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The old saying that honesty is the best policy couldn't be more right. After we openly shared what was really on our minds, Harin and I were having a better time together than ever before.
"It's true! His name really was Mr. Shrimp!"
"No way... You're just saying that to make me laugh, right? And then you went out catching shrimp?"
"He had an unbelievable nose for the smell of shrimp. When we headed out into the North Sea at the height of shrimp season, the waves would get absolutely brutal. But once night fell, everything would settle down until it was as calm as the Pacific. Then, in the middle of the night, someone would start yelling. We'd all rush up on deck, and there it'd be—the heavenly curtains people call the aurora."
I'd never told anyone about those stories from the ship. Whenever I saw Mom, all we ever talked about was family stuff, and Aunt never once showed any interest in that kind of thing.
But Harin listened to every word with more excitement than anyone else ever had. So maybe it was time to throw in a little variation?
"Want to go see them someday?"
"Huh? See what?"
"The aurora. Once you graduate, we could go as a graduation trip. We'll stop by that pub in Edinburgh we used to hit all the time, and you can have your first drink. What do you think?"
"Just... the two of us?"
Harin's eyes went wide at the sudden suggestion, looking flustered. Ugh... Did I get ahead of myself again?
Even coming to an amusement park alone with her dad had taken her endless deliberation. Who could possibly accept a sudden trip to Northern Europe on top of that?
"O-of course it wouldn't just be the two of us. We'll bring your cousins—your aunts, I mean. They'll be on break too, right?"
"..."
Slurp, slurp... Harin just kept her lips on the straw without a word. I couldn't read a single thing from that complicated expression of hers, but it was easy enough to tell her heart wasn't in it.
"I was just talking, that's all. I'll probably be too busy with work to take time off anyway. Just forget I said anything."
"I just..."
"Really! You don't have to feel any pressure. Let's just focus on having fun today. Is there anything else you want to ride?"
"..."
Harin lifted her head and looked me straight in the eyes. It felt like she had a whole lot to say—or maybe nothing at all.
Swoosh...
But separate from all that, I still wanted to wipe away the cream stuck to the corner of her lips. I quickly reached out with my finger to clean it off, and she flinched! and pulled back again.
"Wh-what are you doing?"
"Uh... You had cream on you."
"You could've just said so."
"It was just bothering me so much that my body moved on its own, I guess... Sorry if it made you uncomfortable."
Ugh... I know we're not a normal father and daughter, but why does she always react like this the moment things start feeling like they're going well?
It was pure instinct, nothing more. Watching her sit there fretting with cream on her face was adorable enough, but a dad is the kind of person who wants to take care of even that kind of cuteness—wants to give it up just so he can look after her.
"It didn't make me uncomfortable..."
"Huh? What was that?"
Apparently Harin still had something left to say. She shook her head lightly, as if I were completely misunderstanding her.
"I said it didn't make me uncomfortable. I hate it when you think that..."
"..."
That sense of distance that still lingered even when we felt closer. And then, suddenly, a thought hit me.
Maybe that distance was nothing but an illusion I'd created myself?
After that, ordinary time just kept flowing. I carefully avoided any questions that might put pressure on her, and Harin answered whatever I asked lightly, the two of us adjusting the space between us that way.
To be precise, it was more like I'd finally accepted that the distance existed on my end. Maybe I'd been away from any real family for so long that I'd twisted the meaning of it all out of shape.
Even with family, you can't lay everything bare. My brother had things he kept from me, and I'd never openly shown how I felt about Yu Jiyeon either.
But just because I was her dad, and just because Harin was my daughter—wanting to know every single thing about her for that reason alone had been the real problem.
When the whole time, Harin had been quietly understanding me all on her own.
Before I knew it, the clock had passed three in the afternoon. After crossing over to the island, Harin stood for a while at the railing, completely absorbed in the view of Seokchon Lake surrounding us.
"What are you doing, Harin?"
"The flowers... They're blooming so much."
She spoke while gazing out at the sea of crimson blossoms that dyed everything in every direction. She looked just like a kitten seeing snow for the first time, carefully reaching out a paw to check whether the landscape painted on the canvas was real.
"This week's probably the last of it, right?"
Harin turned her head and asked. But it didn't feel like she'd brought it up just to state a simple fact.
"Didn't you already come see them with your friends last week? You said you took a ton of pictures and everything."
"Yeah. That's true, but..."
The way she left the sentence hanging gave me a strange sense of déjà vu I couldn't quite place. Because lately, a few people had been testing the waters with me in exactly that same way.
