The Only Way Left
That was the only way.
Claire had called my name herself. She said she wanted to talk, and she specifically emphasized that it should be just the two of them. Even though I could tell her emotions were far from friendly—filled with wariness and raw anger—I knew that much. At the very least, Heste didn’t see this as a sign of collapse. After all, Claire had come to her directly and asked to meet alone, even though Heste had never dared to even approach her side before.
If there was one thing that tormented Heste most in her life, it was the constant pressure to be ‘perfect’ as the young lady of the Meliard family. The reason she had escaped that hellish mansion as a child and sought out Claire was to finally breathe. She had grown up being whipped for something as simple as asking for food, or even when she tried to speak of love to her mother. So she believed that if she went to the place where the young lady of the disgraced Artifare family lived—where no one would come looking—she might finally have some time to herself, away from that wretched family.
…It was the same back then. We always had a terrible start, didn’t we?
In the end, Heste had been happy to meet Claire. When she poured out her tangled emotions like a child whining, Claire would hold her and smile, telling her it was okay because she was there. Sometimes she would tease her by saying, “You got scolded again, huh?” and it would chase away all the gloomy feelings. Because happiness had filled a life once full of misfortune, Heste was able to become the recognized young lady of her family. Despite having an older brother, her abilities had grown so much that she was even considered as the next family head. The maids would whisper in disbelief at how brightly she could grow up in a family that practiced such abuse.
It was around that time that she had told her father she wanted to bring a friend over and received his permission. Her parents, who no longer had any reason to be angry, had become so indulgent they granted her every wish like saints. Naturally, she had thought they would accept Claire too. But in the end, the fact that she had abandoned Claire out of fear of her parents—who had looked more terrifying than ever, as if ready to pick up the whip again—had never changed.
“…Lady Heste, if you don’t want to, I can try to persuade her.”
As if telling her not to dwell on past evils any longer, Reyan spoke up. Heste immediately shook her head. What mattered wasn’t the past, but the present.
“No, Reyan. We’re just going to talk, that’s all.”
Reyan was the key. Even if it was twisted, he was the key that allowed her to stay by Claire’s side—someone she could never approach under normal circumstances. She placed a hand on Reyan’s shoulder and followed Claire out without hesitation.
The scrapes and bruises that had formed on Reyan’s body while shielding Heste had already healed without a trace. The thought that Claire might be struggling right now crossed her mind, but Heste deliberately pushed it aside. Just as she had healed Reyan’s wounds, if she could stay with Claire by any means necessary, then someday—even if it was in the very distant future—she believed she could slowly mend Claire’s scars too.
…Step. Step.
The sound of the two women’s footsteps echoed dully. The place Claire led them to was the rooftop. Of course, it wasn’t the rooftop of the sword training hall where she had stayed with Reyan. It was the rooftop of the main building, where the training grounds were located. The sunlight pouring down was warm, yet the atmosphere on the rooftop felt only cold.
Heste wore a fresh, lively smile as if something pleased her greatly, but Claire was biting her lip. Whoosh— The wind blew, scattering her black hair and Heste’s pure white locks. Wanting to look presentable, Heste swept her hair behind her ear. Then she spoke in a gentle voice.
“…We used to watch the outside world like this from the balcony of the Artifare Mansion. Do you remember?”
Naturally, Claire didn’t respond. Her red eyes trembled violently just from looking at Heste, but she clenched her fists tightly and stared her down.
“…What the hell are you doing?”
“What do you mean, what am I doing?”
“…You could have avoided it. Even when I grabbed your wrist, it didn’t hurt at all. What is your real intention?!”
The moment Claire shouted, Heste gently stroked her own wrist. Her skin was flawless like white jade, without a single spot or scar. Naturally, there wasn’t a single bruise or mark. Yet she deliberately avoided meeting Claire’s eyes, staring instead at her worn-out shoes as she spoke.
“…It hurt, you know?”
“What?”
“It hurt. When you grabbed my wrist.”
“…What are you—!”
“…It clearly hurt, but you want to say it didn’t? I really was in pain.”
Claire’s eyes twitched beneath her lashes. Her neck flushed red from sheer rage. She looked like she might scream at any moment, but she didn’t. Soon, the red-hot anger on her face withered away, replaced by trembling sobs.
