Chapter 355
Chapter 355
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Translator: MadScientist
Chapter: 355
Chapter Title: Kim Katt and the Forty Bandits
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"You fucking heretic bastard! You're in for it now!"
"What? Heretic...? Gasp! A nun! Don't tell me you're from the church!!!"
The burly heretic balked at the sight of Elise in a way that didn't suit him at all, hoisting his warhammer high.
This heretic, who worshipped the vile god Ezath and committed all sorts of atrocities like cannibalism and massacres—much like the Belgians of old—had received a wicked blessing that granted him inhuman strength. And yet here he was, showing such a human reaction!
I could never forgive that.
Watching this worthless scum pretend to be human twisted my guts into knots. Rage boiled up alongside a ferocious killing intent.
The gods I serve would never tolerate such a being.
The wicked must be granted a cruel death.
Thankfully, he hadn't turned pitch-black like a monster yet. He wasn't radiating the overwhelming evil aura like that Jer-something guy from before.
He must've just been a deserter from the heretic ranks during the holy war.
At any rate, he seemed to be the leader of this bandit gang. He had some skill, no doubt, which let him gather these thugs for their criminal rampage.
"You wicked servant of the evil god!!! The Order Gods shall punish you! Surrender quietly, and we won't torture you—commit seppuku and repent right now!!!!!"
Elise thrust her mace forward and bellowed with fanatical fervor, overwhelming everyone present. It was the combo of her earlier murderous prowess and the sheer intensity pouring from that tiny frame of hers.
The bandits had lost more than half their comrades in an instant, even with their boss here. There was no way those losers could fight properly now.
Numerically, they still had the edge, but our side dominated in combat power and morale. Take out that heretic, and victory was ours.
"R-run away! We can't win this!"
"Boss!!! Let's just bail!!! There's a mage over there too!!!"
"I don't care!!! Save yourselves!!! That nun is fucking insane!!"
The bandits knew it too, spewing curses in abject terror. Almost all the corpses around were theirs, after all.
They trusted their boss somewhat, but not enough to die for him.
No upside to fighting, just a higher chance of biting the dust. For bandits, this was a fight to avoid at all costs.
"You stupid fucks! Run now, and you're all dead meat! Don't know why, but the church is already onto us!! Get in there and fight!! Anyone who runs gets killed by me personally!!"
The heretic with his warhammer raised shouted to rally them. But these ragtag criminals weren't about to listen. No one stepped forward.
"Hey! What bullshit is that? Quit yapping at the kids and go fight your own mom! Bet she'd put up a good fight since she birthed you!"
I decided to provoke the heretic in my fury.
"Wh-what?! My mother! Why the hell is my mom coming up, you son of a bitch!!!"
"Then where should your mom come up from?"
"She shouldn't come up at all, you fuck!!"
"She can come up, you dumb bitch. It's about time she kicked the bucket anyway—better bury her early. Call her quick. If you do it now, I'll handle the funeral for free. Special service. Gotta do one last act of filial piety on her way to the afterlife."
"You fucking prick!!!!!"
The taunt landed perfectly.
This bastard's so sensitive to mom insults? Looked like he still had some human heart left.
Truly a relief.
Ezath's followers usually grew stronger with more blessings, but eventually turned into complete monsters—like those black freakshows from the holy war.
If he was still human-like, he hadn't received the blessing yet.
No problem then.
I could win this easy.
As I pieced that together, Elise backed me up with another shout.
"You who have joined the heretics! From this moment, you are eternal enemies of the Radiant Cross Society! The order's pursuers will hound you relentlessly until your dying breath, delivering you to brutal annihilation!"
Crackle.
Whether she'd cast Holy Enchant or not, a halo of light burst from her mace.
"Th-that light!!!"
"It's divine power!!!!"
The bandits and heretic gaped in horror.
They'd witnessed a miracle from a violent god up close. And the tiny nun before them was unleashing unbelievable rage with her roars.
Terror was the natural response.
No matter how brutish or evil the criminals, divine judgment scared them shitless.
"Judgment! Punishment! Hear this well! Your lives end here! No chances! Repent in death and face retribution!!!!! If you don't want a horrific end, commit seppuku and repent—it's for your own good!!"
Elise was half-mad with fury.
"Y-yeah! The nun's right! Off to hell with you bandits!!"
"You're all done for!"
"What're you waiting for? Hurry up and kill yourselves! The nun's giving you a chance, you thick-headed fucks!!!! Do it now!!!!! Why aren't you?!"
Clang! Clang!
Clang!
The standoff held, but Elise's manic speech restored our adventurers' morale. They clashed weapons and roared, burning with battle lust.
"U-ugh...!"
The bandits, meanwhile, cowered behind their boss, refusing to budge.
We can run now. That's probably what they were thinking. Guys with that mindset wouldn't fight to the death.
"Uw啊啊啊啊!!! "
"Help!!! "
"Run!!!"
As expected, three bandits cracked under Elise and the adventurers' curses, screaming as they fled.
"Y-you bastards! Hey! Grab them! Run now and we're all fucked!!!"
The heretic roared, but no one listened. Guys with brains enough to obey wouldn't be bandits in the first place.
"Ah, fuck, those assholes are pissing me off."
Winia sighed at the sight.
"Darky, when I signal, just wipe 'em all out."
"How?"
She had something in mind.
Winia raised her staff.
"Chain Lightning. Keep yapping to buy time. They're clumped nice. Mana's recovered a bit—gonna dump everything left. You good?"
