Chapter 33
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Translator: MadScientist
Chapter: 33
Chapter Title: Swordsman Guild
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Once the not-too-long private swordsmanship lesson wrapped up, we immediately moved to the training grounds for physical conditioning.
That was the routine.
"Physical training is fucking important. In a fight, the stronger and tougher guy always wins. 'Isn't that obvious?' you say? Then why don't the people who know that bother exercising?"
For some reason, this Swordsman Guild doubled as a gym. Karin emphasized the importance of muscles and workouts like that, and since I'd paid up, I threw myself into training my body with everything I had.
Exercise makes you stronger. Exercise improves your stamina. And it makes you fucking healthy. It's common knowledge everyone knows, but surprisingly few people actually put in the time and effort for conditioning. Because it's a pain in the ass. True powerhouses were exactly those who'd overcome that barrier.
I stripped off my shirt and ran laps around the training grounds. Running builds stamina and endurance. It increases your lung capacity so you can fight longer, and strengthens your lower body to put more solid power into your swings. It's the ultimate all-purpose exercise.
"Huff... huff! Huff!"
"Good, good. That's the spirit. One more lap?"
"Tha... that... fuck!"
"Nice energy! Come on, you can do it! Our little maknae is doing great!"
Karin was running right beside me, too.
I was already past runner's high and barreling toward runner's dead—the point where you just keel over from intense running—but Karin was like a car with busted brakes that wouldn't stop. I had no idea how many times she'd already said "just one more lap."
"Hey, hey. Your form's off. You're gonna throw your back out."
When I came to, I was somehow hoisting logs for strength training.
Had my mind blanked out for a bit? It was unbelievable hellish training. The fact that I'd willingly crawled in here with my own two feet to pay for this shit... It had to be some transcendent being beyond lies inflicting this pain on me.
"Nice. You're following instructions so well, it's making my day. You've got grit. I like that. Your looks too. Everything about you just clicks with me."
I was starting to suspect she was just satisfying her sadistic hobbies by working me to the bone. The more I writhed in agony, the happier she seemed. She claimed it gave her a huge sense of accomplishment seeing her students get stronger, but that sounded like bullshit.
Anyway, while I was grinding away at conditioning, Karin was constantly buzzing around—guiding others, checking forms on the training grounds. She seemed pretty diligent.
"Done with conditioning? Next up is close-quarters combat."
For me, already half-dead, the last thing left was close-quarters combat, an extension of swordsmanship. In a blade fight, it's not just swords. When you're slashing and grappling up close, you might need to strike with limbs, or pin them with joint locks or grapples.
That's what this session covered.
"The skill for today... is knee-to-the-nuts crusher."
I balked at the vicious joke of a name.
"Wh-what?"
"Kneeing your opponent's balls to smash 'em. Come on, get up already. Stop sprawling."
"Smash what?"
"Up you get. Gonna lie there forever? Or what, you want me to smash yours?"
I shot up faster than a loosed arrow. Sure, guys with certain unsavory tastes might rejoice at a beauty offering to crush their balls, but that sure as hell wasn't me.
But crushing my enemy's balls? Not bad at all. A competent warrior knows to mercilessly target weak points.
In that vein, I felt like I was growing stronger by the day, in the most underhanded way possible. The knee-to-the-nuts technique was too inhumane to describe, so I'll skip it.
"See you, Guildmaster. Thanks for the session."
After a quick rinse at the guild's shower well, I hobbled out on trembling legs and bid Karin goodbye.
"Take care. Be early tomorrow."
"..."
Only after burning the whole morning did I finally escape the guild. That was my standard routine these days. Up at dawn to the guild for hellish training, clock out around lunch. Turning into a morning person and grinding workouts this hard—my life was so diligent it was lethal.
Now just head home and crash? Sleep deep to recover damaged muscles? Lie in bed replaying today's lessons in my head, dreaming of a stronger future?
Sadly, fuck no. That was a pipe dream.
Like I said, I'm dirt poor by default, and this world doesn't let the poor slack off after a workout and sleep easy.
"No money, fuck."
