I Work
Another mess.
Just the terrible misunderstanding from Eunju was enough to make my heart drop into my stomach, and before I could even explain myself, Hyeonji butted in.
"You—what the hell did you just say? Why would you say something like that?"
And what was she even thinking, showing up out of nowhere and blurting out the one thing guaranteed to make everything worse? While I was losing my mind, Hyeonji answered with total indifference, like she hadn't done a single thing wrong.
"I'm not wrong, am I? The second you heard Kang Harin had some guy she was into, you ran straight to Park Eunju."
"How do you even know the underclassmen's names when all you do is skip class every day? And besides, I already told you it's not like that."
"Oh yeah? Then what were you doing with Park Eunju just now?"
"Just now? Just talking."
"And before that?"
"I went to her academy for a parent conference."
"And before that?"
"I had some stuff to take care of with Eunju and her friends... Wait, why do I even have to report every single move I make to you?"
"You spent the whole day with Park Eunju and you're saying nothing happened? You think I'm that easy to fool?"
"..."
She wasn't even trying to hide her hostility toward me today. Sure, I'd been obsessing over Eunju all day, so maybe my pathetic excuses were getting on her nerves.
How. Ev. Er.
The hostility I was seeing right now wasn't just simple disgust at someone else's cheapness. It felt more fundamental than that—like I'd crossed some line inside her that should never be touched.
Stay calm. Time to flip the frame.
For just five minutes, I was going to pretend I wasn't Harin's dad. I was just some transfer student walking around pretending to be part of A Team.
I didn't want to admit it, but Kim Hyeonji was one of Harin's acquaintances. That didn't mean Harin was actually "close" with a lowlife like this, of course.
Harin was just too nice—she'd probably treated this girl like a proper senior a few times out of sheer kindness. Kim Hyeonji was young, but she was basically a throwback 2000s-style punk.
A walking embodiment of "loyalty," in other words. So if some guy who'd been sniffing around the girl she looked out for suddenly turned up late at night flirting in front of some other girl's house?
Of course she'd have to throw her weight around as Harin's "neighborhood tough big sister," right?
"Haa... Fine. You're right. I'm giving up on Harin now."
"Finally spitting it out. But why Park Eunju of all people?"
"Uh... I really don't want to say this out loud, but a girl like Eunju would be popular anywhere she went, wouldn't she? There's probably a whole truckload of secret admirers just at school."
"I'm talking about you. You two are completely different worlds."
"What the hell... How exactly do you see me? What, I'm not allowed to like Eunju?"
"Yeah. You're not."
"..."
So that was it. Just like I couldn't bring myself to accept her as Harin's acquaintance, Hyeonji didn't think I had the right to have feelings for Eunju.
Because the version of me she'd seen was always like that. Just like her, I smoked and drank without a second thought, and on top of that I'd been posing as A Team.
Not even a fellow student—some guy who'd set up a blind date with an actual working adult, way outside the normal range. And now I was trying to make a move on Eunju, the living embodiment of a model student? That was beyond shameless in her eyes.
"You're right. Honestly, Eunju seems to hate my guts so much I was starting to give up anyway."
"Giving up pretty fast, huh? Or are you just that spineless?"
"Yeah, fine. I'm an easy guy, just like you said."
I didn't care what she called me. Words already spoken couldn't be taken back, so getting angry at her wouldn't change a thing.
I'd just wait for another chance to approach Eunju and bring up the campaign promise. Of course, there was no guarantee she'd even let me near her next time.
"Park Eunju's seeing someone else, isn't she? That's why she rejected you."
Apparently Hyeonji had no intention of dropping it. She cranked that empty-looking head of hers into gear and came up with her own reason why Eunju had to have shot me down.
"I don't really..."
"She doesn't hang out with anyone special at school. So it has to be the academy."
"Well... maybe."
True to her reputation as part of the infamous A Team, she seemed to have Eunju's school life completely mapped out. And since she'd hit the bullseye, it was hard to deny it.
As an adult I couldn't just stand by and watch, but Eunju and Lee Jubin were never a one-sided thing. They met regularly three times a week, and from what Eunju had said, there were private meetups too.
Even after Lee Jubin crossed the bare minimum line a grown man and instructor was supposed to keep—multiple times—Eunju not only accepted it naturally but even defended him. That attitude said everything.
A sly little smirk...
Was it just my imagination? A dangerous smile tugged at the corner of Hyeonji's mouth. Then she said something just as ridiculous as that smile.
"You just gonna sit there and take it?"
"Uh... doesn't seem like there's much I can do from here."
"If you break them up, you'll get your shot, right? I could help you."
"What the hell... If two people are dating just fine, what right does some third party have to wreck it? And what exactly are you offering to help with?"
Of course Lee Jubin and Eunju weren't actually dating. But setting that aside—what kind of mindset was this, casually deciding to sabotage someone else's relationship?
