Episode 61
Translator: RaidenTL
Episode 61
Tears splashed onto his crimson palm. They dissolved the thick, clotted blood, pooling in his hand before dripping to the ground, washing the blood away.
He had thought that whatever he did would be useless. That he was powerless before the absolute force that had massacred everyone, that he could only follow the path fate had laid out for him.
“He’s alive…”
He looked down at the young boy, whose breathing was faint but steady. He had saved him. With his own hands, he had staunched the bleeding, cleaned the infection, and saved a life. It was something meaningful, something that could perhaps bring about change…
Without a moment’s thought, he ran after Dietrich. The old man’s wrinkled face looked up at the youth, his expression full of bewilderment. The young man’s pale face, drenched in tears and blood, spoke.
“Please teach me how to save people.”
He realized what he had to do. He had always believed he could change the world with the knowledge he had spent his entire life acquiring—the methods for driving out and killing the enemy.
As if to mock him, a mysterious power had annihilated everyone around him.
So now, he had to learn how to save people. So that this life could have meaning, so that he could believe he could forge change with his own hands.
*
Elysia belatedly realized he was gripping her hand tightly. Having finished his story, Evan whispered, a faint smile on his trembling lips.
“…And so, I quit.”
Elysia stared at the man’s pathetic smile, trying to sort through her thoughts. Come to think of it, the game’s opening screen had said something like this.
[♥ Amidst the tension of a continuing war in the center of the continent, you have enrolled in Minerva, an academy that gathers and educates the most brilliant minds from all over. What kind of events will you encounter? ♥]
In other words, the war was an element that had to be maintained until the player intervened. When that was about to collapse, an artificial force had stepped in to prevent Löwe from gaining an overwhelming advantage.
Elysia let out a hollow laugh and muttered.
“These fucking bastards…”
A faint smile touched Evan’s lips at her unreserved profanity. Elysia spun around and moved closer to him. She stopped close enough for their breaths to mingle, her gaze fixed on his wavering green eyes.
Evan froze, captured by that sharp gaze that seemed to see right through him, and simply stared at her.
Her lips parted, and Elysia spoke.
“By the way, Senior, there’s something else you haven’t told me.”
“…”
He hadn’t explained why everyone avoided him. At Elysia’s prompting nod, he quickly turned his head away, a scene flashing in his memory.
“Your Excellency.”
Gilbert’s face was horribly contorted as he sat slumped in the corner of a room where no light could enter.
His aide’s eyes, half-glazed over, fumbled around in search of a pipe. Evan took the sleeping pills that filled his drawer and tossed them far away.
“I… I don’t know why I did it. Why would I leak our army’s intelligence, I—”
“You did no such thing. Get a grip. Remember clearly. The cause of our defeat wasn’t you, but…”
Spotting Evan dressed as if ready to depart, Gilbert ground his teeth and spat out each word.
“That… bullshit… Stop it already.”
“…”
“It was me. I was the one who betrayed the army and passed information to Alea. Are you going to take the dishonor just to cover for your pathetic subordinate? Your Excellency.”
The corners of his trembling lips broke into a crazed laugh. Gilbert, who spat a wad of filthy phlegm—a product of the sleeping pills and cigarettes he’d overused to soothe his ruined mind—onto the floor, asked as if genuinely curious.
“Have you gone mad, perhaps? Why are you saying things that aren’t true?”
Noticing Evan’s face turn deathly pale, as if he’d suddenly recalled something horrific, Elysia squeezed his hand tighter.
Snapping back to his senses, he opened his mouth, then closed it again. He looked at the woman gazing at him with clear eyes, like she was peering into a deep well.
A memory he never wanted to speak of, but one he could tell to her, and only her.
“While I was learning surgery and recovering from my wounds, my aide who had survived with me was court-martialed. The charge was leaking military intelligence to another country. He denied it at first, but evidence was presented and he was found guilty. But the funny thing is…”
She wanted to see his expression, but she couldn’t. In the faint moonlight, she caught a glimpse of his enraged face. Elysia stopped trying to see it and simply sat there, not letting go of his hand.
Evan took a breath and continued.
“Circumstances and evidence that never existed… suddenly appeared.”
“…What do you mean?”
