Episode 123
Translator: RaidenTL
Episode 123
Ignoring the part of his mind that screamed at him not to read, his hand easily flipped open the blue cover. The man leaned his back against the wall and looked down into the notebook.
「There was a terrorist attack yesterday. A lot of people were hurt, and a lot died… and after all that trouble, we finally caught the son of a bitch. A victim’s parent grabbed my arm and cried, asking me why these things have to happen, and I just couldn’t stand that indescribable feeling, so I blurted it out.
I know, right? It’s a fucking crazy game. Aren’t the developers psychos?
The reaction was… well, the same as always. The sobbing face instantly went blank, and in a stiff tone, they spat out the programmed response: ‘I do not understand.’ I couldn’t take it. I beat the culprit to a pulp again in the transport vehicle. I lost some experience points, but fuck it.
I think I’m going crazy.
Ah, right. I’m the only one here with a self. They’ve reconstructed the world to look plausible, but everyone just repeats the same canned lines.
I’m really alone.
It’s finally hitting me.」
He must have been drunk on something; the handwriting was even shakier than usual. As if to confirm something, Cain lifted the notebook and lightly pressed his nose to it. The smell of alcohol, cigarettes, and devastating loneliness—things I knew well.
At that moment, the door to the archive where the science books were kept opened with a clatter. A voice approached him slowly. The lips that had been murmuring the string of characters written on the note in her hand fell silent the moment she saw him.
Cain glanced back and forth between Elysia’s face and the book in his hand. It was a special kind of talent, the way her expression alone conveyed, What the hell is this crazy bastard staring at?
He quietly observed the woman with the cool impression. First, the white nape of her neck where her carotid artery would be pulsing, then the spine buried within her straight back.
What would that expression look like if I pressed my lips there instead of a knife? A vulgar curiosity welled up. Absurdly, the killing intent subsided.
Too much of a waste to kill.
The way her brow furrowed in vigilance wasn’t bad. Worth keeping alive. He had been bored, and this woman would be quite the spectacle. His eyes curving into a smile, he spoke.
“Hello.”
Upon hearing the gentle greeting, Elysia, far from being moved, turned her back with an expression that said she’d seen her share of lunatics.
He could see her ankles taking quick, short steps beneath the long, blue Minerva school uniform skirt. I want to break them so she can’t leave this room.
Whether she knew his thoughts or not, the woman placed her hand on the doorknob as if to flee, then froze. A crisp curse followed.
“Oh for fuck’s sake… Don’t do this to me…”
♥ SYSTEM: ‘Wish to Become Close’ Event has occurred! ((っ´ω`)♥(´ω`⊂ )) Thump-thump! Spend time with him in the locked room to raise your favorability! The escape route will open when favorability increases! ♥
Cain glanced at what she was staring at and tried to hold back a laugh. Since the player hadn't shown up, the event window hadn't appeared either, and he'd forgotten it existed. So there was something like this…
He flicked his fingers lightly. He had seized control of the system long ago. For him, who could freely alter even the terrain, changing a few favorability points was hardly a difficult task.
He could just have a normal conversation, raise her favorability by about 10, manipulate the system, and get out of this situation. He could have smoothed it over without raising any suspicion.
But.
“This is lock—”
Placing his hand over hers, veins standing out on her skin as she tried to tear the door open, was an impulse. Drawing close behind the woman who had naively shown him her back and inhaling her fragrant scent was a coincidence.
♥ SYSTEM: The ‘Wish to Become Close’ Event has been cleared! You have gained +999 favorability with Cain Ror. Keep up the good work capturing his heart! ♥
And choosing 999, the maximum increase for favorability, to leave a deep impression was a provocation of sorts.
Feeling her slender fingers—compared to his—tighten in shocked tension, he smiled and walked out of the archive.
You’re a detective, a cop. So go on, try and chase me. Hunt me down until you're gasping for breath, corner me, and then try to choke the life out of me.
Entertain me.
*
He only cared about Elysia’s survival.
He wouldn’t have cared much even if Alma had broken both her legs. That woman was the type to grit her teeth and find a way to stand, her eyes gleaming, rather than sob over a couple of broken legs.
The thought of her limping out to catch him seemed amusing, and he found himself regretting it. Maybe he should have ordered one of her limbs to be cut off. As long as she didn’t die, it would have been fine.
