The Fourth Stream

After the walk, we headed home. Since Se-a would be going back alone, she skipped the special section entirely and parked in the villa lot instead. The fact that the special section was a good fifteen-minute walk from the building had something to do with it, too.

"Are you sure it's okay for me to come in?"

"Of course it is. I don't even ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠know how to build a computer, remember?"

Se-a had hauled all the parts up to the front door and now stood there, stuck. She was turning my invitation over in her head, trying to decide whether to actually step inside.

If she turned around and left now, though, I'd be the one in trouble. Who was supposed to put all this together? I'd originally planned to have her assemble the whole thing on the spot and just take the finished PC home, so she had a responsibility to see it through.

The truth was, the part of me that simply wanted her in my house was a lot bigger. About ninety percent bigger. But anyway.

I gave her still-hesitating back a gentle push and steered her through the door.

"So this is a guy's place..."

Whether she thought I wouldn't notice or she wasn't even aware she was doing it, I could see her sneakily breathing in the air. Not that I had any room to talk. I'd done the same thing with her scent.

Hovering in the entryway felt awkward, so I sat her down on the sofa and asked,

"Want something to drink? Do you like pear juice?"

"Huh? Oh — yeah! I like it."

I'd spent half my days on that sofa, so my scent was soaked deep into the cushions. That was why she kept sniffing without thinking, then startled the moment she registered that she'd just said I like it. The fluster was written all over her.

I swallowed the urge to tease her, went to the kitchen, poured a glass, and handed it over.

"There's no desk, though. Where do you even stream from?"

Having finally collected herself after a sip of juice, Se-a looked around the room again.

"At the table in front of the sofa. I've been streaming on a laptop up until now."

"Shouldn't you have bought a desk too, then?"

...Huh. She was right. Why hadn't I thought of that?

"Ahaha. Guess I'm heading back out..."

Watching me slump, Se-a laughed like she found the whole thing adorable and held out a helping hand.

"Let noona buy one for you."

"Huh? No, you don't have to go that far..."

"It's fine. I'll just place the order and have it delivered."

She said it like it was nothing.

"Noona..."

When I looked at her with a face full of gratitude, she scratched her cheek and set the glass down on the table. The juice was barely half gone.

"If I order it today, it should get here tomorrow. Noona's coming again tomorrow anyway, so don't worry."

She started peeling open the component boxes one by one as she spoke.

"If the delivery gets here first, call me — and don't open the door, okay?"

"Got it."

That was the last thing she said. After that she went quiet, fitting parts onto the motherboard one piece at a time.

I sat beside her in silence, watching her work, then watching the look of concentration on her face, then going back to watching her work. The feeling of having noona in my house was new. And it made me happy.

He's so cute.

If he simply never used a desk, that was one thing — but watching him wilt over something that small struck Se-a as unbearably adorable.

Was this what it would feel like to have a much-younger little brother? No. Even a little brother wouldn't have made her think he was this cute. Of that, she was certain. After all, there couldn't possibly be another man in the world who looked like Dan-woo.

"Let noona buy one for you."

The words had left her mouth on their own the moment she saw him in trouble. The part about coming again tomorrow had come out just as naturally.

A few days ago — four days ago, even — the version of herself from then never would have said or done any of this. Being around him was changing her.

Every vow she had sworn when she became an Escort Officer was crumbling, one after another, and the spaces they left behind were filling up with thoughts of him. Feelings for him.

Cute. Cute, cute cute cute!

She took a sip of juice, trying to wrestle her runaway thoughts back under control. On the way to setting the glass back on the table, her own palm caught her eye.

A hand that had endured brutal training, that she had tempered without missing a single day — and still had never grown a single callus.

She used to think about that, back in her student days, when none of her effort ever seemed to bear fruit. She'd wished that at the very least, a callus might form as proof that she had tried.

If that wish had come true — if her hands had been rough with calluses — would Dan-woo still have taken them? Would he still have held her hand every time they walked somewhere?

If it were Dan-woo... I think he would have.

