I Didn't Buy the Alcohol
Somehow I'd ended up cosplaying as a high school boy, and somehow I'd become a member of this group called A Team that I'd never even heard of before.
So of course I'd always been curious about what this A Team even was. And now, right in front of me, stood someone I was certain belonged to it.
"How did you know I wasn't part of A Team?"
"You can just tell by looking."
"No—it's because you're the one who's actually in A Team. That's why you came looking for me on purpose, right?"
When I declared that I was A Team, Hyeonji answered that she'd figured as much. In other words, she'd already calculated that I usually went around impersonating them.
Because that day by the wall, she'd seen me without a name tag. She might not have been that meticulous an observer, but if she herself was A Team, the story changed completely.
Checking for name tags no matter who she met had become second nature. At the wall it had been a chance encounter; at the library I'd been the one to spot her.
But there was no reason for her to come looking for me today. Kim Hyeonji was here to catch the impersonator.
"You seem pretty sharp, so why pull a stunt that dangerous?"
Kim Hyeonji didn't deny my assessment. Instead she lowered her posture and launched into a full-on interrogation.
"Was impersonating A Team that dangerous?"
"At least you shouldn't have done it in front of me. Why'd you do it?"
That completely expressionless, indifferent face combined with her low, hoarse voice was a little scary. But I had never impersonated A Team.
I'd simply been ignorant of the name-tag rules, and with Eunju and Wonhui and everyone treating me like A Team, I'd just gone along with it.
"Well... it's cool, right?"
"What's cool about it?"
"Just, I don't know, saying you're A Team is like... unique... hip... rebellious, I guess?"
With zero information on A Team, all I could do was dredge up words that kids would like.
But that didn't seem like such a bad choice. Kim Hyeonji let out a snort of hollow laughter.
"Always with that bluffing... Do you have any idea how dangerous what you did was?"
"But what choice did I have? If A Team put out a recruitment notice, sure, but I don't know how to join, so I had to at least pretend."
"A Team doesn't take applications or anything."
"Then how do you become A Team?"
"It's not something you become because you want to. Before you know it, you just 'become' one."
"..."
Seems like you're the one bluffing here, not me. With that vague talk you're inflating the fantasy of A Team all the way past the stratosphere.
"So it's not a complete impersonation, then? I could become A Team someday too, right?"
"No. You absolutely can't."
"How can you be so sure?"
"Because you look happy."
"Me? Where exactly do I look happy?"
Has she picked up Minjeong's speech habits or something? My first love got pregnant by my own brother.
Do you know how it feels to be a head of household who's lost both adoptive parents and whose only daughter is dreaming of escape?
"You were all excited about getting introduced to girls, right? Got a new haircut, bought clothes. A guy who's in a good enough mood to have a drink can't possibly not be happy."
"What the hell... You drink too, don't you?"
"I don't eat snacks with it. That's the difference between you and me."
"..."
So it wasn't habitual alcohol consumption, but her own way of chewing on solitude?
But you try hitting your thirties. You can't not eat snacks if you care about your body, you know?
"Anyway, I've got plenty of scars too."
"What kind of scars?"
"Why would I tell you that?"
"You want to join A Team, don't you? Then you should explain your circumstances to me all the more, right?"
"..."
At Cheonji High they might not teach much else, but they sure teach logical speaking well. Everyone's gotten good at hitting the nail on the head.
Of course, it could also be because I've spent over a decade just gutting tuna heads until my intelligence turned fish-like. But this was a bit of a dilemma.
Kim Hyeonji was definitely acquainted with Harin. Getting close to her raised the possibility of obtaining new information I didn't know.
But I'd already formed too many human relationships. If it was just casually running into Eunju's group, fine—but if I really joined A Team, my identity might get exposed someday.
"I don't want to join A Team."
"Why the sudden change of heart?"
"Because like you said, it was just bluffing. But I'll tell you what kind of scars I have."
"Why, if you're not even joining A Team?"
"In exchange, you tell me what you know about Harin. A kind of give-and-take."
Joining A Team was too big a risk after all. But if I could get information on Harin in exchange for satisfying a few of Kim Hyeonji's curiosities, I could use past scars as much as I wanted.
"Go ahead."
Kim Hyeonji leaned back in her chair with a brazen air, as if ready to listen. And from the way she pulled out a fresh cigarette, I'd bought at least three minutes.
"I've been betrayed by family."
"..."
In that instant Kim Hyeonji's movements froze. The lighter flame whooshed to life, but she didn't even bring it near the cigarette in her mouth.
What was this reaction? This girl was seriously interested.
"Tell me in detail."
"There was a girl I liked, and my brother stole her. Not just the usual kind of brother—my actual blood-related closest collateral relative."
"Must've felt disgusting. So what happened?"
"Sorry for killing the mood, but that's where it ends. It was over with both of them. I never saw the girl again after that, and my brother... I can't see him even if I want to now."
"He died?"
"Yeah. I couldn't even go to the funeral. Of course there were circumstances at the time, but if I'd really made up my mind to go, maybe I could have."
Modern science and technology let you jump to the other side of the Earth in a day. My already ruined life would have fallen further, but if you ask whether the possibility was zero, it wasn't.
Whoosh!
Only then did Kim Hyeonji light her cigarette. She took a deeper drag than usual and slowly exhaled the smoke through her nose with a long huff.
She was lost in pretty deep thought. Was my seemingly ordinary story that impressive? Or was it...
"Do you still resent them?"
She only opened her mouth after half the cigarette had burned down. But the gravity of her expression didn't seem like the her I knew.
