Drunken Ramblings
It started with Eunju’s suggestion that she wanted to know what it felt like to get drunk—a makeshift little drinking session right there under the trees.
As an adult, it was something I should never have allowed. Still, the thought that it was better coming from my hands than Lee Jubin’s made me pass her the drink myself.
Fortunately—or unfortunately—Eunju got tipsy almost at once.
She didn’t pass out completely the way Hyeonji had that other day, but her self-control had clearly crumbled. Without even realizing it, she rested her head against my shoulder and started touching me like it was the most natural thing in the world.
“Eunju…? Are you doing that because you’re sleepy?”
“A little? But Oppa, your arms are so firm.”
She kept stroking my arm, completely unaware of what she was doing. On the surface she looked perfectly normal, but I could tell—her pupils were just a little unfocused.
“I-I’ve been working hard at my part-time job. Kind of like real-world compressed muscle… Anyway, Eunju? Shouldn’t we start heading home soon?”
“Why? The weather’s nice and warm. Looks like autumn’s already here.”
“Au…tumn? Eunju, what are you talking about?”
“Don’t you see the fallen leaves over there?”
Whoosh! Without another word she pointed. Scattered under the tree were cherry blossom petals.
“….”
Was she just that weak to alcohol? She didn’t even seem that drunk, yet she was already hallucinating?
“But Oppa, why are you so wary of Teacher Lee Jubin?”
Only then did she lift her head. Her eyes were still unfocused, but her speech was normal and she didn’t look particularly disheveled.
“I’m not being wary—I’m worried about you. Do you seriously not know how that guy sees you?”
“I know. He likes me, right?”
“Y-you know? You always act like that’s not the case. You talk like some avatar of fairness and justice, but you knew the whole time?”
“It’d be harder not to know, wouldn’t it?”
“….”
Well, the experiment had clearly been a success. Eunju’s self-restraint had hit rock bottom, and she started spilling every truth she’d been hiding.
“This is ridiculous. What the hell is your relationship with that bastard? Come to think of it, earlier you lied and said you were meeting some senior girl instead of me. Hey—if you actually see that guy as a man…”
“I just said that because I didn’t want to make things complicated. Even the first time I met you, Oppa, you kept grilling me about the same thing and it was super annoying.”
“Annoying? So you’re saying you have zero feelings for Lee Jubin? Then you should’ve shut him down every time he crossed the line!”
“Why? He’s nice to me. We pay the same money for the same consulting, but he pays extra attention just to me—why would I turn that down?”
“….”
The experiment succeeding was great, but did I really need to see this side of Eunju? So she was basically holding herself hostage to use Lee Jubin?
“Eunju? First of all, I’m glad you’re not falling for that bastard’s schemes. But… using someone’s feelings like that doesn’t exactly seem moral either.”
“So I have to switch academies just because of one teacher? According to you, Oppa, he’s the one in the wrong, isn’t he?”
“W-well, when you put it that way… Still, I don’t know—it just feels off. Like this isn’t the you I thought I knew.”
“You said you don’t know anything about me, Oppa. So why are you defining me however you want? And then you get upset the second I don’t fit the mold?”
“….”
I’d never seen anyone get drunk this coldly. Her self-control was definitely lowered, yet it hadn’t touched her sharp way with words at all.
“Yeah… hearing it like that, you’re right. I’m sorry for saying those things when I barely know you.”
“Do you know how unusual you are, Oppa? You act all adult on your own, but the second someone finds a crack you just admit it right away. The adults I know aren’t like that.”
“That’s because I’m not actually an adult. I’m not some master of the world’s truths—how could I insist I’m right till the end?”
“That’s why it’s easy talking to you. There aren’t many people who admit when they’re wrong.”
“….”
No, it was just that my intelligence had fish-ified so thoroughly that words came out without any filter.
If I thought about it carefully, everything she pointed out was the kind of thing mirror therapy could fix, which was why I looked like I was calmly admitting my faults.
“So what is it, then?”
“What else?”
“You still haven’t answered me, Oppa. The real reason you’re so wary of Teacher Lee Jubin.”
