Chapter 224
Chapter 224
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Translator: MadScientist
Chapter: 224
Chapter Title: Crusade Army
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Well, at least the room looked plenty big enough for the three of us.
I dumped my backpack in the corner the second we walked in and pulled out some hardtack to chew on. Even riding in a carriage all day, long-distance travel drained way more stamina than you'd think.
My whole body felt wiped out.
I'd planned to do some scouting on arrival day, but no way was that happening now. Time was a bit iffy anyway, so it made more sense to rest up today and start fresh tomorrow.
"Let's just chill today and kick off tomorrow. I'm beat."
"Blackie's got the right idea. Yeah, we need a day to recover. This big sis was geared up to work, though... Elves really are something else."
Winia wanted to rest too.
The carriage had been bouncing around pretty bad this morning.
"Mmm... I kinda wanted to head out for a bit. We're resting today?"
Claudy sounded disappointed.
Typical half-elf stamina—way beyond human levels.
She didn't show a hint of fatigue after hours on the road.
And she'd been itching for some action the whole time.
Of course, if Claudy wanted to go, I'd head out with her right away.
"Gotta swing by the local shops at least... Claudy, wanna check outside the village? We can go together. Scouting's on the list anyway."
"Nah, I'm good. Tomorrow's fine."
"You look bummed. Sure you're okay?"
"Yeah... I'm fine. Thinking of me? Thanks."
"Always just you on my mind. Heh."
Claudy perked up with a smile and plopped down on the bed. I figured we'd rest a bit then hit the shops, but Winia, who'd shrugged off her coat, rummaged through her bag and spoke up.
"Ughhh... I'm so grimy. Blackie, I'm gonna wash up, so go grab a map while you're out. We need to know what's around. And sis, you come too. There's outdoor showers. Bring the nun girl along."
The innkeeper had mentioned gender-separated communal showers in the back yard. If a roof and fence around a well counted as a shower room, anyway.
They charged 3 coppers to use it in wartime. 3 coppers per shower was insane, but Winia didn't seem fazed.
Our senses of money were on different planets.
With that, Winia dragged Claudy out by the hand.
I needed a wash too... Fuck. Money was too damn tight.
Anyway, I sat for a minute before heading outside. We needed a map to hunt those bandit bastards nearby. First time here and all.
I had no clue about the terrain.
Charging in blind was suicide.
Thought about bringing Divine Friend along, but from their chat, all three were heading to wash up. A twinge of regret hit me as I wandered the village.
—One, two! One, two!
—One, two! One, two!
—One, two! One, two!
The soldiers were drilling with solid discipline, street stalls were open, and groups of adventurers munched on snacks as they strolled.
War was on, but it didn't feel like total chaos. Life went on to some degree.
I'd only pictured world wars or Korea's own when thinking of war, so this felt off. The bandits weren't full-on assaulting the village—just guerrilla hits, probably.
I roamed looking for a general store, but couldn't spot one, so I grabbed a nearby soldier. He was by the public latrine, maybe waiting for a buddy.
"Uh, hey. Hello, soldier."
"Uh, yeah? What do you need?"
"Looking for a general store... Can't find it. Know where it is?"
"Ah, adventurer, huh? Head straight that way—you'll see it."
He pointed right.
"Thanks a ton. You're a real nice guy."
"Heh, I try. First time here?"
"Yeah, rolled in on the carriage today."
I'd just wanted directions, but got roped into chatting. Bored, maybe? He was friendly enough, so I stuck around for some intel gathering.
We shot the breeze, and I asked about the war situation.
"Doesn't seem too dire to me. Locals are cooperative, palisade's high enough to hold. We were in heavy fighting a couple days ago... but they couldn't breach it. Village has some breathing room. All wins so far."
He spoke confidently.
I remembered the contractor saying it was a brutal holdout. Guess enlisted and officers see it differently.
"Ooh, really? Baron's army is no joke, huh."
"Lost ground—how's it different?"
"Right, heard the baron's forces retreated... That it?"
"Yep. Front lines hit a trap or something—ranks collapsed in seconds. Monster-like bastards... Barely pulled back. They didn't cross the palisade, though."
"Whoa, monsters, huh? Those heathen bandits that strong?"
"Don't get me started. Ones blessed by evil gods sliced men in half."
He looked queasy, like he'd seen it firsthand.
More details followed.
"Not many like that, mind. They're the elite among bandits. But even the rabble weren't pushovers... That blessing amps 'em up, makes 'em fight like demons."
Guy was super chatty—we talked forever without noticing the time. Got some solid info, though.
Ended on a joke about his buddy falling in the shitter.
"Take care. Local bandits aren't top-tier, but exceptions always lurk. Stay sharp."
"Thanks for the tip. You too, soldier."