“That battle where we faced the faceless soldiers was changed into a battle with the Alean army. What truly terrified me was… that Gilbert genuinely believed it. He confessed that he had betrayed the army. His memory was altered…
“Not only that, but everyone’s memories… Everyone except me remembered that battle as one against Alea. The memories of the other survivors were changed, too. They remembered fighting Alea, not faceless monsters.”
It felt like her throat was tightening. What the system had done to stabilize the game’s story was far too cruel.
Unable to bear it any longer, Elysia used one hand to turn Evan’s head, forcing him to look directly at her.
Pooling in those green eyes was the same lonely light she carried, the same temperature of rage. How could I just ignore this? How could I dismiss you as nothing?
“My aide was a loyal man. The shock of committing treason for reasons even he couldn’t understand must have been immense, because his body and mind were severely damaged from overdosing on drugs, including sleeping pills. To have a guilty verdict handed down to a man in that state… I didn’t want such an end for someone who had been under my command. Because it wasn’t… the truth.”
Elysia suddenly recalled something he had said before. His claim of being ‘sensitive to drugs’ had this context hidden behind it. Her throat felt tight. Noticing her pained expression, he gave a bitter smile.
“So, I had all official responsibility shifted to me. Then, I was dishonorably discharged.”
Evan closed his eyes for a moment, remembering the moment he faced his father’s betrayed expression.
His father, who had never once lost his composure, had drawn his sword upon hearing that the Sylvester family name had been so disgraced.
“You fool. To do such a thing out of pity.”
“…”
“You wouldn’t do that. You couldn’t possibly be that stupid!!!”
What could he say? That he had only cleared his subordinate’s name because he was truly innocent? That the enemy he fought that day wasn’t the Alean army, or even human, so it was impossible for him to have leaked information to Alea?
He scoffed internally. He would have been treated like a madman. In fact, there were times he himself wondered if he was insane. When the entire world denied what he had seen, wasn't it possible that his own memory was just hazy?
But he was too upright a person to let it go so easily.
And so, he had no choice but to remain silent, even to his own parents.
“…I can’t even stand the sight of you. Get out.”
Though practically everyone knew that Evan Sylvester had taken the fall for his aide, it was an undeniable fact that the family’s flawless reputation had been tarnished.
It was a decision made from the belief that he couldn’t let an innocent man be convicted, but he constantly doubted his own sanity.
What if I’m the one who’s crazy? What if the enemy I fought that day really was Alea’s soldiers, and I distorted my own memories from the shock of defeat?
If that were true, then how many sins had he committed? The guilt was suffocating, and the loneliness felt like it would freeze his lungs.
“…Just then, an offer of admission came from Minerva, and while I was trying to forget by focusing on my studies…”
The man’s bitter expression vanished in an instant as he looked down at Elysia’s hand, which he was still holding.
Elysia tensed, startled by Evan’s movement as he slowly lowered his head, as if to kiss her fingertips. But what touched her was not a wet tongue or hot lips, but soft hair.
With a gentle gesture, he lightly brushed his forehead against the back of her hand, then lifted his head and smiled.
“And then, I met you, El.”
He wasn’t a hero to his home country of Löwe, but a soldier who had inflicted damage on Alea and Lyne multiple times. Most people were afraid and kept their distance, but there were some who approached him, intrigued by his unusual history.
But every time, he took a step back. He didn’t have the confidence to face them with a smile.
The reason he had joined the prefects was because it was a place with no other members. He had been completely alone until Adrian, who had chosen to major in pharmacy because he admired Evan for turning his back on his family to study medicine, had arrived.
He believed that because he wasn't normal, he had to distance himself from others. Just as he was going blind from such dark solitude, she appeared.
Evan gently let go of her hand and stood up, then bent at the waist to meet Elysia’s gray eyes, which held a multitude of emotions. With a playful smile, he asked.
“Why do you look like you’re about to cry?”
“They’re sons of bitches, really…”
Noticing the tears welling in Elysia’s eyes, Evan quickly helped her to her feet. Thinking back, the night air was quite chilly.
He guided the stumbling Elysia into her room, only to freeze when he saw her standing there with her arms wide open. He wanted to press a kiss to those eyes, brimming with tears that looked ready to fall at any moment.
Evan stared blankly at the woman who was looking straight at him, at his whole self, ignoring whatever might have just appeared before her.
