Exam Studying
It was a rare Tuesday free of any schedule whatsoever. I woke up and prepared breakfast for Harin.
“Did you get in past midnight yesterday?”
The moment she sat down at the table, Harin asked about the day before. But if I brought up Eom Chaewon here, it would only invite needless worry, so I decided to deflect.
“There was a funeral. I stopped by after work and got home late. Were you waiting up for me?”
“No. I just went to sleep.”
“...”
That was a lie. You clearly knew I came in past midnight, so why claim you were asleep?
Yet Harin finished her breakfast lightly, as if she had no awareness at all of her slip of the tongue. As she slung her bag over her shoulder and headed out, I watched her retreating back and sorted through my thoughts for a moment.
Over the past few days, the father-daughter relationship between Harin and me had made considerable progress. Even so, I still couldn’t quite get a handle on what was going on in her heart.
Sometimes her consideration for her dad overflowed so much that tears of gratitude welled up. And then there were days like today, when she waited up for me coming home late from work only to pretend she hadn’t.
Well, for a teenager, that was perfectly normal. Caring on the inside while playing it cool on the outside.
I’d been through the exact same thing myself, hadn’t I?
With time on my hands, I set about the housework. I ran the vacuum, then wiped down every corner with a rag. I stuffed the piled-up laundry into the washer, then hung the drying rack by the sunlit window.
It was peaceful. So peaceful that Hyeonji didn’t even call to suggest lunch. I hoped this calm would last a little longer…
Wiiing!
But for someone whose only friend was Eom Chaewon, my phone was ridiculously busy. I opened the message window and, sure enough, it was Eunju.
“...”
What was I supposed to do with this? Saying I was busy would end it, but if I did that, she might start suspecting I’d skipped school again.
Left with no choice, I dug out my school uniform for the first time in ages and put it on. Just how was I supposed to escape this exhausting loop?
Ding-dong… dang-dong…
Because Eunju’s message had come late, I managed to arrive right on time for lunch. Thanks to that, it looked like I wouldn’t even get a glimpse of Teacher Eunju today before heading home.
Rumble…
The sight of students thronging toward the cafeteria was no different from usual. The atmosphere, though, felt a little heavier somehow.
“It’s been forever since we saw each other at school like this, hasn’t it?”
Eunju approached from behind just then. Her uniform, which I hadn’t seen in just as long, looked faintly awkward on her.
The way she came up lightly with her hands clasped behind her back was especially cute today. I almost thought I caught a fresh grapefruit scent I’d never actually smelled before.
“Yeah. What’s so important you wanted to meet before even eating?”
“Do you always have to ask about business first? After lunch I have to stick with the others, so I called you out early.”
Eunju pouted her lips, looking a little hurt. Whenever she did that, I felt guilty even though it wasn’t really my problem to worry about.
“S-sorry. So nothing special happened yesterday?”
“Just the same as usual. Classes ended, I went to the academy, then back home to study a bit.”
“You study at home too? It’s pretty late—wouldn’t it be better to just go to bed early?”
“Normally, yeah. But we have exams next week, you know?”
“...”
So that was why the students’ mood had felt oddly heavy. Well, May was almost here, so exam season was rolling around.
“Wait! That means Harin’s studying for exams too, right?”
“I… guess so? Shouldn’t you know better than I do, Oppa?”
Of course I should. So had Harin been studying for exams last night instead of waiting for me?
“Actually, I contacted you because of exam prep. You’re going back to school anyway, so you need to get ready for midterms, right? Let’s study together.”
“...”
Impossible. If it were eating or going for a bike ride, I could do it anytime, but studying for exams was out of the question.
Because I didn’t have any books. And beyond that, if I kept hanging around with these kids after school, Harin was bound to spot me somewhere.
