For Your Sake
I returned to the academy. Claire still had to go to the library for her volunteer work. Fortunately, an anonymous girl had fiercely protested, insisting that Claire deserved recognition and a reward for performing good deeds on her day off. Thanks to that insistent demand, the disciplinary action had finally ended.
It wasn’t hard to figure out that the anonymous girl was Julia. A girl who hadn’t even come of age yet had no room for prejudice in her pure heart. She must have snuck out behind her father’s back to offer some kind of repayment.
Because of that, Claire had returned to the classroom. Just a few days earlier, the incident with Duke Ephedrine had occurred, so the atmosphere between us had shifted noticeably. Still, whenever she saw me, she would smile.
“Hello.”
But that smile was strictly limited to greetings. After the incident, Claire no longer leaned on me in front of others or let anyone see us together. Even during her volunteer work at the library, she would tremble in fear whenever other nobles appeared. Yet in the moments when it was just the two of us, our world had always been filled only with each other.
…She must think I’ll get hurt if we’re seen together.
Her behavior pained me. In my heart, I wanted to ignore everyone’s stares and take care of her without hesitation. But I knew that showing a close relationship with Claire right now would be impossible.
The rumors that had spread after Julia ended the disciplinary action were the problem. All sorts of scandals and speculations about what happened at Rienie Park had multiplied endlessly. Claire had become a witch, and I had become a commoner who rebelled against a duke and could die at any moment. If the two of us were seen getting along, it would only spawn even more vicious rumors and cause all kinds of trouble.
That was why we began having secret meetings.
They were called secret meetings, but all it really meant was slipping away to the rooftop during breaks or lunch. The rooftop of the old building—the swordsmanship training hall that the nobles never visited—had become the only safe haven in the entire academy where we could breathe freely.
“Reyan, you’re here?”
“Yeah.”
On the rooftop, Claire revealed herself without any filters. She worried about me, laughed when she saw me, and sometimes even played silly pranks that didn’t suit her. Up there, it was as if none of those terrible things had ever happened. We lived like we had gone back to a few days ago.
That said, this place wasn’t exclusively ours. Even though it was an old building, there were still students who had classes there. Occasionally, other commoner boys and girls would come up to the rooftop to kiss. If we hid in the corner and watched, the awkward atmosphere would sometimes make us lock eyes and burst into laughter.
“…Looks like those two are dating, Reyan.”
“Well, even Duke Ephedrine cherished Julia. I guess even bastards like that have someone who loves them.”
“…Aren’t you interested in meeting anyone, Reyan?”
“…Me?”
“You’re handsome and your swordsmanship is exceptional… Instead of staying with me, maybe you should be with someone like her…”
Perhaps it was because of the memories that suddenly resurfaced no matter how hard we tried to forget. Every time Claire tried to push me away—me, her only friend—my chest ached. Whenever that happened, I would look her straight in the eyes and tell her again and again.
“I like being with you, Claire.”
“Hic.”
“I don’t like anyone else.”
I didn’t want her tormenting herself over disgusting people and wishing for her own unhappiness. My words were quite direct, so Claire looked away in embarrassment. But that was how I felt.
“Or do you really want me to be with someone else?”
“…Huh? W-well, that’s…”
“If that’s what you truly want, I’ll spend time with someone else.”
Thump.
Claire must have been angry, because she lightly hit me with her slender hand.
“I hate you.”
Soon it was time for the bell. I hadn’t realized it because I was particularly focused on class or anything. I simply noticed that the couples who had been enjoying their own secret meetings on the rooftop had left, which meant the next class would start soon. That was all.
“Then I’ll see you in a bit.”
Claire attended classes in the commoner classroom, but there were still lessons exclusive to nobles that she couldn’t skip or replace. That meant there was at least one time each day when we had to be apart. They refused to treat her like a noble, yet still demanded she fulfill noble obligations.
“Okay. I’ll wait for you here.”
Claire left the rooftop first, and I followed shortly after. I naturally headed toward the main building where the nobles had their classes. The reason was simple. What I currently held in my hands was far too small to fix this shitty injustice. I needed help.
The always kind, beloved woman who was loved by everyone. The original novel’s protagonist, Heste, with her flowing white hair.
I remembered that when we first met, she had said she wanted to help Claire.
…There she is.
After spotting her, I waited until she was alone. There were many nobles around, so it was better to be cautious. About ten minutes passed.
Heste seemed to have finished her class in the main building and was heading back to the dormitory. She exchanged greetings with the other nobles and left the building. Turning the corner led to the dormitory, and going a little further would take her toward the annex where the commoners had their classes. Heste headed for the annex.
She kept glancing around near the swordsmanship training hall, as if looking for someone. There was only one person she could possibly be searching for in the old building where commoners stayed.
Claire.
“If you’re looking for Claire, she’s not in the annex right now. I heard she has a class in the main building.”
I approached the startled Heste and spoke. She flinched, then recognized me and gave a small bow.
“…Ah, th-thank you.”
As expected of the protagonist, she was beautiful. Her speech, her demeanor, even the way she stood radiated goodness.
But Claire was terrified of her.
It was true that Heste had said she wanted to help Claire. Still, there might be parts of the story that weren’t in the novel. The moment I was about to ask about Claire, tears suddenly spilled down Heste’s cheeks.
“…Claire must still hate me, right?”
The moment the tear fell, Heste quickly turned her head away. She wiped her eyes, muttering to herself as if wondering why she was acting this way. At least from what I could see, Heste genuinely felt guilty toward Claire.
“…When you said you wanted to help Claire, did you mean it?”
When I asked, Heste nodded.
“Yes… I meant it.”