Sure enough, the bandits were huddled behind their heretic leader. Smart move would've been to scatter knowing a mage was here, but terror made them cluster by instinct.
Chain Lightning there...?
"Trust me."
Gonna be a sight.
"I'm Heavenly Demon Kim Katt, after all."
"Full of shit, but you sound pumped. Let's go."
Crackle.
Winia began chanting, electricity gathering at her staff. I spread my stance wide, blocking her from view with my body.
"Hey, bandits! And heretic! Let's negotiate!"
"S-Saint? Negotiation all of a sudden...?"
Elise's eyes widened as she turned to me.
I quickly whispered to reassure her.
"It's a trick. Pretend to negotiate, then massacre. Call it a murder negotiation."
"I-I see! Looking forward to it! A righteous negotiation indeed!"
Real negotiation is the art of deception.
I just added murder to it.
"Expect the best... Hey! Hear that? Negotiation time!"
The bandits reacted.
"N-negotiation?!"
"Negotiation?!"
"Yeah! Negotiation! You wanna live too, right? Heretic! Same for you!"
"...Speak!"
I dangled the bait: return all the loot they'd stolen so far, and we'd overlook their heretic ties and banditry.
Murmurs rippled through.
These floppy-eared suckers.
"So, back off now, and we pretend nothing happened. Go bandit elsewhere? We log it as a subjugation, you just scram. Deal?"
"S-sounds good...!"
Crackle.
The bandits nodded—perfect timing.
Time bought.
"Darky."
Winia's signal hit—
"Kieeeek!!!!!!!"
"Wh-what the—!!!"
I screamed to draw eyes.
And stepped aside from Winia.
"Die now, you worthless shits."
Taste some juice.
"M-mage—"
The bandits spotted her, flailing like eels on a hot grill, trying to flee—but too late.
Way too late.
Zzzzzzap!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Blue lightning erupted from her staff tip.
Chain Lightning electrocutes multiple foes at once; longer chant and more mana meant more power.
Winia charged full while I kept them talking, then unleashed on the clustered idiots.
Crackle!!!
"Kyaaah!"
"Bleurgh!!"
"Fuuuuck!!!!"
The spell hit in under a second.
The heretic brute and his hiding bandits all convulsed, slamming faces into the dirt from the current.
"Diiiiviiiiiine!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
As they dropped, unbelievable courage surged within.
A few rear bandits fled, but the heretic boss and ten-odd others were fully paralyzed.
"E-lise-Diiiiviiiiiine!!!!!!!!!"
I charged with a war cry.
No way we could lose!
"Friiieeeeend!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Elise followed, screaming madly as she rushed. Slaughtering these bandits was now like taking candy from a baby.
"Chase 'em! Kill 'em all!!!"
"Uwaaaaa!!!"
"Beat 'em dead!!!!"
The adventurers pounced greedily too.
They had some honor—ignored the shocked ones, targeted the fleeing rats.
Basic decency.
Whoosh!
I leaped into the air, diving at the sprawled bandits.
"Heh heh heh! You pathetic fucks! Only hell awaits now!"
"Guh...!"
The fully zapped ones writhed like maggots, unable to move.
"Time to send you to your dearly departed moms! Payment on delivery!"
"Executing justice now!!!"
Elise and I mercilessly stabbed backs and chests, smashed skulls.
Squelch!
Splat!
"Gahhh!"
Nearly ten evil lives snuffed in under a minute—no exaggeration.
"Elise! Capture that heretic alive!"
Wouldn't kill him yet—had questions.
"Got it!"
Whoosh!
Crunch!
"Kyaaaaaaa!!!!!!!"
Elise expertly swung her mace, pulverizing the heretic's limbs. Not enough? She tenderized every non-vital spot like ground meat.
"Kaaaaaaaak!!!"
The brute, pounded to human cutlet, writhed like a larva, shrieking pitifully.
Elise knew no mercy.
Even immobilized, extra whacks were pure her.
"Winia! Nice one! Mages are the best!"
"Sigh, wiped out. Dizzy. Wonder when we get back to the inn."
"Rest up when we do."
"You'll carry me, right?"
"Gotta pack gear first—not sure."
"Darky, that's when you say yes. Got it?"
"Baggage comes second to you anyway."
Situation wrapped.
Missed a few who bolted too far, but most were dead.
"Kekeke! Went smoother than expected!"
"Merchant! Gonna cost ya!"
"Heh. No issue. What a relief."
Adventurers emerged, each with a couple heads, grinning slyly.
"Hnggh...!"
Only the limbless, wailing heretic remained. True justice served.
Seeing him like that warmed my heart.
We'd saved hundreds from future victims. Protected smiling families. This winter would be cozy.
The adventurers looked content too.
"Kkh...! Kill me! Just kill me!"
Foaming and blood-tear-streaked, the heretic twitched his mangled limbs, begging for death.
We and the adventurers savored the pathetic sight, exchanging glances.
"Heh, heh! Heh heh heh heh!"
"Kekeke kekeke!!!"
"Hee hee hee hee!!"
"Puhahahahaha!!!!!!"
Cackle cackle!!!
Giggle snicker!!!
Ke ke ke ke ke ke kek!!!
Hahaha!!!
Then everyone burst out laughing.
"Kwa—kwakwakwa!!!!!!!"
The merchant laughed loudest, shaking so hard his knife rattled.
"Wh-what?! Why're you laughing...!"
What an innocent fool.
Like furious adventurers would just kill an evil bandit boss outright?