He was at the top, and Elysia was nothing more than a doll running around for his amusement. The power dynamic was clear. It bothered him why a woman who, like him, was lonely and surrounded by fakes would associate with puppets instead of him, but he let it go.
He was fond of her, like a pet cat, so he planned to grant her a reasonable amount of freedom, no matter who she played with.
After Elysia arrived, he began creating and distributing a new drug. The idea for it came from a simple curiosity: what would happen if he made people swallow the ashes of the books he had burned?
The results were astonishing. Before their minds shattered and they either went insane or chose suicide, the users “saw” the system.
It was a greater success than he’d imagined. This was what he had wanted.
If he exposed this world built on lies, he could create even greater chaos than before. He smiled, pleased with the thought.
That will give you more to do, won't it, Elysia? Will you thank me for it?
She was less a sedative that calmed him and more a stimulant that roused him.
He wanted her to know, wanted her to chase him. That was why he had deliberately dragged in Caden Hertz, who had caught her eye. He used him to develop a drug that would temporarily open one’s consciousness to the system, then let him die, pickled in it.
Elysia was chasing him with satisfying diligence. He had brought her to his base of operations himself because he found her efforts admirable.
The direction of power was still obvious. No matter how much she ran, she was still in the palm of his hand. Elysia was playing within the boundaries he had set, and he was indulging her, watching over her with amusement.
But he was an inherently unstable man, and she was a sword that had been beaten and battered until she was forged solid.
“You decide.”
“Decide what…?”
“I’m telling you to decide whether you’re coming out of the house or not.”
Therefore, he was no match for her.
He was assaulted by Elysia’s firm kindness as she dealt with people who were like mirrors of his past.
“It’s not my decision to make!!!”
“Then who decides?”
Her words dug into his vulnerabilities, and his breath grew short.
Cain, who had been eavesdropping on the conversation between Elysia and Zenia from beyond the window, clutched at his chest as if he’d been cut and gritted his teeth. A sharp, grinding sound escaped as the veins in his neck bulged.
Such cheap charity.
Such pathetic pity.
Nothing but hypocrisy.
I won’t be fooled. I won’t hope for anything ever again. I won’t crave understanding. He muttered the words as if trying to brainwash himself.
“…In the end, you’re just one of them, aren’t you?”
The same kind as the hypocrites, an outsider who could never be like him. She was someone who would exploit his emotions to their very dregs, and once she’d had her fill, she would disappear.
So he had to despise her. He had to watch her tenacious steps from above and sneer, just as he always had. He couldn’t let his heart be stolen, so he could discard her without a second thought the moment he grew bored. Every time Elysia shook him, he muttered.
I can’t let myself be stolen away again…
But his eyes kept following her, and the people to whom she offered her casual kindness.
Without knowing what he was even thinking, Cain watched the boy who was offering up the same prayer he once had as a child.
“The Lord tells us to forgive all, but I can’t forgive him. I want my father to die. Please forgive me for this sin…”
With a completely empty face, he cried. He didn’t even know why he was crying, but it was irresistible. He couldn’t bear it. Just as he was about to be buried in the wave of emotion that crashed over him like a great tide, a voice of salvation fell upon him.
“Listen to me very carefully.”
The voice was calm.
“God doesn’t really care about you. You are the only one who can save yourself. Forgiveness? If you don’t want to, don’t do it. You’re the one who was hurt, so why do you have to walk on eggshells about forgiving someone? Do whatever you want.”
It was cold.
“Your life is yours to decide. Don’t wait for salvation. Nothing will change until you make a move.”
It wasn’t hypocrisy, wasn’t a pretense…
Thump. Something heavy dropped onto his heart. He couldn’t endure her any longer. He felt like he would suffocate on Elysia’s cool, refreshing scent that faintly filled the prayer room.
He felt like he would die from the spreading heat of his emotions, so he ran out to feel the cold wind, to survive.
He stood in the rain to cool the fireball that felt like it would incinerate his heart and steal his reason, but strangely, it only grew hotter.
And so, he knew there was no turning back. Cain stared blankly at the sway of her brown hair and smiled.
It seems I was lonely in the past, I am lonely now, and I will be lonely in the future. So, Elysia, sink with me into this bitter solitude.
It was the beginning of love.
The man who had fallen in love lifted his head and met the eyes of the woman standing before him. Her narrowed, silver eyes were trembling. They swept over Cain’s face, tracing the faint flicker of anticipation that twitched there.
Finally, Elysia let out a hollow laugh and muttered.
“Crazy bastard…”