Chapter 149: Contract Couple
Translator: RaidenTL
Chapter 149: Contract Couple
“Hmm...”
In the wake of the monster showdown that had rocked all of London and the subsequent abduction of Isaac Adler, the chaos had finally begun to settle.
On the morning after the ordeal, a young woman sat at her dining table, staring out the window with an anxious expression.
Ding-dong!
“...!”
She had been sitting there for an eternity, lost in thought. The sudden chime of the doorbell made her eyes snap wide, and she bolted upright.
“Ah...”
Halfway to the door, she paused. She hurried to a mirror on the wall, frantically tidying her appearance.
“...P-Please, come in.”
Only after ensuring she looked impeccable—to the point that even the most vain critic wouldn't find a single hair out of place—did she open the door and speak in a small, hesitant voice.
Swoosh...
“...?”
A blond boy peeked through the gap. His eyes were narrowed, scanning the interior of the house with clinical precision.
“What are you doing, Adler...?”
“Checking for assassins, monsters, or a Holmes lying in ambush.”
“...Do you really think that’s possible in the home of Gia Lestrade, of all people?”
“Well, when you put it like that.”
Only then did the tension in his gaze soften. Isaac Adler stepped inside.
“Why are you overreacting?”
“.......”
“The witness investigation is already over. Aside from you, another witness provided a detailed account of the incident. Thanks to them, you’ve been cleared as a victim of circumstance.”
“...Is that so?”
“Of course, there are still dozens of lawsuits pending in your name from over the years, but you aren't in any immediate danger of being arrested.”
Gia Lestrade watched him quietly, processing his words. She stared at Adler, a subtle, unreadable glint in her eyes.
““........””
A strange tension began to hum between them.
“I couldn't ask properly yesterday because of the chaos with Lupin,” she began, her voice trembling slightly. “But I’ll ask again now.”
“...Go on.”
“Are we really... in that kind of relationship?”
Caught in the gravity of the moment, Inspector Lestrade’s face flushed a deep crimson. She averted her eyes, unable to meet Adler’s gaze.
“By ‘that’ kind of relationship, you mean...?”
“You—you know exactly what I mean!”
“.......”
“...A married couple.”
Seeing her usually robotic and frigid demeanor crumble into this disheveled state, Adler found himself looking away as well.
“If this is just a lie to tease me, or some play staged for a greater purpose, I suggest you confess right now,” she muttered.
“.........”
“If you do, I’ll leave your head intact enough for you to be resurrected. Though... I might accidentally crush half of it if I can’t control my temper.”
Lestrade glanced back at him, her voice dropping into a terrifyingly intense interrogation tone.
“Isaac Adler, are we really married?”
“.........”
“Am I really, really... your wife?”
Flushing, Adler fidgeted with his fingers for a moment before pulling a document from his coat.
“What’s this?”
“I stopped by the town hall on my way here to pick up our marriage certificate.”
“Ah...”
“What does it say?”
Lestrade stared blankly at the paper Adler handed her, her voice sounding hollow.
“Spouse... Gia Lestrade.”
“...I brought the family register too, just in case. If you still don’t believe it, feel free to check any other record office in England.”
“........”
“Even I can’t manipulate an entire national institution, can I?”
Adler fell silent, watching her. Lestrade slowly lifted her head, her expression vacant.
“...We are legally married.”
“Yes.”
“The state officially recognizes us as a married couple.”
“Newlyweds, even.”
“Does it feel real now...?”
Her face, already red, deepened to the shade of a ripe apple.
“Ooh...”
“...In that regard, I have a proposal for you.”
Adler, who had been watching her intently, slid a blank contract across the table—one that had been hidden under a newspaper.
“A proposal?”
“We should draft a detailed contract regarding our sham marriage.”
She tilted her head to the side.
“You weren't seriously planning to live as a real married couple, were you?”
“That—that is...”
“I am a vile devil intent on taking over London, and you, Miss Lestrade, were forced into this marriage to stop me.”
“........”
“Knowing the choice you’ve made, I’m making this proposal for your convenience.”
As Lestrade fell silent, Adler pulled a pen from his pocket and began scribbling on the paper.
“You must protect me above all else, regardless of the circumstances. Furthermore, you cannot betray me, and you must fully cooperate with me in purging the supernatural beings from London.”
“.........”
“And this contract will terminate one year from now via mutual divorce.”
He finished writing on his side of the page, then looked up at Lestrade.
“These are my terms for our contractual marriage, Inspector. Now, it’s your turn. State your demands.”
“...Is that so?”