Claire genuinely despised Heste, yet instead of lashing out, she lowered her head.
“…I’m sorry. So please… don’t touch Reyan.”
Heste had been smiling without pause, overjoyed at being with Claire again. But when the words that came out weren’t anger directed at her, but an unexpected plea not to touch Reyan, that smile quickly faded.
“…Reyan is a commoner. He has no home. He has to live in the dormitory, and he goes to the adventurers’ guild to work because he needs money. Heste, I won’t ask why you suddenly approached Reyan on purpose or why you left the scent of lavender on his chest. Please, just don’t make things harder for him. We’re already struggling just to survive. Please… just leave us alone so we can rely on each other…!”
Because of that, Heste felt jealousy rise in her chest once more. She had clearly recognized Claire’s feelings—the fact that she loved Reyan.
“…That’s impossible.”
In the end, she refused. Then, looking at Claire, she spoke with fake sincerity.
“…I like Reyan just as much as you do, Claire.”
“…What?”
“Why do you think I helped you two?”
Claire couldn’t continue. It was the moment her worst fear became reality. Of course, to Heste it was nothing more than words spat out in jealousy, but to Claire it was something entirely different. The sense of unease she had felt all this time, the handshake they had shared while smiling on this rooftop where they were alone for the first time, the conversation about how they needed each other—everything flashed through her mind like a panorama.
“No, no!”
Heste is pretty, and unlike me, she’s the daughter of a ducal family. She has money, she’s brighter and more capable than someone like me. Maybe, even if not right now, Reyan might fall for her.
As unbearable thoughts crossed her mind, Claire cried out.
“…Reyan loves me. Unlike you, he doesn’t abandon me. He looks at me, smiles at me every day, and makes me happy every time. He even said he would sleep with me! Just because you like him doesn’t mean Reyan will like you too!”
Heste watched Claire’s outburst and smiled again. Even in her eyes, Reyan clearly loved Claire. Even if he didn’t fully realize it yet, she knew it would soon turn into love. Still, she could easily tell that Claire’s sharp words came from a deep sense of insecurity.
“Yeah, I know. I never said Reyan likes me back. Why are you getting so worked up, Claire?”
To reclaim Claire—her only sanctuary—Heste decided it was necessary. …This is necessary. Don’t hesitate, Heste. She poured oil on the fire of Claire’s anxiety.
“…Ah, you’re anxious, aren’t you? Scared that I’ll steal Reyan from you…? Why? Does it seem like Reyan doesn’t love you?”
Let it burn fiercely. To make Claire depend on her, to make her feel that she needed her. Swallowing her creeping guilt and past mistakes along with her saliva, Heste continued.
“…Stop it, please…!”
Naturally, Claire had never been mentally healthy to begin with. Sobbing, she stumbled backward, tripped over her own feet, and fell.
“…Why do you always ruin my life? We were friends. You abandoned me before, and now you want to take Reyan too? Is it so unbearable for you to see me even a little bit happy? You already have everything. If you were done playing with me, isn’t it time to let me go?!”
The tears she had been holding back finally spilled over.
“…If you had ever considered me a friend even once. If you had treated me sincerely even once during all the time we spent together… Please, just leave me and Reyan alone. You’ve already carved more than enough scars into my body! There’s no need to take Reyan from me too….”
Heste approached the sobbing Claire. Then, naturally, she extended her hand.
“…Do you really think that if I just disappear, the two of you will be able to live happily?”
The hand that had lingered in the air for several seconds with no one to take it was soon withdrawn and slipped into the inner pocket of Heste’s uniform. From it, she pulled out a single sheet of parchment.
Heste handed it to Claire and spoke briefly.
“…Duke Ephedrine plans to kill Reyan during the subjugation training. I found out using the power of the Meliard family, so you can trust it.”
On that rainy day, Claire had only heard Reyan’s name. She hadn’t heard the full story about the subjugation training. For a moment, it felt like her breath had stopped, as if she might faint. The parchment listed the names of monsters that Reyan could never possibly handle. It stated that while no one was normally assigned monsters during subjugation training, Reyan would be forced to subjugate one of them. The penalty for refusal was expulsion. Expulsion meant being thrown out onto the streets, losing the academy’s protection.
