Chapter 195
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Translator: MadScientist
Chapter: 195
Chapter Title: Mana Man Kim Katt
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"Enlightenment."
I wandered out of the castle gates in a daze.
It was around noon, right after my morning training session. Normally, I'd head straight back and dive into meditation, but for some reason today, I felt the need for a change of pace. Lately, I'd been pouring everything into training without a single day off.
—Splash.
A chilly wind.
Winter must be coming soon; the air felt cold.
Winter.
Winters in this world were always brutal, but at least this year, it wouldn't be so bad. Winter was a horrific season no matter how you looked at it. It was the same back in the military, and even worse here. At least I'd switched to being an adventurer by then; if I'd faced it as a homeless bum, I would've frozen to death.
I'd somehow survived it twice, I think.
Fresh memories surfaced of huddling together with other beggars in a corner of a barn. If you didn't group up, you'd freeze solid. Then you'd wake up to three coppers and a hunk of bread, spending the whole day shoveling snow.
That was a massive undertaking.
Looking at the trees starting to turn red brought those thoughts back.
Thinking about it just pissed me off.
I shook my head vigorously to erase the memories.
"...Winter's coming soon, huh."
Anyway, outside the castle walls.
The world where monsters lived.
Of course, I had no intention of hunting monsters alone without any party members. I just needed to stay near the city. In other words, I craved some fresh air and a moment of solitude.
As always, the guards' procedures were a joke. I'd never seen these guys actually do any real work, and that familiarity felt oddly comforting.
—Crunch, crunch.
I walked for about thirty minutes before entering the forest, deliberately choosing paths people rarely took. The area was so vast that once you went this far in, it was hard to spot other adventurers.
A quiet space with no one around, just the sound of the wind. Any monsters? A quick scan showed none. It was too close to the city. Most monsters lived at least an hour away. There was nothing here.
Confirming it was safe, I drew my sword.
Alright, let's get started.
—Whoosh!
There, in that spot.
With no one watching.
"Black."
I performed the Sword Dance.
"Lightly."
Starting from the first form of the Practical Swordsmanship, flowing into the full Practical Sword Dance. —Whoosh, whoosh! Like an exotic, seductive assassin dancer from a foreign land, I shook my body with sword in hand, dancing as if tempting blood and violence.
Could I reach it?
No way to know.
I just focused on communing with mana through this dance honed to its extreme. The sword's trajectory. The flow of air. The movement of my body. Karin said the truth lay somewhere in there. Was that what I needed? Or enlightenment from within?
"Keep your back straight."
A refined form of extreme slashing for real combat.
The blade tore through the air with a piercing whistle. Terrifying power. Most monsters wouldn't survive a single strike from me. There weren't many beings I couldn't cut down.
That was visible.
"Plant your feet."
Against an orc right now, what odds could I pull? Endless review and technique refinement had pushed it past fifty percent. But without using mana, even at my best, it'd be sixty percent tops.
In ten fights.
I'd die four times.
That's the gap between species.
An average human could never beat an orc one-on-one.
Humans gained intelligence, but orcs gained brute strength. It wasn't even a fair matchup to begin with. Spears and groups—that's how you face them.
"Infuse mana."
That's why anyone who could kill an orc solo earned respect. Come to think of it, orcs were right on the line between D-rank and C-rank monsters, right? Probably.
—Thud.
I stopped the sword dance.
Mana still wouldn't flow into it.
It was definitely filling my body, yet I couldn't control it freely. Bloody battles. Could I only progress through real combat, not training? That blazing fighting spirit had surged spontaneously; hard to grasp it now.
A short break.
Then thrust the sword again.
—Slash!
I recalled the experience of killing.
Experiences of killing that I now brushed off casually. Something ominous stirred. Something with a dark red gleam.
Of course, I had no idea what it was, so I delved deeper.
Kill a person.
Sever their life.
Kill a fellow human.
Kill a sentient being.
Humans are thinking beings... but those I'd killed didn't think. Were they even human? In my eyes, they weren't.
Gang members aren't human.
So I hadn't killed humans.
Repeated thoughts.
Swelling delusions.
Justification or denial?
For me, carrying modern sensibilities into this world, it wasn't something I could rationalize and move past easily. So I'd ignored it.
Rationalization.
In the end, agonizing was proof of hesitation.
In the end, agonizing was...
Proof I'm not some macho brute.
In the end, agonizing was...
"...It's tough."
When I snapped out of it, my whole body was drenched in sweat. Intense focus had erased my sense of time. Thirsty, I gulped from my canteen. Time... about two hours had passed?
Compared to inner world training, I fatigued so quickly here.
This was my reality.
Hyper-fucking-loser.
Kim Katt.
I returned to the city empty-handed.