If you keep doing this… I’ll want to say it. That I want to hold your hand, to pull that hand to my lips and kiss it, to push you until you’re breathless and teary-eyed, and to delve between the lips you part to breathe.
I’ll want to confess that I want you.
“Come here.”
The man, whose face had grown pale just from telling his story, lifted his head. He was desperately trying to look fine, but Elysia could see at a glance that he was a wreck. She let out a deep sigh.
“I said, come here.”
Staggering, he slowly crossed the threshold into her room and stood before her. Even hunched over, his large frame was undeniable; she had to tilt her head up to see the face of the man standing there, drained of all strength.
The woman with her arms open said in a bright voice.
“How about a hug? As one human being to another.”
“Human to human…”
“I have a pretty shitty personality, so I’m not good at comforting people. But still, I can give you a hug.”
Evan quietly gazed at Elysia’s sharp face as she looked up at him, unflinching.
As he took another step forward with a sigh-like laugh, he felt her breath brush against his collarbone. He couldn’t help the pounding of his heart anymore.
How could I possibly separate only love from you, who has taken my everything? The woman who had spread her arms, vowing to hug him while unable to hide her frustrated expression, seemed to be holding his very heart in her hands.
A bad personality? You have no idea how gentle you are. You don’t know how warm your gray eyes are. It’s a problem that I find myself wishing I was the only one who knew that fact.
He slowly reached out his arms and wrapped them around her rounded shoulders. As if she had been waiting, Elysia pulled him into her embrace. Slowly, he lowered his head and let himself collapse.
Elysia reached her hands under the arms of the man who was holding her back carefully, as if cradling something precious. Because of their size difference, she had to stretch her arms all the way out to hug him properly. She patted his solid back.
“As shitty as it is, the past can’t be changed, so let’s think about what to do now. Things are different now.”
She didn’t know what incident had occurred, but the system was as weak as it could be. Perhaps her own transfer into this game was a kind of event that happened as the system collapsed.
We can do it. We can find freedom from this horribly controlled world. As she thought this, she stroked the man’s shoulder blades, which rose and fell with his steady breathing. A reply came.
“I know. The past can’t be changed. I know that, but…”
“But it’s sad. Is that it? I know… I know what that’s like.”
She felt a hot breath, and then a hotter tear, fall onto her neck. Elysia gently stroked the man’s hand resting on her waist and said.
“That promise you couldn’t keep.”
Evan flinched and looked down at her with wet eyes.
“I don’t think it was a meaningful promise anyway. What does it matter?”
“…”
“Sorry for getting scared and running off. I’m more of a coward than I look. Um…”
The speed of my emotions is slower than this man’s. But I don’t want to let him go. So, I’m willing to try to match his pace. Not yet, but if you can wait.
She lifted her head to meet Evan’s eyes and smiled brightly.
“Let’s not set any rules and just take it slow, shall we?”
His wide green eyes stared at her blankly. Evan’s lips parted as he stammered, then he muttered.
“Does that mean…”
“Sorry, but I’m not there yet, so you’ll have to wait a bit, Senior.”
Evan narrowed his eyes. She probably didn’t intend it, but her tone was quite coy. He felt the man’s hand on her waist tighten its grip. He let out a soft laugh and murmured in a low voice.
“You know, you just gave me an opening.”
He brushed away the brown hair that half-covered one of her eyes and smiled.
“I’ll take that as permission to court you.”
Looks like the message got through without any miscommunication. Elysia shrugged one shoulder and smiled back at him.
*
In the center of a space surrounded on all four sides by bookshelves, a man looked down at the palm-sized notebook in his hand. A blue light squirming between the shelves shimmered and fell upon his white hair.
A white finger slowly flipped open the cover of the blue notebook, revealing the first page, written in messy, terrible handwriting.
-Elysia H.
Cain closed his eyes and buried his face in the notebook’s pages. He ran the sharp bridge of his nose over the notebook, recalling the sight of Elysia’s back as she ran toward Evan. He let out a displeased chuckle, then shook his head.
She’s a woman who came here playing the hero, isn’t she? She must want to play the hero here, too.
But there is one thing that even I, who am so generous to you, cannot understand. Why don’t you know?
“That the real one isn’t him, but me.”
He looked down at the writing in the notebook and whispered.
“Why don’t you know that, Elysia?”