EP 1. The Dogeza of Absolute Submission
After Violet left.
Jieun, now alone once more, felt an even deeper loneliness than before.
Perhaps it was because she had wet her throat, but the hunger pressed against her stomach with greater ferocity than before.
Just a day or two ago, she had lived a life where everything was perfectly fulfilled. That made her current state of total deprivation feel all the more violently real against her skin.
Senior had given her so much without asking for anything in return.
It had truly been… a blessed life….
She had ruined it. She had destroyed it. She had thrown it all away with her own hands—by doubting senior.
Jieun shuddered, her teeth chattering.
Ever since Violet’s visit, Jieun had completely erased every trace of doubt about senior from her mind.
Just thinking about it now was too painful, so she had banished it entirely from her consciousness.
As a result, Cha Kang-hyuk’s suggestions and influence had sunk even deeper roots, nearly seizing complete control of her mind.
Why had she ever doubted senior?
It was all Hyeji’s fault. Hyeji had said those strange things. That woman…
There was no way senior could be connected to the Dark Byurut-byurut Dan. And even if he was, what did it matter? Senior could never do anything wrong. Senior was not a bad person. Senior was a flawless, perfect being. Therefore, no one had the right to judge him.
Ah… how could she have forgotten something so obvious?
Why was she so stupid? She had no right to even look at senior.
Guilt, fear, loneliness, and doubt became nourishment, allowing Kang-hyuk’s influence to grow stronger inside Jieun.
And the stronger it grew, the more she came to despise herself.
‘I have to apologize to senior… I have to tell him I’m sorry… I wish he would come find me soon…’
After several hours of anxious waiting—
“Jieun. Have you reflected enough?”
The sound of the door opening was followed by senior’s voice.
“Mmph! Mmph!”
Senior♥
Jieun’s face lit up and she squirmed in place.
“Looks like you didn’t even try to escape.”
Yes, senior.
Just like you said, I waited while reflecting deeply.
“You look like you have a lot to say. Let’s hear it.”
Senior approached and removed her gag.
Jieun swallowed the saliva thick with the taste of metal and licked her dry lips.
Then, as calmly as she could, she spoke.
“S-Senior… I was wrong.”
“Hmm? And what exactly were you wrong about?”
“Not trusting senior… doubting you… falling for the words of some delusional patient… ignoring the chance you gave me…”
“And?”
“Pardon?”
There was… more?
“Is that all? I’m a little disappointed. I thought I gave you plenty of time. Maybe your reflection is still lacking?”
“I’m sorry. I’ll think harder right now.”
Jieun turned pale and desperately searched her mind for what else she might have done wrong.
Senior’s words could never be mistaken. There had to be many more, far greater mistakes she had made.
“Take your time and think. I’ll give you a little longer.”
“What? N-No! I only need a few minutes. Really!”
“No. From what I can see, you need more time, Jieun. Your reflection still looks insufficient.”
With those words, senior replaced the gag in her mouth.
“Mmph! Mmph!”
Senior, please.
Please don’t leave me here.
But her silent plea was in vain. Senior’s footsteps grew distant.
Once the door closed and she was alone again, Jieun sobbed in frustration.
Yet that frustration was directed solely at herself.
Resentment toward her own failure to reflect perfectly despite the long time senior had given her.
Anger at herself for having committed such a grave mistake and then shamelessly waiting for senior to come fetch her.
Jieun clenched her fists so tightly that her nails dug into her palms and drew blood.
Then she slammed those fists into her own stomach, again and again.
“Mmph! Mmmph!”
Idiot! Fool! Moron! Die! Just die already!
She kept striking and cursing herself until her anger was spent, then collapsed from exhaustion.
Soon after, she began to wail.
Even after her tears dried from sheer fatigue, she continued to enumerate every single one of her mistakes.
Before her relationship with senior began—how coldly she had treated him.
Even during their dates—how distant she had been.
When she thought about it, there were countless things to atone for.
She had been so… so presumptuous. So arrogant.
And yet senior had still loved someone like her.
The more she remembered, the more she hated herself.
She even thought that if she were abandoned here forever and senior never returned, she would have no right to complain.
Her anger soon transformed into deep despair.
Jieun hung limply like a puppet with its strings cut, replaying her mistakes over and over in her mind.
She had no idea how much time had passed.
Someone came again.
Jieun weakly lifted her head.
Recognizing from the footsteps that it was not senior, her face fell.
“What’s with you? You look half-dead.”
Violet said.
She removed the gag.
Then she placed something nearby.
“Eat. I snuck it in without Oppa knowing.”
From the smell, it was clearly semen.
Saliva flooded her dry mouth.
She felt an overwhelming urge to bury her face in it, but Jieun shook her head.
“I can’t disobey senior… Take it back, Violet. I don’t deserve to eat it.”
Violet let out a soft laugh.
“You really do say all the right things. Still, eat it.”
“Is it… really okay?”
“You think Oppa wouldn’t know what I’m doing? He’s letting me do this on purpose. He worries about you more than anyone.”
“…I see.”
Tears welled in Jieun’s eyes.
Perhaps because both body and mind were exhausted, she had become far more prone to crying.
“I’m sorry, Violet… Sob… I’m so sorry…”
“Save those words for Oppa. Just eat already.”
“Okay…”
Jieun brought her face to the plate and licked up the semen inside.
It tasted incredibly blissful.
So blissful that tears threatened to fall again.
