Chapter 115
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Translator: MadScientist
Chapter: 115
Chapter Title: Soul's Promotion Battle
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-Thump thump thump thump!
The monsters charging toward us were low-level beasts called Desert Runners, reptile-like creatures that ran in packs like mad.
They looked just like some kind of dinosaur, but considering the feathers and beaks, you could probably call them birds without much issue. Still, they felt completely different from similar-looking monsters like cockatrices—that must be the difference between birds and reptiles, I figured.
-Keeeek!!
Anyway, these ostrich-like spawns of nightmares were barreling toward us at full speed. Their pace looked as fast as a sprint runner's. That's probably why they were named "Runners."
Through the clouds of dust, I counted about fifteen of them.
Each one stood around 100 to 140 cm tall—smaller than me, so no big deal. I'd hunted them a few times before, and I remembered their meat was tasty. They weren't hard for anyone with a sword.
"Hey, Serka. Monsters showed up. Quit screwing around and deal with those bastards first."
"..."
At least they had brains, since everyone got into fighting stances the moment the monster pack appeared. Serka assumed a martial arts pose, Roel aimed her staff, and Custos readied his mace.
"P-prepare, prepare..."
"...Annoying. Just roast 'em all."
I'd been thinking of smacking the kids in the back of the head to hype them up since we were screwed anyway, but facing a dozen-plus monsters solo seemed like a bit much, so I dropped it.
"Drum beat, head beat, drum beat, head beat. Gatekeeper! Snow Cloud! I am Kim God!"
-Crack!
"What the—?!"
It was all bullshit, really.
"Ho, you blocked that?"
Pretending to back off slyly, I launched a kick at Serka. She flinched and twisted her body to block my strike. As expected of a martial artist, her reflexes were decent.
"Then block this too!"
"S-stop! There are monsters right now...!"
-Paat!
"Y-you crazy bastard!"
"K-Kattnim...! K-Kattnim...! P-please stop, just stop...!"
-Chwap!
I cut off Roel and Custos's pleas with a kiai and unleashed my ultimate taekwondo barrage. Monsters charging from behind, Kim Katt unleashing combos from the front. Serka was caught in a total dilemma, not knowing what to do.
"Stop! Stop! Cut it out!"
Her face pale as a ghost, she blocked my kicks while screaming.
Did she think I wouldn't pick a fight with monsters around?
Did she think I wouldn't do this with monsters incoming?
She underestimated me.
She took the world—and me—for fools.
A huge mistake.
I am Kim Katt, the one who strikes where you're vulnerable.
"Eek!"
Serka kept blocking my kicks, then backstepped, reset her stance, and roared as she charged me. Her fists clenched tight, eyes blazing—she'd lost all reason from our little exchange.
"Idiot, look behind you."
-Kweeeek!!
But the Desert Runners weren't playing around.
"Guhk!"
While we were filming this worthless skit, they'd been diligently charging us. Finally, a Desert Runner slammed body-first into Serka's lower back. She bounced off and faceplanted into the dirt.
"Serka! Y-you maniac! Are you insane?!"
Roel yelped in shock and hurriedly chanted a spell.
-Fwoosh!
A small flame ignited at the tip of her staff.
Fire Bolt? But compared to Winia's, the cast time was pathetic. She should've prepped and fired it ages ago, but she'd been too busy watching my impromptu duel with Serka and missed her timing.
"Kyaaak!"
And mages who miss their timing get exposed. She collided with a charging Desert Runner and rolled across the ground screaming like a burst balloon, just like Serka.
"S-Serka... R-Roel..."
Custos's face was ghostly pale too.
He swung his mace with effort. But it lacked any ferocity. As feeble as his soft features, the strike didn't subdue the monster. -Puk! The Desert Runner hit by the mace got angrier and pummeled Custos instead. He toppled backward too.
"U-uaaaah!!"
"Kyaaaaak!!"
"Y-you bastards! You bastards!"
And then hell broke loose for real.
The doomed trio's screams filled the air. Serka couldn't find an opening to stand and writhed in pain from kicks to her side. Roel, who'd dropped her staff, was getting her face mauled like a dog biting a sweaty kid on a hot day.
"Kuhk!"
As for Custos, he was rolling like a human tumbleweed from the Runners' kicks.
"Kyaaaaaaaak!!!"
That's right.
Unlike me, tempered by real combat and dodging Desert Runners with ease, the three idiots were rolling on the ground, madly taking kicks from the monsters.
"Hahat, hahahahahahaha!!!"
Right in the middle of that inferno, I burst out laughing.
"Shall we go to Jongnooo! Or Myungdongooo!"
Promotion battles and all that crap didn't matter anymore.
I laughed. Laughed and sang, dancing as I dodged the charging Desert Runners. They were low-level trash anyway. No way they could pierce my armor, and one sword swing would turn them into fresh processed food.
Being surrounded by weaker foes didn't scare me one bit.
"You psycho! Quit it and fight these monster freaks! Kyaaak!"
"Ka... Kattnim...! P-please help us...!"
"K-Kuhk! G-gotta get up...!"
I just sneered at their begging.
"That's not how you ask for help!"
-Tszzt!
"—I won't forgive you!"