"So you're just giving up like this?"
"If you're so eager to help, how about breaking up Harin and that guy she's into instead? I'd be all for that."
"..."
Hyeonji didn't even bother answering. She just stared at me with pure contempt, like she was done with me. Fair enough—from her perspective I was flipping from Kang Harin to Park Eunju and back to Kang Harin in the span of seconds.
"Huu... Anyway, nice running into you. I'm heading home now..."
"Come with me. We're having a drink."
"...?"
She spun on her heel mid-sentence and headed the opposite direction. Since when had I agreed to drink with her?
"Uh... I really think I should head home. It's way too late."
"You're not the type who cares about that."
"What the hell... What do you even know about me? I have a family waiting for me. A home."
"What family?"
"..."
When she asked that directly, I had nothing. I'd been lying so much lately that it took me a second just to remember who I'd introduced as family to whom.
"Come with me. If you want to know about Kang Harin."
"...?"
But Kim Hyeonji was no ordinary girl either. The moment she sensed I was looking for an exit, she dangled a juicy piece of bait.
How was I supposed to refuse after that?
The plastic bag from the convenience store—cans of beer and some jerky—swung as we walked. The place we ended up was a small hiking trail on the neighborhood hill. I sat on a bench and started unpacking what I'd bought when Hyeonji stood there at an angle and grumbled.
"Why'd you bring me here?"
"I get what you want, but can you please stop making life harder for innocent civilians? You can rebel against your parents all you want and call it a day, but for the convenience store owner that place is basically the oxygen tank keeping their family alive."
Truth was, it was for my own safety. I'd already been caught by the same cop twice.
Next time would be an automatic strikeout. I couldn't afford any more risk.
"Tch..."
Hyeonji looked annoyed but sat down next to me without a fight. I cracked open a beer can with a sharp hiss and held it out. She took it with one hand, the other still shoved in her school blazer pocket.
"Alright, so about Harin's crush..."
"If you've been running your mouth about me, confess right here. I'll let you live."
"...?"
So the bait had been exactly that—bait. I'd thought it was weird when she suddenly suggested a drink.
Looking at it now, she was just here to shut me up because she was worried the things she'd said last time had leaked somewhere.
"I'm not the type who goes around talking about that stuff. More like... I don't even have friends to talk to."
"Hometown friends, parents—no exceptions."
"Neither of those exist, so don't worry about it."
"What?"
"..."
I hadn't even touched the beer yet and I was already putting my foot in my mouth? I turned to Hyeonji with wide, startled eyes. Her unusually thick eyebrows twitched.
"An orphan?"
"Orphan? I just lost my parents a little earlier than most people."
"Your brother died too, right? So you're alone?"
"Uh..."
I had Harin, but of course I couldn't say that to the one person I absolutely couldn't tell. Just like that, my whole miserable family history got spilled.
"That's why you couldn't answer earlier? Why didn't you say so?"
"What the hell... Why would I have to tell you that?"
"You said you wanted to be friends with me."
"I-I did say that, but... you already looked like you had zero interest in being friends, so I figured if I also said I had no parents you'd just keep even more distance."
"What does that matter?"
"What do you mean what does it matter? Even if people pretend it doesn't, that kind of thing always matters. You might not care, but your parents would definitely tell you not to hang out with someone like me."
Just like how I wanted her to stay as far away from Harin as possible. But the verbal slip-ups just wouldn't stop.
"You messing with me?"
"..."
Right. Hyeonji's family situation was just as much of a disaster. After her parents remarried, her stepmom stole her dad and they stopped treating her like family at all.
Someone born with the exact same fate as me—having the person they loved stolen by family. That was Kim Hyeonji.
"Hey, Hyeonji?"
"Don't call me that."
"What the hell... If I don't call Hyeonji 'Hyeonji,' what am I supposed to call you?"
"Don't act all buddy-buddy."
"Haa... Fine. Kim Hyeonji, I've got a question for you. Do you want to run away from home?"
"Yeah."
"..."
An obvious question got an obvious answer. Even Harin was constantly looking for a chance to ditch me and go independent—why would this girl be any different?
"Planning to leave the second you graduate?"
"I'm getting ready."
"Getting ready? All you're doing is staring at the calendar every day and killing time."
"It's different. I'm saving money."
"Shaking down a thousand won a day isn't going to do much more than cover cigarette money until your back breaks. Besides, kids these days don't even carry cash."
"You stupid? I work."
"Y-you work? You!?"
"Got a problem with that?"
Her already sharp T-zone got even more defined. I couldn't hold her fierce glare and immediately looked away.
Not because I was scared. Because even that was too pretty.
"No, I was just surprised. Working diligently while preparing to run away from home? That doesn't add up."
"Maybe to a coward like you who got his girl stolen by his own brother and still can't even think about leaving home."
"What the hell... I ran away from home too, you know."
"For how long?"
