Enter Hae-myo

An hour had passed since the stream went live.

The yanderes who'd shot down the idea of a guest at the start had, against every expectation, taken to Se-ah noona just fine. They clicked in a way I hadn't seen coming — laughing, running their mouths, picking fights, then laughing all over again. They were getting along.

We were killing time with small talk, answering the questions that rolled in through donations as they came. Nothing as stiff as a formal Q&A — more like a breather between segments.

"Am I allowed to describe his face?"

Whatever that opening rampage of hers had been, it seemed to have been a one-time glitch. Since then she'd settled into skinship that ran only a little closer than usual. She was holding up her end as a guest, too.

"Go for it. I'm curious myself. Wonder how you'll see me."

"Hmm... well, first off, Ian is shorter than the average man."

What's wrong with how I move? If anything, carrying myself with old-Earth instincts should make me more manly, shouldn't it? Or in this world, does that count as feminine?

I still hadn't bought it when noona started kneading my cheek, adding more.

"But his face is small, too. Skin like milk, eyes big and round. Overall he feels closer to a woman than a man."

"It's not that he looks like a woman, exactly..."

Noona hesitated, then let out a sigh.

"I'll just be honest. If you want someone to compare Ian against, you can't use other men as ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠the baseline. You have to use women."

"Give the cam a little more time!"

The cam requests were piling up, bit by bit. I'd prepped a webcam, sure. I was still terrified of it. Running my mouth on stream was fine. Talking to people was actually fun. Putting my face out there, though — that still made my stomach turn.

"It's not the same as saying he looks like a woman. To compare two things you need some common ground, right? But the gap in quality is so ridiculous that even that is impossible among other men."

"I-is that okay? Talking that strongly?"

Wasn't that a little much? I kept waiting for a call from upstairs and a formal write-up.

"Why would I handle the aftermath? The second Ian turns on his cam, you'll all get it on your own."

Excuse me? She was hanging me out to dry? What exactly was I supposed to do about that?

I was still groping for an answer when another donation landed.

Wait. Why was Hae-myo here? Wasn't she supposed to be live right now?

Unless a streamer was taking the night off, evening was peak hours. You could open Twitch after dinner and safely assume most of them were already on.

"H-Hae-myo? What brings a mega-streamer to a humble little place like this..."

"Is she someone famous?"

Noona asked like she'd never heard the name. Fair enough. When I'd first told her I was streaming, she'd said she didn't watch variety streams at all. The fact that she'd signed up for Twitch just to watch me, and then sat through every one of these endless broadcasts, suddenly felt a lot more precious.

"YouTube subscriber count over ten million. She's a really, really big deal."

"Ten million? That's impressive."

She said it, but she didn't look all that moved.

"So why would someone like that show up here?"

"I have no idea."

I scanned the chat for someone who'd actually explain the situation and instead found a comment that stopped me cold. Hae-myo had never personally dropped into a male streamer's broadcast.

Live streams ran so long I usually just watched the YouTube edits. Thinking back on it, she was right — I'd never seen a man appear on Hae-myo's channel, or even heard her talk to one. She just ranted about men by herself like she'd lost her mind over them.

After a string of donations from people who were clearly her fans, she jumped in herself to insist it was all lies. I figured she seemed fun enough and was about to play along when a video arrived.

On screen was a girl sniffling, her eyes gone red from crying. Her hair fell to just below her shoulder blades, dyed ash-blue, and her irises were black until the light caught them — then they flashed a vivid blue. Upturned eyes, a high straight nose, a thin mouth: the features assembled themselves into a perfect cat face. I understood, in a single look, exactly where her stage name had come from. Hae-myo. Sea Cat.

She was crying so wretchedly I felt sorry for her just watching. And yet, while a human being was falling apart on my screen, my eyes kept sliding downward. A pair ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠of breasts that looked large and soft trembled every time she sniffled. A cat, of all things, packing the kind of weapons that reeled people in.

"Ahaha. I'll do my best."

Even the machine voice reading the donation sounded desperate. Could I forget it, though? I'd be doing well not to go back and rewatch it on a loop. That kind of dynamic movement was not something a man simply let go of.

"That's not what happened! I just didn't want to catch heat for sticking a straw in her if we collabed."

One of the yanderes had gotten the completely wrong idea and was flooding chat with stuff that made my face burn. Behind me, the arm Se-ah noona had slung around me had gone tight and stayed that way. When I glanced back, she was staring into the middle distance, turning something over in her head. I didn't want to poke her, so I put my attention back on the stream.

