If It's Going to Be Like This
If it was going to be like this.
Beastkin were inferior. Dirty, vulgar, not human but like beasts. That was what young Runyang heard every single day.
The origin of beastkin themselves had never been clear. If only there had been more of them, they might have broken free from humans, built their own kingdom, and lived apart. But because they were so few, beastkin were treated as exotic pets. Nobles and wealthy commoners raised them the way they might raise wild animals, nothing more than living ornaments to flaunt their own special status.
The same had been true for Runyang’s mother. Runyang had been pretty and adorable, but her mother was old and ugly. Growing up in the baron’s estate of the Empire, Runyang had watched and listened as her own mother was called a “beast.”
They would scrape the leftovers into the dogs’ bowl and force her to watch while her mother ate from it. That was the world that had raised her.
Even the “nyang” in her name—the syllable that marked her as cat—was the baron’s family’s deliberate choice. Among nobles they were at the very bottom, so they needed someone beneath them in their own mansion, someone whose existence would inflate their self-worth.
Born beneath the moon, they took “Lu” from “Luna” and tacked on “nyang” so she would never forget what she was. Runyang.
It was a memory she never wanted to revisit, yet the people of the baron’s house would call her name and sneer:
They tormented her with those words over and over.
That was why Runyang despised the word “beast” with every fiber of her being. It had been the slur used against her mother—the woman who had erased her own self, abandoned her life as a mother, and endured every humiliation the baron’s family threw at her, all for her daughter’s survival. It was the word she had heard throughout her childhood, when she was treated not as a person but as an animal, right up until the day she was rescued.
That was why she had burst into tears the moment Claire uttered the word “beast” outside the hospital room. Despite clawing her way up to guild master, she was still being treated the same. And the words had come from the mouth of the woman Reyan loved.
“…Reyan, did your sister do the right thing?”
Even so, Runyang had called herself a beast. She had seen the fury burning in Claire’s and Heste’s eyes, and she knew that Reyan’s gaze held only Claire. If Claire suffered, Reyan suffered. And perhaps—maybe more than anything—she cared for the Reyan who had returned after five years far more than she cared for herself.
“…Hehe. I told you not to cry, back then.”
The day she first met Reyan. The day the boy who had been possessed and was desperately fighting to survive had drifted into the guild. Runyang remembered that scene with perfect clarity.
The ground was damp with rain. The thick smell of wet grass clung to the tip of her nose. No matter how hard she tried, the discrimination for being a beastkin had worn her down until she wanted to die. She had tied a rope to a tree and was about to slip her neck into the noose when a small child suddenly appeared.
“Don’t do that! There’s no one in this world who was born without value. You know that, right? Please… please value yourself. Come down slowly. There are still so many good days waiting for you, okay?”
“You did well. Why are you crying? The ones who made you want to die should be the ones crying. Why is Noona crying? Stop it. There—see? You look so much prettier when you smile.”
“…He really was cute back then.”
Of course, the Reyan of that time had only been possessed for a few years. He had simply spoken from the modern belief that suicide must be prevented at all costs. Yet that careless kindness had become the greatest pillar of strength in Runyang’s life.
Everyone in the guild must have known that one of their own was trying to hang herself nearby. Someone must have seen it. But they all walked on by. Only Reyan—a complete stranger—had reached out to the cat-beastkin girl everyone treated like an animal.
Reyan was the first person to let her feel another’s warmth. Later, when they had grown a little closer and she confessed she hated her own name, he had offered clumsy comfort.
“It’s a pretty name, though? Every time the moon rises beautifully, I think I’d end up thinking of Runyang Noona.”
Runyang knew Reyan didn’t think of her when he looked at the moon. But every time she gazed at it, she thought of him. Sadly, the bright yellow full moon refused to hide behind any clouds and simply stayed there, shining.
That truth hurt. The emotions that had been welling up finally spilled over.
“…Ugh, hic. I shouldn’t be doing this. The one Reyan likes isn’t me.”