But something felt off. If she truly wanted to help Claire that much, shouldn’t she have stopped things like the scalding water incident long ago? The conversation from the first day came to mind, and I couldn’t help but ask.
“…You watched Claire being bullied and you’re telling me you were sincere?”
“…Th-that’s…”
Heste looked down at the ground, speaking with deep sorrow.
“…Every time I tried to help, Claire would have a seizure. Just getting close would make her convulse, and even catching sight of me would make her cry… If I tried to help from afar, people wouldn’t believe that I was actually trying to get close to her.”
“…What exactly happened? If Claire is afraid of you to the point that you can’t help her, there must be a reason.”
Then, as if making a resolution, she clenched both fists tightly and looked up at me. Her moist eyes were still filled with tears. Perhaps because my cold reaction made it sound like nothing but an excuse. She must have wanted to convey her sincerity.
“…I betrayed Claire in the past.”
“…Pardon?”
“…At the time, I thought it was the right thing to do. But you know, don’t you? Claire isn’t a bad person. She’s actually kind and gentle. She keeps enduring the guilt for things she never did. It felt like it was all my fault… The thought that I tormented my only friend kept haunting me…”
In short, she was saying she regretted what happened in the past.
“You want Claire to stop suffering, right? I can help!”
Heste seemed desperate. She stepped closer and grabbed both of my hands. Her loud voice drew the attention of several people nearby.
“Alright, just let go of my hands for a second…”
“Please… My heart hurts so much. I’m terrified that because of my mistake, Claire tried to die every day. I’m scared that the only person who ever understood me is suffering like this. Please… If I can just talk to Claire and help her, that’s enough… If you want, you can just use me and throw me away…”
Not many people failed to recognize me, and even fewer failed to recognize Heste. Small murmurs began to spread. Heste was still waiting for my answer, holding my hands tightly.
“…Isn’t that Heste?”
“That guy looks like the commoner who beat Gerox.”
“…The male prostitute that the Artifare family bought? Why is he with Lady Heste?”
As the murmurs grew louder, my first thought was naturally of Claire. If rumors reached her that I had been with the girl she feared pathologically, she would undoubtedly be devastated.
“Let’s talk somewhere else.”
Without the slightest hesitation, I took Heste’s hand and headed up to the rooftop. A few people tried to follow, but the moment they saw we were going to the swordsmanship training hall where commoners had classes, they stopped. Seeing us head toward the main building, they probably assumed Heste would never be there.
Fortunately, the couples had already left, and no one was on the rooftop. I pulled out a handkerchief from my pocket and handed it to Heste.
“Here, wipe your tears.”
After the incident with the duke, Claire had been crying and looking sad often, so I had started carrying it for her.
“…Thank you.”
Heste wiped her tears and looked at me with a small smile.
“I must look like a fool who doesn’t know how to act like a proper noble, right…? Crying and begging because of my emotions like an idiot…”
Then she began talking about Claire.
“…Whenever I acted immature, Claire would tell me that since I’m a noble, I should behave like a proper lady…”
Heste talked about her for a long time—crying, laughing, then falling into despair over how she had destroyed their relationship with her own hands. Even at a glance, the weight of her guilt seemed immense. She didn’t go into specific details, but it was clear that Heste had inflicted a wound deep enough to leave Claire with lasting trauma.
After pouring out so many stories about Claire that she could no longer dwell on the memories or wallow in despair, Heste looked at me and said,
“…Reyan, I need you. Even if you abandon me, I will gladly endure it. I need you.”
Heste said she needed me because she couldn’t help Claire directly. It made sense. Claire had screamed just from Heste reaching out her hand.
“I need you just as much, Lady Heste.”
Of course. As a commoner, there were limits to what I could do to help, so I needed Heste’s assistance as well. Rather than friends, we recognized each other’s necessity under the shared goal of wanting to help Claire.
I would help her as a ‘friend.’ Heste would return as a ‘noble’ and Claire’s ‘friend’ to ease her guilt.
Once her heart had calmed, Heste smiled and returned the handkerchief she had used to wipe her tears. I reached out to shake her hand, meaning to say I’d be counting on her, when—
Bang—!
The iron door leading to the rooftop suddenly flew open.
“…Hic, huuuhk—”
When I turned my head, Claire was there. Leaning against the iron door and slumped on the ground, she kept wiping away her tears. The image was painfully clear.
“Claire!”
I rushed over to her, but black mana flickered near where she stood. Her black eyes were visible as she shouted with extremely unstable breathing.
“Why, why were you talking to Heste like you were having so much fun?!”
As always, I tried to gently embrace the crying Claire, but she pushed me away with her slender hands. Her agitated voice echoed loudly.
“I was in class when other kids came and mocked me, saying you were with Heste. I told them not to spread lies, that it couldn’t be true. I said you were the one person who knew how much I hated and feared Heste…! Even when I was coming up here, I thought I was just being stupid and worrying over nothing—!”
“That’s not it, Claire…!”
“Hic, R-Reyan, are you going to leave me too? When I asked what you would think if I was with another woman, you’re throwing me away right away? Still… I hate Heste. No, I hate anyone else too… You don’t have to leave so suddenly… Can’t you just stay with me a little longer…?”
Then, instead, she came closer and pressed her head against my chest.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I won’t say things like that again. Please, I won’t ever tell you to leave again. Please don’t abandon me. Reyan, please… I don’t want to be unhappy anymore… I don’t want to go back to being alone—…”
Claire wrapped both hands around the back of my neck and refused to let go. I patted her back gently. Hoping she wouldn’t feel anxious about me being with Heste, I spoke briefly.
“…Claire, it was for your sake.”
Claire gave no answer.