Chapter 342
Chapter 342
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Translator: MadScientist
Chapter: 342
Chapter Title: Ranch
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Returning home, my two wives' reactions were pretty damn fierce.
"Ka, Katt! Your handsome face...! What the hell happened!"
"Blackie? Fuck, out all night again and come back beat to shit! Which bastard was it!"
Thanks to them clinging to me so violently, I was wracked with pain like my back was gonna snap in half as I explained everything in detail. Mostly, it was about how I'd been cast in the sequel to Avatar and become Jake Sully.
Well, as expected, when I told Cloudy that I'd fulfilled my duty as a swordsman by slicing up dozens of slum dwellers, robbing their money, and then surviving a desperate fight with a formidable foe, she fretted a bit but blushed, saying it was a manly thing to do. Winia, on the other hand, jumped around ranting about blasting those slum bastards and Lisette with Fire Bolts.
—Bounce, bounce.
Watching her breasts do their up-and-down routine was pretty relaxing.
But who would win in a fight between Lisette and Winia...? Honestly, I still didn't think I could do much against Winia myself.
Mages are stronger than scrappy warriors anyway.
And Winia had a ton of spells she could use, with super-fast casting speeds. Plus, she even had Strength Magic, which sealed the deal.
Strength Magic, which lets you burst out with sudden power, has shitty mana efficiency, so most mages don't bother learning it. But Winia handled it like it was nothing.
That occasional bull-like super strength of hers? That's the stuff.
"I'm sorry, Your Majesty Winia."
Anyway, groveling like my hands and feet were on fire wasn't enough—I had to rub my face on her calf for a good long while before I finally earned her "forgiveness" that wasn't really forgiveness.
"Fuck... you go around getting beat up like some neighborhood mutt."
"But I killed more of them than they did me..."
"Doesn't matter if you kill 'em or not—the point is you came back beat up! You're gonna keep coming back like this! If you're gonna kill, don't get hit! Argh, it pisses me off so much! I can forgive you hitting Blackie, but not the other way around!"
Why the double standard?
"Blackie, if this happens one more time, I might just put a collar on you. Do you have any idea how worried I was?"
"I get it... but I didn't expect things to turn out like this."
"You gotta be more careful!"
"I'm sorry. Winia, it hurts too much."
It had been a real ordeal just getting back here.
"Aww, is our Blackie okay?"
"What happened to the tough act?"
"That's enough yelling. Nothing seriously wrong with your body, right, Blackie?"
Even if there was, it'd heal just fine looking at your tits.
"Nah, I'm good."
"Phew, alright then. No more dangerous stuff from now on."
"Got it."
Winia switching to pampering mode and comforting me gave me a burst of energy.
Still, I wanted to wash up and crash first. The sleep in the monastery hadn't been great quality—I'd slept a full day straight and was still wiped out.
They say nothing beats sleep for mana recovery, and sure enough, burning it all at once brings on killer drowsiness. Plus, as your mana refills, your physical stats improve too, boosting natural healing.
So basically, if I'm hurt, I gotta sleep to recover properly.
"Argh... your face is all bruised purple. Looks like you got poisoned or something."
"Poisoned by you... fatally attractive."
"If you're spouting nonsense, you're probably fine. Anyway, sis, let's get Blackie cleaned up."
I thought that was a pretty smooth line, but why ignore it?
"Yeah, let's do that."
"You gonna wash me?"
"Can you even wash yourself?"
"Dunno, feels tough."
Didn't expect to get this level of TLC.
Soft hands stripped off my clothes with expert ease. Propped up, they marched me straight to the bath, sat me down, and washed me like a stray dog they'd just rescued—pouring water and scrubbing away.
"Ahh, feels good."
—Scrub, scrub.
"Katt... you did good, really. If you've made enemies as a warrior, you gotta settle the score all the way. That's just how it is. And holding your own against a clear superior foe? Impressive."
Cloudy said it while soaping me up.
"But don't make me worry like that."
"..."
"Of course, I firmly believe you'll survive no matter what... yeah. Still, it makes me anxious. If you didn't come back, I couldn't bear it."
"Ugh, Your Majesty Cloudy, I'm so sorry."