"Heh, Mirkegya's friend is a good kid!"
We parted, and I headed his way.
Main street had a few shop-looking buildings. I poked around and found the general store.
—Creak.
"Open for business?"
"...Yeah."
Had plenty of rations already, so just grabbed lamp oil for emergencies and the map—that was the goal.
"Got maps?"
"Need one for around here?"
"Yep. Cheapest you've got."
"20 coppers."
"Damn."
Burning cash left and right here, fuck.
I came to work, not vacation. Trembling hands handed over 20 coppers. Fine, necessary expense. Map means we can smash those heathens. Cover the loss with their loot.
Not my money—bandit money.
That eased the sting.
The map looked decent enough.
I wouldn't know, but Winia and Elise would.
Headed straight back to the inn.
Voices from the door.
...Thin walls.
Opened it.
"Katt, back?"
"Yeah. Claudy. You're out."
All three were lounging on the beds in casual clothes.
Wait, all three?
"You were all here?"
"Ah, holy one. We were just chatting."
Divine Friend was there too.
Not in habit— the casual clothes from before.
"About what?"
"Discussing heathen hunt strategy."
"Nice."
Productive and righteous talk.
"Blackie. Go wash up."
"Yeah, need to. Shower decent?"
"Just a well, like they said. Shitty."
"Figures."
Unbuckled my belt, shed the breastplate, then gauntlets, greaves, and quilted armor. Sweat stench hit hard. Three days unwashed—man smell for sure.
Carefully stacked gear on the bag, stripped shirt and pants.
Elise already looked away.
Quick change to shorts, grabbed towel and undies, headed out in spare sandals.
Longboots suck for showers.
Didn't make sense with shorts anyway.
"Gonna use the shower?"
Creeping out sneaky-like, but the kid popped up.
Inn staff, probably.
"Right, 3 coppers?"
"Yes."
"Here... You really work here?"
"I do."
"Lie and my bro'll do something bad. For real?"
"Totally."
Felt sketchy, but paid and went.
Expected crap, but shelves and all—pleasant surprise. Stripped and entered.
Well then.
"..."
"..."
"..."
Any satisfaction shattered.
Just a lone well in the center. Three rough-looking guys—adventurers? Mercs? Locals?—passed a single dipper around. —Splash. One stoic-faced dude poured over himself, solemn as hell, handed it off.
All hardasses. Carp tattoos screaming yakuza, but they washed in reverent silence.
I awkwardly joined the line.
What the fuck is this surreal hell.
"..."
Waited; white-bearded grandpa passed the dipper.
Scooped from main bucket, doused, passed to next guy.
"..."
Infinite loop.
"..."
What is this shit.
Save me.
They went glacially slow, and why only one dipper? Wanted to dunk hands in the bucket, but vibe said no—pure agony.
Monks or what?
Dipper back to me.
Irritated, I splashed lower half, soaped up the goods. Gotta clean the important bits. Size made it look like jerking, but it wasn't lewd.
"...Big."
"...Huge."
"...Club down there."
Going slow to conserve water, their eyes locked on. Trio stared dead serious.
"Huh? What? What the hell! Stop staring! Look away!"
"...Pardon."
"The fuck!"
They awkwardly covered up and bolted mid-wash. I was speechless. What the actual fuck.
Finished alone, feeling grossed out but wordless.
Brushed teeth with travel powder too—clean Kim Katt reborn. Three days' stress gone.
Would get filthy rolling tomorrow, but that's life.
Knocked before entering—topless in shorts, didn't want Elise seeing.
Went in.
"..."
"..."
Locked eyes with Elise right away.
"Th-the holy one's body..."
"Kyaa! Elise! Don't look!"
She freaked, covering her chest. My dynamite bod was too much for her! Sexy man Kim Katt—strictly 18+...!
"Fuck off and die, you little shit. Quit the drama and sit. Planning tomorrow. And what crap map is this? Total junk."
Winia's nagging rang as I grabbed shorts to wear.
Elise had been waiting to open for my knock.
Ah, fuck, so embarrassing...
Plopped by Claudy anyway.
The three had the map spread on the bed, mid-discussion.
"Katt, shoulders look broader?"
"Huh? Yeah? Already mountain-wide, now bigger? Jacked as hell. Doors won't fit soon. Fucked."
"Heehee, true. Oh, arms too?"
"Yeah? Heh heh... C'mere!"
Poking Claudy's sides, flirting a sec—then sharp stares hit.
Winia glaring, Elise fixated.
"Blackie, cut the bullshit and look at the map."
"..."
"Uh, yeah."
Met Elise's eyes; she dodged mine.
...My muscles bugging her?
Tomorrow, teach Ultimate Divine Health Training!
Elise reborn as Holy Muscle Sister—future secured.