Chapter 228
Chapter 228
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Translator: MadScientist
Chapter: 228
Chapter Title: Crusader Army
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Due to the ongoing battles, supplies must be running low, so there had to be somewhere nearby to sell looted clothes and gear. I could just ask a passing soldier for directions.
"Elise? What are you thinking about so intently?"
Elise, who was walking beside me, stared blankly off into the distance with a dazed look on her face. I wondered if she was seeing some vision of heretics, but there was nothing out of the ordinary.
"...Saint."
At my call, Elise turned to look at me.
"Hm? What is it?"
"You called them a 'trio couple,' didn't you?"
Ah, so that's what had her bothered?
Then again, excluding heretics and monsters, Elise had a relatively normal mindset. A threesome relationship might come across as some cultural oddity to her. No wonder it stuck with her after seeing it yesterday.
"A bit strange, right?"
"It seems like a very unique arrangement."
"Well, it is unique. But I don't think it's an improper form. Love comes in all sorts of shapes, after all."
"It's a bit hard for me to grasp."
"Love's always difficult."
As the elder here, I decided to impart some wisdom.
"Love is... an equation. One you'll never solve. Something like... trigonometric functions... vectors... that kind of thing. Love is."
I didn't really know if it was equations or trig or vectors or what, but love felt kinda like an equation anyway. I didn't fully understand love either.
But one thing was certain: math problems had answers.
Claudia and Winia were exactly those answers.
That was the conclusion I'd reached between liberal-arts Kim Katt and science Kim Katt. F meant don't burn down Fire Village. L stood for love.
"A harmonious marriage must be the greatest blessing. The three of you getting along so well is truly fortunate."
"You think so? Definitely... yeah. A blessing."
God bless, for real.
Our relationship was harmonious too.
Winia had a foul mouth, sure, but her cursing had entered charm territory, so I had no complaints. What was there to dislike when she said she liked me?
Married life was satisfying enough to share love every single day, and ever since forming our threesome couple bandit-hunting crew, money wasn't tight anymore.
Life was perfectly harmonious.
"Come to think of it, you could call the Saint a married man."
"Not 'could'—I am a married man. Hm... If the term feels awkward, does the Radiant Cross Society forbid marriage or something?"
It was something I'd been curious about.
Could isekai holy folk even get married?
Naturally, rules varied by church, but what about the Radiant Cross Society?
"Not at all. It's a faith for humanity—banning marriage would be ironic. We simply abstain while devoting ourselves to bringing paradise. Of course, even with abstinence, I've never seen anyone marry within the church."
"So all the members are eternal bachelors and spinsters."
"Hehe. Yes. Of course, I am as well..."
She was right at the age where such things would pique her interest.
Was that why she'd asked?
"It's a shame for someone like Elise to stay a spinster."
I could easily picture Elise swinging her mace at 20 or even 30, without a second thought. A life stained with holy violence—that was the fate of isekai devotees.
But getting so absorbed in service to God that she never learned true love... that felt a little tragic.
I was Kim Katt, the man who knew love.
That's why I could say this.
"Elise. Life is long. You never know what might happen. So, as long as it's not evil or straying from the righteous path, don't you think doing what you want is the right way to live?"
"...The right way, you mean."
"Yeah... Heh. That got too deep. Hey, let's ask that soldier over there where to sell this stuff."
"...Understood."
I asked a passing soldier about places to sell supplies. He kindly pointed us in the direction, so we headed there. They were buying looted goods at a temporary supply depot.
"I'm the temporary supply officer. Mind showing me the looted goods?"
"Here—the usable stuff I picked up."
I pulled out everything we'd gathered from butchering bandits today.
Clothes, weapons, and all sorts of miscellaneous gear.
"Ooh, spoils from taking down bandits, eh? Let me see... I'll buy the lot for about 4 silver."
A bit under what I'd estimated, but this was war—couldn't be helped. We closed the deal for 4 silver coins and handed it all over.
We'd gotten about 4 silver rifling through their pockets too, and with the jewelry we still had, daily income hit a solid 10 silver.
Nice.
"Elise. Let's head back. Tomorrow, we'll show those evil heretics the true power of Divine Friend's unbreakable friendship again."
"Of course. Then let's return. Tomorrow brings its own duties."
We went back to our lodgings and, like yesterday, paid 3 coppers to bathe. Damn it. Still just the one tub. I really needed to bring my own washbasin next time.
I calmed the clinging Claudia and Winia, then closed my eyes.
◇◇◇◆◇◇◇ The next day, and the day after that, we combed the forests around the barony hunting bandits. It felt just like casually grinding field mobs. The vibe was so off-kilter now that no one would dream we were out human-hunting.
All because there'd been zero raids.
Unlike what the commander who'd greeted us on arrival had said, no massive bandit hordes marched on villages. So we had no choice but to go out and hunt them down ourselves.
Fwoosh!
"Guaaahhh!!!!"
The Fire Bolt I fired roasted the fleeing bandit in one hit.
Fire Bolt packed great lethality, but it had the fatal flaw of torching all the loot too.
The guy thrashed in the flames before collapsing as a charred crisp. I flipped the corpse over with my foot.
Burnt smell wafted up.
"Winia. No spells that just singe the head? Everything's too burnt to salvage."
"I could aim that precise, but can't stop the flames from spreading to their clothes."
"I see. Too bad."
Today, we'd successfully sniffed out another bandit camp. We ambushed the second we spotted it and won without much hassle. Elise rocketed out like lightning and smashed one flat; I grabbed another and diced him up. Easy.
They couldn't even react.