"No way. It was so long ago I don't really think about it anymore. A man and a woman just liked each other, right? I overstepped and fell on my face alone."
"But that was only a year or two ago, wasn't it?"
"Uh... well yeah, but men, unlike women, are animals of forgetfulness. That's why I could forget quickly."
That was a lie. I was a man overflowing with estrogen to the point that I only realized what wrong I'd done after Mom died.
But since I couldn't say that, I had no choice but to become a shameless, despicable human with not a shred of integrity. Kim Hyeonji let out a hollow laugh as if she couldn't believe it.
"You forgive them over just that?"
"What else can I do? In the end, they're family."
This was something I desperately wanted to say to Harin, not myself. I got that she was mad at me, but I hoped she wouldn't take the same path as me.
"I can't accept that."
"Yeah, your case is a little different. So now tell me your story."
"What?"
Kim Hyeonji's eyebrows twisted as if to say what kind of guy is this. But even if I was dense, she didn't think I hadn't realized anything from the conversation just now, right?
"You had something similar happen, didn't you? That's why you reacted right away when I said I'd been betrayed by family. And then when I said I forgave them so quickly, you couldn't accept it. Because you 'still' haven't forgiven."
"..."
Hitting the nail on the head isn't just you guys' privilege. Kim Hyeonji had surprisingly let a lot of clues slip.
The reason this girl who seemed indifferent to the world had taken such interest in my story, the way she seemed to empathize to an abnormal degree.
More than anything, you have one too, right? That 'trigger' for joining A Team?
"You think I'll tell you?"
"I told you, didn't I? So you should repay me for that."
"What you wanted was about Kang Harin. So I just have to tell you that."
"Then I'll give up on hearing about Harin. Tell me your story instead."
"...?"
She never expected I'd give up on Kang Harin here, did she? Of course, no matter how gossip-crazy I was, I wasn't trying to abandon info on Harin just to hear Kim Hyeonji's inner circumstances.
It was the so-called one step back for two steps forward. Instead of joining A Team, form a bond of empathy with her and look to the next opportunity. Of course, Kim Hyeonji had no intention of speaking freely.
"Guess."
Instead she proposed twenty questions. She didn't want to say it herself, so she'd give me a chance to luckily guess the answer.
Approach carefully. No matter how tough she acted, she was still a kid not even twenty.
There were clearly hints hidden in the reaction she showed to my story just now.
"You were the same as me. You had someone you loved stolen by someone in your family."
"Close."
"Not completely the same, then? Let's see... You're a really unique kid. No matter how gutsy, there aren't kids who openly drink and party while wearing their school uniform blazer like you."
Of course, if you're busy you can smoke in uniform. But you do the bare minimum of camouflage.
Duck into an alley, or unconsciously glance around.
But Kim Hyeonji had none of that. She had a boldness that said she didn't care even if she got caught.
Of course, if that was really 'boldness,' sure.
"The reason you openly drink or smoke, and even skip class, isn't simply because you're not scared. Because this, beyond bluffing, is the kind of thing that invites unnecessary trouble. Eventually you'll get caught. Then everyone gets involved and you have to go through the hassle one more time. Police, school, and ultimately family..."
After rambling through some brainstorming, I found my own answer. And seeing how Kim Hyeonji's brow was extremely furrowed, there was no need to hesitate in saying it.
"Aha! You're doing this on purpose. Because you want your family to notice what you're doing. Because you hold a grudge against one of them."
"Who?"
"Obviously your parents, right? When trouble hits, the ones who come running aren't siblings but parents. For a kid like you, it's even legally determined."
"There you go again? Acting like you're the only adult?"
"Anyway, you actively empathized with my story of being betrayed by family. And you got pretty immersed in the story of having someone you liked stolen. Putting it all together..."
The answer was already out. But I wasn't sure if I should lay it out right in front of her face.
"Is it really okay to say?"
"You said you figured it out?"
"But if you hear it from my mouth directly, it might make you feel bad..."
"Fuck, I'm already in a shitty mood so just say it."
"..."
If you put a rag in your mouth with that straight face, it makes it even harder for me to speak. But if I stop talking here, it really seems like she'd hit me.
"Hoo... It's a common thing. One of the parents you're living with now isn't your biological parent. Either your real mom was stolen by a stepdad, or your real dad was stolen by a stepmom. In short, you had a 'beloved' family member stolen by your new 'family'."
This fit all the criteria I'd set. A parent's remarriage is no different from betrayal to a teenage girl.
Naturally she'd see it as having what was originally hers taken away. Only here, the person she liked was also family, and the one who took them was also family.
So unlike me, she has to watch their happiness right in front of her eyes. Really a twisted fate.
"Wrong."
"Huh?"
Scrape! Kim Hyeonji stood up from her seat with those words. Not that she was about to hit me.
Beep-beep...
At some point, a patrol car that had received a report was approaching this way. Don't tell me you're trying to run off leaving me again?
"Weren't you doing this because you wanted to get caught on purpose? How about getting dragged to the police station and having your wish come true instead?"
"Not bad. But watching you get fucked is more fun."
"What the hell..."
"Anyway, you were wrong. I've never thought of 'that bitch' as family."
"...?"
In the final moment before leaving, Hyeonji finally revealed the answer herself. So the one stolen was Dad.
Just as I'd expected. At the same time, the police officer arrived in front of the table.
"I've seen you before, right? Still not learned your lesson?"
"..."
Of all people, it was that guy from back then. I rubbed the bridge of my nose awkwardly and answered.
"I didn't buy the alcohol. I got shaken down for it..."
Surprisingly, it was all true.