"Guh!"
No mercy for scum like this. Obvious lowlife. The kick made him foam and roll his eyes.
Perfect takedown.
"Criminals disrupting the city's peace! It'd be better for the world if you vanished! Even your mother's womb rejected you!"
Elise bellowed at the fallen trio like a raging pope. They just writhed in agony.
Speaking of moms... is that a pad rip? Do friends rub off on each other?
"Elise! Beat 'em! Divine lynch time!"
"Yes!"
We teamed up to thrash them.
Gaaah!
Gwaaah!
Trashing the downed punks didn't take long. Five minutes of sacred kicking and punching turned them into rags, screaming for their moms.
"You outrageous shits!!!! Ruining my damn skewers!!!"
Still not learning? I beat all four extra hard and looted their wallets.
Decent haul—we split it, and I still pocketed 30 coppers.
Nothing beats justice for profit.
"The security here's awful... Saint."
We dumped the half-dead trash in an alley, and Elise's face turned deadly serious.
"Thank you for making time for my break, but it seems we have work to do."
Resolve.
I felt it.
"From now on, we're the Divine Daytime Vigilantes! Today, we'll purge the city of riffraff alongside you, Saint!"
"Perfect, Elise! Great idea!"
I shouted our manic Divine Friend cry with Elise.
Kidnapping attempts in broad daylight? If she were a normal girl, she'd be their lunch.
Fine.
Break time's canceled.
No mercy for scum in the Heavenly Demon's name.
Thud, thud.
We patrolled the streets, shoulders squared like mountains, strutting arrogantly. Elise mimicked me perfectly. At least we didn't lose the bags.
"Ah! Pickpocket!"
Whoosh!
Suddenly, a scrawny guy shoulder-checked an auntie and bolted.
"Elise!"
"Justice enforcement!!"
Thud thud thud!
We sprinted full tilt and caught the skinny pickpocket.
"Wh-what?! Who the hell are you?!"
Daring to pickpocket in this city!
As a former victim, I couldn't let it slide. Still got pickpocket PTSD.
Time for compensation.
"Stop, pickpocket!"
"Fuck this!!"
He sped up, but we overtook him easy.
"What the shit are you?! Who are you?!"
Us?
"Diviine—! Kim Katt!"
"Friendo! Elise here! Final warning! Stop! Return the goods now, and we'll go easy!"
Ignore her, and it's over.
The fool cursed and veered.
"Bullshit, fuck off!"
No forgiveness now.
"Elise...! Time for 'that'!"
"Saint...! You mean 'that'?!"
No need for words between Divine Friends.
We launched at the pickpocket together.
"Divine Dropkiiick!"
"Di-Di-Divine...! Dr-Dropkick!"
Thwack!
No dodging our attacks from the start.
"Gwaaaaaah!"
Direct hit. He flew over 10 meters like a car crash victim, scream Doppler-shifting away.
"Elise! Divine dropkick success!!"
"Y-yes. Success!"
"Heh heh, why so shy? Anyway, let's handle him."
"Yes. Hehe, time to show justice lives!"
Elise grinned already, smiling down at the pickpocket. I struck a pose too.
This is fun.
"Guh... ngh! St-stop! Why are you—?!"
"Shut it!!!"
Gaaaaah!
A short burst of righteous justice passed.
Left with a butt-naked wrecked pickpocket. Then the auntie victim ran up.
She reclaimed her stuff and bowed in thanks.
"Th-thank you, warriors!!!"
"Heh, no biggie. Take care."
She waved as she fled.
"Saint. Doing good deeds really fills the heart."
"Yeah. But we're not done. Sun's still up."
"Right! Saint! Back on the hunt! For security!"
"Yeah! Murder patrol!!"
We rampaged through the city till sunset, crushing every crime. Subdued rowdy drunks, a random stabber, even stormed the slums and wrecked fighting beggars.
Elise beamed through our good deeds.
Rustle.
Sunset time.
"Haa, Saint. Exhausted, but our all-day service skyrocketed the city's security."
"Heh heh, sure did."
We stood by the fountain, watching the sun set. We gazed at it, then each other, and smiled.
"Hehe. We ended up forfeiting break time. Fun, but kinda sad."
Elise smiled brightly.
She looks happy.
"Sad?"
Then it hit me.
"Nah, Elise."
I'd meant to teach her about breaks today.
"We already enjoyed our break plenty. It was fun. Happy. We served, enforced justice. That's what made it great... That's a break."
Breaks aren't anything special.
Doing what you enjoy, what makes you happy—that's a break.
"...I see."
Sunset flushed Elise's face red.
Suits her red hair.
"So that's it."
Elise seemed enlightened too.
"Fun... That's it. This was my break. Time with you, Saint, enforcing justice through service. That's the answer."
"Exactly."
The sun sank.
Sunset faded from half the sky. But even as it set, justice lives and breathes.
"Saint. Thank you so much today. I feel like I truly enjoyed my break. Learned a ton, gained insights. All I can do is thank you."
"Nah, nothing to thank."
Who's teaching who about breaks?
"It's natural. We're Divine Friends, right?"
"Hehe, is that so?"
"Yup."
A warm night.
That heartfelt time warmed my heart too.
I offered to walk Elise back to her dorm, but she insisted on going alone to avoid bothering me.
I trudged back to my lodging.
Causing that serial assault spree netted a fat stack. My pouch now had 1 silver and 20 coppers extra.
All from beating villains senseless and robbing their wallets.
Yeah, this is what a break is.
A heartwarmingly toasty day.