The roasted one had been trying to bolt.
Too nimble for anything but magic.
"Gaaahhh!!! "
"Shut up."
A scream echoed from nearby.
That was the guy Claudia was up against. She'd picked the burliest-looking bandit to "test her skills" on.
"Darkie. Let's watch that."
"Yeah."
Claudia and the bandit's duel was in full swing.
The three of us sat in a circle around them, spectating.
Clang! Clang!
Claudia, grinning wickedly with her twin curved swords, swung both arms wide. The bandit—slender but with a serial-killer vibe—barely parried the onslaught.
"Fuck! You fuck!"
Of course, Claudia was just toying with him.
"You fucking bitch! Shitty cunt!"
The guy, tears streaming halfway down his face, started spewing curses. Claudia didn't give a damn and lunged. Clang! He barely blocked the dramatic strike, but it was all theater.
Desperate deathmatch for him. Playtime for her.
Trampling the weak like that? So damn cool!
Claudia best! Way too awesome!
I'll become a man like that someday!
"Woo! Claudia! You're the best! Kill him!"
"That sister's got some twisted tastes. But damn, she can fight."
"Heretic! How does it feel to be mere entertainment? Savor these emotions—they'll be your last! A humiliating death! That's your end!"
We each tossed in a line as we watched the heretic's finale.
He whipped around, glaring at us with rage-twisted fury, but no matter what he tried, Claudia was unbeatable. It was ant versus human.
"Fucking shitheads! You're all dead meat, you bastards! I'll kill this bitch right now and... Gaaahhh!!! Hack!!"
All mouth, that one.
We jeered instantly.
"Kahahaha!! Die? In your dreams, asshole! Respawn and you'd still lose! Claudia! Finish quick!"
"Hehe, gotcha. How should I end it?"
"Kick! Finish with a kick!"
"Sure."
Claudia took the request like a pro wrestler. The bandit, pissed beyond belief at the spectacle, exploded in rage.
"You fucking bitches—!!!!"
Swoosh!
His final death cry.
Sheathing her sword, Claudia suddenly closed in and thwack! drove a side kick straight into his jaw. Crunch. Brutal power.
Snap!
His neck tore clean off from the impact, head launching skyward like a missile. The spine-trailing death scene was straight-up impressive. The head arced in a parabola before snagging in a tree.
"Claudia! Too cool!"
I rushed over and threw myself at her in a hug.
Her face refreshed, she wrapped her arms around my waist.
"Yeah, yeah. Still kinda disappointing, though. Hardly any strong ones showing up. Wonder if those 'blessed' guys are even nearby."
"Yeah? No sign of 'em."
We chilled a bit, then looted the spoils. Smooth as ever. Looked like we'd rake in more cash than expected. Maybe save up hard and snag a rare metal sword?
I was rummaging through the corpses in high spirits when—
Drip.
Water fell from the sky.
I looked up. It was raining.
"Hey, hey. Rain's starting."
"...Annoying. Takes a while to get back."
The rain was picking up bit by bit.
Judging by the gathering clouds, it'd only get worse—no signs of stopping. We hurriedly packed and shouldered our bags.
"Let's move out fast. Gonna pour."
We'd get drenched going back at this rate.
Thinking that, we started moving—and the rain intensified.
"Saint. We should find shelter from the rain first."
"Yeah!"
In the end, we ducked into a nearby small cave to wait it out. Traveling in rain was risky all around. Better to hole up a little late than sorry.
Getting sick would wipe out our profits.
"Ugh, soaked through."
Claudia shook out her hair after doffing her hooded cloak. Elise shook hers too, and so did I. Winia didn't bother—her wide-brimmed pointed hat had served as an umbrella.
Waterproof, even.
"Damn. Only my nipples got wet."
Breasts that big, only the tips caught it.
Impressive.
"Darkie. Scrounge up anything burnable deeper in the cave. We'll make a fire and dry off."
"Got it... Oh, right. I have oil."
"Darkie finally did something useful. Gimme the oil, then go grab kindling."
"On it."
"Saint. I'll provide light."
Fwoosh.
Elise cast Holy Light, brightening the area.
Lighting duty: Elise, as always.
There were scattered fallen leaves and twigs deeper in. I gathered them with Elise... Just an empty cave?
"No traces anywhere—looks like an empty one."
"Yeah, nothing much."
Seemed like it. After puttering around for about twenty minutes, we'd scraped together enough kindling for a decent fire.
"...Ah. Darkie's back?"
"What're you two up to?"
"Nothing. Set this up for the fire."
"Okay."
A weird tension hung between Claudia and Winia. Damn it! If only she'd come back later...! Anyway, I piled the gathered kindling into bonfire shape.
Now to have Winia light it.
Mages were all-purpose, alright.
With a mage around, no fretting over fire.
It was right then, as Winia brought her staff to the kindling.
"...Wait."
Claudia said it low.
We instantly drew weapons and plastered ourselves silent against the cave wall. Our long sync meant no words needed.
Something was coming.
Swish.
Outside was dark, rain pattering.
Amid it all, a faint presence prickled.
Thud.
"Hm?"
A man with an Azathoth tattoo etched on his face stepped into the cave mouth. Our eyes met. He wore a puzzled look, like he'd spotted something bizarre.
"Kim Katt Thrust."
Reflex kicked in—like I was possessed—the blade lashed out.
Old habit: if it looks like an enemy, stab first, ask questions never.
The sword plunged into his solar plexus. He tried to speak, then spewed blood.
"Kuhk?!"
Just like a Metal Slug 3 zombie bomb.
What a nostalgic blast, shit.