He probably would have. That was the kind of man she had seen in him so far.

Even so, she was sure he found a hand this soft that much nicer to hold. Only now could she feel proud of her own palms.

He rubbed his head against this palm. And that cheek I grabbed without thinking... that was soft, too.

When they'd gotten in the car, he had suddenly nuzzled his head into her hand, and she'd nearly jumped. But more than the surprise, it had felt good. The way he'd squinted and smiled like he was enjoying it himself had been so cute she'd wanted to just keep stroking him forever.

And his cheeks? She couldn't claim they were the softest in the world. But that they were the most pleasant softness in the world — that, no one could deny. If she could, she would have sat there squeezing them all day. Without realizing it, she flexed her fingers, chasing the memory of that feeling.

Does Dan-woo like me? Would he... love me?

She had been told that an Escort Officer falling in love with the man in her care was only natural. But the man falling in love with his Escort Officer? The odds of that were vanishingly, brutally small.

Wanting love was a luxury. Just being allowed to stay by his side was enough. The bigger the hope, the bigger the disappointment — so don't hope.

She told herself that. Over and over. And still, the greed kept creeping in.

Whenever he was kind to her. Whenever he acted spoiled. Whenever he treated her like it was the most natural thing in the world. Even if she didn't want to, the wanting grew.

Agape? I need to stop overselling myself.

She wasn't a big enough person to deserve a word that grand. She wanted to give love, and she wanted to receive it.

Don't rush. There's still plenty of time.

That was right. She had at least ten years left until retirement, and the days she would see Dan-woo were too many to count. He seemed like the type to go out often, which meant even more chances to meet. Don't rush and ruin it.

I have more chances than anyone. It's fine. It'll be fine.

She kept talking herself down, a thin thread of unease still coiled in her chest.

She had no way of knowing.

What would happen in just three days.

"I set it up on the table for now. You're not turning the cam on, so it shouldn't matter. I tilted the monitor too — you know, angled it so it's comfortable to look at from the sofa."

Having finished the install in no time, noona walked me through every little detail. The truth was, aside from the actual assembly, I could have handled the rest myself. I just liked it better when she did it, so I left everything to her.

"Thanks. You must be exhausted. Want me to give you a massage?"

"H-huh? A m-massage?"

It wasn't as if I had zero ulterior motives. But more than that, the offer had come from a genuine place. I'd never actually given anyone a massage — no one had ever asked — but you just kneaded, right? How hard could it be?

Noona's reaction, though, was not what I'd expected.

Her eyes darted. Her breathing went ragged. Color flooded her face, the same flush she got when she was... worked up.

"S-sorry! Noona's gonna head out first! Lock the door behind me!"

I'd figured she'd be embarrassed. I hadn't figured it would be this bad. Something in her moved in a blur, and then she was just... gone.

I stared blankly at the front door. The whole thing had taken a few seconds. The door did not stare back.

"Wait... huh? Is that how this works?"

Now I was the one thrown. I rubbed the back of my neck for no good reason and let my gaze drift to the table.

I still needed to install the streaming software, so I hit the power button. While the PC booted, I glanced around — and there was the glass sitting on the table. The glass noona had just had her mouth on.

Those soft, springy pink lips of hers had been right there...

"Get a grip, you freak."

That was just being a pervert. I dumped what was left in the sink and washed the glass in a hurry.

"I was gonna have dinner with her, too. Shame."

I'd figured that as long as I'd invited her over, we might as well eat together. I hadn't expected I wouldn't even get the words out.

Guess I was eating alone again tonight.

Back in the old world, I ate alone just fine and lived just fine.

Ever since coming to this one, the loneliness had gotten heavier, and eating by myself didn't sit right anymore.

"Ah, forget it! Tonight's dinner is a luxury!"

I opened DeliveryHere and ordered jjimdak — braised spicy chicken — from the highest-rated place, their most expensive menu item. There was no way I could finish that much by myself, but that was the whole point of a flex, wasn't it?

