Chapter 60
Chapter 60
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Translator: penny
Chapter: 60
Chapter Title: Return and Change (3)
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Bitterness was followed by sorrow.
He was still smiling, though.
I quietly took in the wistful smile on the HR Director's face.
The sorrow on a face that had always beamed so brightly felt unfamiliar.
You've heard the truth from the seniors, haven't you.
Joo, who had been smiling silently, softly broke the quiet.
“I heard. Thank you.”
Something welled up in me at his consoling tone.
I tried to speak in a steady voice.
“No, sir. There's more I need to tell you, HR Director.”
“So I heard. Speak freely.”
“Yes. Outside the Core, Jin—”
“Yeah.”
“He asked me to pass a message to you.”
Joo didn't seem surprised.
He simply looked at me quietly, waiting for my words.
Meeting his eyes brought back the sound of that train rumbling along the tracks in my ears. Clack-clack. The train that had raced rhythmically through the darkness. The man who had suddenly asked my name and introduced himself.
The words he had said with a smile.
“He said to tell you he's sorry.”
Joo didn't take his eyes off me.
“That he tried so hard but couldn't overcome it in the end.”
I didn't fully understand his words.
But they seemed to reach the HR Director. His eyes grew wet as he listened.
His eyes reddened faintly. The tears welled up but didn't fall. Instead, Joo smiled with tear-filled eyes.
Then he cast his gaze downward.
The HR Director looked at the floor with his characteristic smile and spoke.
“So that's what he said.”
“…Yes.”
“Back then, Jin was really on the edge. It wouldn't have been surprising if he'd deserted or taken his own life at any moment. I tried persuading him to retire instead. But I missed my chance. One day, he vanished outside the Core and never came back.”
“…I should have brought him back. I'm sorry.”
“No. Who could be suffering more than you right now?”
Joo lifted his head.
Light filtered through the translucent curtains. The white lamp illuminated the quiet hospital room. The HR Director sat demurely by the iron bed rail.
I silently watched his kind, signature smile.
“Thank you for passing on his words.”
Joo bowed his head.
For some unknowable reason, it hurt terribly.
I bit my lip and forced out the words.
“…Yes, sir.”
“We probably won't conduct any more official searches for Jin.”
Pardon?
His unexpected words made my eyes widen.
Why? How? I'd explained everything. Jin had been alive in that subway for ten years. He'd stayed behind to help me, and since no body was found, there was every chance he was still alive.
So why stop looking?
I'd heard he was missing, but I assumed they were still diligently searching for him. I thought Ami and the other seniors were out there right now looking for Jin.
My expression must have shown my thoughts. Joo gave a bitter smile.
“We can't keep up official searches indefinitely for Black Badgers who go missing outside the Core. The unit can search on its own once we're outside, of course. But official searches end here.”
“…But Jin was alive just a few days ago…”
“There are too many Black Badgers who go missing outside the Core.”
I froze, speechless, and the bitterness in Joo's smile deepened.
In a low voice, he tried to console my rigid form.
“I won't tell you to hold onto hope.”
“…Even so, isn't the search too short?”
“Officially, we've lost Jin for over ten years.”
I couldn't argue.
I couldn't get angry. I knew they'd spent far more time with Jin Silver than I had. When Jin deserted and vanished, Joo must have searched for him far more desperately than I ever could. He'd said Jin was in a state where desertion wouldn't surprise anyone, so they must have combed every inch outside, clinging to the hope that he was alive.
Grinding their teeth to bring back their fleeing comrade.
How long after that did the Black Badgers call off the search?
I didn't know, but I was sure Joo had done everything he could.
I chewed my lip and asked.
“Even if I protest, nothing will change, will it?”
“Yeah. It won't.”
“Even if I explain the situation in more detail, or pinpoint the exact location?”
“Yeah.”
Joo answered calmly, then his gaze grew distant.
With eyes filled with sorrow and pain, he informed me.
“Sorry. The search has already been concluded.”
I bit my lip hard.
Tasting the metallic tang of blood, I lowered my eyes.
I fought not to lash out at him amid the surging emotions. It wasn't an unreasonable decision. It was just hard for me to accept emotionally.
I fixed my gaze on the hand with the IV needle.
“Understood. Thank you for letting me know.”
The HR Director was silent for a long while.
With his eyes downcast, I couldn't see his expression. Silence settled over the hospital room. Only the ticking of the second hand tickled my ears.
Only after a long pause did Joo break the quiet in a low voice.
“It'd be nice if everything could be certain. Right, Hilde?”
I quietly watched Joo smile with wet eyes.
Joo continued, his smile so faint it seemed it might vanish any moment.
“It'd be nice if we could always hold our comrades' ashes in our hands, bury them ourselves, stroke their graves with love, and offer affectionate prayers. Right?”
So many missing.
Hope crumbling before their eyes. Yet the desperation they couldn't let go of. Countless comrades they couldn't even give proper funerals to because of that attachment.
