You Weren't That Kind of Person
Reyan watched Runyang walk away, then immediately caught Claire as she collapsed against him. It wasn't because he found her unbearably lovable right now, or because he suddenly wanted to pull her into his arms the way he once had. His chest simply hurt too much, and it felt like he had to do something—anything. It was painful. Even the guildmaster's agony couldn't have hurt this badly. His stomach churned as if he might retch, and his body felt chilled, like he was sitting alone in a snowfield with his temperature dropping. It was as if she was slowly transforming into the villainess he'd seen in the novel. As if the Claire he remembered would one day vanish completely, replaced by someone else.
“...Claire.”
Reyan whispered her name, then hugged her so tightly it seemed like the breath might leave her body. And then he murmured,
Reyan had dreamed of Claire's happiness. Because he liked her, he'd wanted to do so many things for her. But her current state was so shocking that all of it was momentarily forgotten. When she'd hurt him before, he could call it a mistake. This was different. She had deliberately lied, hurt others, and used that to her advantage. Runyang had tried so hard to believe it was just a mistake for Claire's sake, and she'd even offered to help with illegal entry despite the risk of deportation or execution from the Empire. Yet she'd called herself a beast and left this place wounded.
For Reyan, it was utterly unacceptable. The shock was as great as the love he'd felt for Claire. It hurt so much that he almost wished he were dead.
“Do you really think my sister told you to drive me away?”
Reyan released her and unconsciously wiped at the corners of his eyes.
“Why? Why are you only protecting Runyang? You always said you'd be there for me, Reyan. That you'd stay by my side. That you were on my side. So why... that beastkin...”
“...Claire.”
“Is Runyang more precious to you than I am?”
Claire begged, but he had no strength left to answer. Her questions stabbed into him like daggers. This wasn't simple jealousy. She genuinely, sincerely didn't even understand what she'd done wrong. The moment he realized that horrifying truth, everything he'd been suppressing burst out.
“...Stop it now, Claire.”
Reyan looked at her and gave a faint smile. Tears streamed from the corners of his eyes.
In Reyan's eyes, Claire saw things she'd never noticed before. She saw anxiety. She saw a measure of anger and resentment. She saw pain. But what mattered most wasn't that the subject of those feelings was Runyang—who had left after accepting the false accusations even while wounded. It was that all of it was directed at herself. The way he looked at her with eyes that knew everything made Claire glance briefly at Heste, but she couldn't help turning back to Reyan.
The tears gathered at the corners of Reyan's eyes spilled helplessly down his cheeks.
“Is she precious to me? Of course she is. Even though you hurt me, she's precious enough that I'd believe it was just a mistake like an idiot. She's precious enough that I'd think it's okay even if commoners kicked me and nobles insulted me by calling me a male whore. She's precious enough that the moment I was discharged, I wanted to run to you and hold you tight!”
Reyan stared at Claire without even wiping his tears.
“What more do I have to do? Tell me. What else should I do for you! You're precious to me. You're so precious that I should just pretend not to see when you frame my only family-like person with lies? Because I care about you, I should turn a blind eye when others get hurt? Should I endure it once, then endure it again because it's only twice? Do you even know what I—what Runyang and I—were willing to do for you!?”
He gasped for breath for a long moment. Then, as if begging in turn, he clung to Claire.
The moment she saw Reyan despairing in silence, Claire felt with painful clarity that something had gone terribly wrong. When Reyan hurt, her own chest felt like it was being torn apart.
“You know I would never keep someone who might hurt you by my side...”
Claire wanted to wipe away Reyan's tears, but she knew all too clearly that she couldn't. In the end, she spat out excuses. If she'd truly wanted to say that Runyang had tormented her, she would have needed nerves of steel to do it. She remembered Heste saying Reyan could come to hate her, but she hated this outcome. If this was what it meant for Reyan to hurt and hate her, she simply couldn't go through with it.
“...R-Reyan, I-I did it for you... I was j-just anxious...”
Reyan let out a bitter laugh and stroked Claire's cheek with one hand.
“...Hah, you were anxious, huh?”
Then he tilted his head and pressed his lips to hers. The tears that had flowed from his eyes slipped between their lips, carrying a painfully salty taste.
Claire couldn't even close her eyes as their lips met. Reyan's scent had always made her feel good, but now she couldn't sense any fragrance at all. It was a moment she'd longed for so desperately, yet instead of happiness, Claire felt only fear and terror. Because Reyan was no longer looking at her with loving eyes. Even in front of the hospital room, he'd shown eyes mixed with love and hate, but now he looked at her with something like resignation.
“...You still look anxious.”
Reyan stood up.
“...Reyan, let's go somewhere else first, even if it's just for a little...”
Heste approached and tried to look after him. But for some reason, the smile Reyan had shown while looking at Runyang was burned into her mind and wouldn't leave. A sudden surge of anger made her speak in a sharp tone. She violently slapped away the hand that had reached out to support him.
“...That's enough. From the beginning, it was wrong for someone like me—a commoner—to even come to a place like this.”
Reyan spoke in a low voice.
“Let's not see each other for a while.”
He staggered as if to leave the banquet hall, but then stopped and clutched his chest while looking at Claire. Anyone could tell the smile he forced was fake.
“Once I've sorted out my thoughts, let's go out for a meal or something.”