"When did I say I was worried about Hae-myo? I was worried about catching heat myself."

Image-making, my ass. They were just messing with her.

Still... the whole vibe of the stream just flipped.

Hae-myo's arrival had taken a broadcast that had been drifting along nicely and turned it into chaos. The Squid Squad — her fandom — was dumping donations just to roast their own streamer. Real-time clips of Hae-myo kept arriving as donations, broadcasting her reactions to the rest of us. And our yanderes kept slamming the topic into a new gear to match every shift. But this was only the beginning.

Manager noona, flooring it out of nowhere. And she'd put two hundred thousand won behind it.

Two days ago I'd tried to get in touch about her pay, and she'd refused to take it. When I tried to force it on her she'd recoiled like I'd offered her a live snake, then ignored me for the rest of the day. At least she'd still done her actual manager job on stream, or I would've had a heart attack. Regardless: the person who was supposed to be collecting a salary from me was now the one sending me money. I had no idea how to feel about that.

Why were they even fighting?

She'd gotten prickly the last time Hae-myo sent a collab offer, too. What history did these two have?

"Manager noona! Just calm down for a sec— nn!"

I called for manager noona, trying to break up the two of them as they kept hiking the amounts and sniping at each other. In that same instant, Se-ah noona grabbed my chest with both hands. A sharp, electric jolt of pleasure shot through the nipples pinched between her fingers. My hips lifted off the chair before I could stop them.

This is making me feel like a girl!

The thought that I'd somehow become a woman myself was almost enough to make me sad.

"Ahaha! I spilled my water, that's all. Sorry?"

That one had gone straight into the mic, clean. Luckily, nobody seemed to have clocked it as a moan. I tossed out the excuse, killed the mute, and turned to look at noona.

"What was that all of a sudden?"

"What was what?"

Se-ah noona had gone sulky out of nowhere. Had something happened that would put her in a mood?

"Dan-woo's so lucky! Having so many noonas!"

"Ah..."

Jealousy. I'd called for another noona right in front of Se-ah noona, and she'd gotten jealous.

"You're right. I do have a lot of noonas."

"Wow... and here you were saying noonas were fine, that we should have s-se... sex!"

If it was going to embarrass her that much, she shouldn't have said it. More to the point — when had I ever said we should have sex? I'd said I'd think of it as sex instead of rape.

She was still grumbling, so I kept going.

"But those noonas don't even know what I look like. I've never met them in person. We've never eaten together, or gone for a walk, or gone shopping."

The mouth that had been pouring out complaints without a pause snapped shut. I figured this was my opening and pushed on.

"The only person in my contacts is Se-ah noona. The only person who's ever been to my place is you. And you're the first person I've ever cooked for."

Her face went redder with every sentence. Time to drive it in.

I waited until she'd gone completely silent, then turned the mic back on.

While I'd been talking to noona, the fight between Hae-myo ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠and manager noona had apparently gone all the way to the wall.

"O-oh, wow... that's some spicy rhetoric, Manager-nim."

Formal speech slipped out before I could catch it. I genuinely had not expected her to talk with the filter ripped off like that.

"So why were they fighting?"

That explained it. I'd assumed manager noona used to be Hae-myo's manager. I'd figured they were that close because they'd worked together. It was the opposite.

"Our manager's actually incredible. She turned down a manager seat that Hae-myo offered her."

What? Don't have a conversation only you people understand — fill me in too. More to the point, wasn't that the kind of chat you were supposed to ban?

Manager noona wasn't doing it, so maybe it was fine. I still reached for the mouse to ban them myself, and she beat me to it.

So banning them was the right call.

But why was she so slow about it? Slow for her, anyway — her usual pace was inhuman — and the difference was enough to make me worry for no good reason.

Okay, give me my concern back.

So that was why the ban had been late — she'd been busy sending the donation. I'd already been through this once, so I wasn't too worried. Stay calm, soothe her down, explain that I hadn't meant it that way. I took a sip of water and opened my mouth — and a voice from behind me stole the timing right out of my hands.

Se-ah noona, what are you doing?

"N-noona! Please calm down, okay? She's just kidding!"

"So have you actually met Ian in person?"

...Hae-myo. You said you weren't doing collabs.

Why come here and make a mess of things like this?