“Uh… Eunju? I did put my withdrawal on hold, but that doesn’t mean I’m planning to study for the exams. I’m just going to learn some skills or something and…”
“No! You still have one promise left with me, Oppa. You broke the one on Sunday, so you have to keep this one—let’s study for the exams together.”
“...”
I’d completely forgotten about that. I never expected this kind, underhanded girl to latch onto that weak point.
“F-fine. I can help you guys study for a day, at least. But where were you thinking of doing it?”
“I was thinking of Syndrome for now, but if you don’t like open places, Oppa, I was planning on the library.”
“No way!”
My voice rose without meaning to, startling Eunju. But the library? Absolutely not. If we went there, I was guaranteed to run into Harin…
“...?”
Wait a second. Come to think of it, there was still one unsolved mystery. That Harin kid left her bag at the library every day—where was she going and what was she doing?
At first I’d thought it was because of a boyfriend, or at least a crush. But according to Hyeonji it was nothing more than one-sided feelings, and going to the amusement park with me had proven that.
So then what on earth was she doing with that time? Harin wasn’t stalking her crush every single day, was she?
“So you think the library’s no good either, Oppa?”
“No. Let’s go to the library. The people I look down on most are the café-study crowd. What kind of studying are you even going to do there?”
“Ah… but didn’t you just say you weren’t planning to study, Oppa? My friends and I work better at a café.”
“Is that so? Then find me just one person who passed the civil service exam studying at a café. Just because you’re not used to reading rooms doesn’t mean they don’t work. The long history of humanity has converged on the reading room as the place where you can focus best!”
“...”
Yeah, I knew I looked completely insane. But a forgotten problem had just surfaced, and I couldn’t just let it slide without solving it.
“Haa… fine. We’ll try it once today. But if the kids really can’t focus, we’re switching to a café after that.”
“Uh… isn’t that none of my business anyway? I’m only studying with you for today, right?”
“No? It’s until the exams. That was the condition of the promise from the start.”
“Hey, what do you mean… I never made any promise like that…”
Whoosh! But Eunju just flashed a light smile and dashed off toward the cafeteria.
So you were planning to chain me down for a whole week? Unlike you, though, I had to go to work and had plenty of other things to do.
Nothing for it. I’d invent some excuse later and peel myself free; for today, I’d focus on Harin.
“I’m heading to the library.”
Afternoon arrived. After school, Harin declared she was going to the library as usual. Pretending not to care, I secretly checked her outfit.
Baggy jeans over a white tee, with a hoodie pulled on top—textbook library look no matter how you sliced it.
Thinking about it now, it was definitely not an outfit for meeting a guy. Even if it was the crush she desperately longed for, she would’ve put some effort into it.
Which made it even weirder. If Harin wasn’t meeting a guy, then where was she going and what was she doing with that time?
“Have a good one.”
I sent Harin off. Time for me to move as well.
I arrived in front of the library. Of course I knew this was extremely risky.
If by any chance Harin was just studying for exams like a normal person, there was a real possibility we’d run into each other.
But even so, I had to confirm the truth. Whether her outings with friends had simply run long that day, or whether there was some new reason I knew nothing about.
“Oh come on, Oppa! Why the library all of a sudden?”
Wonhui’s voice reached me. When I turned my head, Eunju’s friends were glaring at me with eyes full of complaints.
“Studying is something you do at the library. Try it for a day, and if it really doesn’t work, we can go to a café.”
“If I can’t focus, I can’t study at all! Exams are only a week away—if I bomb, are you going to take responsibility, Oppa?”
“Uh… Wonhui? If an exam can be ruined for a reason that small, I don’t think going to a café today would’ve made much difference either.”
“What did you just say? Are you finished talking, Oppa?!”
Wonhui huffed and looked ready to deliver a knuckle sandwich. Yuna barely managed to hold her back and led the way into the building first. Eunju gave me a bitter smile as she spoke.
“You changed clothes, Senior? But did you really need the mask and the thick-rimmed glasses too? Even a hat…”
“This is how I study best. I’ve already claimed a seat, so you guys hurry up and register.”