“How many times do I have to say it’s not wariness—I’m worried about you? I’m just an adult… no, a senior, worried a junior might get corrupted by some weirdo… Huh? Wait, why are you calling me Oppa?”
In that instant I truly felt how drunk she was. Her logical speech hadn’t changed, but at some point she’d started calling me “Oppa” instead of “Sunbae.”
“Ah… that? Is it not okay to call you Oppa? Wonhui and Mokhwa call you that.”
“I don’t know about Wonhui, but Mokhwa’s never called me that… I’ve never told you not to call me Oppa. You’re the one who started with Sunbae.”
“When people know each other as well as we do, doesn’t the older one usually tell the younger to just call them Oppa first?”
She had a point. But I was the father of her classmate. Just being friendly with a kid like her already felt like committing a crime—how was I supposed to tell her with my own mouth to call me Oppa?
“Well… the truth is I’m not really the type people call Oppa, am I?”
“Then what am I supposed to call you?”
“Mister, or something…”
“That’s even weirder. Why are you treating me differently from the other girls?”
“I’ve never treated you differently. Haa… Fine. Call me whatever you want.”
We only had to eat together “two more times” and then we’d never see each other again—what did it matter what she called me? Wait a second, why was I talking like those two meals were already booked solid?
“The flowers are pretty.”
Eunju turned her head toward the cherry tree in full bloom. She closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and now she was drunk on the scent of spring instead of alcohol.
“You do know it’s spring, right?”
“Of course I do. It’s been so long since I came out to see the flowers. Probably the first time since Mom was still alive and we all came as a family.”
“Really? What about with a boyfriend? Did you just date around spring every year?”
“I’ve never had a boyfriend.”
“What do you mean… You said earlier you’d broken up with your ex a while ago.”
“I just said that because watching you get flustered is fun, Oppa. But why haven’t you dated anyone all this time? There must have been girls who liked you.”
“There weren’t. Except for Minjeong, I’ve never even looked at anyone.”
After that I’d spent over a decade living only with men who reeked of night-blooming flowers—where would girls have come from? Eunju opened her eyes and looked me up and down.
“That sounds like a lie.”
“The truth is I went to an all-boys school before transferring. The nearest girls’ school was ten kilometers away, and I was the kind of kid who only knew home and school.”
“I think Unnie Yuna likes you, Oppa. She pretends she doesn’t, but she keeps asking why you haven’t been around lately.”
“Uh… that’s really flattering, but could you tell her to focus on being student council president? She’s a senior—college applications are right around the corner. She doesn’t have time to casually date.”
My life was always like this. The Eunju-teacher I desperately wanted only saw me as a parent or a student who listened to her worries.
Sehee-ssi had been cut by my specs, and Eom Chaewon only ever treated me like a toy.
Then, after Yu Minjeong, I finally met someone who actually liked me… and she was a nineteen-year-old kid. What the hell…
“Why? Unnie Yuna’s a bit scatterbrained, but she’s super pretty. Tons of second-years like her too.”
“Anyway, it’s not me. That aside, Eunju? We should really start heading—”
Sliiiide…
But Eunju clearly had no intention of going home. Now she openly rested her head on my lap and even closed her eyes.
“E-Eunju? You’re not actually falling asleep, are you?”
“….”
No answer. Had she really fallen asleep? It was possible, but why in this position of all things?
I couldn’t exactly wake her, so I hurriedly took off my jacket and draped it over her skirt. Eunju blinked half-asleep eyes and murmured,
“Promise me.”
“P-promise what?”
“That you won’t ignore my messages ever again.”
“….”
True words spoken in drink. The strongest demand she could only make with alcohol’s help.
In that case there was only one answer. I gently stroked her shoulder.
“Okay. I won’t do it again.”
“…?”
About an hour later, Eunju’s eyes snapped open like a sleeping princess who’d just been kissed. She sat up in a hurry and asked with wide eyes,
“Did I fall asleep?”
“Well… I’d love to say no, but the mark on your forehead won’t let me.”