Reyan… is going to die…?
To meet the eyes of the despairing Claire, Heste knelt down. Her pure white hair cascaded like threads.
“…Claire, can you protect Reyan from Duke Ephedrine all by yourself? Can you sense in advance when someone is coming to kill him? Or, if something unexpected happens, can you heal Reyan the way I can?”
“I… I can protect him even without you…”
“How? Tell me. How?”
“Somehow…”
“You can’t. You know it’s impossible.”
Then, gently pulling the silent Claire into her arms, Heste brought her lips close to her ear and whispered.
“…Claire, you need me too. You know that staying with me is better for Reyan’s sake. That I’m the only one who can keep anyone from touching you two.”
“But…”
“There is no ‘but.’ You know better than anyone that you don’t have the power to protect Reyan. Don’t you, Claire? Right?”
Claire couldn’t even resist. Heste’s voice and the contents of the parchment about the subjugation training made her vision spin and fill with tears. The words that she couldn’t protect him pierced her heart like a thorn. Reyan had protected her, yet the opposite wasn’t true….
“Please… tell me it’s a lie…”
Claire muttered to herself. Leaning forward, Heste brushed back her fallen hair and said,
“…You know, wouldn’t it be better if we went back to being friends like before instead of fighting over Reyan? I think that would be the safer path for him to live…”
Even though Heste’s true feelings settled into her ear, Claire could only grieve over the fact that Reyan had been put in danger because of the things she had done to make her happy. The sight was so heartbreaking, so gut-wrenching to watch—.
“Hmm? Claire, you’re okay with this, right?”
When Heste gently—no, when she tried to hold Claire tightly as if she would never let her go again—
At that moment.
Thud—
Claire unconsciously pushed Heste’s chest away and looked at her with confused eyes. For a brief instant, Heste’s expression crumpled. But she quickly put her smile back on and stood up.
“…I understand. Then I’ll leave. Take good care of Reyan. But remember one thing. If Reyan gets hurt, it won’t be my fault—it’ll be your fault, Claire, for kicking away my good will.”
The moment Heste turned her back—
“…M-my fault? Reyan… gets hurt because of me…?”
Claire, whose legs had given out so she couldn’t even stand, crawled across the floor and grabbed Heste’s hand. The stockings beneath her uniform skirt had runs in them, and on her pure white skin, blood droplets had formed over the scrapes from the rooftop floor.
“Ah… ah…”
“Ah, what?”
“…Until the subjugation training is over… please stay by Reyan’s side, Heste. I’m begging you.”
Claire pleaded desperately. Heste looked at her tearful face and nodded.
“We’re friends, right?”
It took Claire what felt like an eternity to utter that single word of agreement.
“…Yes.”
“Don’t worry too much about Reyan. I’ll ask the people from the Meliard family to help.”
When Heste placed her hand on Claire’s knee, the wounds healed instantly. Even the torn stockings were restored to their original state. When she extended her hand again, Claire’s powerless hand rested on top of hers.
When they returned to the private training ground, Heste looked at Claire and smiled brightly.
“It’s getting late today, so I’ll head back now. See you tomorrow.”
Claire’s awkward, sorrowful expression. Heste’s unnaturally bright smile. Reyan, who had easily sensed that something had happened between them, approached Claire and reached out. Instead of asking what had occurred, he warmly took her hand and smiled.
“Claire, I’m always on your side.”
That smile was a silent promise that it would never change, no matter the situation.
Claire had wanted to be alone today and tried to leave by herself, but she couldn’t. Reyan followed her all the way to her dormitory, then bought ingredients outside and made a simple but precious meal for them to share. When night grew deep, Reyan laid out blankets on the floor while Claire lay on the bed.
Slip—
Claire, who had thrown off her blanket, got down from the bed and lay down beside the sleeping Reyan. She kept staring at him. The water overflowing in her heart finally spilled over with a single teardrop she had shed earlier.
“Reyan…”
Claire whispered softly, then tightly embraced the sleeping Reyan. She firmly believed he loved her, but the anxiety was unavoidable. To forget the terrible truth that she had kept Heste by his side for his sake, Claire held him close, breathing in his scent….
“I love you…”
As if craving love, she brought her red lips to the sleeping Reyan’s mouth.