Collapse and Addiction #2
The Doctor’s eyes darkened as she discussed future science with Marcela. Marcela looked at her with concern.
“What’s wrong? Are you feeling unwell anywhere?”
“No… it’s nothing. Sorry, but could you make me some coffee?”
“Of course.”
Marcela stood up and turned on the coffee pot. The Doctor watched her back intently, then tilted her head when a strange emotion rose in her chest.
Why am I like this…?
Something felt off, but she couldn’t pinpoint what. She opened a portal site to search for something, yet the moment she tried to recall it, the words slipped away—like typing only consonants and vowels without any real meaning. As confusion gripped her, Marcela set down the finished coffee, snapping the Doctor back to her senses.
“Thank you. I’ll enjoy it.”
“Are you really okay? You look deeply troubled…”
“I’m fine. Thanks.”
As the Doctor forced a smile, Marcela watched her carefully and said, “You seem very frustrated… Shall I ask Her Majesty if you could go for a walk?”
A walk… That was exactly what she wanted. She desperately needed fresh air right now. But would Sehwa allow it? Yesterday, she had shown a rebellious attitude. It seemed likely she would be rejected outright.
“No… I’ll ask her myself later.”
“Understood. Are you not hungry at all?”
The Doctor was about to say she wasn’t particularly hungry when she paused. For some reason, she suddenly craved something soft and mushy. Maybe it was because yesterday’s porridge had tasted so good. She had eaten three whole bowls and should have been sick of it, yet here she was… Perhaps this was the heightened appetite that came with morning sickness.
“I think I am a little hungry. Could I have some porridge?”
“Porridge? Would vegetable porridge be alright?”
The porridge she had yesterday was chicken porridge. The Doctor asked cautiously, “Is chicken porridge possible?”
“Of course. I’ll make it right away.”
Once Marcela left the room, the Doctor flopped onto the bed and covered her forehead with her arm. After all the shocking events of yesterday, her stomach should have been churning, yet she felt nothing of the sort. Maybe she had already grown used to life here.
She missed Jihyeok. What was he doing right now? He had said he would be busy for a few days, but knowing there had been no contact, wouldn’t he try to find her? Still, even after searching the Earth dozens of times with every method imaginable, he had never found this place. There was no way Jihyeok could locate it either. She had to escape on her own.
Jihyeok…
Just thinking of his face made her body heat up. She wanted to bury herself in his broad chest. She wanted to share sweet, loving intimacy with him. The Doctor’s hand unconsciously drifted downward, but she stopped when she remembered the cameras. She wanted some relief… but she couldn’t do it with those watching.
While she passed the time lost in thought, Marcela returned with a tray. The Doctor’s appetite surged, and she quickly sat down at the table. Yes, she needed to eat if she wanted to plan anything. She had to stay strong. With that in mind, the Doctor thanked Marcela as she set the tray down and picked up her spoon.
The chicken porridge gave off a much richer aroma than yesterday’s. It was obviously going to taste good even without tasting it. With eager eyes, the Doctor brought a spoonful to her mouth.
“….?”
She frowned slightly. It tasted nothing like yesterday’s. It was good, but it lacked that unique, hard-to-describe flavor that Sehwa’s porridge had.
In the end, after a few spoonfuls, the Doctor set her spoon down.
“Is it not to your taste…?” Marcela asked, her face anxious.
The Doctor shook her head with a smile. “It’s good. But… my stomach suddenly feels upset…”
“Really? Should I bring you some digestive medicine?”
“No. It must be the morning sickness making me fickle. I’m sorry.”
“Not at all. Would you like some fruit instead?”
“No, I’m fine. I just… want to rest a little.”
“I understand. Then I’ll leave you be. Shall I clear the porridge?”
“Yes. Please do.”
Marcela nodded cheerfully, bowed politely, and left with the tray. The Doctor crawled back into bed. The room that had always felt warm now seemed strangely cold, so she yanked the blanket over herself.
“Doctor. Please wake up.”
A gentle voice whispered by her ear. The Doctor’s eyes opened softly. She slowly sat up, rubbed her eyes when she saw Sehwa beside her, and asked, “Why…?”
“Marcela was worried. She said you only took a few spoonfuls of porridge and put it down.”
“I lost my appetite… You’re not going to punish me for not eating, are you…?”
Sehwa smiled softly and reassured her. “There will be no punishment.”
That was a relief. She really didn’t want to press that switch again. The relieved Doctor asked, “Thank you… but why did you wake me?”
“It’s past two in the afternoon. You’re pregnant. You can’t skip meals. I was worried, so I came. I brought lunch, so please eat.”
Today’s Sehwa was incredibly affectionate. Just yesterday she had been full of deception and seemed ready to turn violent. Still, it felt nice to be looked after. Only then did the Doctor notice the savory aroma filling the room. It was the same smell from earlier. Chicken porridge.
“Porridge again…? Can’t I have something else?”
Sehwa turned, holding the bowl, and said, “I made it myself. At least give it a taste.”
The Doctor’s ears perked up. If Sehwa had made the chicken porridge… then that flavor might be there.
“Alright…”
The Doctor pushed the blanket aside and reached out her hand, asking for the bowl. But Sehwa scooped up a spoonful and brought it to the Doctor’s lips instead.
“Say ah.”
“I-I can eat by myself…”
“Hurry.”
