Chapter 163
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Translator: MadScientist
Chapter: 163
Chapter Title: Kobolds and the Underground Labyrinth
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Somehow, it was an alluring crown.
The pitch-black color like utter darkness was striking, and the jagged spikes protruding like thorns on a crown of thorns gave it an aggressive vibe that I really liked. It looked exactly like a cursed item at first glance, but isn't this what swag is all about?
"Now."
Oh, ooh...! The crown!
The crown is calling to me!
I lifted the crown above my head.
"We are one."
Then I slowly lowered my hand and placed it on my head. A heavy weight settled in...
A chill ran down my spine in an instant... This, this!
This is!
A bread bomb!
"Gahhhh!!!"
I freaked out and flung the crown away. That familiar sensation! It was the weight of a bread bomb! I, Kim Katt, am an indomitable reservist who would rather take a bullet to the head than ever wear one of those things!
"I'm not Private Kim anymore!!!"
A creepy shudder wracked my entire body!
"S-Saint?"
"Hah... hah... It's nothing. Let's just grab everything worth taking for now."
Elise grabbed my shoulder with a puzzled look. I'm fine. No big deal. It was just a momentary flashback that seized my body and mind.
"...I'll get the bag."
I retrieved the bag I'd taken off before the fight earlier. There wasn't much worth taking from this place. The Kobold Warriors' fangs and claws. The restraints that had bound the queen and the crown. That was it.
"Tch. Not much to show for it. But that crown might fetch a decent price if we sell it."
"A bit disappointing, but unavoidable."
A crown that screamed cursed item at first glance—it had to have some magical value. Should I take it to Lisha and see if she'll buy it? I could sell the wand rotting in the corner of the inn while I'm at it.
She'd told me to come back last time anyway.
I organized the bag. Stuffed in the restraints and crown, then piled up the warriors' fingers and fangs that looked like some serial killers' twisted trophies. Didn't forget the guardians' bone fragments either.
Winia said she'd handle selling them, so they'd fetch something.
Honestly, I had no idea what magical use nails and fangs had.
"For all that work, we really came away with jack shit."
Not a satisfying haul anyway. What can you do? This trip was a bit of a miscalculation. If we'd found the treasure room, maybe, but all we got was a rampaging queen.
I slung the bag over my shoulder and headed to the back.
"Claudy. Is Winia doing any better? Can she walk?"
"Not at all. Carry me, Katt."
"Sure."
"Ah, sis!"
I handed the bag to Elise.
"Elise, hold this for a sec."
"Got it."
I bent my knees.
"Alright, line up. Tall Claudy first on my back, then you, Winia, on Claudy's back."
"Guess I'll ride Katt then?"
Claudy jumped up and climbed on first.
Heavy, but good. I can handle it. I'm Kim Katt, King of Might. I turned my head and told Winia too. "Hop on quick." But she scowled.
"No, fuck, blackie? This isn't what I wanted."
"What can I do? I've only got one body."
"Sis looks fine, so just carry me."
"Claudy looks beat too."
"Blackie, you're such a fucking asshole."
Winia spat it out and approached.
She hesitated a bit but grabbed onto Claudy's back and grunted her way up, clearly wanting the ride. And thus, the triple-stack Kim Katt was complete (not in a sexual way). I stood up to launch.
"Grrraaah!!"
"Kyaa!"
"Kyaaa!"
—Crash!
Like I could stand? My strength gave out immediately, and we toppled. Anything else maybe, but supporting Winia's chest was impossible. Winia cursed, and Claudy chuckled softly.
"Well. Looks impossible. Everyone walk on their own."
"Yeah, too bad. Shall we head out then?"
"Blackie, you fucking retarded bitch, for real."
I took the bag back from Elise and we set off. Toward the passage behind the bound queen.
"Katt. What about the treasure room?"
"I'd love to find it, but we're too wiped."
We were seriously exhausted already. Better to dodge fights and find the way back to the surface. No more journeying. We'd burned too much physical and mental energy.
Body and mind both trashed right now.
I just wanted to get back ASAP and crash hard.
So we tried advancing down the dark passage, but leaving the queen's room—lit by glowing minerals in the ceiling—plunged us back into blackness. Nearly asked Winia for a light spell, but her mana was depleted too.
I pulled the lantern from the bag.
"Would've been fucked without this... Ah. Shit, one oil vial broke."
I filled the lantern and lit it with the striker. Orange light bloomed, illuminating around us. Tiny compared to Winia's light spell, but without it, we'd have been in deep shit.
"Blackie does have some preparedness, huh?"