“…?”
Looking embarrassed, Eunju jammed her beret down to hide the crease on her forehead. The way her face flushed with shame told me she’d more or less come back to her senses.
“Was I drunk?”
“Probably? But you were the most well-behaved drunk I’ve ever seen. A little excited, sure, but I’ve never heard such coherent drunken rambling.”
“Drunken rambling… It was bad enough to call it that?”
“Don’t tell me you don’t remember? Blacking out after half a can of beer is a bit much.”
“I remember roughly. It just… felt like I wasn’t myself.”
“That’s exactly what I meant. Anyway, one thing’s clear now. You should never drink.”
It was lucky I was the one there. If she’d fallen for Lee Jubin’s coaxing and gone for chicken and beer, just imagining what might have happened made me shudder.
Of course, it was her first time drinking, so she was out of practice. But if half a can of beer was enough to lose her self-control, she was better off not drinking at all.
“I think you’re right. Honestly it didn’t even taste good, and I still feel a little gross. Like my mouth is all sticky…”
“Like you ate cheap army stew loaded with MSG?”
“Ah… I’ve never had it, but I think I get the idea.”
“Then shall we head in? Even if your head’s clear, it might’ve taken a toll on your body. Go home, rest well, and think about today’s lesson.”
“Oppa, you really only think about going home, don’t you?”
“Of course not. I’m saying all this because I’m worried about you.”
“I’m kidding. I actually need to get home early too. Grandma and Grandpa are coming over, so the family’s having dinner together.”
“Now you’re the one lying, right?”
“I’d love to make you feel guilty, Oppa, but unfortunately it’s true. Oh, and for the record, it’s not my mom’s side.”
Her stepdad’s parents, then. Just hearing it made the whole gathering sound uncomfortable.
Maybe that was why she’d wanted a drink.
We took the bus and arrived in front of Singun Palace. After that Eunju barely said a word.
The way she walked perfectly straight told me the alcohol had completely worn off, but she still seemed pretty embarrassed about having been drunk in front of someone.
“You don’t have to be embarrassed, Eunju. We only did the experiment because you wanted to know what being drunk felt like, right?”
“I was the only one who got drunk. Honestly I thought you’d get drunk with me, Oppa.”
“That’d be impossible. To get me drunk you’d have to bring my old coworkers.”
“What kind of part-time job did you even have? I’ve never heard of a boss who teaches people how to drink.”
“That… I’ll tell you later.”
Because I still hadn’t come up with a backstory that far. But saying that turned out to be a mistake.
“We have to eat together again anyway, so tell me then.”
“Uh… about that promise, Eunju…”
“Thank you for today.”
But Eunju was a master at cutting people off. She switched topics instantly, as if the two meals were already settled fact.
“Thank me for what? For lending you my lap while you slept?”
“That too… but it was a pretty unreasonable request, wasn’t it? Even so, you stayed by my side and taught me how to drink. Thanks to you, I don’t think I’ll ever drink again.”
“If you were going to drink someday anyway, I figured it’d be better if you learned from me. Normally a dad should teach that, but…”
“My father would never do something like that. He’s even more overprotective than you, Oppa.”
“That’s just proof of how much he loves you. I understand that feeling.”
I was the same. If it had been Harin asking me to teach her how to drink instead of Eunju, I would have agonized over it for real.
Of course, she might already be the type who clinked glasses with her boyfriend at the drop of a hat, but nothing had come to light yet, so I’d keep believing in her.
“I know. I want to be warmer with him, but I just can’t seem to find the courage. Maybe I should’ve gone straight to Dad the second I got drunk earlier.”
“Start with something simple. Call him Appa instead of Father, for example.”
“Hmm… I’ll think about that one.”
Maybe it was too easy a request for a kid who already had two dads. The thought that I’d made a mistake made me feel awkward, but Eunju smiled first.
“Okay, I’ll go in from here, Oppa.”
“Yeah. But you keep calling me Oppa.”
“You said it was okay earlier, didn’t you?”
“You were a little drunk then. Exactly how much do you remember?”