A whirlwind of complex emotions swirled in Lestrade’s eyes. She began to murmur in a subdued voice.
“I didn't know...”
“Inspector?”
“Never mind. I understand.”
Suddenly, her usual cool, professional mask snapped back into place. She straightened her back and spoke with a rigid, formal tone.
“Then, I shall propose my demands.”
“Go ahead.”
“From this moment forward, Isaac Adler must have eyes for me and me alone.”
“...?”
“He shall not flirt with any other woman, nor shall he let his mind wander toward them.”
Adler, who had been casually poised to write, felt his eyes widen.
“From now on, all expressions of love and acts of affection must be directed solely toward Gia Lestrade, Inspector of the London Metropolitan Police. This applies to everything—from casual conversation to physical intimacy.”
“Um...”
“Gia Lestrade promises to accept these acts obediently and without objection. In return, if Isaac Adler breaches this clause, Gia Lestrade is permitted to inflict physical harm upon him.”
“Mi—Miss Lestrade...”
Adler stopped writing, but Lestrade snatched the pen from his hand and began carving her demands into the contract herself.
“Lastly, the termination date of this contract may be extended by mutual agreement. I emphasize: mutual agreement.”
“...The way you emphasized that makes me very uneasy.”
“And specific clauses may also be modified by mutual agreement. Those are my demands.”
Having filled the contract to the margins, Gia Lestrade finally set the pen down.
“I have entered this marriage to protect the women of London from you. If you wish to borrow my strength, you must comply.”
“...But can you handle it?” Adler asked, narrowing his eyes. “I wonder if Miss Lestrade, the great apostle of justice, can truly endure the cloying affection of a scumbag like me.”
“........”
“It seems to me you won't last a few days before begging me to change the terms...”
“...Do as you please.”
She crossed her arms, looking displeased by his mocking tone.
“For the peace of London, I have no intention of compromising on these clauses.”
“...Hmm.”
Adler watched her for a moment, then picked up the pen and elegantly signed his name.
“So, does it start now?”
“It would seem so... Hmm?”
As Lestrade took the pen to sign beneath him, Adler suddenly leaned in close to her neck.
Smack...
“.......!?!?”
As his lips and tongue brushed against the sensitive skin of her neck, Lestrade’s entire body twitched. She looked dazed.
“A-Are we starting this already?”
“...If you dislike it, we could always agree to modify the clause.”
“Uggh...”
She gritted her teeth, unable to protest her own terms.
“Inspector.”
“What... what is it?”
“You’ve never even touched a man, let alone had your first kiss, right?”
Adler took her chin in his hand, slowly leaning toward her lips. Lestrade’s mouth squirmed in anxious anticipation.
“That’s...”
“...I’ll be taking your first kiss, then.”
His voice was sweet enough to paralyze her senses. Heat rose through her body as she tightly closed her eyes.
“...You animal.”
“...Sister!!”
“”........!?!?””
A familiar, cheerful voice rang out from behind them.
“Did we have guests?”
“”........””
“Hey! It’s Brother Adler!”
Lestrade’s younger brother appeared, grinning as he walked toward them with his hands behind his back. The "contracted" couple practically flew apart, both of them breaking into fits of fake coughing.
.
.
.
.
.
“Brother, what brings you here?”
“Ah, well...”
The timing was suspiciously perfect. Gia Lestrade’s younger brother beamed at us.
“Sister, please get a grip.”
“Eh?”
“You’ve been chasing Adler around for days, and you even got hauled into the station as a witness for a kidnapping... Ugh!”
“...Shut your mouth before I sew it shut.”
Fortunately, she was distracted by her brother’s teasing. I let out a quiet sigh and turned my attention back to Lestrade.
“...So, you’re not just here to unload the desires of half the women in London on me, are you?”
“.......”
“What can I do to help you?”
Sighing in much the same way I had, Gia Lestrade asked the question in a stiff tone. Her cheeks were still slightly flushed—a stark contrast to her usual coldness that I found quite cute. I pondered how to respond.
[Probability Warning!]
At that moment, a bright red warning message flared before my eyes. My decision was made for me.
[The following case has the potential to cause a serious Probability Collapse, leading to the destruction of the world.]
[CASE: The Creeping Man]
“Ah, damn it.”
The darkest stain on the Sherlock Holmes canon. A taboo among Sherlockians. Despite being an official short story, it was nothing more than a cheap sci-fi piece that could hardly be called a mystery.
“...Monsters aren't the problem right now.”
“Adler?”
That was my assessment of the episode I now had to overhaul—even if it meant risking my life.