"I've rolled around this otherworld for years. Basics."
"What? Otherworld?"
Slipped out.
Winia questioned.
"Nah, I meant this shitty adventurer world for a long damn time. Preparedness is basic of basics."
No lingering kobolds in the passage. Come to think of it, those hooded ones had taken the young and gone somewhere—hopefully not this way with more sketchy stuff.
"Elise. Back in the city, straight to the church?"
"Need to file a report first, so planning to stay a day in town."
"Good. Figured selling and splitting these would take time anyway. Can we take it easy on the split then?"
"Fine by me."
Delegate kobold mats to Winia, I handle Lisha personally for the split. Meet Elise back in town, do it next day at the guild.
"Hm? Katt? There."
"Yeah? Oh."
Claudy gestured ahead. Looked, and there were two paths: one up, one down.
"Something more below, it seems."
Her long ears twitched. Caught a sound? Maybe something even more evil than the cursed kobold queen slumbered down there.
"...Up. Can't push today. Honestly can't fight more."
"True, I'd love to probe deeper, but not today."
The labyrinth's secrets seemed to lurk below, whimpering lowly... Normally I'd peek, but no way today. Even fanatical Elise called gg.
Money schmoney, need rest first.
"Yeah. Good call not going down, blackie. Thought you lost it back there, but judgment intact. Good boy, our blackie."
Winia didn't want down either.
"That bad?"
"You were seriously psycho earlier."
"Happens sometimes."
"Sometimes? And blackie's human? Looked like a dog to me."
"Damn it! Claudy! Winia's bullying me!"
Fuming, I dove face-first into Claudy's chest. "Mooom!" She stroked my head like it was natural.
"There, there. Winia, no bullying Katt."
"Fuck. Total bullshit. Blackie, get off?"
"Claudy Mama's the best!!! "
More or less like that, we gave up underground search and headed up. Exit should come eventually. Labyrinth structure guaranteed it. —Trudge, trudge. After a while.
Expected earthen tunnels, but still stone labyrinth. Need to go higher? No higher path, new passages instead.
"Hmm... Gotta find the way from here."
"Fuck."
Forks appeared, and another down path.
Skipped down, searched forks one by one.
Dead ends, empty rooms.
...Did kobolds really live here?
Searched passages quite a while, but no up path. Midway, peeking another empty room, Elise spoke.
"Search taking longer than thought. Shall we rest a bit?"
"Yeah?"
Rest time decided. Settled in the room, sat, pulled out rations. Smart buying salted meats like Claudy said.
"Just dry rations, and we'd be fucked here."
"Katt. From now on, no mindless bulk dry buys. Always get meat too."
"Absolutely."
Munching sausage. Body craved energy, devoured it all in seconds. Chugged cold water from the canteen too.
Body went limp. After all that work and full belly, insane drowsiness hit.
Claudy leaned head on my shoulder, Winia straight-up pillowed on my thigh. Then Elise said.
"Better rest here. No kobold signs, good for watch shifts."
"Yeah, sounds good... Watch order..."
"You all sleep first."
"You sure? You're tired too."
"Just the order. Sleep. I'll wake you."
"...Thanks."
Elise leaned at the entrance. Perfect watch. I closed my eyes.
Slept like a rock.
One full watch cycle, and energy surged back. Order: Elise, me, Winia, Claudy. No attacks while sleeping—kobolds mostly wiped.
"Kraaack!"
Stretching, bones cracked all over. Winia whined about sore shoulders, begging a rub. But time to go.
"Back at inn, I'll rub all you want."
"Oh? Back home, shoulders or something else?"
"Shut it, sis."
Elise eyed the bickering Winia and Claudy oddly.
"Throuple marriage... You all get along so well."
"Weird?"
"Yes. Hard to grasp, but probably my church life."
"No, you're right."
Elise's common sense spot-on here.
Resumed surface search. Belly full, nap taken—condition much recovered. Pick jobs carefully next time... This one sucked.
"Hm? That?"
How much time passed, spotted a room leaking faint light ahead. Nodded to everyone, crept up quietly.
Then.
"No way!"
Peeked inside: pile of stuff. Treasure room!? Half-ecstatic, drew sword and charged in.
"W-Winia!"
"...Feels right. Probably it."
Positive!
Quick scan: trash piled everywhere...! But! This was the treasure room! Valuable stuff hidden in trash!
"Elise! Claudy! Loot!"
Boss fight reward time!!!
"Understood!"
"Hm... Anything good?"
Tension skyrocketed instantly.
This is the alpha and omega of adventuring!
"Fuck!"