"Eighteen days..."
"Pfft..."
I earned myself a full-on sneer. But she had it wrong. As a runaway senior, I thought she was the one being way too calm about it.
"What kind of work? Is it one of those things I saw on the news? Promoting illegal betting sites and getting pocket money from the local tough girls?"
"Part-time job."
"Pwah..."
I ended up spitting out the beer I'd been holding in my mouth. Was that even possible?
"S-so you're saying you ditch school before lunch even starts, beat up some kid you randomly run into in front of a karaoke place, casually warm up in the library, then drink beer right out in the open in front of a convenience store—but when it comes to money, you earn it honestly?"
"What's the problem from the start?"
"N-nothing wrong with it. So what kind of part-time job?"
"That's... none of your business."
"..."
Hyeonji blushed a little, like that one thing actually embarrassed her. Seeing a girl who usually looked like nothing in the world could scare her act like that made me think, yeah, she really was a girl after all.
I still couldn't quite believe it, but maybe she really was working a normal part-time job. It just clashed so hard with her image.
"Sorry. For having prejudices like a typical 'adult.'"
"I'm used to it."
"If you're going to live a normal life anyway, how about actually going to school properly and drinking on the sly?"
"I can't give that up."
"Right, you've got to get revenge on your dad, so that's impossible. What are you going to do after you leave home?"
"Live alone."
"Yeah, but live alone doing what?"
"..."
The silence told me she had zero plans beyond that. I understood completely.
I'd just blindly hopped on a bus to Haeyang High myself. I never thought about what came after.
"What about you?"
This time Hyeonji threw a question my way. I couldn't figure out what she was getting at.
"What about me?"
"How do you live? You said you don't have parents."
"Ah... right. Me, well... my aunt takes care of me instead."
"Do you have to walk on eggshells?"
"Not at all. She hits me sometimes, but that's all for my own good."
"You can't live there forever."
"Obviously I'm going independent after graduation too. I've already got the whole plan mapped out."
"What is it?"
"Work a normal job and build a normal family."
"That's not a plan."
"It is a plan. It's a dream that's way harder to achieve than it sounds. You'll probably understand someday too."
"Stop acting like an adult."
"I'm acting like one because I'm not one. If I were a real adult I wouldn't need to 'act.'"
"..."
I'd just said it offhand, but she seemed to take it surprisingly well. And it was true.
I still didn't feel like an adult, so maybe that was why I was constantly obsessed with pretending to be one.
That obsessive side of me that couldn't show Harin even a shred of leniency. Or the way I stuck my nose into Eunju's private life when it was none of my business.
"Did you forgive him because he died?"
"Hey, Hyeonji? That topic change feels a little abrupt..."
"I warned you not to call me that."
"Haa... Kim Hyeonji, third-year at Cheonji High School? What if I don't actually want to answer that?"
"You have to."
"Why?"
"Because I'm curious."
"..."
I'd almost forgotten she was just a nineteen-year-old kid behind that mature face. We shared a few secrets of our own, so maybe it was fine to tell her this much.
"It wasn't because he died. I probably forgave him a long time before that."
It was true that my brother and mom dying made me try to accept Harin. But had the resentment toward my brother lasted more than a decade? No.
Feelings dull over time. Even at the funeral of someone who dies suddenly far from home, the family doesn't cry for three straight days.
Eventually they get hungry and eat. They run into old acquaintances and end up laughing while talking about the past without even realizing it.
Even while the body of the family member they loved is growing cold.
Honestly, I forgave him right after my first fishing trip. The second the regret hit—what the hell kind of insane thing had I done—I suddenly wanted to see my brother.
Of course pride, or maybe just the fact that Buenos Aires was too far, kept me from going to the funeral. But even if I never admitted it, I had definitely forgiven him.
"Spineless bastard."
"Yeah, I've got no pride. But the only difference is time—you'll end up forgiving them too. Family, blood—you can never cut that off. Not because of some dreamy, idealistic view of moral family values. Probably because our genes themselves got refined that way for the survival of the species."
"Don't use hard words. I don't understand any of it."
Was I going a little crazy? Watching this rare modern-day problem child openly express her feelings made me suddenly think she was cute.
I turned my head and faced her. The faint moonlight cast shadows along the lines of her face that stood out more than usual tonight.
I felt it every time I saw her—she really had an incredible face. Just a green tracksuit under her school uniform, and every time she exhaled the thick smell of cigarettes came with it.
And yet if there was a reason I couldn't look away, it was those eyes. Under that strong, almost aggressive T-zone, a pair of soft, melting eyes that looked like a big dog whose only thoughts were eating and napping.
I knew feeling this way about a nineteen-year-old was basically a crime. I also knew the second I got home I'd pour self-loathing all over myself.
Even so, you are beautiful. If you'd been just one year older, I probably would've fallen in love all over again—knowing full well how ridiculous it was.