Forty ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠minutes later, I was still installing programs when a text came through saying they'd left it at the door. I opened up and found a white plastic bag of jjimdak sitting against the hallway wall.

I set it on the dining table and peeled back the packaging, and there it was — a glistening boneless cheese jjimdak. Dark, sauce-soaked chicken nestled under a blanket of melted cheese that went straight for my empty stomach.

I swallowed the saliva pooling in my mouth and hurriedly picked up a piece of chicken with a stretch of cheese and put it in.

The rich, salty-savory cheese and the chicken that pulled apart in tender shreds came together in my mouth in something close to harmony.

"That's so good!"

I shoveled down piece after piece, and when I'd had about enough, I mixed the leftover sauce into a bowl of rice I'd set out to cool and cleaned the whole thing.

"Ugh, I'm stuffed. And I still have half left."

Even after all that, I hadn't made it through half. I hadn't been a big eater to begin with, and shrinking into this body had cut my appetite down even further.

I cleaned up, then sank onto the sofa, rubbing a belly that stuck out like a tadpole's. Lying back with that kind of fullness hitting was a paradise all its own.

"Really, though... I don't even know how to thank Se-a noona enough."

Every time I looked at the computer sitting on the table, she came back to mind. Why was she being this good to me? Was it normal for an Escort Officer to go out of her way and buy gifts for the man in her care? I hadn't even asked. And it wasn't ten or twenty thousand won — we were talking hundreds of thousands.

"I don't know. I don't know any of it. How am I supposed to know how a woman feels..."

The way I'd taken her hand first, teased her, played around with her — some of that had been deliberate. I'd been trying, watching for openings so I wouldn't miss them. But strangely, when I was with noona, those things just... happened. They came out on their own.

Did noona like me? No — of course she did. Put a decent, kind guy in a sea of spoiled brat men and tell me who wouldn't like him.

But whether that liking was love, I had no idea.

If it was just liking me as a person, then what? What was I supposed to do to turn it into love?

"Stop. Just stop."

Thinking about it wasn't going to spit out an answer, so I shut it down. Stream time was coming up. I couldn't afford to get in my own head and wreck the broadcast.

Before going live, I grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge. Talking for an entire stream always dried my ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠throat out, so a drink was mandatory. And today I had a lot to cover. One bottle probably wouldn't cut it.

As long as nothing weird happened like yesterday.

The moment I went live, viewers poured in. Maybe it was the new PC, but everything felt so much smoother.

Yesterday's stream had taught me I didn't need to sit around waiting for people to show up. Most streamers put on five or ten minutes of music first to pull in viewers. I didn't have to. Even now, we were closing in on two thousand in under a minute.

And if I didn't say anything, chat lost its mind. I'd lifted the chat slow-mode too, so it was flying even faster.

See? I hadn't said a word and they were already spinning theories and landing on conclusions all by themselves.

"Hahaha. It's nothing like that. I just went out today, that's all. Still — thanks for worrying."

Yandere was in full overprotective-noona mode again today. I chatted with her as the stream rolled on.

"So I was craving ramen and I called Se— my Escort Officer noona? And even though I just saw her yesterday, she was so pretty I still couldn't get used to it!"

I started from yesterday's walk and worked my way up through stopping by Hakuwaku today. There was no way to tell the story without bringing up my Escort Officer, and I mentioned her often enough that Yandere's patience apparently ran out.

"You try anything with Se-a noona and see what happens!"

I'd been watching Yandere go on about dying together and tracking people down, and something in me just snapped.

"Ah — no. Se-a is, uh... that's a nickname! Kind of a nickname!"

I realized too late that I'd used her actual name and tried to walk it back, but this damn Yandere wasn't even pretending to listen.

"Haaah..."

I was scrambling for a way off this topic when a donation landed, right on cue.

Her again. Still — the timing was perfect.

If someone's getting dragged, let it be me.

I wasn't about to let Se-a noona catch heat because of me. Not even as a joke.

"Yandere."

I took a breath, then opened my mouth.

Whatever happened now, happened.