From the roof, Runyang stared down at the guild that no longer held him. Five years ago, when Reyan had suddenly vanished, it had felt exactly like this. The entire world had lost its color, turning to shades of black and white, and her heart had felt hollow. Back then she had insisted it was only sadness. Now she finally understood what the feeling truly was. A sister who shared no blood with her brother would never feel as if the world itself had collapsed when he left. She would never cry for him like this, never turn herself into a “beast” for his sake.
“…Hic, sob.”
Runyang wiped her tears. On nights when the full moon hung round and bright, her ears refused to stay still. She could not hide her feelings at all. Thoughts of Reyan made them twitch again.
“…Please, just stop moving!”
Sitting on the guild roof beneath the moon, Runyang clutched the cat ears that no hat could ever conceal. Reyan had once called them pretty, but every twitch only summoned his face and stabbed her heart. She had never met anyone as genuinely good and kind as him in her entire life. A beastkin like her could never be worthy of him. With nowhere else to direct her resentment, she had turned it on herself.
Plop—.
Her hands fell limply to her sides. It wasn’t as if she would never see Reyan again. If she cut her ears off, how could she ever face him? A bitter smile curved her lips as she fought to gather her shattered heart.
…No matter how talented Reyan is, there’s still more than a year left before he leaves for exile.
She shook her head. There was nothing she could do. Not as long as Reyan only saw her as “Noona.”
“…You have to be happy, Reyan.”
The chill of the roof tiles seeped into her bones. Runyang buried her face against her knees. The ears Reyan had once praised twitched resentfully. She had been about to climb down, bury this pathetic solitary farewell, and return to simply being his “sister.”
Then she caught his scent.
Cat-beastkin did not possess the strongest noses among their kind, but no other race could match them at distinguishing scents. The faint trace riding the night air was unmistakably Reyan’s.
Runyang leapt from the roof. Maybe he had come looking for her. She followed the scent, slowly at first, then faster and faster. Rounding the corner of the Fairy Tail Guild building, she sprinted across the main road—and there he was.
Without Claire. Without Heste. Clutching a liquor bottle, tear tracks dried on his cheeks. Lying on the roadside like something discarded.
“…Claire—”
The name that left Reyan’s lips was soaked in both love and hatred. Without hesitation Runyang scooped him into her arms. She channeled mana and raced back to the guild at full speed.
BOOM—!
In her desperation she had kicked the front door open so hard it flapped like paper before shattering. The guild members preparing quests jumped in alarm at the sight of Runyang. When they saw Reyan cradled in her arms, their faces went white.
“…W-why is Reyan unconscious?”
No one in the guild disliked him. He was quiet, kind, and even while attending the academy he never stopped working hard for his girlfriend.
Instead of answering, Runyang let her emotions speak. The murderous rage radiating from her eyes instantly smothered the confusion that had filled the Fairy Tail Guild.
“…If anyone from the Artifare family or the young lady from the Meliard family shows up, call me immediately.”
She carried Reyan to the second-floor office and laid him on the cot. Dipping a towel in water, she gently wiped his skin. Even drunk, he kept murmuring Claire’s name. Runyang bit her lip until it bled. Letting him go had hurt, but watching him suffer felt like tearing her own flesh apart.
“…Weren’t you supposed to be happy with Claire? What is this? Why are you in so much pain? You said you liked her. You said you loved her…”
Was loving her supposed to make you suffer this much and struggle all alone?
“Ugh… uuu…”
The stench of strong liquor clung to the tip of her nose. But there was more. Reyan hated even the lightest fragrance, let alone cigarettes—yet the faint trace of tobacco smoke rose from his body.
Because she was the woman Reyan loved, Runyang had tried to love her too. But if this was the result—if the boy who should have returned from the banquet glowing with joy was instead thrown away like garbage—then she could not accept it.
“…I hate it.”
She could not accept it at all. If it was going to be like this, she wanted to tell him to look at her instead of Artifare. Seeing Reyan in pain when he deserved to be happy was the one thing she never wanted to witness, even if it cost her life.
All night long Runyang stayed at his side, wiping away his sweat with the towel. The more she thought about how someone who couldn’t even hold his liquor had drunk himself into this state, lying on the ground like a vagrant because of how much it hurt, the more the tears came. She cried without stopping.
Just where were Artifare and Meliard, and what were they doing? Fresh anger surged inside her chest.