The Doctor hesitated. Being treated like a dog was upsetting, but refusing might earn her a punishment. So she had to obey. After organizing her thoughts, she slightly opened her mouth. Sehwa fed her the porridge, and the Doctor chewed it carefully. Then she looked at Sehwa with brightened eyes. It was the same taste from yesterday.
“Is it good?”
“Yes… It’s incredibly good…”
“It’s because I put my heart into it.”
This time, the Doctor opened her mouth on her own. At the natural gesture, the corners of Sehwa’s eyes curved into crescent moons. From then on, the Doctor silently accepted each spoonful. Whenever Sehwa paused teasingly with the spoon, the Doctor would fidget impatiently, like a baby bird chirping for its mother to feed it.
In the end, the Doctor finished the entire bowl that way. She didn’t forget to savor the faint aftertaste lingering in her mouth. Sehwa chuckled at the sight as she cleared the bowl, and the Doctor looked at her with a desperate expression.
“Sehwa… Can’t you give me more?”
“I only made one serving.”
“Make more.”
“No. You just woke up. Eating too much will make you feel bloated.”
“Please… I’m hungry…”
“I said no.”
The Doctor lowered her gaze. If Sehwa said no, there was nothing she could do. She had to follow Sehwa’s orders. That was the only way to avoid punishment and protect Yuria. Even though she wanted to scrape every last bit from the bowl, she held back… She was enduring this for Yuria.
While thinking that, the Doctor shook off her thoughts when Sehwa held out a pink cup.
“Drink some water.”
“All of it?”
“That’s up to you, Doctor.”
“Okay.”
The Doctor took the cup and drank. Maybe because she had eaten the porridge so deliciously, or because the aftertaste still lingered, even the water carried that pleasant flavor. She finished it in one go, then, forgetting her dignity, stuck out her tongue to lick the remaining drops inside the cup.
“You must have been very thirsty. There’s a water dispenser—why weren’t you drinking from it?”
“It’s not that. My throat felt blocked right after eating…”
“I see.”
“Yeah. But… Sehwa. Could you… remove the cameras in the room?”
“Why?”
“I feel like I’m being watched and it’s driving me crazy… You investigated me, so you should know…”
Sehwa cut her off. “You have a history of schizophrenia, right?”
“Yes…”
“I can’t remove the cameras. You’re too smart. I’m afraid you’ll take apart the electronic devices piece by piece and cause trouble.”
“That’s an unfair assumption…! Why would I do something that would get me in big trouble if caught? Besides, you and Marcela visit every day. I absolutely won’t do anything strange…! Please… I’m begging you…”
The Doctor was practically pleading now. Sehwa smiled beautifully and embraced her. Even though Sehwa’s body was cold, being held in her arms felt strangely warm. It was almost like being held by a close blood relative… That kind of feeling.
“I’m sorry, Doctor. Not yet. But if you continue to behave as obediently as you did today, I’ll seriously consider it.”
The Doctor let out a slightly disappointed sigh. “Alright…”
The Doctor wasn’t yet at the point of trusting Sehwa implicitly, but she did believe in her. The resolution not to trust the words of a monster had vanished from her mind. Moreover, she had even forgotten the inhumane acts Sehwa had forced her to commit. Unaware of these inner thoughts, Sehwa simply moved according to the natural flow of her consciousness. Just like when she fed her the porridge.
“I’ll tell Marcela to bring you a few books you might enjoy. Rest well today.”
Why was she being so kind today? It made the Doctor feel strangely uplifted.
“Thank you…”
Sehwa silently stroked the Doctor’s cheek before leaving the room. The Doctor sat on the edge of the bed with an excited expression and pulled a strand of her hair to smell it. The sour odor that rose made her face flush red. She hadn’t showered since being captured in the park, and after all the hardships, she must have been soaked in sweat. Sehwa must have smelled it, yet she hadn’t said a word… It was truly embarrassing.
The Doctor rushed into the bathroom and took a shower. Under the dim lighting, she thoroughly washed her entire body with warm water. Then she looked at her face in the small mirror above the sink and tilted her head.
“….?”
Her skin seemed a little paler. Her lips looked darker than usual, and her face appeared younger and more beautiful. Was it because she hadn’t seen sunlight? Or was she imagining things because of the lighting? Whatever the reason, it wasn’t bad. She felt beautiful.
With a refreshed face, the Doctor came out of the bathroom to find Marcela waiting with two books. She smiled brightly.
“You’re here?”
“Yes. I selected books on Her Majesty’s orders. I thought books related to future science might be boring or that you had already read most of them, so I brought novels instead. Is that okay?”
“Anything is fine. Thank you.”
“Not at all. And I have good news.”
“Good news? What is it?”
“Her Majesty was very pleased with your attitude today. So she said you may see Lady Yuria.”
The Doctor’s eyes widened twice their normal size. “Really?”
“Really. However, there are restrictions. When you go outside, you must wear a blindfold and earplugs. Also, Lady Yuria is currently sleeping, and you can only see her through a glass window. Is that still alright?”
There were restrictions, but simply being able to see Yuria with her own eyes and confirm she was safe was a huge gain. It was a good thing she had tried to stay in Sehwa’s good graces! From now on, she would continue to behave obediently and earn more benefits.
“It’s fine. I want to see her right now.”