This hurts worse than getting the shit kicked out of me.
"I'm not blaming you. What you did had to be done... I'm actually proud. Fighting like that means you've reached that level, right?"
Cloudy knelt in front of me, cupping my face.
"Still."
She soaped my cheeks while locking eyes.
"You can't ruin a handsome face like this... It's your most vulnerable spot. Bruises even block your vision. Scars would've been better—at least they'd be more than just bruises."
No, my heart...!
"...Want me to add some sword marks?"
"Only battle scars count."
Classic scar fetishist Cloudy.
"Sorry, Cloudy. I'll avoid dangerous stuff from now on."
"Yeah... not sure about that."
She wants a strong warrior like Heavenly Demon Kim Katt, so throwing myself into the fray to meet her expectations is part of it.
You can't dream of breakthroughs without risking your life.
"Can't you balance it out a bit? Katt?"
"Of course."
"Good experience, though. I'm satisfied. You did well, Katt."
Anyway, Cloudy smiled again and poured water over my head—warm water Winia had heated up.
"Seriously, no idea why they don't just burn that slum to the ground. Blackie, don't even think about going back there."
Winia lamented.
"But revenge seems necessary."
"What revenge? Skip that shit and just play with these instead. Huh?"
"Tits? Can't argue with that."
I even let them dry me off before heading straight to bed. Winia was still pissed, lying next to me and muttering curses.
"Fucking assholes, I wanna kill 'em all myself. Buncha beggars laying hands on my Blackie... why do they even exist?"
"They've got lives too."
I grabbed her massive breasts and said. Far from mad, she shifted to make it easier for me.
"Bullshit."
Soft and squishy. Yeah. Whatever else, Winia loves me. Letting me grope these violent tits anytime—ain't that enough?
"Katt, nothing down there's hurt, right? Won't forgive you if it is."
"Protected no matter what."
—Grab.
"Yeah, seems fine. Good job."
"Wait, praise for this?"
Cloudy grabbed my rock-hard dick from behind like always.
This is true mind-touch... Cyber burger handjob, I'm done for!!!!
Yeah, gotta drain the bad juices from my balls for good sleep. No wonder my rest sucked—pent-up lust.
"Aww, our Blackie took a beating but still hard as ever?"
Winia pressed against me, eyes all pitying.
"...Kinda embarrassing."
And so, it ended like always. Nice of them to go gentle on a full-body bruise butterfly patient.
◇◇◇◆◇◇◇ A few days later, fully recovered, I headed to see Karin early in the morning. This time slot was probably about an hour before the guild opened. Needed new gear anyway, but seeing my wife's face is duty and desire.
—Creak.
I flung open the unlocked front gate and grabbed the guild door handle. Open, as expected.
Sloppy security for a woman living alone, but Karin's security overkill in human form. Hell, "security" might as well read "murder."
Who'd steal from the sword guild's vault?
Lady of Isvant, guildmaster Liztina the martial artist. Karin, one of the city's true top four alongside the Magic Tower lord.
Even Heavenly Demon Kim Katt could only steal her heart. Total overkill.
—Step, step.
Up to the familiar second floor, office door slides open—Karin's on the sofa, chin propped, staring. No, glaring. Eyes narrowed.
"Hey."
Low voice.
...Rage palpable.
"It's been fucking forever, hubby?"
She'd noticed me at the front gate.
"Why so scarce lately? Feelings cooling off? No way, can't have that. I gave you my virginity—can't do me like this."
—Swipe, swipe.
She filed her nails with a menacing knife, words dripping malice. No! Not that! And you didn't "give" virginity—you chucked it at me like a Molotov!
"Wait! Sis Karin! It's not like that!"
"Like hell it ain't, you prick! Pants off, get over here!"
"Yes ma'am!"
Pants off in a flash, marched over, stood at attention. Somehow just that got me 30% hard—she eyed my dick intently.
"Hubby. Like I always say, I can't get satisfied without you anymore. You know that, right?"
"...Yes."
"Then why no dick, you fucker? You know how rough nights are!"
—Boom!
Karin slammed her knife into the sofa's wooden armrest. It buried in like a bunker buster, purple sparks flaring ominously from inside!