After blowing 5 silvers, what slacking could I afford? It was time to clock in. Goddamn it. I chewed hard on the jerky I'd packed for protein, trudging along. Dragging my exhausted, heavy body from training to the job site.
A five-day workweek? Don't make me laugh.
"Holy shit, it reeks."
I'd arrived at the city's underground sewers.
Ever think about how vital aqueducts are? They bring clean water to the city, one of humanity's greatest feats for survival. No more stagnant filth means cleaner cities, fewer diseases, healthier people, lower death rates, booming population.
The sewers were choked with every kind of trash and filth, stinking like absolute ass. Got this gig through the guild—city "part-time work"—and here I was.
Time-wise, heading out for hunts or quests after lunch was impossible. No one to party with, and the short daylight left before sunset limited options. If I knew the area, I'd gather herbs, but I'd just gotten here, so no dice.
I had no choice but to find work in the city.
And this sewer patrol was it. A daily 5 copper gig for E-rank adventurers and up. Eat, shit, sleep, gone—mayfly work.
Nothing else started around noon, so what could I do?
"You're here."
"Yeah. Have a good one."
I greeted Merman, my patrol partner. Sewers were vital infrastructure, needing guards and patrols. Bust illegal dumpers, exterminate monsters sneaking in.
"Let's head in."
"Sure."
The stench assaulted my nose. I wrapped a cloth like a mask over it. Shift was lunch to evening. I'd scarfed jerky on the way, so I could tough it out.
Basically, we wandered the sewers with Merman, spotting anything unusual.
The dark tunnels got decent light from sunlight filtering through surface holes. But it vanished deeper down. Needed lanterns.
Before descending to the second level, Merman lit one. We probed onward by its glow.
"Whoa, big trash."
"Hmm... location..."
We found a massive hunk of drifted debris. Probably brown once, now slimy black. Too gross to touch. Log the spot, cleanup crew handles it later.
"No valuables, huh."
"No one tosses stuff worth money."
"Damn, that's convincing."
"Let's take a break here."
"Heh, you know your shit."
Who patrols nonstop for hours? Gotta slack off midway, take it easy. Merman was a good guy like that. He spread his cloak in a decent spot and flopped down. I did the same beside him.
"Sleep well."
The man was a pro at this.
Veteran for sure.
"Night."
Stink wasn't ideal for sleep, but with the mask and adaptation, it was fine. Plus, training had wrecked me—eyes closed, sleep hit fast. Nap, wake up, fake a bit more work, pocket 5 coppers easy.
Sorry guild for the trust, but my conscience busted years ago. I'm a total scumbag fucker.
That's when it happened.
A chilling sensation snapped my eyes open.
"Fire..."
Even in the dark, I calmly lit the lantern.
Revealing...
"Wh-what?!"
Screams erupted!
Slimes! A fuckton of slimes...! A slime army swarming us! Worthless fodder monsters, but when they're this many, shit changes.
They crept toward us slowly. Insidiously.
"What the fuck are these shitheads! Merman! These fuckers!"
Floors, walls, ceilings...! So many gelatinous blobs, it was like a frogspawn nightmare. Merman finally stirred, rubbing his eyes casually.
"Ah, sewer slimes. Purple ones—dangerous. Poisonous. Let's bail quick."
"B-but there's a shitload!"
"Happens all the time. Stay calm. Poison only hurts bare skin."
True to his senior patrol vet status, Merman was cool as ice. He dodged floor slimes with nimble steps. Slimes eat corpses and rot, so they're slow, dumb as bricks. Probably mistook us for carrion.
"Hm... overdid it maybe. Better snag a few and report: 'Slimes infested the sewer—couldn't proceed. Barely escaped fierce battle.'"
"Fuck, genius idea. You too smart, Merman?"
"Years at this, you pick it up."
So we slaughtered slimes. They oozed away slow even fleeing—stab the translucent cores, yank 'em out, they lost tension and melted.
After some messy work, satisfied with results, we surfaced. Merman gave a straight-faced report. I grabbed my pay and bounced.
1 copper bathhouse, 3 copper inn, 1 copper food. Fuck, living day-to-day. Up early again tomorrow for the guild.