“Everything I need to? I’ll be sure to pass on that you’re not interested in Unnie Yuna.”
“Definitely pass that on. And I’m sorry for judging you however I wanted earlier.”
“I’ve heard plenty of times that my outside and inside are different, so it’s fine. Still, you’re the first person who’s seen all the way into my real thoughts and apologized first, Oppa.”
“That’s the real you. You’re just polite—that’s all. Taking that as everything is what’s hasty. Everyone wears a mask to some degree, and we’re all just generous with ourselves.”
Just like me. Treating a high-school girl while cosplaying as a high-school boy, then calling her two-faced just because she showed a little of her true self—that was pure shamelessness.
“You’re really unusual, Oppa. That’s probably why I keep talking so much.”
“Same goes for you. You know so many of my secrets that sometimes it feels dangerous.”
Somehow we’d ended up as people who spilled all sorts of things to each other. Of course a lot of what I told her was twisted truth out of necessity, but in the end I still found my own answers through talking with her.
“Today was fun. It’s a little sad I didn’t get a single photo, though…”
Eunju smiled bitterly and turned away. Come to think of it, the flowers had been that pretty and we hadn’t recorded a single thing?
But that was ridiculous. I’d already decided to quit the high-school-boy cosplay—leaving photos behind would be like pressing the button on a time bomb that could go off any second.
“We can just take some next time.”
Why on earth did I say that? Every careless word I’d let slip had piled up until we reached this point, so why did I leave her with a promise of “next time” just to make her feel better?
Eunju only smiled without answering and walked into the building. I stood there for a moment, replaying the day until the elevator doors closed behind her.
For the first time in my life I’d gone flower-viewing alone with a girl. And that girl was my daughter’s classmate.
Not only that—I’d gotten her drunk under the pretext of teaching her how to drink. No matter how much Eunju had wanted it, hadn’t I crossed the line a little too far?
Shake, shake…
No. I’d made sure she properly understood her own limit—that was just me doing my job as an adult.
And let’s get the wording right. It wasn’t “a girl”—it was “my daughter’s friend” I’d gone flower-viewing with.
I deliberately erased today’s shameful parts and turned around. Then—snap!—my eyes met Hyeonji’s.
Huh? Who did I just say?
“….”
But Hyeonji really was standing right in front of me. As if she’d time-warped from last Sunday, she wore a shiny jumper and baggy cargo pants and was glaring at me like she wanted to kill me.
“Uh… hey, Hyeonji.”
“What the hell are you doing?”
“Me? I was just passing by for a second…”
“Bullshit. That was Park Eunju just now, wasn’t it? Were you two together?”
“Eunju just now? Where?”
I played dumb and pretended to look around. But Hyeonji didn’t believe a word of it; she strode right up to me.
Then—swish—she suddenly reached toward my shoulder. My body went rigid, and a moment later Hyeonji held up a single flower petal pinched between her fingers.
Huh? When did that get stuck there?
“You two went flower-viewing?”
“Uh… it wasn’t like that. We were just taking a walk and happened to find a cherry tree…”
“Are you kidding me? There’s no way she’d go out for a plain walk dressed like that.”
“Well, Eunju’s casual fashion sense is just that good…”
“Come here tomorrow.”
“Huh? What are you talking about?”
I couldn’t keep up with Hyeonji’s conversation speed at all. I got that she’d unluckily caught me with Eunju, but what did it mean that she was suddenly telling me to come back here tomorrow?
“Go with me too.”
“Go with you… where? Don’t tell me you mean flower-viewing?”
“Come here tomorrow. If you don’t, I’ll tell Kang Harin everything you two have been up to.”
“N-no! What are you even saying right now?”
But Hyeonji knew my weak points far too well. The second this fact reached Harin’s ears, my identity would somehow get exposed.
“So come here tomorrow.”
“Hey, this is way too sudden. At least tell me why you’re—”
Whip! But Hyeonji left no reason behind. She shoved me with all her strength and stomped into the building, face full of rage.
“….”
I have to go flower-viewing again tomorrow?