I knew there were too many Black Badgers who had left Joo's side that way. And that this man, gifted with a natural talent for personnel matters, had etched each farewell into his heart.
So I couldn't find words for a long time.
Before someone who had overcome countless losses, no words.
***
I had so much to ask Ye-hyeon too.
I waited, thinking he'd contact me soon, but no call came even by the time I was discharged. I was hospitalized for five days before leaving. Yoon came to pick me up upon discharge. He'd waited exactly until my actual release, as he'd said.
It wasn't that I disliked it.
But we didn't head straight back to the dorms. It was early morning at 7 a.m. Yoon saw me emerge from the hospital room and said.
“We're stopping by the lab before we go.”
“Where to?”
“My place.”
Why.
I made a sulky face to show my displeasure, and Yoon raised one eyebrow.
“Got a problem?”
“Won't it be a bother for the Supreme Commander?”
“You're the one who finds the Supreme Commander burdensome.”
“That too. But why go to his place specifically… Ah, don't tell me the Commander is away on a trip?”
“Nope.”
Yoon answered curtly.
Then he fell silent for a moment.
What?
It was rare for this man to answer so cleanly, so I blinked. If he didn't want to answer, he'd dodge or snark back that I was being cheeky.
So what was it this time that had him looking so uneasy with his mouth shut?
As I wondered, Yoon slowly gave his answer.
“He's hospitalized.”
“Pardon?”
Hospitalized?
In the hospital? I gaped dumbly at Yoon.
“The Commander?”
“Yeah. Discharges tomorrow. I'll drop you at your place and come back here. Training starts tomorrow, so stay home today, don't make a mess, and rest quietly.”
“Is he sick?”
I asked, letting Yoon's nagging go in one ear and out the other.
Only then did an expression form on Yoon's face. The Master furrowed his neat features slightly.
“Stress-induced stomach spasms.”
Good lord.
Even Black Badgers with superior healing could get that.
I stared at my displeased Master with my mouth open. He really seemed to hate this situation.
He didn't look like he planned to explain further this time either.
What happened? Did something go down while I was outside? Or was I overthinking that I might be the cause?
Anyway, I didn't get an answer. After dropping that bombshell, the Master turned wordlessly and started walking. I clamped my mouth shut and followed behind him.
We passed familiar corridors and entered the lab.
Maybe because it was early morning, the lab was still empty.
Scientists slumped over desks piled with energy drinks and coffee, clearly up all night.
Aside from them, no one was around. Morning sunlight poured in, baking the countless desks. Memories of visiting the lab on a weekend surfaced.
It had felt just like this.
Crossing the quiet lab lost in thought, I slowed to match my Master's pace.
The Master stopped by John Mullen.
“What?”
Yoon looked at the blue-eyed scientist staring fixedly at him.
“What brings you here, matching eyes and all? What's up?”
“Program key.”
John, who didn't seem in his right mind today either, fixed Yoon with a clear gaze.
“I need your program key.”
“Ah.”
Yoon replied with a low, short grunt of understanding.
The Master shoved one hand into his pocket. Then, without another word, he started walking through the lab again. He jerked his chin once, as if telling John to follow.
I watched John Mullen stick to Yoon's heels like a ghost.
Classic John Mullen. He didn't even seem to notice I was there.
Still totally out of it.
Strangely, his unchanged demeanor felt reassuring. I was grateful he'd completely forgotten my existence.
We walked in silence, not exchanging a word. I didn't know where we were headed, but we trailed amiably side by side behind Yoon.
Until Yoon stopped dead facing the wall.
Yoon halted in an odd spot.
What?
“Why are we stopping?”
Even as I asked curiously, the Master didn't turn.
The frozen Master didn't move. He stood stock-still, eyes fixed on one spot.
His gaze didn't shift. His fingers didn't twitch. John and I stared puzzled at the back of Yoon's head, blinked, and followed his line of sight.
And saw the same thing.
The lab wall.
A spot where something had been attached. Crude traces remained. I racked my brain for a while to figure out what it had been.
What had been at the end of those roughly severed cable wires?
What had been stuck to the wall?
“Fuck.”
Only when Yoon spat the words in a fury-filled voice did I realize.
“Who the hell did this…”
Eeeeeeng!
[Emergency! Emergency! Emergency assembly! Emergency! Emergency! Emergency assembly!]
Eeeeeeng!
[Emergency! Emergency! Emergency assembly! Emergency! Emergency! Emergency assembly!]
A piercing alarm shook the lab, threatening to burst our eardrums.
The Master and I whipped our heads toward John Mullen. We stared in shock at the pale man's stricken face, then at the red switch in his hand.
We stood frozen in the same pose for a while. Staring dumbfounded at the genius scientist gaping at the wall like a man without a country.
John Mullen, on the verge of losing it.
John Mullen, who had pressed the unknown red button.
John Mullen, wrapped in shock and horror.
He muttered first, ignoring the Master who had snapped out of it and was mumbling, “What the hell did you…”
Desperately.
“My God, Martin.”
Martin was missing.