With every lick, happiness spread through her mouth.
Happiness… Yes. Even though it had been brief, those moments had been more precious than most of her entire life.
The time she had spent serving senior together with Violet.
That ecstatic flavor contained every joyful second of those days.
Jieun emptied the bowl in an instant.
Afterward, Violet offered her dessert.
With a wet, rhythmic sound, the liquid spurted from between Violet’s legs. Jieun opened her mouth wide and drank every drop without spilling any.
Once she finished, she licked Violet’s pussy clean, making sure nothing remained.
Then Violet silently embraced her.
Violet’s arms were so warm that the heat seemed to seep into Jieun’s very heart.
“…Come out soon. I’ll be waiting.”
“Okay.”
Violet replaced the gag and left.
Alone once more, Jieun’s body grew hot from the long-awaited intake of semen. She rubbed her thighs together restlessly.
‘Senior…♥ Senior…♥’
Why did it feel this way?
She was no longer lonely.
She realized it now.
She had never truly been alone.
Violet and senior had been watching over her all along.
She had simply been receiving punishment.
In that case, she had to carry out that punishment properly.
That was the best she could do.
Jieun steadied her heart and suppressed her arousal. Then she began her self-criticism in earnest.
The reason she had failed to reflect enough to satisfy senior was none other than herself.
Deep in her heart, there still remained the impurity of doubting senior.
The unnecessary “Lee Jieun” who harbored hostility and distrust toward senior still lingered inside her.
Get out. Leave my heart.
Jieun bared her fangs at the part of herself that refused to obey senior and rejected it violently.
Suddenly, she felt senior’s touch.
It was as if senior had entered her heart.
Through that sensation, Jieun knew she was acting “correctly.”
‘Ahh, senior… You really were watching after all♥’
Encouraged by senior, Jieun focused even harder on driving out the wrong version of herself.
***
Another long stretch of time seemed to have passed.
Because she had been concentrating so deeply on reflection, time felt like it was flowing faster than before.
A faint presence could be heard in the distance.
Footsteps descending into the basement.
The door opened.
Jieun knew immediately. It was senior.
Her heart leapt, but she maintained her composure as best she could.
Jieun sat properly with both hands resting on her knees.
And simply waited.
The sound of the iron-barred door opening reached her.
Senior approached and gently placed a hand on her cheek.
Jieun silently lifted her chin for him.
Swish.
The blindfold was removed.
The punishment room’s lighting was dim, almost like night, yet her eyes still stung.
After blinking for a long while, her vision adjusted. Jieun looked up at senior.
There he was—dazzlingly handsome senior.
“Have you reflected enough?”
Senior asked.
Jieun neither nodded nor shook her head. She simply gazed at him in silence.
Senior removed the gag from her mouth.
Even after the gag was gone, Jieun said nothing.
“Speak.”
Only after receiving permission did Jieun open her mouth.
“I’m sorry, senior.”
Those were the only words she had.
Whether she had reflected enough—she, as an endlessly foolish person, had no way of knowing.
That judgment belonged solely to senior.
She would simply obey whatever senior commanded.
To the best of her ability. Honestly.
“Is that so? What exactly did you do wrong?”
“…I rejected senior.”
That was the conclusion of her reflection.
All of this had happened because she lacked sufficient initiative toward senior.
Indecisive, hesitant, shamelessly relaxed, unnecessarily leisurely, lazy, negligent, foolish.
By allowing such a self to exist, this situation had occurred.
The corner of senior’s mouth curled upward.
Noticing that tiny change made her heart flutter.
But Jieun forced herself to suppress the feeling.
She was a sinner. A sinner who had committed a grave mistake. She had no right to feel joy.
“Do you want me to forgive you, Jieun?”
Senior asked.
Would answering “yes” be presumptuous?
Jieun hesitated.
But she soon realized it was not.
The moment she saw the sadistic desire sparkling in senior’s eyes, she understood.
This too was part of senior’s game.
“Yes.”
“Then beg.”
“…Please forgive the mistakes committed by this Lee Jieun. I beg you, senior.”
Jieun clasped her hands together, placed them on the floor, and bowed deeply.
“If I grant that request, what will you do for me, Jieun?”
Senior asked, as if testing her.
The answer came without needing thought.
“I will do anything.”
Senior remained silent.
Jieun realized this was not enough.
She had to offer more. Far more.
Herself. Everything she was.
She had to give back in proportion to the grace she had received.
“If senior commands it, I will do anything. If senior says it, I will obey anything. I will never doubt or deny senior again and will accept everything as truth. To senior…”
I offer this body and heart.
Jieun conveyed her sincerity.
Her “reflection.”
To prove that the wrong version of herself who rejected senior no longer existed anywhere in her heart.
To demonstrate that her heart was wide open toward senior.
And then—
“You can lift your head now, Jieun.”
Had her feelings reached him?
Senior spoke in a warm voice.
When she raised her head, senior pulled her into a tight embrace.
While gently stroking her hair, he said,
“I forgive you. You did well, Jieun.”
“Senior… Senior…”
Jieun burst into the tears she had been holding back.
She sobbed, crying pitifully.
“It’s okay. It’s okay. There, there. From now on, just do your best. I’ll guide you onto the right path.”
“Yes… Senior…”
Ahh, thank goodness.
Jieun buried her face in senior’s chest and thought.
That she had been able to meet senior. That she could be owned by senior.
———
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