Serka, who at least had basics down, rolled to her feet. She immediately punched the Desert Runner pounding her. The knuckle-boosted strike slammed into its long neck.
-Puk-puk-puk!
The punches didn't stop at one. With precise, swift motions, three combos followed. The Desert Runner took three to the neck in an instant—probably a broken one—and flopped over dead.
"Not you!"
After finishing one, Serka tried charging me.
-Thump thump thump!
"Kuhk!"
But the field was already Desert Runner territory.
Enraged by their kin's death, they swarmed her. She shifted trajectory mid-charge, punching and kicking desperately, but fighting multiples barehanded with just knuckles had physical limits.
Alright. Guess it's my turn.
-Shring. I finally drew my sword and squared my stance.
Playtime's over. Time to clean up these monsters.
Can't have anyone dying from a dumb hit.
"—KKKKKKKKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEKK!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I inhaled deep and bellowed a battle cry at the Desert Runners.
-Kweok?!
They flinched and stared at me. 'What the hell is that guy?' For a moment. Then their gazes turned furious. Three prowling nearby charged me.
"Come at me, you pussy bitches."
-Kweeeek!
One opened its maw wide and rushed first. I sidestepped the body slam easily, slashed sideways, and severed its neck.
-Shwick.
The clean cut sliced through bone, dropping its head.
Next, two steps forward, diagonal downward slash. Long necks are a real tragedy—too much exposure. The second slash took another head, and I immediately dropped low, lunged like a cannonball, and thrust.
-Puk!
-Kwe... kwek...!
The third, pierced in the chest, collapsed pathetically.
You shit-for-nothing fucks. You couldn't beat me even if reborn.
"To swordsman Kim Katt, these shit-tier monsters are just gnats."
I scanned the field. Roel, getting dogpiled on the ground, stared wide-eyed. Serka, gripping a Runner's neck, gawked at me in shock.
Three butchered in seconds.
Something rookies like them could never dream of.
"Save you?"
I said to them.
"...Y-yes! Hurry!"
Roel screamed it, pride be damned. I shrugged and called Serka. Gotta handle paperwork before rescues, right?
"Hey, Serka."
"...What?"
-Puk!
She kneed the chest of the Desert Runner she had by the neck and answered.
"If you want me to save Roel, repeat after me. [My mother, Serka's mom, is a filthy whore selling her body cheap in back alleys. She runs discount specials and is super popular. Even stamps your card. I love my mom so much.] Come on, repeat it verbatim, and I'll save your friend."
I jeered, spilling the vulgar line. Shocked by the bluntness, she yelled back.
"What bullshit is that?! My mother is no whore!"
"Really? Then I'll just chill over there. Santa doesn't help lying little shits like you."
No choice then.
Can't do official business without procedure.
-Kweee...
The Desert Runners who'd seen my fury kept away from me. They seemed to decide to target everyone but me. Roel's screams erupted again. A beak stabbed into her guarding arm.
"Kyaaak! S-Serka! Please!"
"W-wait! I'll save you!"
"Ku... kaaa... K-Katt... nim... F-forgive us already...!"
Oh yeah, Custos was there.
His white robes were soaked in blood.
"Looks fucking painful, shit."
I turned without regret and hopped onto a nearby rock to sit.
They looked pathetic, but the Desert Runners were down to under ten. Serka could handle it somehow, though with heavy losses. Even if they scraped by, they'd be wrecked.
Ragged and injured, no way they could take full-HP me.
Then I could embark on a fun conquest trip with meek little lambs. Whining to go back wouldn't work. A solid fist-education on exhausted Serka, and they'd all cower and obey.
Of course, never touch Roel—she's a mage. Same for Custos. Obscure church or not, they wouldn't sit idle if their young priest got beat.
Naturally, Serka becomes my target.
My scheming even scared me.
-Puk!
Sitting on the rock, I quietly observed the brutal scene.
If I hadn't kicked Serka first, it'd have been a simple fight. Fire from afar, Serka handles close ones, Custos stalls misses, Roel cleans up.
That's how it'd go.
But look—the Runners are rampaging through our formation, ruined early by my reverse troll.
The real formation-breaker isn't enemy strength, but ally evil. If Serka and Roel hadn't bitched at me, the party wouldn't have exploded. Crimes demand fitting punishment.
Today, I'd be the righteous circuit judge.
"Kuhk!"
Serka threw kicks and punches desperately, but exhaustion was obvious. Power fading from each strike. She couldn't handle the numbers anymore; free Runners pummeled Roel and Custos. Screams rang out.
Frustrated, I yelled.
"Hey, you stupid bitch! Hit harder! You think that'll kill 'em?! Is that all a martial artist can do?! Your friends are getting fucking demolished!"
"Sh-shut up!"
"Kyaaaaak!!! Hurry! Save us quick!"
"W-wait! Roel! I'll definitely save you! Kuhk!"
"This is straight-up hell."
Finally, Roel wailed at Serka to do what I demanded.
The moment their mysterious friendship cracked. Idiots. Who duo-promos with friends? Doing promotion battles with buddies is wrong from the start. They pay the price.
And that's the result.
Friendship shattered, formation collapsed.
The trio's agony-filled screams continued.