“You already… claimed one? Op… I mean, Senior, where’s your seat?”
Eunju snuck a glance at Mokhwa and corrected the form of address. But was I crazy? Tell her that?
“Anyway, I’ve got one. Studying is something you do at your own seat—what’s wrong with sitting a little apart?”
“But still…”
Eunju pouted her lips again, looking secretly disappointed. Ugh… if it were up to me I’d sit right next to her and look after her, but I had no choice either.
With that, Eunju entered the building too. I should have followed right after, but a suspicious gaze that had been fixed on me for a while kept me from moving.
“Mokhwa, why aren’t you going in?”
“...”
It was Mokhwa. Not only had she not taken her eyes off me this whole time, she was still staring without blinking once, her blood vessels turning red.
But why? It was true Mokhwa didn’t talk much, but she’d always managed to communicate somehow with a poke poke!
Clomp clomp…
After making me feel thoroughly awkward, she walked into the building. What was this? Had I done something wrong to Mokhwa?
My heart pounded as if it would burst the entire way into the reading room. I’d disguised myself thoroughly, but Harin was someone who shared my blood.
There was a chance she’d sense my presence on pure instinct. So I’d chosen a seat as far as possible from where Harin had sat last time, but I still couldn’t relax.
Shashak… shashak…
With the 2.0 vision that had once caught swordfish in the Mediterranean, I swept the surroundings in an instant. Fortunately, the cute, well-behaved little kitten was nowhere to be seen.
In that case, maybe I could get a little bolder? I carefully moved my body and headed toward the seat Harin had used last time.
There it was! It was there!
Just like before, Harin’s black bag hung from the chair. And the book spread open on the desk clearly had the three characters Kang Harin written on it.
“...”
But Harin herself was gone. Even more absurd was that the book was still open to page one of exponential and logarithmic functions.
My daughter didn’t study. Exam periods were something our family shame coolly ignored!
But setting that aside—where on earth was she and what was she doing right now? It hadn’t even been long since Harin left the house.
In other words, she’d just opened the book and left. Applying the previous case, that meant she was out doing something until 9:50?
This wouldn’t do. I had to go find Harin myself. But there was one thing I had to handle first.
‘Haa… Eunchae? If you’re here, you should grab a seat and study—why are you standing next to me?’
Because Eunchae was there. At some point she’d come up beside me and was watching what I was doing.
‘Wowaaang! I went to Syndrome but nobody was there, you know. I came here just in case, you know.’
‘R-right. I should’ve at least passed the word if the kids weren’t around—sorry…’
‘But what are you doing here? Why were you looking at Harin’s desk?’
‘Huh? Didn’t I tell you, Eunchae? I’m a distant relative of Harin’s. I was just checking whether she was studying properly, but where the heck did she go?’
‘Wooong… Eunchae doesn’t know either, you know. But it looks like Thuy went with her, you know.’
‘...?’
Wondering what that meant, I immediately turned my head and checked the seat next to Harin’s. And then—boom!—there really was a book open with Thuy written on it.
The same math as Harin’s. The only difference was that the table of contents was arithmetic sequences instead of exponential and logarithmic functions.
B. U. T. Did that make any sense? It was only the first-semester midterms—what kind of arithmetic sequences were they doing already?
Of course, looking at how clean it was without a single doodle, they’d just opened it thoughtlessly and left. Birds of a feather, both of them slacking off as a pair.
I took Eunchae and slipped out of the reading room. It was crystal clear that Harin and Thuy wouldn’t be back before 9:50.
So where on earth was I supposed to look for these kids?
“Eunchae, you go back in and study for now. I’ll look for Harin and Thuy a bit and then come in.”
“Wowaaang! Eunchae wants to go too, you know.”
“What… are you talking about, Eunchae? You do know we have exams next week, right?”