Even so, Reyan couldn't let go of Claire. He spoke of returning to their happiest moments. No—he was begging for the old, pure, kind Claire to return. The one whose innocence had been so heartbreakingly lovely that he'd wanted to help her no matter what, the one he couldn't help but love.
“Enjoy the rest of the banquet, Claire. Lady Heste.”
But unlike Reyan, Claire remembered the sign hanging on the shop that had once given her happiness. She knew that going out for a meal together could never happen.
[Closed Due to Owner's Death.]
Because of that, she saw this as the end of their relationship.
“...R-Reyan. W-what are you s-saying!”
Claire screamed, but Reyan simply left. Just as he hadn't been able to stop Runyang, Claire knew that if she followed him now, this would truly be the end. So she covered her mouth and simply watched him walk away.
Reyan didn't go looking for Runyang. He knew she'd been hurt, but he thought that approaching her might make her try to distance herself again for his sake. He was afraid she might end up hurting because of him once more.
He didn't head toward the academy dormitory or the Fairy Tail Guild. Taking the money Runyang had given him, he simply walked out and headed for a tavern. He knew his already shattered mind wouldn't be fixed by mere alcohol, but he drank anyway. Then, with what money remained, he bought cigarettes and put one in his mouth. Naturally, he only coughed, and the acrid smoke filled his mouth. He couldn't smoke much before throwing it away.
Nothing eased his heart, so he kept walking. He wondered if killing a monster or two might calm him down.
...
Even before the banquet had fully ended, Claire returned to Heste's villa. She sat on the large bed in the center of Heste's bedroom, her hands trembling violently.
“It's a lie, d-don't lie, Reyan...”
Go out for a meal? She knew that was now impossible. You know that too. Does this really mean we can't see each other anymore?
She coughed as if she'd caught a cold, and chills ran through her body. Claire wrapped her arms around herself, shaking uncontrollably. More than anything else, the scariest thing was Reyan disappearing. The fact that it was right in front of her wasn't just frightening—it plunged her into despair.
“...It must be hard right now, Claire.”
Heste embraced Claire from behind and spoke as if to comfort her.
“...Eventually, once Reyan sees Runyang's true face, he'll understand that you did it for him.”
Heste, did you really think Runyang was a woman who lusted after Reyan?
“She was even wearing a dress. She must have wanted to look good for him.”
If she came to the banquet for work, of course she'd have to wear a dress, wouldn't she?
“...She looked surprised when she ran into us. Maybe they'd already been kissing.”
You know Reyan isn't that kind of person.
“So, Claire...”
The moment Heste tried to dig into Claire's anxiety with her sweet voice, Claire clutched her head and screamed.
“Aaaaaaaaaaaah—!”
Tears fell drop by drop, and her arms fell limply in sync with them.
“It's your fault.... You said she might violate Reyan. Runyang even admitted to the lie I told and just left!”
Claire hadn't realized Heste's true intentions. She only knew that the anxiety Heste had planted in her still crawled unpleasantly across her skin. Because of that. Because of the lingering filth of that feeling, she'd made things hard for Reyan. She'd hurt him—Claire thought so.
“Why did you encourage me? Reyan is in pain. He's suffering because of me. If I was going to see him hurt like this, I would've rather let him roll around with Runyang. He's saying he doesn't want me by his side anymore—!”
No matter how many times she wiped them, the tears kept flowing. The smile that had always lingered on Heste's face began to fade little by little. With a serious expression, she reached out her hand and spoke.
“I told you it would hurt a little.”
“...Is this what you meant by hurting a little? It feels like someone is stabbing my heart with an awl. Even breathing is too hard! Why, why did you do it? Why did you push me, why...”
Even as she resisted, Heste brought up Reyan again.
“...I told you it was for Reyan. Stop crying and think about it. It's a good thing. Did Reyan say he hated you?”
She approached Claire and now stroked her hair.
“Reyan said you were precious to him, Claire. That's why. Because you're that precious to him, he's hurting this much. In the end, his feelings will come back. You don't throw away a stuffed animal just because it got dirty. If anything, you cherish it more in case it breaks.”
And to make her hurt even a little less, even though she knew it had no effect on mental pain, Heste sent White Mana flowing into Claire.
“...Let's think positively. The competitor called Runyang has disappeared, hasn't she? Right? The pain is only temporary, but the happiness we'll reclaim will be eternal. Trust me.”
Claire looked at Heste and nodded blankly. Watching her, Heste thought to herself,
Just endure it a little longer, Claire.
I'll bring Reyan to you. At the moment when you can trust neither Runyang nor anyone else, I'll make sure you obtain him. I'll make sure you become the most precious person of all—the one who gives up 'love' for the sake of a 'friend'.
“Let's endure it just a little. Just a little longer.”
Claire stared blankly at Heste. No, she was looking at the open part of the wardrobe across from the bed. There was a black nightgown that looked somehow damp. It was similar to the black nightgown she'd worn to the mansion a few days ago. The one that had been torn and frayed from her fall.
“...Yeah.”
Even as she answered, her gaze remained fixed on the wardrobe that had suddenly caught her eye. Claire's eyes turned, as if intentionally, toward Heste—who was embracing her with their bodies pressed closely together. Heste's touch sent shivers down her spine.