"Eek! My bad! There were circumstances!"
Insane power...!
"Hard!"
"Yes ma'am!"
—Snap!
Karin stripped off her leather pants and top in a blink. Black lingerie matching her hair suited her well. New stuff? She ditched the bra and said:
"You idiot... undress me already?"
Legs together for easy access.
"Right away!"
Peeled off her soaked panties—her cute pussy revealed. Yeah, I wanted Karin bad. Wanted to shove it deep inside.
"Quit teasing and fuck me already, asshole!"
"Ngh!"
She's on the sofa, awkward angle. Still, thrust in immediately. Rub the tip, stir the entrance, push home.
"Hah...! Fuck! Why'd you take so long, you hubby fuck! I've been waiting forever!"
"S-sorry!"
No time to waste.
We locked lips, tongues entwining. Knew what she liked—fingers already pinching her nipples hard. Her overflowing insides clenched tight.
"Hng...! Ahh! Fuck! Fuuuuck! Fucking looooove iiiit!!!!!!"
Pounded full throttle for like 30 minutes, creampied her four times inside. Finally calming, Karin said in her wrecked state:
"...Yeah, hubby's got a lot of girls, must be busy."
Oddly gentle tone.
"Still, fuck. Can't make me wait like this. At least swing by morning or night for a quick fuck! That's all I need!"
"Uwaaaah! Sorry!!"
"Tch."
Karin lit her pipe next to the sofa, crossed her legs, puffed out white smoke. —Fwoosh.
"Haa, fuck. Hey, give me the rundown. You're late, so... that, right? That thing?"
"What thing?"
"What else? Serial killings. It's all over your face, you pleasure-killer prick. How many'd you rack up? Sis is dying to know."
Figured.
She and Cloudy vibe similar, but difference: Cloudy sees killing for getting stronger; Karin just loves killing itself.
"Uh... way more than expected."
"Best story hook I've heard in my life."
"Fuck."
I gave Karin the update, detailing the back-alley massacre. She puffed smoke nonstop, listening—then burst out laughing at me bisecting Mersin.
"Kyahaha! That's fucking hilarious."
"Weird timing to laugh."
Mersin croaking is funny?
Wrapped it up like that. Added a dramatized beatdown of Lisette—she loved that too.
"Yeah, yeah. Seeing you kill that many with the sword I taught you? Puts my mind at ease. Haa... gonna sleep great tonight."
"What do you even think humans are?"
"Humans are for killing."
"That's terrifying."
So wrong.
"Terrifying? Kill 'em all. Slaughter away. Killing's what matters."
Saw darkness in Karin.
"Why do you love killing so much?"
"Got a lot of hate built up."
One last puff, set the pipe down. "A lot of hate"... thinking on it, she nudged my dick with her foot and said:
"Oh yeah, no sword, right? Buy a good one, idiot. Cheap shit breaks on claws."
"Was heading out for that... and it was expensive."
"Argh, fuck. Shoulda gone with you to pick."
Regretful tone.
"Tch, no time to shop together now. Sorry for flaking."
"Nah, it's fine. Don't sweat it."
"I fucking do. Anyway, open that cabinet over there."
Pointed to a corner cabinet.
"That one?"
"Yeah. Open it."
Old thing. Dust on fingers—creak. Inside: five swords lined up.
"Pick one."
"Wha, what! For real!"
"Don't get excited, dumbass. Not top-tier or anything. Just old swords I used to use—too good to toss. Decent enough for you. No waste giving to hubby."
I thanked her profusely, picked a black one about claymore size like my last.
"Whoa, that one's got history. Killed a shitload with it."
"Demon sword?"
"Nah. Just black iron—great durability. Bit heavy though."
Yeah, hefty. But more weight means harder hits. My strength handles it fine.
Thanks again.
"Thanks? Then come fuck me tomorrow."
"Yes!"
"That's it! Fuck, come every day! Got it?!"
"Of course!"
Saluted smartly—Karin shooed me out, time to open guild. I rinsed the lower half, dressed, grabbed the sword, and left.
Now, off to see Lady Lisha.
Craving milk.