“Wooong… but even if Eunchae studies, she doesn’t understand anything, you know.”
“What kind of… You sat through the classes at school, didn’t you? I’m not telling you to come in first place—you at least have to organize what you learned and walk into the exam room.”
“Eeing… but when I raise my hand because there’s something I don’t know, they don’t take my questions, you know. So I always miss it and it just goes by, you know.”
“...”
This poor kid… Looking at it now, it wasn’t just the students who failed to notice Eunchae’s existence. Well, if even Ma Haejin could walk right past without recognizing her, that said everything.
Left with no choice, I brought Eunchae to the break room. After checking the exam subjects, I opened the math book first.
“Wowaaang!? Oppa’s tutoring Eunchae, you know?”
“Uh… honestly, it’s been so long since I studied that I’m not sure I’m at a level to teach you. But we should at least try, right?”
I knew I was supposed to go look for Harin. But leaving a kid who’d given up on the exams because no one would even take her questions—how could I call myself an ‘adult’ if I just walked away?
I carefully dredged up my memories starting from exponential and logarithmic functions. In truth I didn’t remember a single thing, but once I skimmed the concepts while looking at the book, I found myself growing familiar with them without realizing it.
“Wowaaang! Eunchae didn’t know any of this, you know?”
“Now that you know, practice. For today, let’s solve all the practice problems that came up here.”
The fortunate part was that Eunchae had only fallen into difficulty because she couldn’t ask questions—she wasn’t a kid who’d completely given up on studying.
She seemed to understand what I was saying surprisingly well, so when I explained kindly she followed along just fine. Hmm… but wasn’t this the wrong time for me to be leisurely tutoring?
“What the—Oppa, what are you doing here… I get it! You were secretly eating snacks by yourself, weren’t you?!”
Right on cue, Eunju’s group burst into the break room. Hold on—‘by yourself’? Isn’t that a little harsh?
“Haa… Wonhui? Eunchae said she had questions, so I was just looking over some math with her for a bit.”
“Eunchae?!”
And then—boing!—we went through the grand initiation ceremony for Eunchae that I still never got used to no matter how many times I saw it.
“Shouldn’t we eat something soon? My blood sugar’s dropping and I can’t focus, or something? Hehe…”
Yuna sidled up with a sly grin, suggesting we grab a meal. I hadn’t even found a single clue about Harin, and now I had to go eat too?
But I didn’t get the feeling I’d run into Harin there. Besides, I’d been meaning to have a meal with these kids sometime anyway, so I might as well knock it out while I was at it.
“Then let’s decide what to eat and head out. We can’t waste time arguing over that.”
Judging by Eunchae’s condition, even if we ate quickly and came back to grind until ten it still wouldn’t be enough. So I took opinions one by one to settle on a menu.
Eunju lightly suggested bread and milk; Yuna and Wonhui wanted snack-bar food; Eunchae said anything was fine. Last of all, I asked Mokhwa.
“Mokhwa, what do you want to eat?”
“...”
Mokhwa didn’t answer. She didn’t do the poke poke! either—she just glared at me with the same eyes full of distrust as before.
“Mokhwa? Senior’s asking you.”
Eunju must have felt the atmosphere was off too, because she asked her directly. Then Mokhwa, face stiff, jabbed Eunju in the side. Poke poke!
“W-what’s that supposed to mean, Mokhwa?”
“Why? What did Mokhwa say?”
Come on, let me in on it too. Eunju herself hemmed and hawed, not knowing how to answer. Finally Wonhui, fed up, answered in her place.
“Mokhwa says she doesn’t want to eat with Oppa… I get it! You fought with Mokhwa, didn’t you, Oppa?”
“...”
No matter how immature I was, would I really fight with Mokhwa? And setting that aside—why are you suddenly treating me like an enemy?
A chill ran down my spine. There was clearly something I’d missed, but no matter how hard I dug through my memories, I couldn’t figure out what it was.