Hyunji, and Eunju. Both of them had subtly shown they wanted to go flower-viewing. But wasn't Harin's case a little different?
Those two simply hadn't had anyone to go with. I'd happened to be standing right there, so the atmosphere had just naturally fallen into place.
But not Harin. She'd already had a great time with her friends last week. Of course, the person she truly wanted to be with was someone else entirely.
But her crush had turned down the invitation. The fact that she'd ended up here alone with her dad—settling for second best—was proof of that.
"Should we head out?"
But for some reason, the words slipped out of my mouth again before I could stop them—overstepping once more.
Even knowing full well who and where Harin really wanted, I still believed I could fill that spot for her.
"Already? You said you wanted to come here. We haven't even been here half the time yet."
"Maybe it's my age, but I can't play like I used to. And just coming here was enough to make my wish come true. Honestly, I haven't gone flower-viewing even once this year. Looking from this far away isn't bad, but somehow I started wanting to go right into the middle of them."
I knew it was nonsense. I could guarantee I was the man who'd gone flower-viewing more than anyone else within a twenty-kilometer radius.
But Harin hadn't been there for any of it. I'd walked flower paths with every high school girl imaginable, even with Teacher Eunju—yet I hadn't spent so much as a single minute doing it with family.
"Then let's do that."
"Huh, really? That was just my opinion. If you still want to play more..."
"I've played enough. And..."
The cherry blossoms were blooming so extravagantly that even Harin's cheeks had turned red. From the moment the morning sun rose until now, she'd always trailed off and hidden what she really felt—but this time, she spoke clearly and firmly.
"I want to go in there too."
In the end, we left Goldeworld without even lasting a full six hours. Of course, I didn't feel the slightest bit like the ticket price had been a waste.
Step... step...
Harin and I walked side by side along the Seokchon Lake path, thick with falling cherry blossom petals. Even without saying much, my ears felt full, and even without concentrating, my eyes were happy.
"Why aren't you saying anything?"
This time it seemed Harin wanted to break the silence first. The way our positions had completely flipped made me rub the bridge of my nose without thinking.
"It just felt like a situation that didn't need words. Want to take some pictures? You look incredibly pretty today. You definitely didn't look like this last week."
"Why do you keep saying things like that? I'm not pretty at all."
"What do you mean you're not pretty? You're so pretty I'm worried someone might snatch you away."
"That won't happen."
"...?"
Words that should have made me feel good just hearing them. But I couldn't help feeling a little puzzled. Why would you say that?
I understood wanting to hide the existence of a crush. But what she'd just said was nothing more than the kind of jealous grumbling a dad usually throws at his daughter, wasn't it?
She didn't need to answer. A sheepish laugh and moving on would have been enough—yet Harin cut it off cleanly, denying her crush's existence right to the end by saying it would never happen.
Anyway, we needed to take pictures, so we decided to find a spot with a good view. Right on cue, there was a photo spot where people were lined up in droves snapping away.
The two of us joined the line as well. Before long it was our turn, and I held up my phone and gestured for Harin to take her place.
"Stand under the tree. I'll take it for you."
"..."
Looking around... looking around... But Harin just scanned the surroundings as if she hadn't heard me at all. Then she let out a sigh of resignation and stepped under the tree.
"Harin? Wouldn't it be better if you smiled a little?"
"I am smiling."
"Uh... Sure, that indifferent look is pretty too, but your potential doesn't end there, does it?"
"Haa..."
Harin forced the corners of her mouth upward. But it was so artificial I had no choice but to use the word "forced." You're not that kind of kid at all, are you?
I'd only caught glimpses in passing, but I'd seen it several times today already. Like when she said today was so much fun, or when I told her she looked cute with the headband on.
Compared to those moments when her cheek muscles had pulled up naturally, right now she just looked full of complaints. But you'd said you wanted to come in here too, hadn't you?
Click! Click!
I took a few shots like that, but none of them were the one I wanted. Other people were waiting behind us, so I was about to step aside right away when—
"Um... Excuse me, could you take a picture of us?"
"...?"
It was a young couple who looked about the same age as Teacher Eunju or Eom Chaewon. Even with a selfie stick, they couldn't seem to get a proper angle, so they held their phone out to me.
"Sure. Harin, wait there a second."
I wasn't particularly busy, so taking one photo was no trouble. Harin seemed interested too—she came over to my side and started chiming in with all sorts of comments.
"Go back a little more. You only need them from the knees up, so no need to get too close."
I'd spent my whole life on ships and never taken a proper photo in my life. Following Harin's coaching, I framed the shot and pressed the shutter.