The frustration didn't lift.
No mood boost.
I'd just dwelled on last winter pointlessly.
Was I being too impatient?
Truth be told, mastering mana in a month was laughable. If effort alone did it, everyone would wield mana. Effort, talent, innate luck, and sensitivity—only those with the full combo became mana users.
Greed.
Avarice.
The desire to grow strong fast was childish stubbornness. Willpower alone couldn't do it. Effort alone couldn't. So what was needed was...
Still.
Even a tiny bit faster.
Shorten the time.
Handle mana freely sooner. Then tell Claudy nonchalantly, 'Mana? Oh, that? Picked it up on the way. No big deal.' She'd love it. She'd be thrilled.
That's why I obsessed over training and enlightenment.
"To do that."
Should I grab a few slum dwellers, cut them down, and relive that sensation? Karin said killing humans was true experience. And honestly, each kill felt like it made me strangely stronger.
That thought gripped me hard.
"..."
Heart demon.
...What if I actually turned into the serial killer Karin joked about? My resolve wavered. Impatience had cost me reason momentarily. The path to evil demons tempted me.
Is this what a heart demon feels like?
I wasn't crazy.
I steadied my shaking mind.
—Creak.
I walked the streets like in a dream, reality blending with unreality. Before I knew it, I was at the inn, holding the circlet without realizing. Reality was stifling. Inner world training felt more efficient, more tangible.
I couldn't resist the temptation.
I donned the circlet.
The world faded.
Darkness rose, and I stepped into my inner world.
"Omnipotence."
Iron bars stood before me.
This wasn't reality. That strengthened me. I hammered the bars with my sword wildly. No need to think now. Just focus on destroying the target. Thoughts could wait.
—Boom! —Boom!
—Boom! —Boom!
Amid the clang of metal on metal.
—...
A faint something.
"What?"
Something like a voice. Even in my inner world, I couldn't make it out clearly... But it was definitely from me.
—Boom! Boom!
The more I struck, the louder it grew. I strained to listen. It was louder but still noisy, indistinct. Clearer? No, just amplified.
—A mournful wail.
Calling to me.
"What."
Instinct told me.
"What are you trying to say?"
The source of this voice.
"Is my inner self?"
Was my inner self.
"Can I only learn by breaking this? But I still can't. Despite all my efforts, not a scratch."
—Boom! —Boom! I infused mana and slashed fiercely again. Unlike reality, no fatigue. Overflowing power. The sensation from life-or-death fights surged through my fingertips.
"Because I don't know myself yet?"
I slashed repeatedly. Slashed and slashed.
Like throwing eggs at a rock.
That thought hit me.
"Because I haven't achieved enlightenment?"
Would the rock ever crack?
After thousands, tens of thousands of throws?
No.
Because the egg was just an egg.
"Maybe both."
But.
"I won't agonize."
I'm no egg.
"No torment."
If anything, I'm a bunker-busting missile.
"If it won't break, I advance."
Rocks are just dog chews.
"That's Kim Katt."
—Boom!
"...!"
A crack formed in the iron bars. 'I did it.' The thought flashed, and before the surging enlightenment faded, I smashed my sword in to finish it. —Boom! Metal shards flew. It was working—my attacks were landing.
"A being I can destroy."
Something I could shatter.
Taking damage.
A being I could ultimately overcome.
"Burning confidence."
Contempt for the weak.
ON.
"I win."
Mythic power erupted from deep within, enveloping my body. Cause and effect. If there's effect, there's cause.
If destruction by me is the result.
No need for cause.
Result alone suffices.
—Boom!
Cracks spread through the fractured bars like black ink spilling, peeling paint and scattering fragments. Then —Whoooong! The trembling mass wailed eerily.
Stop? Or hurry?
"..."
Even if the former, all the time invested forbade quitting. No hesitation, just resolute. I slashed the nearly breaking bars.
Slashed.
And slashed.
—Slice.
The blade didn't stop.
It cleaved straight through.
"Success."
—Rumble rumble rumble!!!
The iron bars shattered simultaneously.
They crumbled and vanished, revealing a vast, near-void expanse of dark inner world ground where the massive barrier had been. As if they'd never existed, the bars were gone forever.
—Thump!
"This is."
A powerful urge.
An irresistible impulse swallowed me.
—...!!!
The inner voice pulled me strongly!
"What..."
What lay at this end?
I gazed beyond where the bars had vanished.
"..."
And.
It was there, at the far end.
"...That."
A hazy shape in the distance.
Like a birdcage confining a bird, yet also a prison for humans. Yes, a complex 'cage.' The drooping bricks were cracked or broken, and the bars looked shabby.
An eerie impulse.
Pressure to check it.
Dazed, I approached it.